Preparing for Persecution

I woke up thinking about a solemn topic yesterday, Christian martyrdom. I have been praying and thinking about the several international cities in flames due to riots. These dangerous situations are mostly politically and religiously motivated, yet they are nothing new. Persecution and violence happen every year around the world. While American Christians are sometimes mocked, we generally are not hunted down and attacked!

John Bunyan, the Puritanical preacher who wrote Pilgrim’s Progress, was imprisoned for preaching God’s word without “permission” for about twelve years! In fact, most of his writings were done while he was locked up! Similarly, I was recently reminded of the 21 Coptic Christians beheaded for their faith by ISIS members in 2015. And, I often think of Christians being killed in Africa or the those imprisoned and tortured in the underground churches in Asia… not to mention those in the Middle East.

So, one of the first thoughts in my mind yesterday was this: If a gun or ax was held to my head and I was asked to deny my faith, what would my reaction be? I pray that I would stand firm for Jesus, but it is easy to cave into fear. It makes me a little sick to think about the possibility. Hopefully, it will never happen and I am not trying to be dramatic… But in any case, I like to visualize what I would do and work through it well in advance. As I read Revelation, monitor the news, and pray for our upcoming elections, I know now is the time to prepare.

Generally, my focus is to write about God’s abundant grace in my life and show how He is making lemonade from all the chaos life brings. But when push comes to shove, every moment and decision counts. How I use my time and words each day matters.

Do I scroll on social media or do I read about heroes of the faith? Do I yell at Lydia to do the dishes, or do I talk with her about godly priorities? Do I pray for what I want, or do I persevere in prayer for the persecuted brothers and sisters around the world?

Last week, I had a conversation about reading the Bible. It seemed the people I was talking with had known God for quite awhile but were relatively new to reading the Bible, or at least they were not very proficient. One person said she was content with one simple Bible verse on a plaque that she received as a gift years ago. She did not want to move past that one simple verse, so I challenged her to find similar verses in the Bible to give her better understanding! Read the history, read the Psalms, read the Gospels, read the epistles, just read!!

We cannot survive on random Bible verses. How can we expect to know God or stand in our faith when trials come? We must dig deeper to find Truth, as one day, our very lives might depend on it. As we spend time with God in the Bible, the Holy Spirit will teach us and help us grow in faith. And, He will bring those verses to mind when we need them.

Jesus is the soon returning King; knowing Him personally, through prayer and reading His Word is vital. That is the only way we won’t be deceived in the future. Presently, we also can speak up on important topics, be kind and generous to those who need it, and exercise our right to vote for God-honoring policies and freedoms. Imagine if American Christians would actually vote in each election!

Ultimately, I know I don’t have to worry. I must take each day as it comes but look toward for the future. While I can’t always plan ahead, I am not helpless. Jesus is my Victory! The best thing I can do is to stay close to Jesus, reading His word, pouring out my heart to Him, and listening for His Voice. He is faithful to care for me and all my concerns! He is my hiding place!

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God, thank You for being my Protector. Help me stand firm in my faith and represent You well. Give me wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When trials come, how do you handle them? Do whine and complain about the difficulty, or do resolve to never give up? Do you back down and cower in fear, or do you boldly rise up and move forward with Jesus?

Task: Check out this website and pray for the persecuted Church around the world!

Finding Grace #551

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

It was a good week overall! Lydia stayed home sick on Monday and still is recovering, but overall doing better. I was able to come home early and that was also good for me.

Work was busy but somehow I stayed on top of my charting. God was so gracious to help me since I wasn’t feeling the best either. Still, I made the best of it and enjoyed my patients.

Thursday night was Alpha at church. We talked about why Jesus had to die (the topic for the week). It was a great conversation, and I am enjoying my group.

This weekend, my mother-in-law is visiting, so we are having a lot of fun. We went to a yoga class and then a movie. We also did a little thrift shopping and have had a lot of fun catching up. I’m enjoying the much needed R&R. I’m sure we will have more adventures tomorrow!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Kindness and Gratitude

I have a lot going on in my heart this week. Mostly gratitude, and a little exhaustion, but I am also in awe as I watch God move on my behalf.

Lydia was sick from Friday to Monday and I had to miss some work on those days. I was glad I could take time off and that my team could cover for me. She is feeling somewhat better now and has some medications which are helping her make it through the school day! Thanks, Lord, for taking good care of us both!

