The Gift of Time

Yesterday, I ran into a coworker on the way out of my building. Someone in her family died last year, and she is still grieving the loss. I don’t see her often, but I try to smile and encourage her whenever I can.

I briefly asked her how she was doing, and she thanked me for asking. We talked about it for a few minutes, and I hugged her before I left to go home.

While God can come through for us in an instant, it seems He often makes us walk through our difficulties. Why is that? Why doesn’t He just swoop in and save the day?

When we don’t see answers to prayer, it can feel like God isn’t listening or He doesn’t care. Or in certain cases, when we don’t see God at work to solve our problems, maybe it seems He has abandoned us. Honestly, I felt all of these things when my husband was sick. 

Thankfully, our feelings do not dictate reality. God never leaves us nor forsakes us! And, if you are feeling lost or alone or helpless, you are perfectly positioned to receive His grace.

With our limited human perspective, there’s no way we can understand God’s purposes or plan. Often, we don’t know all that’s going on behind the scenes, how God is orchestrating it for our good and His glory. But that doesn’t mean He isn’t working.

That’s why we need to come to Him, to gain understanding from His viewpoint.

God’s love never fails. As we work through our emotions and other challenges, God holds us and helps us. He is right there with us each step of the way. If you don’t feel Him, just reach out. Worship God! Call upon the Lord!

Also, remember that all of this takes time. Processing grief takes time. Growth takes time. Even forgiveness takes time. Discerning how to moving forward can take time, too.

Sometimes, it seems like time stretches on forever, with no relief in sight. I understand. There were times when I questioned if I would ever feel like myself again!

But there is purpose in waiting, too. If we wait on the Lord expectantly and bring all our concerns to Him, He will redeem our pain and make something beautiful in His time.

I have learned that time itself is a gift. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so let’s make the most of the time we do have. Slow progress is still progress!

And by walking slowly with Jesus, He will point out what we need to know along the way.  For example, if we rush through and skip the grieving process (if that’s even possible), think about all we might miss.

Personally, I would have missed out on seeing God’s sweet and refreshing grace.

So yes, take time to grieve well. Take time for who and what you love. Spend time with Jesus.

As we learn to cope in healthy ways, we can pass on what we’ve learned to help other people. Hope. Healing. Love. Joy. Peace. Grace.

As we share our stories and resources, we all grow and become stronger together. And, by extending grace to others, we notice more of it in our lives as well.

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Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of time. Thanks for walking with us each step of the way. When so much time passes and we don’t see resolution or restoration, help us trust in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: If you had immeasurable time, what would you do? Would you try to “fix” your problems or try something new or help someone?

Tasks: Since none of us has immeasurable time, we must use what we have wisely. Go ahead and take the leap! Trust God and see what happens!

Finding Grace #203

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was rather low-key, but I am glad for that because I was able to focus on a big project. This week, I had some great moments of worshiping the Lord. And, there were plenty of other fun blessings along the way!

I appreciate Lydia’s current interest in cooking and helping around the house. She selected a healthy recipe all on her own, and we made it together. Later, I went to the store, for fun, and I “surprised” her very own cans of kidney beans, raisins, and dried cranberries. Lydia was so excited! She said they are her favorite, so who am I to disappoint?! I’m glad she is learning to be content.

The ladies in my small group Bible study came over this week. Only two ladies could come, but we still had a wonderful time together. We discussed our Bible reading plan and challenged each other to draw near to the Lord. It was such a sweet time of fellowship and prayer, made sweeter by an apple crisp my neighbor gave me! Thank you!

I had fun catching up with my parents and sister this week. My mom sent me a beautiful green Kate Spade purse, which reminds me of spring! I have already received compliments on it. In turn, I sent a box of items to bless my sister. Also, my dad finally received his birthday present from Lydia and me. His birthday is in December, but the socks I ordered for him (with Lydia’s face) took forever to arrive! In fact, he still has something else on the way. Hopefully, it comes soon!

When I was at the store earlier in the week, I was meandering through the floral department looking for anything that caught my eye. I didn’t buy any flowers that day, but I did see a cute little yellow bird! As you can see in the picture above, it is so cheery and bright! I didn’t see any others, but it felt like a personal blessing from God!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

I Will Call Upon the Lord!

