Don’t Let Your Love Grow Cold

A man once asked me, which is worse, ignorance or apathy? I told him, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.” (Get it?!) 😉

According to dictionary.com, apathy is defined as, the “absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.” Or, the “lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.”

Spiritual apathy is a risky place to be. I have found myself there from time to time. It’s good to be challenged, but prolonged unpredictability and discomfort can deplete us. And, with the state of the world, that is, crazy politics, controversial religious issues, and evil around every corner, it is easy to stop caring and focus instead on ourselves. But, we cannot let our love grow cold.

There are many things in our lives that can lead to spiritual apathy. Here are four.

First, apathy can be a byproduct of unconfessed sin or feelings of guilt. Sin and guilt can lead us to separate ourselves from God. We feel judged or condemned, and eventually may not care to draw near to God due to bitterness or resentment. He is holy, just and righteous, but also full of love, mercy and grace. The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin and selfishness, but He never shames us. Read Romans 5:1-11 and then ask for the forgiveness (available only through Jesus) and be reconciled to God!

Second, we grow apathetic when we compare ourselves with others. We notice our lack and see how it stacks up with someone else’s skills or abundance. Remember, we are all uniquely made and individually called. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s masterpiece, and He created us for good works long before we ever came to be (my summary). He doesn’t make junk!

Third, we may be dealing with defeat, discouragement, or disappointment in God. Maybe He didn’t do what you thought He should and you feel let down. Well, I understand, but in my experience, the issue is that my faulty expectations of God do not match the actual reality of His sovereignty. He is in full control, even when we don’t like it or don’t understand.

As my dad says, “We don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.” So, rest assured, if the Father calls you His child, He will take care of you. Bring all your hurts, questions, and doubts to Jesus. He can handle them and give you peace, if you let Him!

And fourth, apathy can be related to exhaustion or burnout from doing too much. This may include saying yes to too many things, or saying yes to the wrong things. If you are “Still Trying To Run the Entire Solar System,” it’s no wonder you are dealing with STRESS. Indeed, exhaustion comes in several forms: spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, social, creative, and sensory. When your tank is empty, at least one of them needs to be addressed! Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith has some good resources on rest and restoration here. Let the Holy Spirit guide you to the giving your best yes.

Finally, we must guard against apathy and let the Lord replenish us. I will talk more about that next week, but for now, take some time to reflect on how well you are loving others. If you “just don’t care,” consider that a sign that you need to take a break and come to Jesus!

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Heavenly Father, thanks that we don’t have to be in control of our lives. Instead, we can rest in knowing You are sovereign and will lead us where we need to be. Help us wait on Your timing and stay in step with You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you recognize apathy in your life? What has made you turn the corner toward caring again?

Task: Take this free quiz to help you identify where you need to rest.

Finding Grace #545

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

I had a great birthday week! Originally, I took the week off work for a trip, but we canceled it due to unexpected circumstances with our fellow travelers. We hope to reschedule, but I kept the time off anyway. I soon discovered God had a lot of other things planned for me instead!

On Sunday, after church, I attended a short training. I had been through a version of it years ago, but it was good to get up-to-date on ways to serve in the church. I prayerfully signed up for some activities this Fall, but we will see how it all pans out.

On Monday, Lydia and I did some back-to-school shopping, then cleaned the car and the garage. Later, I squeezed in a quick hair cut and met a friend for coffee. It was great to catch up!

On Tuesday, I got messages from two coworkers that I had a flower delivery. I was not expecting anything, so I went in to pick them up. Lydia came with me and had fun saying hi to my coworkers!

Tuesday evening was really special, as we met some old Caterpillar friends for dinner. They contacted us within seconds after we canceled our previous travel plans, so I feel like it was from God. It would have been a bummer to miss them; I always hold a special place in my heart for friends who actually knew Dave. Thanks, Lord!

I did not have any overt plans for my actual birthday on Wednesday. But that was 100% fine with me since it was good to relax! Also, I usually receive a ton of cards, calls, texts, and social media messages, so I like to take time to connect with everyone who thought of me and made me feel special. Thank you!!

