Fifteen Years

On Sunday, I celebrated fifteen years since I married Dave! It was my tenth anniversary without him here, but this anniversary felt fairly lightweight. Marrying Dave was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I am grateful for the time we had together.

Lydia reminds me of Dave daily; she’s a treasure like her dad. This weekend, we made a bit of forward progress… another project requiring more tools.

Fifteen years ago, Dave and I bought a closet organizer that had several pieces. We used it in our old house in Illinois but separated it into different rooms when we moved to North Dakota.


Over the last year or so, Lydia’s been requesting we remove the drawers and shelves that ended up in her room. The drawers have needed repairs on and off for ten years. I suppose fifteen years is a long time for particle board! Nonetheless, I kept putting it off.

Because of its size, it seemed like a lot of effort, mentally and physically. I knew I would have to do it all myself! But it was also emotionally tough because whenever I saw it, I could envision Dave installing it with great love and attention to detail. Oh, how he loved Lydia and wanted the best for her!

Well, thanks to our recent break from work and school, I finally felt relaxed and ready to tackle it. Lydia cleaned it out and cleared space. Then, I unscrewed it from the wall. We removed the drawers and shelves before I slowly pulled the unit down to the floor.

I’m pretty sure that the unit was just waiting to come down! Almost with a sigh of relief, it fell into two sections before hitting the floor! I could see what was happening, so I was prepared. Ironically, it saved me the effort of prying it loose! Then, the hinges on the door gave way, and the rest just came apart.

Finally, I carried it to the curb for garbage pickup on Monday. Lydia promptly moved her desk into that new space. It fits perfectly. In fact, the desk looks much better there than sticking out from the window, its previous location.



In hindsight, it was almost as if the wardrobe was just holding together until I could finally release it. It felt like an object lesson, a statement: It’s okay to hold onto the past for a little while, but it’s also good to let it go. That’s part of healing and moving forward.

I don’t know if you need to let something go… but maybe it’s time. It’s not that it means less now, but consider how you have grown past the point of needing it. Or, perhaps it is keeping you from growth.

Then again, maybe there’s nothing holding you back… But are you holding something else back? No rush. No pressure. Just something to consider. As Lysa TerKeurst says, “Emotions are indicators, not dictators.” God wants us to live a full life. But life is short, and we don’t have time to waste. 

Ultimately, we want to listen to Jesus and follow His timing in our lives. We don’t have to be afraid; He is trustworthy. He will make it clear when we need to keep moving forward!

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God, thanks for blessing me, protecting me, and providing for me. Thanks for the reminder to let go of things that aren’t good for me anymore so I can follow You more closely. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What is God asking you to do as a result of this blog post? Is there something holding you back from following Him?

Tasks: Take a little inventory of your environment, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Be brave and let go of what is not serving you well. Trust Jesus and keep moving forward!

Finding #219

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a fantastic week! Mother’s Day was really fun. Lydia gave me some great gifts, with my mom’s help. She even threw me a beach party (with decorations) in the living room. Later, we Zoomed with my family again. I’m really enjoying our weekly chat!

Work was busy, but really good. All my patients listened to me and were making progress on their goals, which is always fun to see. It was gratifying to know I am helping them!

Friday was the seventh anniversary of Dave’s death. I prefer to celebrate his legacy and that he is in Heaven rather than give cancer and death any more press. It also helps remind me that, because of Jesus, death is not the final word. We have Victory over death!

The weather on Friday was absolutely gorgeous. Lydia and I went walking along the river, listened to birds sing, and found a little free library. We enjoyed Caribou drinks and some chocolate truffles from my sister and brother-in-law. I always give Lydia a gift in Dave’s honor, so yesterday she received some STEM toys (dealing with various topics like, gravity, electric circuits, and lasers). Then, my neighbor/friend came over to chat. We talked for hours and it was so great to catch up! I appreciated all the calls, texts, phone calls, and gifts from friends and family. Thanks so much!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Pillows and Pizza

Can you believe we are already one full week into the new year/decade?! Yes, Christmas was already two weeks ago! Just like clockwork, here we are! 🙂

Yesterday, I celebrated my 12th wedding anniversary, and of all the awesome Christmas gifts we received, one stands out to me. My sister and sister-in-law made me two beautiful pillows (pictured below)!

Receiving the pillows was such a wonderful surprise! Their kindness made me feel so special because I love birds (peacocks are especially pretty). Blue and green are my favorite colors, and the blue satiny material is from my sister’s bridesmaid dress.

Every time I look at the pillows, I not only have fun memories of Dave, but I also imagine all the effort that was put into them. They spent a lot of time traveling to each other’s homes (2+ hours away) and thinking ahead about how to piece the materials together. In fact, that these dear ladies wanted to bless me is a gift in itself!

Yesterday was a good day all around. I saw it on my calendar, of course, but it didn’t faze me like Dave’s recent birthday. For some reason, our anniversary doesn’t hurt as much.

It was about ten degrees outside (felt much colder, below zero), but the lovely blue-skied day made everything feel bright! I felt cheerful and grateful.

My mom left an encouraging voice mail while I was at work, and when I got off, I called her back. We laughed as we reminisced and told ‘Dave stories.’

After that, I ran a few errands before picking up Lydia. As we got in the car, I asked her if she wanted to get pizza from Papa Murphy’s. Then, we invited a friend to join us. We had a fun evening together and shared more memories of Dave.

Pillows and pizza. These are just some of the ways I see God show me His love and grace. I appreciate it when people take the time to encourage me and pray for me… So thank you!

I can feel everyone cheering me on, and it makes all the difference!

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God, thanks for showing me your love and grace through the kindness of other people. Help me be a blessing to others and bring them comfort, too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are you celebrating this week? Something special or something routine?

Tasks: When you have the chance to bless someone, go for it! No gift is too small.