We all face many distractions every day. That’s nothing new! But if we’re not careful, one distraction leads to another and another. Before long, we are completely off track.

Recently I noticed a little trail of personal distractions. I was getting ready for my day but answered a text on my phone. From there, a social media article led to a funny meme, and then a short video. Thankfully, I took control of myself before I was late for a meeting!

Here is how I switched gears so quickly: I started singing a random worship song! First, just the same phrase over and over because I didn’t have a song in mind ready to go. The lyrics just burst out!

But, then lyrics from other songs came to me, too. I noticed it was effective, and so I just kept singing God’s praises. It was refreshing!

I sang parts of several songs as they came to me. It was a fun experiment as I tried to remember each song. Some were phrases or choruses from old Sunday school songs I learned as a child, and some were newer songs we currently sing at church. Camp songs, hymns, songs from the radio–anything was game! 

Soon, I noticed an improvement in both my focus and my mood!

If you’re feeling creative, you can even add a melody to prayers and Scripture. In fact, many of the Psalms started off that way. Music helps us connect with God’s heart!

**If you have time, check out this website, Every Psalm. A husband and wife duo are arranging music for and singing (you guessed it) every Psalm!**

You don’t have to have an instrument or a ‘good’ voice in order to sing and worship. Actually, God made you unique on purpose. No one can praise Him like you!

Really, just about anything can be turned into a song! (Case in point: Here is a Carpool Karaoke episode of Jennifer Hudson singing James Corden’s fast-food order!)

There are several good ways to deal with distractions. That may include reframing our expectations, adjusting our schedule, and setting boundaries. Social media, for example, can actually be a good thing if it is used wisely. Right time, right place, right content.

However you handle distractions, we can always call upon the Lord! Jesus never leaves us, but if we’re not paying attention, we can lose track of Him in our lives. Indeed, it blesses the Lord when we invite Him into our day. And, each time we ask Him for help, we receive His power and perspective. We can soak up His love, joy, and peace, too!

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God, be praised! Thanks for putting a new song in my heart! Thanks that I can call upon You in every single circumstance. You are always with me. Help me stay focused on You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you noticed any patterns that cause you to become distracted? Comparison to others? Fatigue? Time of day? Stress? Too many projects?

Tasks: Plan regular breaks during your day to check social media or whatever is taking your attention; then put it away and get back to work! 🙂 To help eliminate distractions, review the apps on your phone and delete those you are not using. Keep your phone on silent as much as possible. It really helps!

 

 

 

Finding Grace #202

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a good week, and God met several of my needs, especially in terms of the weather. The roads were super slippery, even with all-wheel drive. I definitely needed my defensive driving skills this week, and I am praising God that He protected me each day on my way to work. Thanks, Lord!

The weather was below-zero for much of the week, and I needed a little help outside. On Monday, it didn’t snow, but the plows loaded our driveways with snow from the street. I’m not sure why, but I couldn’t get my snowblower to start. However, on Tuesday morning, one of my neighbors cleared it for me. It was a huge help!

I’ll have to call for someone to fix my snowblower, but on Friday, we had another blizzard that went through today. Another neighbor graciously cleared the end of my driveway, and my snow service will be able to get the rest. I’ll still do my entryway, but I’m going to wait until the wind dies down!

With all the weather issues, school and some of my plans were canceled. Lydia and I now have a four-day weekend! I have been working on a project, and I am very glad to have the extra time. Periodically, I am stopping to take breaks so I can spend time with Lydia. We’ve made a couple of recipes and played “grocery store” so she can practice her math skills. I love her creativity!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

His Story, Plan, and Year

Recently, a friend posted a recap of the last year on her social media page. After discussing her ups and downs, she said how thankful she was for God’s faithfulness. Then, she posted a picture of this cute mug that said: “This is My His Year.” Yes, ‘My’ is crossed out.

It was a perfect reminder that life is not about you or me. It’s about Jesus.

Then, this week, I came across some timely articles with a similar message.

The first article mentioned that we often see life from our personal storyline. For example, if someone is career-driven, then their daily decisions will likely serve that bottom line. Their thoughts and choices will work to advance that path. Yes, they may go to church, help people, pay their bills on time, and so on, but the subconscious focus is on their own success.

