Tag: Jesus

Posted on in Being Gracious, Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Worship

Unsolicited Gratitude

“Thanks, Mom!” Lydia yelled down the hall, recently.

“For what?!” I replied back. I couldn’t think of anything I had done for her in the previous moments leading up to this.

“For just being a great mom!” She came over and gave me a big hug.

There are plenty of times as a parent when I prompt Lydia to say thanks. But, in this instance it made my day to receive such unsolicited gratitude.

Lately, Lydia has been extra loving and kind. I have seen her grown in character, and I have given her some extra responsibilities and freedom at home. She has responded well and risen to the occasion. 

She also surprised me when she freely offered a Reese’s peanut butter egg (someone gave her two). As you can imagine, these days, we’re having a lot of fun laughing and spending time together. I’m grateful for my girl!

My inherent pride in Lydia reminds me of how God must feel about us when we praise Him out of the blue, or when we thank Him out of an abundance of gratitude.

He loves us as His dearly loved children. After all, if we have accepted Jesus’ loving sacrifice and forgiveness for our sins, we are joint heirs with Him!

As we grow in Godly character, we are given extra responsibilities and freedom.

I’m sure it makes Him so proud as we rise to the occasion!

Sometimes we can make life and our relationship with God complicated. But, at other times it seems so simple. He draws near to us as we draw near to Him, and in His presence if fullness of joy!

We bless God when we shout our thanks and sing His praises. It’s kind of like a bunch of flowers in full bloom. The aroma is as powerful as the flowers are pretty. What grace!

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God, thanks for Your great love and kindness! Thank You for your many blessings. May I rest in this new level of understanding Your love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you see God’s love through the people in your life?

Tasks: As you go about your day, spontaneously sing praises to God and shout out thanks for all He has done for you. As soon as you think of something praiseworthy, go for it! This could be in the shower, in your car, on the stairs, in an elevator, while taking a walk…

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Worship

Finding Grace #265

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a fun week, though some days seemed long! I don’t have anything really new to report, but there was just a lot going on every day! 🙂 Work and life went well, overall, and I also enjoyed chatting with my sister!

Lydia received a box of Easter goodies in the mail this week. She was so excited for some candy and a few Peanuts/Snoopy items. We called our family to say thank you, and I was so surprised when Lydia offered me one of her Reese’s peanut butter eggs! It was totally out of the blue, but she said she knew how much I like them. It melted my heart, and I told her how much I appreciated her generosity. Her whole face lit up in pride!

The college was on Spring Break this week, so I didn’t go to campus yesterday. I still have some grading and such to do, but instead of doing those things, I ran some errands and got my oil changed. It was so sunny out, and I enjoyed having some quiet time to myself.

Then, Lydia and I went to church for the Good Friday service! After it was over, we caught up with friends and met a three-week old baby boy! He only weighed about five pounds at birth, since he was three weeks early. He is so tiny and precious!

The weather was all over the place this week. It ranged from being in the 30s to 70s and at times was very windy. We were serenaded by some robins on several mornings. We also noticed buds on the trees and some tulip leaves popping up! Today, it has been warm and beautiful!

Today, one of Lydia’s friends came over for a few hours to visit. They decorated Easter eggs, watched a movie, played outside, ate lunch, drew pictures, and more. She is a sweet girl and very easy to be around. It’s so fun to see their friendship grow!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

Coming or Going

Lydia and I are coming off a three-day weekend, thanks to Presidents Day on Monday. 

We had considered traveling to Arizona to see family over the weekend, but a few weeks ago, I changed my mind. I had already adjusted my work schedule and traded on-call dates, so that wasn’t the issue. Also, I could have taught my class online, if needed. Basically, I was starting to prepare but didn’t have peace.

Yes, I really wanted to go, but there were several things holding me back. Some reasons were practical, like Lydia missing three days of school, not wanting to fly during COVID, or possibly having to quarantine.

Driving wasn’t really an option this time either. Arizona would be a twenty-five hour trip, one way, with me doing all the driving!

Certainly, Arizona would have been fun, but I still had a sense of hesitation. I could not place my finger on it (besides potential weather issues or having to plan ahead while already feeling time-crunched). In the end, I made the decision to stay home and was glad.

Turns out, maybe God just wanted me to rest!

