Tag: fear

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Pivot, Wisdom, Worship

Cornerstone

Lately, I have noticed a subtle shift in my house. It is a good and natural thing, but it has surprised me. I recognized it this week, which helped deal with it. At least for now!

Basically, I have been a little short with Lydia, and it bothered me. She’s a great kid and doesn’t deserve that. I couldn’t figure out the issues until I prayed about it on the way to work Monday.

I think my feelings of frustration were related to a few factors. First, Lydia is growing more independent. So, she wants to have some say in what we do. I also want this for her, but to do that, I need to let go and let her. And that’s complicated sometimes. 🙂

Part of this is related to “puberty brain.” Normally, Lydia is obedient and reliable. But now, she “forgets” to complete tasks or wants to negotiate. That’s fine sometimes, but I put my foot down this past weekend and reset some boundaries. I know this is just the beginning, and communication will morph over the next few years. Again, this is all normal!

Another factor is that I have been the only adult at home for over a decade, which is a lot of responsibility. And, I have expectations about my house and space! Over time, I have taught Lydia to do various household tasks, but if she doesn’t follow through or moves like a sloth, I either have to do it or reinforce it… again. Both take more time and dilegence.

Free Medieval Castle Detail photo and picture

On Monday, I was also nervous about the timing of things at work. I had two complex patients coming on top of my regular patient load. They were expected to come back to back and had a lot of similarities which I needed to keep straight. I lost a little sleep about this, and so I was just a little grumpy with all that on my mind. 😉

Then, before work, I had to remind Lydia to move her shoes after I tripped on them. She knows not to leave them in the middle of the floor. I yelled out of exasperation and had to apologize. It all worked out, but on my way to work, I prayed and asked God to help me readjust… and as soon as I did, He did a little heart work!

On the radio, I heard a few songs, like Tasha Layton’s “Look What You’ve Done.” There’s a line about God tearing all the roots up from our hearts, getting rid of lies and replacing them with His Truth. I envisioned God taking my fears and grumpiness as I soaked up His love for me.

Then, I heard the song, “Cornerstone” by TobyMac. It was a great reminder of what really matters: Jesus. My identity is found in Christ alone, not in if the dishes get done (or if Lydia remembers them or not).

Jesus is my cornerstone, the perfect foundation. My security is found in Him. He is my hope, my joy, my peace. Jesus encompasses all I am, and His expectation is that I walk with Him. His mercy and grace cover all I do. No more, no less.

As Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Life can quickly change, and no two days are alike. If we let our circumstances or emotions run the show, we’ll keep spiraling out of control. One minute, we are “happy” when things go our way, and the next, we are losing our temper over towels left in the dryer. Ahem.

We can’t always predict how things will go, but we can run to God, who is our Rock. He is strong and steady, a sure place to land. He is the only thing that matters in the end.

I know the Lord will keep working in my heart and household. I have invited Him in and give Him full reign (sometimes hour by hour!). I am excited to see what Jesus does in me and who Lydia becomes in Him.

So today, instead of getting bent out of shape, I will let God shape me. He is the beginning and the end and knows all things. His plans for me are good and trustworthy! He can use any challenge for His purposes. Nothing is impossible for Him!

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God, thanks for being my foundation, my cornerstone. Thanks for the reminder that I am not in control and don’t need to be! Help me trust You more and let You direct my path. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Are you relying on God to steady you this week? How has He come through for you lately?

Task: Let God strip away everything that is not of Him. It is painful at times, but worth it! Check out this final song I heard on the radio, which helped tie everything together, “One Thing Remains” by Passion ft Kristian Stanfill.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Wisdom, Worship

Keeping A Quiet Heart

There are a lot of heartbreaking news flashes lately showing videos or commentary on war, genocide, diseases, and more. Israel, in particular, is important for Biblical reasons. Conflict in Israel indicates Jesus is coming again soon and that we need to keep praying. No one knows the day or the hour He will return, so don’t delay your decision to accept His sacrifice and atonement for our sins. Today is the day of salvation!