I haven’t been feeling the greatest over the last week either. Not one particular issue other than not sleeping well. I am mostly just feeling a little depleted. In part, I think it is related to subtle seasonal shifts. As the weather changes and the days get shorter, it takes a toll on our bodies! I have been trying to go to bed early and get up early do my normal routine. God has been faithful to infuse me with His strength and energy!

This is a busy time of year at work and school anyway. So, maybe I am just anticipating the craziness before it comes. Like I have said before, just adding one activity can throw off my routine… and this week there are several extras. They are all good things, but just add up. God, help me prioritize my time and show Your goodness to others.

On Saturday, when Lydia was sick and I was on-call, my coworker texted to check on Lydia and see if I needed help with work. I was able to take care of the patient, but that kindness meant a lot.

On Sunday, I took Lydia to the walk-in clinic and CVS for meds. I tried to get ahead for the week though I was tired, too. It is a challenge to relax when there is more that needs to be done. But, the Lord is good and faithful to help me!

Because I only worked half the day on Monday so I could be with Lydia, I was able to quickly mow the lawn knowing I wouldn’t be available the rest of the week. It was as if the Lord overrode my schedule and helped me make the best of the situation.

Yesterday, Lydia and I both had dentist appointments. Mine was a little surprising! With my MARPE, I have been extra diligent to Waterpik, brush, floss, etc. Still, the lady cleaning my teeth noticed some staining in back. She did not not let me feel embarrassed and assured me this was by no means the worse she’d ever seen. She did a very good job of removing the stains and recommend I avoid my colored mouthwash since one of the ingredients could be the culprit! She was kind, gracious, and professional. That stands out to me. I don’t love having people work in my mouth, but I hope I get her again next time!

Lately, I’ve been taking a few moments to assess how I am doing physically and emotionally. I am not sick, just not 100%, and I am trying to find little ways to rest and feel my best. This season is difficult, but I knew it would be. I’ve noticed that a little kindness and gratitude go a long way, and God is sustaining me. So, while my body is a little depleted, my heart is full.

Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for taking such good care of me! When I am running low on energy, You are my strength and joy. When I need more time, You take care of my schedule. Help me do my best so You receive the glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When you want to rest but still need to get things done, how do you handle the stress? Do you find it easy to rest in the Lord, or do you battle it out and struggle on your own?

Task: Review your to-do list and remove whatever is not needed today. Remember to pray and trust God, but also breathe, drink some water, stretch, and go to bed on time. Lean on the Lord, and He will sustain you!

Talking to Myself

Confession: I tend to run imaginary conversations between myself and people I know. Do you do that, sort of play both sides of a conversation?! I believe it is called self-talk and is part of emotional regulation. I may replay a funny scenario or practice a speech. If I am upset, I may think I am right and the other person is wrong… and tell them all the reasons why. LOL, that may be the only time I win the argument!

Lately, though, I have had more angry conversations (in my mind) with people who annoy me or who are far from Jesus. One person I know is making poor life decisions without considering the consequences; one has a hard heart towards Jesus; and another is basically a zealous conspiracy theorist. In real life, I try to separate myself from them when I can since they are difficult to be around. But, in my imagination, I can “give them a piece of my mind” and tell them “everything they are doing wrong.” Yikes!

Maybe I am just weird, but I think it is fairly healthy to ‘hash it out’ in my mind’s eye. This saves me from not ruining the actual relationship or saying something I can’t take back. And maybe, on some level, it helps me rehearse better things to say if I ever have the chance. Though, at this point, it is probably better if I stay silent!

Still, I have to constantly check my heart and hold it up against God’s holiness. In doing so, I see my negativity and sin is no better than the others’ around me. Thus, I have had to catch myself and turn all these emotions over to the Lord. I have asked Him to forgive me my critical spirit, poor attitude, judgmental thoughts, and overall pride. I greatly need God’s mercy and grace and want to extend them to others.

I have also had a lot of worship songs on repeat in my heart and mind. “Change my heart, O God” is one of them. When I open my heart to the Lord, I am fully aware of how I fall short of His glory. I could feel like a failure but there is no condemnation for those of us who know Jesus personally. He even died for all the ugly stuff evident when I “talk to myself.”

As I draw closer to the Lord, He refines me and changes me to be more like Him. He shows me when to be silent and when to speak. Jesus is the ultimate Judge and His timing is best. While He does the heavy work, I also have the responsibility to pray, fast, set a good example, and put forth His perfect agenda and Truth.

2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” I must prioritize Jesus ways, and not let myself get in the way.