As it was, Lydia and I had a really relaxing and restorative weekend. Sure, we did a little cleaning and laundry and projects, but we also slept in, worked on a puzzle, watched movies, played Monopoly, cooked some delicious food, and more.

It was just what we needed! I know Arizona would have been worth it, too, and I was bummed to say no. But, with so many variables up in the air, it seemed wise to hold off.

Most people would love to head South at this time of year. Especially in the Midwest right now! Other states are having historic cold snaps, but the brutal temperatures are just our normal winter weather in Fargo. If anything, we’ve had an easy winter… perhaps one reason why I don’t feel the need to escape!

Ironically, two other friends flew to Arizona and loved relaxing in the heat! From their beautiful pictures, it was just what they needed, too!

I’m grateful God leads each of us differently. He may tell some to stay and some to go. He may ask others to speak up and others to stay quiet. The Lord gives and takes away. He loves us in equal measure but will use our unique traits as He sees fit.

We don’t have to feel bad or feel afraid of missing out on life. As long as we are paying attention to Jesus and doing what He says, we will end up where we need to be.

Whether we are coming or going, we can trust Him! He knows exactly what we need!

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God, thanks for leading us and providing for us. Thanks for bringing us restoration and peace as You watch over us. May we bring You glory whether we are coming or going! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you enjoy the blustery winter weather? Do you have any upcoming travel plans? How do you see God blessing you today?

Tasks: Conserve your energy. Instead of feeding negativity, look for what’s going well. Trust that God has you where He wants you!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

Bring Your Tough Questions to Jesus

Yesterday, I watched a Bible Project video about “emet,” that is, God’s faithfulness and trustworthiness. I love these videos! Interestingly, the next video in the series says that Exodus 34:6-7 is the most repeated and re-quoted text by Biblical authors. Wow!!

I also heard a teacher from Read through the Word say, “If you can’t quite see God’s faithfulness in your own life, look for His faithfulness in the lives of others… both in the Bible and people you know.”

So, naturally, God’s faithfulness is on my mind this week! That said, it can sometimes be difficult to see faithfulness when you are in the midst of trials or emotional upheaval. But keep looking… It’s there!

Also, earlier this week, I was texting with two different ladies at the same time. One is very close to me and the other I have never met (a friend of a friend). They are both going through the early stages of severe grief, though their losses are different. Neither felt up to talking on the phone, so texting was their preferred option.

I wish I could take away the pain these ladies are feeling, but I cannot. It will take a fair amount of time and effort to process their intense grief. I’m available to help and listen, but I cannot heal their hearts on my own. However, I can point them toward God’s faithfulness. If they draw close to Him, He will be there strength and everything they need.

After my late-husband, Dave, died in 2013, I certainly had a lot of questions with few answers. I chose not to be mad at God, but still I wondered what our relationship was supposed to look like. I was understandably confused and disappointed.

Back then, another friend simply encouraged me to keep bringing those questions to God Himself. She validated my feelings and challenged me to not give up. Her words resonated with me as she reminded me that God could handle all my emotions. All I had to do was keep coming to Him. It was a breath of fresh air!

My daughter, Lydia, is quite resilient, but even so, she does tend to go through periods of mourning for her dad. Her grief is different than mine, and I cannot always shield her from pain and loss. Though, I can to create a safe space to discuss what’s on her heart.

Recently, Lydia showed me a paper from church where the children were asked to write down questions they would ask God. I don’t know what the lesson was about, but on the top of her list was this question: How is my dad doing?

While I hate that she has to bear such loss, I am glad she feels good about asking God tough questions. (She also asked what God’s favorite color and food were, so I don’t think she was too upset on that day.)

Bottom line: Our doubts and fears can yield a deeper faith as long as we bring all of those questions to Jesus, instead of turning away and trying to cope on our own.

Whether we come to God in anger, confusion, sadness, disappointment—or even with joy and gratitude—we are changed in the presence of Jesus.

He can handle our deepest concerns because His grace knows no bounds. It may be slow progress, but eventually, we will be on level ground again.

Don’t give up when you don’t get the answers you want. Just keep asking and trusting. God will make everything right in due time.

I’m grateful He knows our hearts better than we do!