While I can “change the channel,” those directly affected cannot. I don’t take any of that lightly, but focusing on the news can prime me to expect more negative things to happen. But all is not lost. God still reigns, so I can keep a quiet heart and remain at peace.

Keeping a quiet heart is not about self-preservation. Instead, it helps me pray and listen to the Lord, so I know how He wants me to help.

On a personal level, my prayer list grows longer every week. For instance, I recently met a couple battling colon cancer, and I can understand how overwhelmed they are with surgeries and setbacks. I know how it feels and have been reaching out to encourage them in practical ways. 

It is a privilege to be relatively safe in America, and it’s an honor to pray and help those around me. We are right to be concerned. But I find myself sometimes waiting for the other shoe to drop. The perceived stress of expecting something to go wrong can sidetrack us if we don’t stop ourselves from worrying.

Free Sunset Eve photo and picture

When things go well for me personally, it feels boastful to enjoy them amid so much pain in the world. I should celebrate meaningful work, worthwhile conversations, and even good hair days, but sometimes, I neglect to appreciate the peaceful moments.

I was a little convicted of this yesterday on my drive home. Life can change in an instant, as many of us have experienced. There are already so many ways things can go bad; we really should honor the moments when things go well because they don’t last.

Yesterday afternoon was beautiful with a bright blue sky, little wind, crisp air, and bright yellows mixed in with green and brown hues. I had a good lunch, awesome patients, and arrived home before traffic got too bad. Lydia and I had a fun evening together. A wonderful day with minimal stress.

Soon, I realized God wants me to enjoy the life He’s given me and all of its goodness. It’s not that I shouldn’t pray for conflict resolution or lend a hand. Peacemaking is so important, and God values it! But peace in the world looks different than peace in my heart.

I can’t afford to focus on the negative because that will drag me back toward fear. Instead, I can turn my eyes in faith toward Jesus and the abundant life He died to give me. That is what attracts people and points them to God’s lovingkindness. 

Free Ocean Sea photo and picture

In fact, there are many ways we can live a godly life. Sometimes, we need to speak up and advocate for change. We may need to donate time, money, or effort. But, we can also smile, praise God, and be kind. We can relish all He has done for us with gratitude. A good attitude shows God’s faithfulness and grace to a world in need.

Conversely, a negative spirit or sharp tongue can hinder God’s work. I know a number of Christians who often complain and are bitter toward others. They are stingy and always look for things going wrong (which is why I want to catch myself and look for the good!). Surely, that’s not what God intended for His people!

Anyway, God has done many good things for me/in me/through me, and I know He can do so much more in the lives of those around me. In fact, that’s why Jesus came! He rescued me from deeply rooted fear, so imagine what He can do for you.

I’m not saying to avoid involvement in politics or the causes that matter to you. I am simply saying don’t overlook the impact living a full and joyful life can have. God can use both fiery resolve and a peaceful, quiet heart to accomplish His purposes (see 1 Peter 3:3-4). Both have great value amid the world’s pain, darkness, and destruction. Nothing is impossible for Him!

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God, thanks for all You have done for me. Thanks for helping me see the beauty of a life well-lived. Help me to celebrate and enjoy all of the goodness around me. May I advocate for those in need and glorify You in all I do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you jump right into conflict, or do you watch and pray? Do you find yourself living life with joy or with hesitation?

Tasks: Celebrate when things are easy and fun, but also praise God when challenges come. There is joy and growth in both situations! Finally, put your trust in Jesus today. He is the soon returning King!