Thursday was a good day for continuing education and errands. Mainly, I wanted to get a few things done to set us up better for when Lydia starts high school in a couple of weeks!!! In the evening, we had a blast attending a murder mystery dinner show. This was unlike your typical dinner theater. The cast was dressed like everyone else and was interspersed within the audience, so we all participated in solving the crime. The four-course meal was delicious, and we had a lot of laughs!

On Friday, I got my oil changed, along with some other minor car repairs. It was all part of my scheduled 120K-mile tuneup. I gotta keep my car in good working order! In the evening, Lydia and a friend met up with the church youth group for a Redhawks game before enjoying a sleepover at our house.

Today, I did Saturday things while Lydia and her friend slept in. Later, I took the girls shopping and out to eat. It was a fun end to my birthday week!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Cheers to Another Year!

Today, I am celebrating another trip around the sun!! I am really grateful for all the ways God blessed me over the last year! Last summer, I sensed that He had something special for me. Soon I recalled that I was about three years old when I decided to follow Jesus… So, essentially, this was my fortieth year of walking with Him!

Here’s a quick recap of some of the highlights:

Last Fall, I finally had some landscaping done! It took me years to get around to it (to have the money, set it up, and make the decisions). But the Lord helped me follow through. No, I have not added any plants yet, lol. But, truthfully, I just love how the rocks look, and so the plants are not my top priority right now!

From September to May, I completed two semesters of leadership training at my church. This was a comprehensive class where we met once a month for teaching and did some online coursework. It covered many important topics and gave me more confidence in sharing my faith. I am excited to see what God has in store for me next!

After years of avoiding it, I made the decision to widen my palate and start orthodontics in January! I will get the metal MARPE device out in the next couple of months and then finish with more aligners. I am still hoping to avoid double jaw surgery, but I am happy with my progress so far!

In March, I went full-time at the VA, after years of being classified as part-time! I am grateful for all the ways God has provided for us since Dave died in 2013. He continues to be a wonderful Provider. Somehow His math always works out!

In May, Lydia and I flew to Chicago to see family and attend a barefoot shoe expo. Spending time with my sister was just what I needed! We hadn’t had that much time together – just the two of us – in many years! It was a fun trip and helped us get through the thirteen-year mark of Dave’s death. The Lord has been so faithful!

I have continued my journey to relieve pain and tension in my neck, shoulders, back, and hips. I’ve changed my workouts, practiced mobility exercises, gone to the chiropractor, prioritized sleep and rest, and said ‘no’ to better manage stress.  I can’t take good care of others if I don’t take care of myself! One specific praise is that in June the Lord healed my neck on the spot at a prayer event. I was surprised but gladly received His personalized gift.

I joined a book club at church, and it has been such a joy. Books + deep conversations about faith + friends = a few of my favorite things! Pretty much any book or genre is fair game. So far, we’ve read Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace by Debra Moerke, and also Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus by Nabeel Qureshi. Our current book, The Winning of Lady Wisdom, is by a North Dakota author, Sarah Dixon Young!

Over the last few months, Lydia and I have visited with several Caterpillar families. It’s really special when we meet up with friends who actually knew Dave when he was at his best. I appreciate how these dear ‘CAT guys’ still reach out to connect with us. Thank You, Jesus!

This year, I have greatly enjoyed watching Lydia grow in confidence and faith. She got her driver’s permit last fall, and it’s been fun watching her learn the rules of the road and put them into practice. I can’t believe she will start Freshman year in a couple of weeks! I’m extremely grateful for how God has gotten us to this point!

Finally, I’ve seen how God continues to use my story to help others. I have had the opportunity to share my book and, in some cases, to get together for coffee to encourage people: widows, moms, etc. After all, the highlights above don’t overlook the real struggles and sacrifices of the last year, but God’s goodness and grace triumph over them.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your faithfulness in my life. It is a privilege to walk with You every day and move Your heart. May I never take it for granted! Help me continue to be a blessing to others so they may know You, too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: As you reflect on the past year of your life, where do you see God’s faithfulness? Have you thanked Him for all He has done for you, or are you focused only on the lack?

Task: If you’ve read this far, the yellow roses in the picture were sent to me at work yesterday!! It was a timely reminder that God sees me – and it felt like a capstone to finish off an amazing year. My kind, generous friend was simply obeying what God told him to do, and we had a good chat about all that He is doing in our lives. We don’t always know the outcome of our obedience, but as Dr. Charles Stanley always said, “Obey God and leave all the consequences to Him.”