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God, thanks that we can bring all our tough questions directly to You. Thanks for Your unmatched grace and faithfulness. Please speak words of comfort and healing; Lord, give us Your peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you find yourself weeping with those who weep? Or are you trying to bring surface (quick and superficial) solutions to deep and lasting grief?

Tasks: If you don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving, perhaps don’t say anything. Instead, show up for them. Be available even just to sit and listen, or help with difficult task. Finally, listen to this song, “God Help Me,” by Plumb.

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

Living Amid the Shadow of Death

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” –Psalm 23:4, ESV

On Sunday morning, my cousin’s precious 12-year-old son (Ethan, her only child) was tragically killed in a snowmobiling accident in Ohio. Please keep his parents and all of my family in prayer. There are no words to describe the collective heartache.

Moreover, lately, I have been aware of other people’s equally difficult losses, too. Whether loss of life due to COVID, other health issues, or even more senseless tragedies, death and destruction seem to be everywhere these days.

In times like these, I think of all my loved ones who have already passed on. It is comforting to imagine Ethan being greeted by my grandparents, two aunts (one of which is his grandmother), and my late husband, Dave. Often, it brings me comfort but sometimes, I have to stop before my grief gets the best of me.

Yes, grief is extremely painful at times. But while I am very aware of the so-called reality of Death, I am also very aware of the ultimate reality of Eternal Life and even the joy found in living in the here and now.

When I can’t wrap my mind around all of the sadness, I take all my thoughts and feelings to Jesus. He is the Source of Life, and He helps me sort out all my problems, emotions, and doubts. He relieves me of those burdens and gives me a lighter load.

But even though Jesus conquered Death (and Sin) when he rose from the grave, we still deal the pain and darkness of it every day. We, as Christ followers, place our hope in God’s eternal wisdom and plan, even we don’t understand it. We mourn differently than those who place their hope in earthly things.

Yet, how do we keep living amid the shadow of Death?

**The ideas that follow are not so much “tips” as they are reflections. Each person handles grief and loss in their own unique way. Nonetheless, I hope these thoughts point you in the right direction, towards Jesus, who will make everything right someday.**

First things first, we draw closer to the Light of Jesus. A shadow is not a shadow without the presence of light. So, in Jesus’ presence, we keep the shadows in perspective.

Similarly, we recognize that Death has lost its power. A shadow constantly shifts shape, but there is no hint of darkness or changing in Jesus (James 1:17). God is God over the shadows (2 Kings 20:9-11). When we look to the Cross of Christ, we will see death for what it really is. Only temporary.

Next, we celebrate the lives of those we love and are missing. We talk about them and share memories of them. We honor them as we place one step in front of the other, living a full life and making the most of our time. Life is so short…but God’s grace is abundant.

We recall that God does not bring tragedy and pain upon His children, but He helps us in our struggles and does not leave us in the valley on our own. He collects our tears and won’t waste our pain. Yes, He promises to use these horrible circumstances for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28).

Finally, we understand God is not surprised by tragedies or twists in our life story. If we are willing to trust Him, He will even use our story to help bring healing to someone else. We can choose to keep moving forward with Jesus.

He is the God of all comfort and peace.

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God, we thank You for the gift of Life. Lord, You are the King and You reign over death. Will You help us to trust You more when we don’t understand? Please bring Your peace and comfort, Lord. Give us courage and strength as we keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: In the midst of tragedies, where are you placing your hope and trust? Have you asked Jesus to meet you in the midst of your pain?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Valleys Fill First,” by Caedmon’s Call. Remember to take all your pain, sorrow, and grief to Jesus! He loves you more than you can even imagine.

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Food and Nutrition, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Worship

Finding Grace #251

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was frontloaded with work and other activities, in order to prepare for Christmas later in the week. Monday through Wednesday were full at work, but I was able to talk with many interesting Veterans. I love what I do!

On Monday, we watched the great conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter. It was very cool!

Lydia made some little bracelets for our neighbors this week. We took them over and enjoyed catching up. With coronavirus, we haven’t gotten to hang out as much. It was great to see them all, and hopefully, we will get to hang out again soon!

On Wednesday, there was a blizzard! Lydia and I still went to daycare and work. By God’s grace, we made it everywhere safely. When we got home that night, my car nearly got stuck in the driveway. Even though we had very little true snow fall, much of it landed in my driveway. I had to clear out the drifts before I could drive in. I was able to use a couple of new shovels and then my snow removal company did the rest.