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Pivot, Prayer, Wisdom

Movie Review: Sound of Freedom

Last night, I watched the ‘Sound of Freedom’ movie with a good friend. We were unsure of what we were getting into since the topic is child trafficking. I wasn’t sure if it was all hype, but it is based on a true story, and I felt it necessary to bear witness. It is important to learn more and call out the darkness. It is listed as PG-13, but I’d say it’s more appropriate for 16+ given the heavy, gripping material.
Honestly, this is probably one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. While some may argue, it is not a political movie nor a religious movie. It’s not about coercion or emotions. It is about saving children and raising awareness. ‘Sound of Freedom’ is about heroism in the face of evil. It’s an incredible story of courage and hope! My heart was pounding from the get-go, but it showcased many brave people stepping up and risking their lives to do what was right.
I learned that more people are enslaved today than at any other time in history (even in the ~300 years when it was ‘legal’); over two million are children. Snatched from their families, often under false pretenses. In terms of money, it has surpassed illegal drugs. Horrifying.
Free Boy Alone photo and picture
This movie is just one small part, but it was outstanding. In terms of acting and storytelling, it was all done very well! As I reflect on it, I understand that the reality is far worse. It shows just enough to make the point. Given the topic, some parts are a little emotional, but it was very much worth seeing. Apparently, it was #1 during it’s opening weekend, even beating Indiana Jones! Wow!
My reaction? This movie makes me want to do two things at once. I could easily hide away in my safety zone, protecting all my loved ones! But I am also compelled to go out and use my voice to make a difference. While God is not calling me to go directly into dangerous territory, I can pray for those in the daily struggle. I can press for better laws and better processes. I encourage you to see the movie and vote with your entertainment dollars.
Similar to how The Chosen tv show was originally funded, you can pay it forward by buying a ticket for someone. (Or, if needed, you can benefit by getting free tickets.)
There is work to be done. Read the statistics. Learn the signs. Donate to an organization. Volunteer. Speak up. Let’s send the message that “God’s children are not for sale!”
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God, thank You for being our Rescuer. Thanks for opening our eyes to the evils around us. Help us move forward in faith, wisdom, and boldness. May we be sensitive to the needs right in front of us. Fill us with compassion and courage. In Jesus’ Name Amen
Questions: How can you be a difference-maker today? Where can you stand in the gap for someone?
Task: Check out the Sound of Freedom movie in theaters now! Also, don’t be overwhelmed with what to do… just do the very next right thing and trust God to lead you.
Posted on in Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward book, Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Personality, Wisdom

Mood Meter

Hello! How are you feeling today? Today, I want to tell you about a tool called an emotion wheel that can help you understand how you feel so you can decide what to do about it!

I first encountered it while writing my book, though it has existed for many years. It helped me describe my feelings about Dave’s sickness and death, not to mention my struggle with fear, faith, and moving forward.

The act of writing was rewarding but challenging, so I appreciated being able to point to an adjective and analyze my feelings, process my grief, and stick with my project. In short, this tool takes abstract concepts and makes them more concrete.

I recently came across the emotion wheel again, and it felt like God’s perfect timing, as next Monday is the tenth anniversary of Dave’s death.

Most emotion wheels will highlight the basic feelings of happiness/joy, sadness/grief, fear, anger, disgust, and surprise. As Lysa TerKeurst says, “Emotions are indicators, not dictators.” So, we can use them for insight, but they don’t run the show and should not predict how we act.

We must identify emotions to validate and resolve them before they spill over on others. Unchecked emotions can lead to assumptions and wreak havoc. If not now, later. Unresolved anger can lead to passive aggressiveness, jealousy, and revenge. Fear can yield playing it safe and missed opportunities. Grief, without an outlet, can stop someone from living fully.

There are several ways to use the emotion wheel. You can start in the middle and work your way out, or vice versa. Find words that resonate with you and see how they are related. Then, you can come up with the next steps to address them.

Not surprisingly, it is common to feel several emotions at any moment. We may be confused or conflicted, like we are literally all over the place internally. Many of us feel physical sensations, like headaches, gut issues, pain, etc. We also tend to misunderstand others’ emotions, taking things personally when we shouldn’t.

Here are a couple of examples that have stood out to me when I’ve used the wheel:

“Oh, I am feeling isolated, which is similar to being lonely and related to sadness. Hmmm… could it be another layer of grief?” I could take a walk, but maybe I need to call someone for support.

or

“I am feeling overwhelmed, which is next to anxiety, which is rooted in fear. Why am I feeling afraid?” I should read some Bible verses about fear and turn my worries over to God.

Another example is this: I had a fun day recently, laughing and receiving good news. As you can imagine, I was mostly feeling happy emotions. In some ways, reading the adjectives later helped me relish the joy all the more.