Finding Grace #544

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a great week, and I felt God’s grace all around me.

On Sunday, after church, we stayed to serve at OASIS. I’m glad we did, because some of the ‘regulars’ who serve were not able to attend. Later, we enjoyed family Zoom.

Monday was quite a full day! Work was busy, and then I left early for an orthodontic appointment. I am on track with my treatment plan, though I still have a long way to go to get my teeth in correct alignment. Hopefully, at my September appointment, I will find out more about when I will get the MARPE device removed!

Monday evening was fun because I went to my small group/book club at church. We shared our thoughts on Nabeel Qureshi’s Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus and other facets of salvation and our walk with the Lord. It tells the story of his conversion from Islam to Christianity before his death in 2017. I learned so much about the differences between various Muslim sects and how they think vastly differently than we do in the West. One important thing to remember is that the Bible stands on its own when compared to any other book or religion. We need to know what’s in it and how to live it out, but God is the one who changes hearts. It is on us to develop friendships with people and share His Truth mixed with grace and love.

Work was once again very busy, but good. I had a full schedule with patients and meetings, but also had almost no cancellations or no-shows. This is really good for my patients, though, and I enjoyed seeing them. Many of them were quite friendly and had fairly easy issues to work through. So, while I had a lot of charting, at least it all went fairly smoothly! We also celebrated one coworker’s birthday, and I had a good conversation with another about my story. They ended up buying my book, so that was really cool!

The weather was amazing this week! The mornings were much cooler (in the 50-60s on some days!), and it was great walking into work. The afternoons were warm but not hot, which is just about perfect. That said, it is an early indication of the changing of seasons! Fall will be here soon!

Today, I met a newly widowed single-mom friend for coffee. It was nice to finally get together in-person. I listened to her tell her story and encouraged her in her faith. We talked for nearly three hours, and we both were grateful for the time together!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #543

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was FULL of God’s grace! 

On Sunday, after church, we met some dear friends for coffee. We had fun catching up! Then, Lydia and I had a relaxing afternoon before family Zoom.

Work was very busy, finishing off a full month of patients, meetings, and so on. But I know I was right where I needed to be. I helped several patients who were really special. I enjoyed a potluck with my coworkers and helped solve some minor problems. I also finally got my full-time status officially approved. I have been working FT since March, but there were a few glitches, so I wasn’t getting paid properly. It’s all good now, and I will get some backpay. I am grateful my manager and supervisors are such great advocates for me!!

This week, I connected with a newly widowed, single mom. We texted and chatted on the phone, hoping to meet in person soon. She has a ten-year-old girl, and we have a lot of similarities in our stories. It made me think of my other friend, Amy, who was a godsend when Dave first died. I hope to be a good resource for her, with Jesus’ help and grace!

Lydia and I had several good mom-daughter moments. I am so proud of the decisions she is making, mostly on her own. She is learning to listen for the Lord and follow His voice. We had a lot of good laughs and some deep conversations. I am so grateful for her!

This week, we had a lot of prayers going up for various friends and family. I could sense God moving in and around me. There’s no better place to be! As a side note, I prayerfully postponed some upcoming plans, and immediately, God showed me He has better plans for me during that time. He is so good!

Today, we went to a small flower farm outside Moorhead. Then, we did some thrift shopping and dropped off a huge bag of puzzles for some friends at church. They were so surprised! Then, Lydia went to help a friend with a fundraiser, and I did some cooking at home. It was a great start to August, my birthday month!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #541

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a week of a fun mix of planned activities and a few surprises! 

On Sunday, dear Caterpillar friends visited from Illinois. We met Mike and Becca when they moved to Fargo when Lydia was around six months, about the time Dave got sick. They were a huge blessing to us, and you can read about them in my book. Now, they have four kids and live near Peoria, so it was really sweet to have them over to our house.

On Monday, Lydia went to church camp in Devils Lake. She took a friend, and they had a blast at Senior Camp. I picked them up on Friday, and Lydia spent the rest of the day resting. I am glad they had so much fun!

On Tuesday, I stayed an extra hour at work to give a presentation to a different Veterans organization in Minot. I recognized a couple of people from the VA services we provide, and they told everyone how great a speaker I am. That felt good, and I was glad to teach them about an anti-inflammatory diet to deal with chronic pain!