This week, I reviewed a few more final details for my book. I ordered a proof copy and will see if I need to make any other changes. Then, it will be good to go!

For Christmas Eve, I was off from work. Lydia and I went to our church’s holiday service around 4 p.m. Then, we drove to a nearby town to celebrate with another family. We also took another friend with us. We each brought a dish to share and had fun playing games!

Christmas was spent talking with family, opening gifts, relaxing, and making cookies. It was fun celebrating Jesus!

Today, we did a little more relaxing and catching up with family. Then, we decorated some cookies and watched some movies! It has been a great Christmas break so far!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Wisdom, Worship

Glory to God in the Highest

Luke 2:14 says, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests.” This is part of the Angels’ song and message to the shepherds when Baby Jesus was born. Lydia and I read that verse this week for Advent.

Then, on Monday, the winter solstice, we got to see the ‘great conjunction’ of Saturn and Jupiter. Apparently, this is the closest they have appeared in hundreds of years. We did not have a telescope but relied on my pair of binoculars, which I keep in the car.

I did not take any pictures, but it was really special just to take it in. I’m just glad we didn’t miss it. The weather was clear and I didn’t forget!

At home, Lydia and I ate dinner and discussed what we saw. A little while later, we happened to read that verse in Luke, and it took on new meaning for us.

Glory to God in the highest heaven: I explained how when we are on an airplane we are within Earth’s atmosphere,  far, but not too far away.

Next, we have the higher levels of our atmosphere, where the International Space Station orbits. Then, there are stars and planets in our solar system, followed by other galaxies, quasars, black holes, and who knows what else.

Humans have been looking toward the skies for millennia, wondering what is ‘out there.’ Thankfully, technology has helped fill in some of of the gaps.

In fact, the Hubble Telescope, one of the most famous space telescopes, recently turned thirty years old. It was launched in 1990, and I have enjoyed the many images over the years. In college, I even had many of them posted on my bedroom walls.

I love how Psalm 19:1-6, says, “The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
3 They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
4 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.
    In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.“

Taking Luke 2:14 (above) into account, “the highest heaven” seems sooo far away. Yet, God is not unapproachable or unavailable. He is right here with us. Emmanuel.

This week, as we celebrate Jesus’ birth, maybe you just aren’t “feeling” it. Yes, it’s been a tough year. But, that’s exactly why Jesus came. To bring comfort and peace and restore joy. Therefore, we can focus not just on presents, but on His presence. Keep looking up!

Jesus came through perhaps a gazillion light years (way more than we can comprehend) to save us from sin and set us free from death. What a savior!

Yes, the God of the Universe humbly volunteered to rescue His people and bring us back into relationship with Himself. As high as the Heavens are above the earth, so great is God’s love for us (Psalm 103:11). No one loves us like He does!

Clearly, Jesus didn’t just go the extra mile. He stepped across time and space to show us just how much He loves us! Thank You, Jesus, and Happy Birthday!

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God, we glorify You and magnify Your name! May we bring You honor and understand Your great love for us so we can share it with others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Did you get to see the planetary phenomenon this week? If so, what did you think?!

Tasks: Check out the Hubble Telescope site. Look through some of the classic images and give God praise. Remember: He loves us even more than all of those celestial bodies combined!

Posted on in Food and Nutrition, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Don’t Just Settle for Snacks

Ahh, the holidays! A wonderful time of the year, full of snacks and treats! I have already received some delicious Christmas treats, both at my door and through the mail!

As a Registered Dietitian, I always recommend eating regular meals to my clients and patients. Yet, many people eat only one or two meals per day. Or, they eat in front of the television or while distracted. Then, they snack late into the night. Their whole day can be thrown off by poor habits and not eating well.

No judgment here… this happens to all of us from time to time. It is so common! As it is, many people need to rely snacks to reach their unique health goals.

Some people want to manage chronic diseases, like diabetes or kidney failure. Others want to lose weight or have more energy. Snacks can help some people achieve their goals. Even so, if they are not careful, too many snacks can hinder their progress!

If someone fills up on snacks all day, they may not be hungry for a meal. Or, if they do eat regular meals, too many snacks can still add up in calories.