Interestingly, I rarely feel angry – I deal more with fear… while Lydia more easily identifies with anger – yet it comes and goes quickly! We both relate to happiness and sadness, but less often, disgust. It has been fun to see and hear her perspective, and I hope it is a way for us to continue communicating as she moves into middle school.

Another tool is a chart I found on Etsy. It came as a download or in the form of a pillowcase! It ranks feelings according to a spectrum of energy and positivity. Anger is an adverse reaction, and it uses a lot of emotional energy. The sad emotions are typically less positive and drain energy. Joy is positive and high energy, while calmness is positive and low energy.

This was insightful because I tend to feel lower energy levels, but now I wonder if it’s just my personality. As an introvert, I get excited sometimes, but overall, I enjoy calmness and a slower pace. In fact, this is a great strength, but the world moves more quickly. Thankfully, I am learning to interpret what’s going on a little better so I can plan ahead. If I have a big event ahead, I can pare down my schedule to conserve energy and implement some strategies for coping and recovery.

Of course, there is no right way or wrong way to feel. These are simply tools. Nonetheless, you can combine them with Scripture to tap into all God has for you!

While Satan wants us to stay stuck in our emotions, distracted and offended, Jesus wants us to live fully! (See John 10:10.) Instead of being ruled by our feelings, let’s use them to turn to God! Instead of running away from our emotions, let’s use them to run to God.

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God, thanks for giving us emotions to help us feel and understand Your goodness. Help us to honor You and manage them well. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Do you notice how your emotions change throughout the day? How does that affect your energy? What is your natural response to your feelings?
Tasks: For a fun challenge, use an emotion wheel to track how you feel during the day. Note any themes, pray about resolving any negativity, and keep moving forward!
Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Personality, Pivot, Prayer, Procrastination, Wisdom, Worship

Keep Moving Toward

On Sunday morning, Lydia and I were at church. The message was about healing and trusting God. Instead of physical healing, I was writing notes about some habits I am working to change. I know I need God’s help to make real progress and swap in better choices.

At the end of the sermon, our pastor asked people who needed healing to head to the aisle for prayer. Healing can be physical, mental, emotional, etc. I felt content that God met my need, so I didn’t move, but several other people did.

Soon, our pastor asked those people to raise their hands if they needed someone to pray with them. I hadn’t planned on praying for anyone, as many other people had volunteered.

Free Holding Hands Bible photo and picture

Well, then I noticed a woman in front of us raising her hand. She and her husband appeared to be supporting their daughter. I told Lydia to scoot over so I could go pray with this family. At the moment, I just wanted to meet the need in front of me. I have personally felt the impact of people praying for me at just the right time.

So, I don’t think Lydia quite understood what I meant. She just stood there while I was trying to pass by on my way to the aisle. After a little back and forth, I put my hands on her shoulders, somewhat forcefully set her aside, and said, “MOVE!! Get out of my way.”

I don’t usually need to use that tone with Lydia, and I did apologize later for hurting her feelings. She was a little upset at first, but I explained that I wanted to be obedient. I didn’t want to miss an opportunity for God to use me. So I needed to move toward the need and His calling.

Perhaps I was a little fired up because I felt like I had my own mini breakthrough with the Lord during the sermon. I had been kind of ho-hum about my habits, but since I was able to write a basic plan with the Lord’s help, I felt free. So when I said, “MOVE!! Get out of my way,” I was also speaking in spiritual terms. Whether it’s Satan’s craftiness or just my own reserve, I cannot afford to delay God’s plans in my life.

As a Christ follower, I am essentially on mission every day. Jesus is the King, and I serve Him. I should not be self-centered or self-seeking. I can’t let fear stop me. I am called to love others and be available at a moment’s notice to GO.

God constantly calls me to move toward the messy parts of life. Jesus certainly did, and He is my example! If I don’t sense Him at work, then I am likely in a comfort zone, which needs to dealt with ASAP. It’s only then that I can actually fix the problem, change, and grow.

In short, I can’t settle for less than God’s best. That includes healing and eternity, but it also means joining Him in His work now. I don’t want to miss out because I am hung up on worthless habit. Lord, help me!