The weather was hot and even a little smoky due to the Canadian wildfires. On Wednesday, we had an employee picnic at work, and God blessed us with a little cooler weather and no smoke in the air! By the end of the day, the smoke was rolling in, so I was really grateful we got to enjoy the time outside. I also saw several monarch butterflies in the healing garden, so that was extra special.

Today was fairly relaxing. I went to the bank and Costco, cooked a bit, did the usual Saturday things, and took Lydia for a driving lesson to practice parallel parking. Later, we met some friends at the splash pad in our neighborhood, and then they came over for an hour or so to visit. The little kids had fun, and I hope they come back again soon!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #540

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was full of activity but also full of God’s grace! We had a variety of activities each night. Some were planned, and some were spontaneous.

Work was wildly busy, which is about what I expected. I had a full schedule of planned patients, but I also needed to work on some projects and return some phone calls. It felt good to connect well with the Veterans and know God was helping me every step of the way.

On Monday, Lydia went to the county fair with friends. That night, I also had my monthly book club meeting. We had a great time discussing our book and sharing more about our lives! I have already started our next book!

On Tuesday, after work, Lydia had her third driving lesson. I prayed quite a bit because it was on the highway during a busy time. God came through for us, like He always does!

Wednesday night, I dropped off Lydia to watch a friend’s softball game. Then, I ran some errands. She got a ride home, which is good because I was deep into organizing around the house!

I mowed the lawn on Thursday, since the rest of the week would be hot. Lydia went to a sleepover with her friends, so I had the evening to myself otherwise!

Yesterday and today were a mix of organizing and relaxing. I ran some errands, did Saturday things, and watched a movie with Lydia. A good way to end a busy week!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Parenting and Proverbs 3:5-6

The last several months have been great with Lydia. It is fun to see her spread her wings with her friends and make decisions apart from me. I have coached her through some challenges and at times bankrolled her, but it is good to see her thriving. And it has made me lean on the Lord even more!

Yesterday, Lydia had her third official driving lesson with her teacher! She has been doing well so far; however, I was a little nervous. You see, I had heard the teacher was taking Lydia on the highway for this lesson.

I have had Lydia driving on both I-29 and I-94 a handful of times, but not during Fargo’s “rush hour.” Obviously, the traffic is nothing like that in Chicago or Atlanta, but it can still be quite fast and busy. There are some crazy drivers at times!

So, over the last week, I had been praying that God would keep Lydia safe. After all, He loves Lydia even more than I do. And, when I saw it might rain, I asked my coworker, Natalie, to pray as well!

On Sunday, I took Lydia out for a quick highway lesson. We practiced merging onto the highway and exiting. I reminded her to be aware of her surroundings and to get up to speed as soon as she could. Then, yesterday, before I left for work, I coached Lydia to speak up if she was in over her head. She is typically pretty calm, but I wanted to remind her she had a voice.

I also reminded Lydia to have a snack before she walked to the school to meet the driving teacher. She admitted she was a little nervous, but I kept my own thoughts to myself! Now, I still deal with fear from time to time, but I am aware and working on giving it to God. I don’t want my fear or concerns to negatively influence Lydia.

All day, while Lydia waited to drive, I prayed during my work breaks. I had read Proverbs 3:5-6 that morning, which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (ESV)

I tried not to worry or overthink it, while praying that the teacher would have wisdom and that Lydia would have confidence. The weather forecast predicted rain, but I asked God to hold it off.

And you know what? He did! Lydia did a great job, and traffic was backed up due to road construction, which helped people drive more slowly in those sections. Even the teacher was surprised that they spent more time sitting in traffic, even though it normally flows quickly. However, he told Lydia she did well and passed the lesson.

Lydia texted me on her walk home, and I heard thunder just as she made it into our yard. Less than a minute after she walked inside the door, the rain let loose. It poured on and off for the rest of the night, and I praised God for answering my prayers!

When we trust God with all our hearts, we acknowledge He is in control as we submit our plans, thoughts, and feelings to Him. We remember His love for us and rest in Him, as we let God work on our behalf and do for us what we cannot. Thanks, Lord Jesus!