In some ways, our brains are wired to hyperfocus on what’s right in front of us. But if we’re not careful, we may be missing the picture of Jesus’ larger story! His is the only story that matters.

As I reflect on my own life, maybe I focus too much through the lens of being a daughter or sister or dietitian or blogger or a widow or single mom, or whatever. (Maybe you identify with being a grandparent, a bus driver, a nurse, a cook, a banker, or a teacher.) Those roles are not necessarily wrong; in fact, they can be very good.

But what I do can’t be my everything.

Ultimately, my identity is found in Christ. He is the author, and I am merely a beloved character in His story. I can’t let my small perspective limit what God wants to do in me and through me. Every hour, I need to refocus on Jesus and what He wants for me to be and do. And that makes me thankful for several reasons!

First of all, when I remember God’s got this, I am off the hook. Not being in charge of the story means I don’t have to stress about what other people are doing or not doing. I am not responsible for getting each character to the end. I can just focus on Jesus and the tasks He gives me. No more, no less.

Second, those same God-given tasks tend to become my focus if I’m not careful. The daily grind can consume us! But instead of being distracted, I can focus on being obedient and doing my best for Jesus. For example, at work, I can see each interaction with a patient as a way to serve them and show them God’s love. It’s His glory after all, not mine.

Third, the second article mentions, “Setbacks and steps forward must be reinterpreted around a journey of becoming more like Christ.” Positive and negative experiences should ultimately point us back to Jesus. Similarly, our successes are not our own, and our failures are not our burdens. Instead, they can redirect our focus back to our gracious God. When we see daily challenges have a bigger purpose, it takes the pressure off our performance.

While it feels fantastic when everything seems to go my way, the circumstances that brought that happiness will never last. This world is fading away, but whatever God starts, He will sustain. That’s His job, and He is always faithful!

Our goals, plans, and dreams are certainly valuable! But they are nothing compared to Jesus Himself! Let’s have the right perspective. This is His Story, His Plan, and His Year. Trust Him!

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God, thanks for taking such good care of me! Thank You for Your sovereignty. I’m grateful You’ve got this, Lord. Help me do what You’ve asked me to do. Help me continue to rest and trust in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Would anything in your life be different if you dared to give God control? How would your daily routine change? Would you feel less stressed over the course of time?

Tasks: Write down your goals, plans, and dreams. Then, pray about them and let God have control. He can lead you and bring them to fruition, or He can give you something better!

Finding Grace #201

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was such a sweet week, full of God’s gentle grace. I celebrated my twelfth wedding anniversary and received some wonderful encouragement. Thank you!

Lydia and I had some funny conversations this week. For example, we had an hour-long conversation about French Impressionists, like Claude Monet. Lydia also decided to make some healthy, kid-friendly recipes but needed supervision. Later, she shared about how she helped her classmates and handled a couple of sticky situations at school. It is fun to see her be creative and take on more responsibility. She’s such a cool kid!

On Friday, I had coffee with a friend. We don’t know each other super well, but I was grateful we could meet and spend time together. I appreciate how God uses each of us to encourage each other. It is helpful to listen, make decisions, and process life’s challenges. Thank You, Jesus!

I had several other great conversations with people this week. I was able to catch up with various people and challenge a good friend with God’s truth. Sometimes, we misunderstand people’s intentions, so it’s good to pray first and then communicate clearly. Life is so short. A good friendship goes both ways and iron sharpens iron! 

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Pillows and Pizza

Can you believe we are already one full week into the new year/decade?! Yes, Christmas was already two weeks ago! Just like clockwork, here we are! 🙂

Yesterday, I celebrated my 12th wedding anniversary, and of all the awesome Christmas gifts we received, one stands out to me. My sister and sister-in-law made me two beautiful pillows (pictured below)!

Receiving the pillows was such a wonderful surprise! Their kindness made me feel so special because I love birds (peacocks are especially pretty). Blue and green are my favorite colors, and the blue satiny material is from my sister’s bridesmaid dress.

Every time I look at the pillows, I not only have fun memories of Dave, but I also imagine all the effort that was put into them. They spent a lot of time traveling to each other’s homes (2+ hours away) and thinking ahead about how to piece the materials together. In fact, that these dear ladies wanted to bless me is a gift in itself!