I did not get a chance to talk with the family after the service, but the mother smiled at me in gratitude. I’m so glad I was able to lay aside my own feelings and plans to serve the Lord. Plus, it became a good teaching moment for Lydia.

Remember, as the Church, we are the hands and feet of Jesus. No habit, project, or personal goal compares with following Jesus and impacting others for Him. When life gets difficult, it’s tempting to run away or drag our feet, letting fear or procrastination become the default. But, dare I say: MOVE!! Get out of your own way!

But, RUN to Jesus, FIGHT to stay close to Him. Face the battle in front of you. Give it all you’ve got, knowing it’s really His strength and power working through you. If God is for you, who can be against you?!

We have to keep moving TOWARD to keep moving FORWARD.

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God, thanks for calling us to spread Your love and serve others. Renew my mind and transform me, Lord. Fill me with grace and compassion to see the needs around me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you running away from or running toward your challenges today? What habit or goal do you need to adjust in order to serve the Lord?

Task: MOVE!! Get out of the way!! Keep moving TOWARD so you can keep moving FORWARD! Read and ponder Romans 12:1-2 and Hebrews 12:1-2.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Personality, Procrastination, Wisdom, Worship

Last-Minute Blessing

Recently, I met with a new widow for coffee at church. She is an older woman, and I just happened to reach out to see how she was coping. As expected, she confirmed the first several weeks are like a train wreck. 

I only met her husband briefly, but they were married for over twenty years. He was a Veteran and will be buried with full honors at the Fargo National Cemetary. I hope to attend with Lydia if we are available that day.

We talked for about two hours as Lydia sat nearby and read a book. I asked questions and answered them. I looked up a phone number for her and really just listened. I hope she was as encouraged as I was!

I brought my friend a little artificial orchid, knowing it would be a blessing – and perhaps a bright spot when she is feeling down. I didn’t want her to have to remember to water it – like I did with my tomato plant all those years ago!

She mentioned two things that impacted me. She said God spoke to her heart at church that day in a powerful way; she said if I hadn’t invited her, she would still be at home. Whoa. I am so glad I listened!

Indeed, it was good to see my friend’s face light up with joy at the cute plant. I noticed her touching it from time to time during our conversation. She thanked me and said she knew the perfect spot for it at home!

I’m not sharing this to show you how amazing I am. Honestly, I almost left the orchid at home and brought a different plant. That’s because I wanted to keep the orchid for myself! 

It’s a little humbling to admit my selfishness, but I needed the reminder to be generous. I am so glad I listened to the Holy Spirit’s prompting. On my way out the door, I ran back inside to grab the orchid and put it in my purse. I decided I didn’t want to look at the orchid with regret, wishing I had given it away. It was a last-minute blessing, and I didn’t want to miss the opportunity!

In some ways, I wanted to be an example for Lydia to do the right thing. On our drive to church, we discussed how a fake little plant almost prevented me from showing Jesus’ love to someone who really needed it. Yes, I could probably find it again and buy it online, but it was a good lesson for us both!

We talked about how we are God’s ambassadors and represent Him. His love for others flows through us as we serve and give. God can take my little sacrifice and do something big with it. So, we shouldn’t hold back a blessing meant for someone else.

Sometimes, people ask God, “Why aren’t you using me?” But, I wonder how often we limit His work in our lives simply because we ignore His still, small voice. How can we expect Him to do something big or exciting if we aren’t obedient in the little things?

We don’t need to wrestle with being kind. We don’t need to question if God wants us to give. It is not a question of IF, but how or how much. We can certainly pray for wisdom but don’t doubt or procrastinate. We can afford to be generous and give what we have.

Indeed, God never gives us His second best or second rate. Jesus was the only option, and He was all in. Jesus gave His life for us, so we could live for Him.

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God, thanks for being so generous! Thanks for the opportunity to join You at work. Please help me be kind, generous, and gracious toward others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you trust that God can take your offering and multiply it?

Task: Don’t allow yourself to settle for second best. Always give your best to God!

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Pivot, Wisdom, Words

Easing Into the New Year

Ahh! Don’t you love the beginning of a new year?! 