Keeping a food journal could be helpful to track the trends, eating on real plates with real forks or spoons, or maybe just paying attention to natural hunger cues will help.

Some people mistake treats for snacks. I love treats, too, but the difference is snacks are ideally foods to fill in the nutritional gaps between meals. For instance, fresh vegetables and hummus, or yogurt with berries, or a few small pieces of cheese and crackers, or an apple with peanut butter.

Treats, on the other hand, are just that… treats. Not meant for every day, but rather a special occasion. Treats are “sometimes foods.” If one’s daily food intake allows for extra calories, perhaps they can squeeze in a couple of treats. Yum! But most of the time, we should be choosing snacks over treats.

If it’s your birthday, go for it! Celebrate your birthday. But, if your birthday happens five days a week, that’s becoming a habit. The things we do everyday have the most impact.

At the end of the day, it is important to have balance.

Spiritually, we can also load up on too many snacks instead of a meal. We can settle for little tidbits of Scripture or songs on the radio, without really chewing on God’s word. This is especially true when we are stressed or running around with too much activity.

Some days, I’m just as guilty as the next person. In our fast paced world, we need to be intentional with our time. Otherwise, we might miss Jesus altogether!

Let’s take time to ‘set the table,’ be still and focus on God. Then, and only then, will we have the strength to do all else that’s needed. But we can’t skip first things first. Jesus!

This season, take time to really feast on all of God’s goodness and grace. Read the Bible with a fresh perspective. Sit awhile with Jesus or take a walk with just Him.

Don’t settle for just snacks!

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Lord, may we hunger and thirst for Righteousness. You are the Giver of all good things. Everything we need is in You! Fill our lives with more of You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you like snacks in addition to your meals? What’s your favorite snack and/or holiday treat?

Tasks: Set aside fifteen minutes (to start) to read God’s Word each day. Lay aside your electronics and sit in peace. For the Christmas story, read Luke Chapter 2.

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

Paper Chains and Peace

You’ve probably heard the saying, “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change.” Just about everything cycles back around, including emotions, birthdays, and holidays. There are seasons of much and seasons of little.

There are days we can’t get enough of something, and there are days we get tired of the very same thing! Excitement gets balanced by apathy, as the newness wears and off, and becomes, well, old. But, like most things, soon we start the cycle again.

As we start December, I am grateful. I’m praising God that when everything else changes, He remains the same. Jesus is our one constant in amid chaos and change.

Whether I am having an awesome day or a less-than-stellar day, He is there. When I feel on top of my to-do list, or when I can’t even find my to-do list, Jesus is my guide.

As we head into the Christmas season, remember you don’t have to have it all together. Grief can be particularly difficult during the holidays. It’s okay not to be okay. Especially this year!

But, when darkness presses in, cling to Jesus, the Light of the World. 

Also, don’t be afraid to switch it up. Certain traditions can take a break if needed. If that happens, perhaps even some new memories will be made!

Maybe, like me, you are keeping the decorations simple. Going through a pile of memories and ornaments isn’t always helpful, so this year, we opted for a red, white, and green paper chain while watching Home Alone. We may still add a few ornaments, when we get the time, but I am giving myself the grace to just see what happens. No pressure.

For anyone struggling this season, it’s okay to feel how you feel. Just remember to take it to Jesus. He loves you more than you can understand, and He knows exactly what you need. That’s why He came… to save us and help us. He is our Living Hope!

I’m grateful that Christmas is not about the decorations, gifts, or even the wonderful Christmas music. It’s about God seeing our pain and suffering and sadness, and then doing what only He could do to bring peace, healing, comfort and joy… for good.

Christmas is all about Jesus; some people will understand that this year more than ever. There are many beautiful aspects of the season, but let’s keep it simple and focus on Jesus. Just like the song, O Holy Night, says, “fall on your knees” and worship Him!

Only He can make all things right in due time.

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God, thank you for Jesus and all He is to us! Thank you that He came to save us, something we could never do on our own. Lord, You are so good. Help us glorify you in all things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you already started decorating for Christmas? Are you planning to keep all your special traditions this year… or switch it up?

Tasks: I challenge you to rethink your traditions and why you do them. Do they honor God and family, or are they really just a distraction? Pick your best options and consider letting go of the rest (at least for this year).