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God, thanks so much for protecting Lydia yesterday. Our Victory is in You! Thanks for covering us with Your mercy and grace. You are so good and faithful, Lord. Help us trust You more and more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: How are you trusting God this week?

Task: As 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

The Ripple Effect

On Monday, I came home from work to find about three cabinets’ worth of stuff on the kitchen counters. I was a little surprised, but Lydia was so excited. She proudly showed off her ideas for rearranging the spices, coffee, pasta, and baking items that are in those cabinets. She even had made some tentative labels with sticky notes. 🙂

My first thought was, “Oh, great… here we go. All wanted was to eat supper!” I made a few executive decisions. “Let’s leave the coffee alone because I want it near the sink and coffee maker.” But I also listened to Lydia explain she wanted to move the vanilla and maple syrup closer to the baking soda and baking powder. I agreed, and we worked on a few other decisions.

Then I suggested we take a break to eat, which let me gather my thoughts before I got too hangry. Once my stomach was happy, I realized I had indeed told Lydia she could help me with this project. I didn’t want to do it at all due to timing decision paralysis. I kept putting it off, procrastinating. So I was grateful for the help.

We ended up tossing some old spices and regrouping others. It turned out to be really helpful, and it opened up some space for some random items sitting on the kitchen counters. We made plans to tackle that this week when I have some time off work.

This was a good example of ‘the ripple effect,’ or how one decision impacts other events or choices.  One kind word or one generous act can make all the difference. I heard something about this recently, which reminded me of how God can turn all things into something good – for His glory and on our behalf (see Romans 8:28). It doesn’t mean all things are good, but that God is working them out. The ripple effect seems to be God’s specialty!

In my case, it was thankfully not too complicated. Lydia cheerfully challenged the status quo, and that prompted us to make some changes. It will feel good to update our storage and for everything to have a place again!

Then, yesterday, I had an unexpected phone call from a patient. She thought she missed her appointment, but it’s not until next month. Still, we were able to talk for a while, and it turned out to be a good thing. She has cancer and some personal challenges because of it. I answered her questions and put her mind at ease. But, more importantly, I was able to help her see the bigger picture: that all hope is not lost.

From our conversation, I could glimpse the ripple effect. By God’s grace, during our phone call, I was able to support and encourage her. I pray she will make healthier choices. Perhaps her new plan and sense of peace will translate to a better outcome for her, too. I can’t wait to talk with her in a few weeks!

Some people would say that all things are connected. I choose to give God credit, but even if someone else doesn’t, He still oversees everything and reigns over it all. His decisions carry the most weight, but we get to take a part in what happens. On a personal level, our choices today set us up for the future, and they can also influence others people. It can feel like a lot of responsibility, but I am grateful for Jesus’ help! In His Name, we can spur one another on toward love and good deeds!”

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Heavenly Father, You are sovereign and good. Thanks for Your help and favor. Help me choose well and be a blessing for others. Draw us close to You, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are your thoughts on the ripple effect in your life? Where do you see God working right now?

Task: Prayerfully consider your day and see how everything is connected. Ask the Lord to help you make choices that positively impact others.

Finding Grace #538

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a fairly calm week.

On Sunday after church, Lydia and I drove an hour to Detroit Lakes to spend the afternoon. We walked through a flea market, stopped by a car dealership to dream a little, and then went to a bookstore and food co-op downtown. We were thinking of Dave on Father’s Day and thought going on a little adventure would honor him best!

It was pretty routine as far as work. Lots of patients, some cancellations, and no-shows. I always think it will be a challenge to get everything done, but somehow Jesus always helps me finish all my charting! Thanks, Lord!

On Friday afternoon, I took Lydia to the mall to hang out with friends. I went back to work for a bit, then picked Lydia up. She and one friend wanted to walk around a little longer, and so we did a little shopping. It was fun to hang out with them and listen to them interact. Later, I dropped the friend off at her house, and Lydia and I watched a movie.

I loved the weather this week! The temperatures were mild, not too hot nor too cold. It rained on and off, but it was the perfect mix of sun and clouds. This is a really beautiful season!

Today, I worked on little projects around the house. It was nice not to rush. I do my best work when I can take my sweet time, so I relish the opportunity. Lydia helped me in the kitchen, and we enjoyed the time together!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!