We often see the ‘new year, new you’ types of posts, but this year, I have been pleasantly surprised to read more posts about starting small and just showing up. Small changes add up over time! It’s refreshing in a way because most New Year’s resolutions don’t stick.

Perhaps our goals aren’t well thought out, or we try to change too much. Setting small goals and re-evaluating them each week can be helpful to make sure you stay on track. You may have heard of ‘SMART goals’ which are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.

SMART goals are a practical way to keep moving forward. Here’s an example: At least four days this week, I will add 1 cup of vegetables to my lunch. Then, you can look back and know for sure if you have been successful. It’s low pressure, but you can adjust the goals as needed and have built-in accountability.

An excellent way to ease into the new year! Who knows… maybe you will be surprised!

Free photos of Winter

It’s only a few days into January, and Lydia and I have already had several weighty conversations! It’s normal to become more self-conscious in the pre-teen years, and Lydia has been asking great questions. It’s not easy, and I appreciate your prayers!

This week, we discussed the difference between being passive and proactive in what we watch, say, think, do, and feel. Being passive means we just let things happen, and being proactive means we look ahead and plan when possible; we direct our responses and position ourselves for success.

For example, it’s not our fault if someone swears in a movie we are watching, but we are responsible for whether or not we keep watching. And, we are accountable if we choose to use the bad language. 😉

Also, feeling upset sometimes is normal, but choosing to stay upset is our choice. If we react in anger or spread gossip, then we have to face the consequences of our actions.

Negative thoughts come and go, just like positive ones. We should acknowledge our emotions, but they don’t run the show! And if we don’t get ahold of them, they can become a stronghold. We need to uproot lies, fear, anger, and resentment!

Lydia and I have discussed how we can reject unhelpful thoughts or emotions by applying God’s Word and Truth. Lydia has been looking up Bible verses in context and summarizing them. Then, we discuss them and think of ways to apply them to her life and mine! Slowly, I see her becoming more confident and comfortable with her identity in Christ!

Free photos of Mountains

Like Lydia, it’s good to keep learning new things and changing. That’s called growth! 

Although, I’m grateful God doesn’t usually ask us to change everything all at once. The Holy Spirit does prompt us to change so we can be more like Jesus, but He is a gentleman. In my experience, however, He is persistent!

God might keep bringing up a topic on the radio, online, or in conversations with others. Or, He might prick your heart at inconvenient or uncomfortable times. It’s good to check in with Him daily and make sure we are listening.

This year, I don’t have any big goals or resolutions. I just want to be godly! I am making it a priority to tune my ears to the Holy Spirit. I want to make sure I am staying close to the Lord, as He helps me lead and guide Lydia through these next stages. There is a lot at stake, and we are relying on Him!

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God, thanks that we don’t have to prove ourselves or earn Your love. You accept us just as we are, yet love us to much to let us stay that way. Change us little by little, and help us stay close to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have any goals to start off this new year? How can you stay close to Jesus this week… and year?

Tasks: Remember to keep close to God, so He can direct your path! Write down one SMART goal for the week. Be ready to pivot, as needed. Don’t overthink it, and feel free to change it next week! 🙂

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Personality, Pivot, Prayer, Wisdom

Cozy and Thankful

Here in the Great North, wintry weather has come! It makes me just want to stay home and watch movies while drinking something warm. 🙂 Cozy!

Actually, this is the best winter weather in that we haven’t had much blowing or accumulation yet. We can still see around the street corners, and it’s all really beautiful!

Since I fell on the ice at home over the weekend, I called my chiropractor on Monday to see if I could get in for an adjustment. Her husband, also a chiropractor, answered the phone and explained she also fell and hurt herself even worse. I hit my head and elbow, but it seems she broke her elbow in two places! I decided could just wait until later in December to see if she is starting to see patients again. If you think of her, pray for Dr. Jenny.

Interestingly, one of my coworkers and a few of my patients also have fallen on the ice, too. We’ve all had similar ‘war wounds.’ Altogether, this has made me feel even more careful than usual… I’m ‘walking like a penguin’ just in case.