Indeed, we must let the Lord work in our hearts and minds, if we are to honor Him in all we do and lead with love. While I’ll still probably keep talking to myself, I want to make sure to talk to the matchless God of the Universe about these things, too. He loves me and fully understands my concerns. But I need to stay in step with Him and trust Him!

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Heavenly Father, I’m sorry for my poor attitude. Thanks for your forgiveness and for changing me from the inside out. Don’t let me miss out on all the good things You have in store for me! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you handle ugly emotions toward others or about life in general? What is your next step after reading this today?

Task: Next time you notice you have a bad attitude, stop and check it. Bring it to Jesus and humbly submit it to Him. Let Him show you what to do about it! Also, don’t overlook the power of prayer and fasting for these difficult issues.

Don’t Let Your Love Grow Cold

A man once asked me, which is worse, ignorance or apathy? I told him, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.” (Get it?!) 😉

According to dictionary.com, apathy is defined as, the “absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.” Or, the “lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.”

Spiritual apathy is a risky place to be. I have found myself there from time to time. It’s good to be challenged, but prolonged unpredictability and discomfort can deplete us. And, with the state of the world, that is, crazy politics, controversial religious issues, and evil around every corner, it is easy to stop caring and focus instead on ourselves. But, we cannot let our love grow cold.

There are many things in our lives that can lead to spiritual apathy. Here are four.

First, apathy can be a byproduct of unconfessed sin or feelings of guilt. Sin and guilt can lead us to separate ourselves from God. We feel judged or condemned, and eventually may not care to draw near to God due to bitterness or resentment. He is holy, just and righteous, but also full of love, mercy and grace. The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin and selfishness, but He never shames us. Read Romans 5:1-11 and then ask for the forgiveness (available only through Jesus) and be reconciled to God!

Second, we grow apathetic when we compare ourselves with others. We notice our lack and see how it stacks up with someone else’s skills or abundance. Remember, we are all uniquely made and individually called. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s masterpiece, and He created us for good works long before we ever came to be (my summary). He doesn’t make junk!

Third, we may be dealing with defeat, discouragement, or disappointment in God. Maybe He didn’t do what you thought He should and you feel let down. Well, I understand, but in my experience, the issue is that my faulty expectations of God do not match the actual reality of His sovereignty. He is in full control, even when we don’t like it or don’t understand.

As my dad says, “We don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.” So, rest assured, if the Father calls you His child, He will take care of you. Bring all your hurts, questions, and doubts to Jesus. He can handle them and give you peace, if you let Him!

And fourth, apathy can be related to exhaustion or burnout from doing too much. This may include saying yes to too many things, or saying yes to the wrong things. If you are “Still Trying To Run the Entire Solar System,” it’s no wonder you are dealing with STRESS. Indeed, exhaustion comes in several forms: spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, social, creative, and sensory. When your tank is empty, at least one of them needs to be addressed! Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith has some good resources on rest and restoration here. Let the Holy Spirit guide you to the giving your best yes.

Finally, we must guard against apathy and let the Lord replenish us. I will talk more about that next week, but for now, take some time to reflect on how well you are loving others. If you “just don’t care,” consider that a sign that you need to take a break and come to Jesus!

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Heavenly Father, thanks that we don’t have to be in control of our lives. Instead, we can rest in knowing You are sovereign and will lead us where we need to be. Help us wait on Your timing and stay in step with You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you recognize apathy in your life? What has made you turn the corner toward caring again?

Task: Take this free quiz to help you identify where you need to rest.

On Parenting Yourself

This week, I met with a patient for some of her chronic conditions. We have worked together for a few years, and she has slowly lowered her barriers to changing her eating habits. She is a Christian, and I see God working in her life to make her more like Jesus! Still, that doesn’t mean her challenges or post-traumatic stress are any easier.

She told me she has learned she sometimes has to ‘parent herself.’ She can have emotions like those of a little child, but as an adult, she realized she still has a certain level of responsibility. She said, “I can want to eat a pan of brownies when I am upset, but I have the responsibility to eat a balanced diet instead.”

She told me the formula she uses, in essence: “It is okay to feel something (insert an emotion), but I am still responsible for (fill in the action). I was so proud of her coming to this conclusion! She is more capable than she realizes, and I hope she keeps growing in that direction.

Soon, I started to think about how I could apply these “reparenting” principles in my own life. I don’t need to make huge changes, as I feel pretty confident in who I am and what I do. (I had great parents who kept us accountable!!)