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Special Days Are Still Difficult

As I previously mentioned, Lydia’s 9th birthday was last weekend! We had a fun day together, as you might expect. But, as the evening wore on and bedtime grew close, Lydia started feeling sad.

Perhaps she was already feeling sad, but she didn’t say anything earlier in the day. We were watching “Jingle Jangle” on Netflix, and I thought everything was going well. But toward the end of the show, Lydia started softly crying.

She said the show was sad, although I hadn’t noticed anything overly sad about it. It could have been the fact that it was growing late, or maybe it was just coming down after a high point (celebrating her birthday). Either way, I still needed to help her understand and deal with her emotions.

I silently prayed for help and asked Lydia to share what was on her mind. She couldn’t quite express her thoughts, so I asked a few questions to get her talking. She missed her dad, my late husband, Dave.

Soon, I remembered I had some of Dave’s clothes, saved for this very reason. Around seven years ago, I had packaged up a medium-sized box of his favorite shirts and a pair of jeans, so Lydia could one day understand more about how tall he was and his interests.

I asked Lydia if she wanted to see the clothes, and naturally, she said yes. Going through the box was bittersweet… and, I had to explain what that word means. Each piece of clothing brought back specific memories with Dave or reminded me who he was.

To me, the saddest part of all is that Lydia doesn’t have memories of Dave. She just has his clothes, his pictures, and other people’s memories. Nonetheless, I validated Lydia’s emotions and acknowledged that it was normal to feel sad, angry, or even a sense of unfairness. As she grows, so does her grief.

I offered to wash her Daddy’s clothes so she could hold them close. Just about every week, she wears her Caterpillar sweatshirt and a couple of t-shirts honoring Dave. She quickly asked if she could wear them around the house or to sleep in some of them. Sure!

I started a load of laundry, never thinking I would wash those items again… Then, I coached Lydia how to handle those difficult emotions.

I explained that some people want to run away from their emotions or numb the pain in various ways. But that doesn’t really take care of the problem, it just prolongs it.

I encouraged Lydia to do the following. We can:

  1. Draw near to God, asking Him to help us through the pain. We can tell Jesus all about it. He understands and knows exactly what we need.
  2. Share our pain with someone trustworthy. Our feelings are not the only thing, but they still are valid. Not everyone will understand, but find someone who will let you cry it out, if needed, and who won’t just tell you to get over it.
  3. Sit with the pain, as long as needed. Just let it be. Try to get to the root of the problem to understand how to deal with it appropriately.
  4. Then, find someone else you can help with the lessons you learned. Be gentle and don’t assume that everyone wants to be helped. Trust God to use your pain to bring comfort and peace where it is needed most.

Lydia and I sat on the couch for quite awhile, maybe an hour. My legs were falling asleep, as she was snuggled on my lap. It was well past bedtime when I finally turned out her light. Parents want to shield their children from pain, but there are still some situations where that’s not possible.

The next day, I gave Dave’s clean clothes to Lydia. She embraced them and took them straight to her room. She picked out the largest sweatshirt she could find and wore it the rest of the day. She even slept in it and said she had the best sleep ever. Thank You, Jesus!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and that will look dramatically different for many of us. For me and Lydia, it’s par for the course. We’ve had seven years to adjust, but then again, we’ve been adjusting for seven years! Special days are still difficult at times.

This year, people around the world are missing their loved ones who either passed from COVID or who are socially distancing to protect themselves or others. I’m so sorry.

In the struggle, remember it’s normal to feel how you feel. Let it out and deal with it in healthy ways. Pray, journal, call your loved ones, take a nap, go for a walk, etc.

Also please remember you are loved. You are not alone. We are in this together, and God is here with us. Despite all we have lost, we still have so much to be thankful for.

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God, thanks for always being there for us, in the good times and bad. Thank you we can draw near to You at any time of day, no matter how we are feeling. Please be with each of us, and wrap us in Your love and grace. Help us keep our eyes on You, not our circumstances. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you altering your plans this holiday season? What is your favorite tradition, and can you put a new spin on it? What are you most thankful for this year?

Tasks: Make a gratitude list, or write down what is going well. Be on the lookout for ways you can encourage others. You might be surprised how God uses your pain to help someone else!