This week, I met with a patient for some of her chronic conditions. We have worked together for a few years, and she has slowly lowered her barriers to changing her eating habits. She is a Christian, and I see God working in her life to make her more like Jesus! Still, that doesn’t mean her challenges or post-traumatic stress are any easier.

She told me she has learned she sometimes has to ‘parent herself.’ She can have emotions like those of a little child, but as an adult, she realized she still has a certain level of responsibility. She said, “I can want to eat a pan of brownies when I am upset, but I have the responsibility to eat a balanced diet instead.”

She told me the formula she uses, in essence: “It is okay to feel something (insert an emotion), but I am still responsible for (fill in the action). I was so proud of her coming to this conclusion! She is more capable than she realizes, and I hope she keeps growing in that direction.

Soon, I started to think about how I could apply these “reparenting” principles in my own life. I don’t need to make huge changes, as I feel pretty confident in who I am and what I do. (I had great parents who kept us accountable!!)

Now I have always been very responsible when it comes to other people’s expectations. In fact, my first grade teacher wrote on my year-end report card that I was “very diligent,” and I still think about that today. Nonetheless, there are certainly days when I fail to meet my own goals. I know I am not the only one! 😉

Here are some examples I came up with! Feel free to adapt these for your own needs!

Financially, I can envision this working well. “I may want a new _________, but I have the responsibility to pay my bills on time and buy Lydia school supplies. So, I can be patient and save up for it.” Even just repeating the logic out loud could be a life changer for some people!

Physically, I thought of two situations related to rest and action. (Sleep)”I feel like watching another episode of this show, but I have the responsibility of getting up early for work tomorrow. So, I will push pause and go to bed now.” (Exercise) “I don’t feel like exercising today; I’m tired and don’t want to go jogging. But I have the responsibility to care for my body as a temple, so I will go for five or ten minutes.” Just keep it simple and listen to your body when it needs rest or movement!

Mentally,  we are called to renew our minds and to take every thought captive. So, if you are stewing on something, thinking about perceived injustices or revenge, STOP. Catch those thoughts, present them to Jesus, check them for Truth or lies, and change them. Think on these things instead!

Spiritually, sometimes we don’t feel like worshipping the Lord, praying, or reading our Bibles. Instead of skipping time with Jesus, we can just tell Him how we feel. He really wants our hearts, after all. “Lord, I don’t feel like sitting here with You, but You are so much better than anything else I can imagine. I want to know You more, so help me find delight in You, Lord.” Amen

Remember, God’s Holy Spirit works in us to make us more like Jesus. We can’t do anything to save ourselves or earn His favor. We already have it because of Jesus! Still, as the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, we must put away childish things and grow into Christ. It’s worth challenging our emotions from time to time and pushing ourselves a little bit!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for working in us and calling us higher! Continue to refine us so we can show others Your love and character. May we come to you expectantly and unhindered. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is one area in your life that you can apply the basic formula above? How can the Lord help you through that challenge?

Task: You can read a little more about the concept of reparenting here. Regardless of your thoughts on it, it is still important to set good boundaries and regulate our emotions.