Now I have always been very responsible when it comes to other people’s expectations. In fact, my first grade teacher wrote on my year-end report card that I was “very diligent,” and I still think about that today. Nonetheless, there are certainly days when I fail to meet my own goals. I know I am not the only one! 😉

Here are some examples I came up with! Feel free to adapt these for your own needs!

Financially, I can envision this working well. “I may want a new _________, but I have the responsibility to pay my bills on time and buy Lydia school supplies. So, I can be patient and save up for it.” Even just repeating the logic out loud could be a life changer for some people!

Physically, I thought of two situations related to rest and action. (Sleep)”I feel like watching another episode of this show, but I have the responsibility of getting up early for work tomorrow. So, I will push pause and go to bed now.” (Exercise) “I don’t feel like exercising today; I’m tired and don’t want to go jogging. But I have the responsibility to care for my body as a temple, so I will go for five or ten minutes.” Just keep it simple and listen to your body when it needs rest or movement!

Mentally,  we are called to renew our minds and to take every thought captive. So, if you are stewing on something, thinking about perceived injustices or revenge, STOP. Catch those thoughts, present them to Jesus, check them for Truth or lies, and change them. Think on these things instead!

Spiritually, sometimes we don’t feel like worshipping the Lord, praying, or reading our Bibles. Instead of skipping time with Jesus, we can just tell Him how we feel. He really wants our hearts, after all. “Lord, I don’t feel like sitting here with You, but You are so much better than anything else I can imagine. I want to know You more, so help me find delight in You, Lord.” Amen

Remember, God’s Holy Spirit works in us to make us more like Jesus. We can’t do anything to save ourselves or earn His favor. We already have it because of Jesus! Still, as the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, we must put away childish things and grow into Christ. It’s worth challenging our emotions from time to time and pushing ourselves a little bit!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for working in us and calling us higher! Continue to refine us so we can show others Your love and character. May we come to you expectantly and unhindered. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is one area in your life that you can apply the basic formula above? How can the Lord help you through that challenge?

Task: You can read a little more about the concept of reparenting here. Regardless of your thoughts on it, it is still important to set good boundaries and regulate our emotions.

The Ripple Effect

On Monday, I came home from work to find about three cabinets’ worth of stuff on the kitchen counters. I was a little surprised, but Lydia was so excited. She proudly showed off her ideas for rearranging the spices, coffee, pasta, and baking items that are in those cabinets. She even had made some tentative labels with sticky notes. 🙂

My first thought was, “Oh, great… here we go. All wanted was to eat supper!” I made a few executive decisions. “Let’s leave the coffee alone because I want it near the sink and coffee maker.” But I also listened to Lydia explain she wanted to move the vanilla and maple syrup closer to the baking soda and baking powder. I agreed, and we worked on a few other decisions.

Then I suggested we take a break to eat, which let me gather my thoughts before I got too hangry. Once my stomach was happy, I realized I had indeed told Lydia she could help me with this project. I didn’t want to do it at all due to timing decision paralysis. I kept putting it off, procrastinating. So I was grateful for the help.

We ended up tossing some old spices and regrouping others. It turned out to be really helpful, and it opened up some space for some random items sitting on the kitchen counters. We made plans to tackle that this week when I have some time off work.

This was a good example of ‘the ripple effect,’ or how one decision impacts other events or choices.  One kind word or one generous act can make all the difference. I heard something about this recently, which reminded me of how God can turn all things into something good – for His glory and on our behalf (see Romans 8:28). It doesn’t mean all things are good, but that God is working them out. The ripple effect seems to be God’s specialty!

In my case, it was thankfully not too complicated. Lydia cheerfully challenged the status quo, and that prompted us to make some changes. It will feel good to update our storage and for everything to have a place again!

Then, yesterday, I had an unexpected phone call from a patient. She thought she missed her appointment, but it’s not until next month. Still, we were able to talk for a while, and it turned out to be a good thing. She has cancer and some personal challenges because of it. I answered her questions and put her mind at ease. But, more importantly, I was able to help her see the bigger picture: that all hope is not lost.

From our conversation, I could glimpse the ripple effect. By God’s grace, during our phone call, I was able to support and encourage her. I pray she will make healthier choices. Perhaps her new plan and sense of peace will translate to a better outcome for her, too. I can’t wait to talk with her in a few weeks!

Some people would say that all things are connected. I choose to give God credit, but even if someone else doesn’t, He still oversees everything and reigns over it all. His decisions carry the most weight, but we get to take a part in what happens. On a personal level, our choices today set us up for the future, and they can also influence others people. It can feel like a lot of responsibility, but I am grateful for Jesus’ help! In His Name, we can “spur one another on toward love and good deeds!”