Free photos of Mirror

The evening drive after work has also been a little nerve-wracking. I am a good driver, but don’t necessarily enjoy driving… and I was feeling a little time-crunched at work. Yesterday, I started off slow, and it took about eleven extra minutes to get across town since a lot of other drivers were also being cautious. Probably wise!

I was praying and turned off the radio so I could focus. Then, I just started thanking God for keeping me safe and for helping us all to drive well. I also told Him how pretty the snow was and how I was thankful there was no wind. I was very grateful for my reliable Subaru with all-wheel-drive. While I missed seeing the sun, I was glad it wasn’t ‘blinding’ me while driving. There’s always something to be thankful for!

Talking with God calmed me down! Now sometimes, I do complain, but yesterday, I was getting rid of other distractions in order to pay attention. It made a huge difference in my attitude and my driving!

Instead of being stressed when I picked up Lydia, I was calm. I’m sure she appreciated that too! I stopped to get some gas, and then we were home-free. Thanks, Lord!

With a new perspective, I was able to enjoy dinner with Lydia, write my blog post, exercise, and catch up on Season 2 of The Chosen before watching the first two episodes of Season 3 this coming weekend in the theater! It’s good to be cozy and thankful! 😉

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God, thanks for your grace and protection. Help me be wise and listen; help me know when to be bold and when to be cautious. My confidence is in You alone. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your favorite part about winter weather? What are you thankful for?

Task: Please pray for my chiropractor, and also tell God what you are thankful for!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Food and Nutrition, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

Sweet Relief

This week, I had a simple medical test/procedure. It was fairly straightforward and, as such, almost not worth mentioning. But, I wanted to share a little of my experience in case it benefits someone else… 

In short, I have had mild gut issues over many years. I had similar issues as a kid, in college, and before/after Dave died from colon cancer. I don’t know if my symptoms are related to internalizing stress or my Hashimoto’s thyroid disease, an autoimmune disease I have had for twenty-five years.

Indeed, I mentioned my concerns to my doctor after Dave’s funeral, but then talked myself out of further testing when she offered it. I was really emotional at the time and didn’t want deal with it. I don’t recommend that avoidant approach, however!

Earlier this year, I got my back in better shape and realized my gut could also use some help. I had gotten so used to the discomfort that I just assumed it was normal.

To clarify, my symptoms are somewhat normal… no overt signs of disease. But, some people are just more sensitive than others, and I tend to have gut discomfort when others don’t (even when we eat the same foods). The gut is known as the ‘second brain,’ so when it is not functioning correctly, it can impact quite a lot of other things!

Free photos of Manzana

Well, this year, I again spoke up at my annual physical in May. This time, I requested a referral to gastroenterology. I appreciated that both of the providers listened to my concerns, though I was still a little nervous.

In June, we decided to do some more testing, which occurred this week. The prep was less than glamorous, but the results were “pretty darn good” to quote the doctor running the test! 🙂

Leading up to the test, I kept my focus on Jesus and took on His peace, which is freely given. He is the Source of my life and strength, so it is always wise to trust Him.

On the day of the test, everyone was extremely friendly and helpful. They were so kind and knowledgeable that it put my mind at ease. I was able to relax and go with the flow. It was a much different feeling than when I waited for Dave’s test results all those years ago.

When the doctor introduced herself, she agreed it was good to get tested since autoimmune diseases can often run together. I briefly mentioned my concerns, especially since Dave had zero symptoms at his colon cancer diagnosis. (Mine was a test to rule out a wide variety of potential illnesses!) She was so compassionate, and I was glad I chose her to do the test!

Free photos of Fruit

I still have those mild symptoms – and a follow-up for potential next steps – but ALL my results came back clear! I don’t have celiac disease, Crohn’s disease, an ulcer, micro-colitis, diverticulosis, H Pylori, cancer, or anything else. Whew, I am so relieved!! It is still possible to get a generic diagnosis (like IBS or a food intolerance), but I can’t self-diagnose those things. Thankfully, we ruled out all the major red flags!