Yesterday was a good day all around. I saw it on my calendar, of course, but it didn’t faze me like Dave’s recent birthday. For some reason, our anniversary doesn’t hurt as much.

It was about ten degrees outside (felt much colder, below zero), but the lovely blue-skied day made everything feel bright! I felt cheerful and grateful.

My mom left an encouraging voice mail while I was at work, and when I got off, I called her back. We laughed as we reminisced and told ‘Dave stories.’

After that, I ran a few errands before picking up Lydia. As we got in the car, I asked her if she wanted to get pizza from Papa Murphy’s. Then, we invited a friend to join us. We had a fun evening together and shared more memories of Dave.

Pillows and pizza. These are just some of the ways I see God show me His love and grace. I appreciate it when people take the time to encourage me and pray for me… So thank you!

I can feel everyone cheering me on, and it makes all the difference!

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God, thanks for showing me your love and grace through the kindness of other people. Help me be a blessing to others and bring them comfort, too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are you celebrating this week? Something special or something routine?

Tasks: When you have the chance to bless someone, go for it! No gift is too small.

Finding Grace #200

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week we eased back into normal life after the holidays! Lydia and I had a really good break, which was just what we needed. I’m so grateful for the chance to relax! We enjoyed playing so many fun games and doing art projects together. I also was able to get caught up on a few of my own tasks. Thank You, Lord!

Lydia went back to school on Thursday, and I went back to work. It was good to have two days to readjust and then another weekend. We made it! LOL

We had a blizzard over the weekend and a late start for daycare and work on Monday. We received over a foot of snow! Last night, I turned onto a busy street and reached the intersection right before the light turned red. I had difficulty stopping, however, and slid into oncoming traffic! I ended up turning and going with the traffic (instead of being T-boned). I’m grateful for God’s protection!

My snow removal service (and a couple of my neighbors) have been good to help with my snow. I still have my own portion to do though, and this week, I also cleared the bike path where the bus stop is located. It took me over an hour to do just that one portion. For fun, I calculated the volume of snow I cleared. Conservatively, I shoveled and blew away 377 cubic feet of snow! It felt like a big accomplishment! 😉

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Looking Back and Moving Forward

Welcome to 2020!! Wow, that has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?!

Recently on social media, people were having a ‘decade challenge’ where they posted a picture of themselves in 2009 and 2019. It was cool to see how many people have stayed the same and/or changed.

I didn’t post any pictures, in part because I couldn’t find any pictures of me from 2009 without a lot of effort. Hey, it’s been ten years! 😉

Nonetheless, I have certainly been thinking about all that has happened in the last decade. After all, hindsight is 20/20. 😉 It is important to remember all the things we’ve been through. Not because we should stay there, but so we can learn and grow past them.

Here is a brief recap of my last decade. I’m looking back while still moving forward. Also, I did find a picture of me with Dave right before we moved to North Dakota in early 2010. Close enough! 🙂

2009: Dave and I celebrated one year of marriage. We also went through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. The wise principles we learned through this course put us on the same page in our marriage by giving us common goals and helping us communicate better. Only God could know what was coming next, and I’m extremely grateful for the impact that course had on both our finances and our marriage.

2010: With my support, Dave decided to apply for a job in West Fargo, North Dakota, with Caterpillar. He was hired almost immediately, and that set the stage for the biggest challenges of our lives. We felt God was calling us to a big adventure, though had we known what that entailed, perhaps we would have stayed put. Still, we moved twelve hours away from our family and friends and soon settled into our brand new home and community. Dave had so much fun using his snowblower to clear several feet of snow that year!

2011: The highlights here include meeting many new neighbors and friends at church. However, it was difficult to be far from family, and we had to miss several fun events. Later that year, Dave and I celebrated Lydia Ruth’s arrival. She was named after my grandmother, who died the year before. I will never forget the pure joy on Dave’s face when Lydia was born. He was so very proud to be her Daddy!