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Heavenly Father, You are sovereign and good. Thanks for Your help and favor. Help me choose well and be a blessing for others. Draw us close to You, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are your thoughts on the ripple effect in your life? Where do you see God working right now?

Task: Prayerfully consider your day and see how everything is connected. Ask the Lord to help you make choices that positively impact others.

Finding Grace #537

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week overall. I accomplished quite a bit! Namely, I finished up the insurance updates, which were something I had been meaning to do for a long time! I am grateful I had part of the day off on Tuesday!

I had a meeting about a potential project, but then I learned it was not meant to be. I was disappointed and felt overlooked. But I realized I could possibly still do it on my own. I have some praying to do!

Friday was Juneteenth. I had off work, and we were going to take a day trip. However, I woke up not feeling very well, so we just relaxed instead. We talked about knowing when to get up and go versus taking care of ourselves. The weather was rainy on and off, so it worked out anyway.

Today, I had to work four hours covering inpatient duties. I prayed, and it was an easier day. I was so grateful! I came home to cook and do my Saturday things. Later, Lydia and I went for a drive and explored a bit before coming home to mow and watch a movie.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Helping or Hindering?

On Monday, I was teaching a class, the fifth in a series on healthy lifestyle changes. Now, Veterans are at a higher risk of essentially any illness or chronic condition you can think of compared to the general population. This includes financial concerns, relationship problems, PTSD, drug abuse, alcoholism, and homelessness.

Many of the Veterans in my class were struggling with a variety of issues. Sadly, that is to be expected on some level. But the class was meant to introduce some action steps to address some of the health issues and perhaps ease their mental and emotional concerns as well. We talked about nutrition, stress management, sleep, exercise, resiliency, gratitude, etc.

What struck me was that even as the class ended, many of the people were still stuck in the past. One person would ask a question or share an experience, then others would chime in and commiserate. There were some tears and some laughter, and I think it was a good thing overall. However, some of the people almost worked themselves up as a result.

It was as if they couldn’t let themselves rest or relax. I know hypervigilance is common and can be difficult to change, yet letting go of what we cannot control (past, present, and future) is vital. In Romans 12, we are called to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I wanted to share that Jesus calls us to bring our burdens to Him, but that wasn’t really the scope of the class. Instead, I sprinkled tidbits of faith here and there. 

I did not feel called to share my story, but I did explain that we all have past hardships, trauma, or grief. No one is immune. But we must check our words and even our thoughts in order to keep moving forward.

Several people made up their minds to try new things, but I’m curious how many of them will let go of their anxiety and worry, understanding that we don’t “have to” live in fear. I will be praying for the class that they might take a step of faith and trust Jesus. I’ll pray they realize how much God loves them and wants to give them His joy and peace.

Our stories — and how we tell them — are powerful. We can rehash all the old hurts and fears, or we can let the Lord redeem them and make something beautiful out of our darkest moments. It’s never easy, but it is our choice to make.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for setting us free from all our burdens – sin, shame, sickness – so we don’t have to stay stuck. Help us walk in that freedom and grace. Keep us close to You, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are the stories you are telling yourself (or others) helping or hindering your healing? What’s one step you can take to keep moving forward?

Task: Write down a few key turning points in your life story, whether joyful or painful. Then, rewrite them using God’s perspective – see the story through the lens of Jesus and how He may want to use it for His glory and your good.

Finding Grace #527

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a pretty quiet week!

At work, I covered the inpatient hospital all week, so I didn’t see as many of my usual outpatient Veterans. It was less busy than I expected, thankfully! The hospitalized patients were not as complicated as I have seen, and it helped to have several days in a row so I could anticipate their needs.

Lydia had a POTS flare-up this week and came home early from school on Wednesday. She made it to school on Thursday and Friday, but came straight home afterward to rest. to two healthcare appointments. She skipped Speech practices and also her final Speech event today because she felt so depleted. Her energy is a little better tonight, but I am glad we decided to have her stay home and rest today.

With Lydia under the weather, I kept my schedule pretty open in the evenings so I could be available for her. When she feels so weak, I like to stick around to help get anything she might need. We talked again about knowing when to push ourselves and when to rest and relax. A good lesson for us both!

Today, I did some reading and studying. Otherwise, I made some calls and mostly just relaxed! I enjoyed hearing the birds chirp and watching it drizzle a bit as the grass grows greener. God is good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!