My hunch has been that it just will come down to paying more attention to my food choices and how they affect me. I already do this to some degree; as a Registered Dietitian, it’s right up my alley. Fiber and water are key! But, even though I eat well and enjoy most foods, my gut may think differently.  😉

Other good strategies will include ongoing stress management to lower chronic inflammation; continuing my exercise routine, so my gut runs well; and getting adequate sleep to restore my system each night. This is easier said than done, but I am committed to doing the work it takes to feel good consistently.

Professionally, I always tell my patients: “You are your best advocate, and you know your body best.” Today, I am thankful I was brave, despite my earlier fear. I am glad I advocated for myself, and I am grateful for the good results. We only get one body, and we have the privilege of caring for it, as a Temple.

All in all, I wanted to praise God and to share a little— but not too much– with you about my health journey (a.k.a. my Forty-Year Tune-Up)! Also, I want to give a shout-out to the three women doctors and their staff who have helped me.

Thank you for reading and celebrating with me!

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God, You are so gracious and merciful!! Thanks for protecting me and giving me peace of mind. May I continue to make healthy choices that honor You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What part of this post resonated with you? Do you need to advocate for yourself or someone else?

Tasks: Listen to “The Healing“ by Blanca and Dante Bowe. Sing out your praises to God! He is Jehovah-Rapha, the God Who Heals.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

Comfort Amid Grief

Sometimes you are in the right place at the right time, and sometimes, that place is church! This past Sunday, I had a God moment at church that I want to share with you.

About a year ago, I met a woman and her husband. They had been watching online through much of COVID, but I met them the first Sunday they decided to “try out” our church in person.

They were really sweet, and I was glad to meet them. Flash forward to the present, and the husband’s dementia has progressed. He is now in a nursing home, about an hour and a half away. His dear wife visits him every other day, though he does not fully recognize her.

I have encouraged this wife whenever I see her; she has become a friend. Though my experience was with cancer, I know how it feels to be a caregiver and decision maker in an end-of-life situation. Watching your beloved spouse decline is difficult, and I have been cheering her on.

So, when I saw this lady on Sunday, I stopped to greet her after the service. She was so happy to see me and shared how she had been struggling. I affirmed her statement that she is already grieving, though her husband is still alive. I agreed with her sentiment that she hopes he “goes soon” rather than have this continue over months or years. (Either way, we know he is in God’s hands and that his suffering is not in vain.)

I listened while my friend conveyed her lack of motivation. In these challenging times, I confirmed it is normal to need to get groceries but feel overwhelmed leaving the house; or, to finally prepare a meal but have no desire to eat it.

She mentioned she keeps forgetting about a support group at the VA (where I work), and I coached her with some tips. Marking her calendar in advance, while she is thinking about it, might help her not feel surprised whenever she gets a same-day reminder.

I also offered to help connect her with someone at the VA who could help guide her through the funeral and cemetery details (when the time comes). As she talked it through, she started to smile, and I could see her burden was lifted a little.

I gave this dear woman a big hug, and she just fell into my arms. I prayed for her on the spot, and she just melted in surrender. Not that my words were so deep, in fact, they were rather simple, but she felt seen and understood. She said it was just what she needed.

We only talked for a few minutes after the service, but it felt like a God-ordained moment for both of us. I am grateful He has used my story and experiences to help and guide others along the way.

I was reminded that we don’t JUST go to church to worship God but to be His hands and feet. My friend said, “And to think, I wasn’t even feeling up to coming today. I was going to stay home and watch online. But now, I am so glad I came.”

2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT, says that God “comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

During the well-timed sermon, our pastor mentioned this all is like a game of tag. God comforts us…and then it’s our turn to comfort others with the peace, strength, and grace He has given us. Tag! You’re it!

So, don’t discount your story or experiences. God can use all your pain, grief, and life’s ups and downs to make something beautiful… if you let Him!

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God, thanks for my friend. Would You please encourage, strengthen, and comfort her? Please meet her needs (spoken and unspoken) and remind her of Your grace and love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you seen God at work in your life story? Have you seen Him use your pain and grief in someone else’s life?

Task: Listen to this song! God will never fail you, no matter what.