2012: One afternoon in early May 2012, Dave came home from work early and stayed in bed for a week. He felt sick and had no energy. I could hear his stomach making sounds from over ten feet away. On Mother’s Day, I took him to the ER and he was admitted. We soon found out he had Stage IV colon cancer. Lydia was not quite six months old. We spent the rest of the year going through chemo and two major surgeries. Through this, God used cancer to expose my deepest fears and challenge my faith. It was grueling, as you can imagine, but Dave’s positive attitude will always stand out in my mind.

2013: A very difficult year. Dave continued to decline and was in the hospital more than he was at home. He had a third major surgery in April. My faith was in crisis mode. At first, he rebounded, thanks to the amazing support of our loving family and friends. But on May 15th, 2013, Dave died at the age of 34 and my life as a widowed single mom began. I was 30 years old. Even in the midst of shock and immense heartache, I knew I needed to give myself time to properly grieve. By this point, all I could do was cling to Jesus. Whereas cancer rocked my faith, grief is where my faith was remade. I’m grateful God caught me and held me through it all.

2014: Dave and I had previously tried to dedicate Lydia at church, but each time, he had been too sick. So, in May 2014 (around the one-year anniversary of his death), I decided to do it on my own. For me, it was a huge step forward because it was scary to stand in front of everyone as a single mom. But, in terms of faith, it felt like I needed to draw a line in the sand and make a stand. For me, it was a Joshua 24:15 moment: “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

2015: I continued to work through various aspects of grief. (That could be said about every year since!) In May 2015, I decided to start blogging to mark our path of moving forward and finding God’s grace along the way. For months, I worked behind the scenes to learn the system and prepare. It took me a little while to find the courage to ‘put myself out there,’ but I finally went live in August. I’m so glad I did!

2016: Lydia began preschool in the fall. I wasn’t sure of where to send her, but God lead me to just the right place. Lydia’s teachers really connected well with her, and it was fun to see how she grew that year. Also, Lydia felt comfortable to start talking more about Dave to her teachers and little friends. I was concerned about this at first, but her teachers wisely and graciously helped us through that. They gave Lydia all the time, space, and resources to explain herself and come to terms with the loss in her own little way. I’m forever grateful and we have continued to roll with it as best we can.

2017: A year of transition. The company I worked for was bought out by a larger healthcare organization. My job was merged into the new system. It was scary, but I am glad I stuck it out. During this time, I also had a friend stay with us for six months while she got back on her feet. It was a fun time and our friendship grew stronger. That fall, Lydia started Kindergarten. It felt like a huge milestone!

2018: My parents moved to Florida in the spring. It was a little sad for me, but I am happy they have adjusted so well! We went to visit them during Lydia’s birthday and had a great time. Among other fun adventures, Lydia also started first grade. Our most stable year!

2019: Yet another transitional year. In February, I contacted a dietitian friend and talked with her about something related to Dave. Then, summer came and she contacted me about a new job! I had prayerfully felt something new was coming, and I am so glad I decided to apply. I have been there since August and it has been a huge blessing to me. There have been challenges in terms of daycare and other adjustments, but I am really grateful for the opportunity.

So what’s next? Well, only God knows. 🙂 But as I look back over the years, I see one transition after another. Yes, growth means changing through the ups and downs.

A good attitude always helps as we trust God to turn each problem into something good. I am looking forward to seeing His faithfulness as we continue on this great adventure.

“You’ve been so, so good to me. You’ve been so, so good to me. Oh, to think where I would be, if not for You, if not for You.” —Remembrance by Hillsong Worship

Despite my many challenges over the last ten years, God has never left me on my own. Each step of the way, He has helped me. I didn’t always understand how He was working, but I can see it now. And, I am grateful for His grace and goodness toward me.

I don’t know what your last decade entailed, but I hope you can see how God came through for you. He has not forgotten you. He fights for you and loves you very much!

Our Victory is in Jesus!

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God, be praised! We cannot thank You enough for all You have done for us. As we look back and see Your faithfulness, please build our trust. Give us the courage to keep moving forward, knowing You will lead us and catch us when we fall. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What challenges and victories have you faced over the last year…or ten? Can you see God’s hand in your circumstances, working them out for good?

Tasks: Write down the challenges you faced and the coinciding victories. Then, give God praise. If you haven’t seen anything good just yet, hang on! It’s coming!