Tag: weakness

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Prayer, Worship

Known and Loved

Yesterday morning, I was serenaded by a little songbird called a tree swallow. Blue is my favorite color and the male’s blue coloring was particularly pretty. The female is more of a greyish brown. She joined him on my deck after he had been singing for a few minutes.

I thought it was sweet to watch as I was eating my breakfast. Soon, however, I started to discern something else might be going on. I’m no bird expert, but it seemed like I was watching a turf war!

A third bird kept landing on my deck, which prompted all the birds to ‘hiss’ at each other and scatter. I don’t know if the males were fighting over the female or if there was a nest nearby.

I would have loved to stay and watch this scene on repeat through my binoculars… but I had to go to work. Still, it reminded me that we are also in a daily battle that often is difficult to discern.

There is a battle for our souls. Our enemy will use any means necessary to distract us, get us off course, and make us doubt God’s love. We have to be aware of these methods or we will start to lose ground.

Case in point: Yesterday afternoon, I was fighting a bad attitude because I perceived something unfair. I was a little upset about things I can’t control. Left unchecked, I then let even minor inconveniences affect me and become major annoyances!

For example, when I walked to the bus to pick up Lydia, the wind kept blowing my hair into my face. Grrr… Yes, I could have driven around the block, but didn’t. I could have grabbed a hat, but then I would have had hat hair… oh, the injustice! 😉

Thankfully, I soon confessed what was bothering me to the Lord. I also apologized for being annoyed about the wind. It wasn’t a quick turnaround, but slowly, I switched gears. Walking against the wind on our way home from the bus also helped!

Lydia happened to be in a really funny mood, which also helped mine. After listening to her chat about her day, I turned on the radio to help me get out of my funk. Lydia had plenty to say about the songs, and the lyrics spoke precisely to my heart.

I was glad to draw near to God and worship. Each song felt like it was hand-picked by Him—I felt He understood just what I needed. More of Him.

As Lydia and I made dinner together, I prayerfully poured out my heart to the Lord. Later, I explained the basics of how I was feeling to Lydia and thanked her for helping me cheer up. She hadn’t even noticed!

I didn’t tell her all the details, of course, but she was supportive and gave me lots of hugs. We talked about our various emotions and how we can bring them all to God—good or bad. We don’t have to live in fear, doubt, or defeat.

I could have stayed in my bad mood, but I’m glad I asked the Lord for help. God knows each of our needs even before we come and ask. We can trust Him to take good care of us because He loves us so much. His love never fails!

God provides for all the birds and knows each one. But we are far more valuable to Him. He knows us fully and sees all our selfishness, yet He loves us anyway. Wow.

With Jesus, we have all that we need….and He already won the war. We don’t have to fight it out on our own. We just have to stand firm and not give up any territory. Victory!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your forgiveness and grace. You take such good care of me and provide for all of my needs. Help me trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When you are in a foul mood, how to do you get out of it? What do you do to renew your mind with God’s love and truth?

Tasks: Let your emotions lead you to Jesus. Listen to the song, “Known,” by Tauren Wells.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Worship

Scars

I’m thankful for the scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars
So forever I am thankful for the scars

–From the song, “Scars,” by I AM THEY

Well, here we are in the middle of May! Today marks 6 years since Dave died. I am reflective, and a little sad, but I know it will pass. Today also marks six years of being a widow and single mom. Lydia and I are doing well, and talk about Dave often. 

Thankfully, we have found a good rhythm. God has us on a good path, and I’m grateful for the peace and rest He brings. Over the years, grief always felt like a ‘big’ factor. Now, it comes and goes with less frequency.

On this anniversary, we always celebrate Dave’s life by doing something special. I give Lydia a small gift, tell her “Dave stories,” and point out qualities of his that she also has.

When I asked Lydia for her ideas on how to celebrate, she suggested we eat frozen yogurt, play a game, or take a bike ride after we get home from work and school.

I’m amazed that she takes it all in stride. She has proven quite resilient! She seems fairly mature for her age, handling herself and her emotions well.

In fact, over the last few months, Lydia has started to ask for more details about Dave and cancer. She now identifies when she is sad, and we are able to talk about it. It helps that we can build on all our previous conversations.

Last week, Lydia decided on a whim to wear her CAT sweatshirt from when she was a toddler. It made me smile because the shirt is still so special to her. She didn’t think anything of the fact that is too small. The sleeves are super short, so maybe I’ll get her a new one for the fall!

Today, I’m also celebrating God’s grace and faithfulness. He has helped me to persevere and keep moving forward. Overall, I’ve made slow and steady progress, but it still counts!

We can’t get through life without pain and suffering. It’s just not possible to be alive and problem-free at the same time. We will all go through trials, which will likely yield some physical and/or emotional wounds. But, that doesn’t mean we have no control. We can certainly choose to have a good attitude and bring our pain to Jesus for healing. Professional therapy may also be helpful!

We should be wise with how we view our scars and stories. We don’t have to walk around showing off our scars to everyone we meet. Despite what happens, we are not victims. Besides, some people won’t understand our pain or be able to handle it appropriately.

But when we have the opportunity, we can use our scars to tell a story of grace, victory, and God’s goodness. Scars show how much we’ve been through, yes, but they also show how much we’ve been healed. Praise God!

Our trials, wounds, and scars can either distract us from Jesus or redirect us back to Him. I’m grateful I’ve chosen to draw near to the Lord. He has rebuilt me from the inside out, and His joy has been my strength. He is always with me and for me. He has never let me down!

Over the last six years, I’ve been constantly reminded life is so short. We can’t take anything for granted, but we can always be grateful. When we let God lead us, He takes such good care of us. He loves us so very much. Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for bringing us this far. We could not have made it without You. Please continue to lead and guide us. Thank You for using my pain and scars and for giving me a new purpose. I give You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Question: How do you like to celebrate the lives of your loved ones who have died?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Scars,” by I AM THEY. Also, reach out to a widow, single mom, or someone else who may need some encouragement today! Small acts of kindness can go a long way!

Posted on in Miscellaneous, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Don’t Stop Believing!

This week, I have been scribing John 14! Writing down the verses word-for-word helps me understand more of the story. I can almost imagine I was there in the scene, which helps me feel the intent and emotions behind the words.

You can read the whole chapter here for context, but the thing that stood out to me, is John 14:8-9, which says, “Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”
Jesus answered: Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?” (my emphasis added)

When I read these verses, I detect a little bit of sadness. Jesus seemed hurt His disciples were struggling to believe in Him. They quickly tossed aside His message and miracles and started questioning His character. They second-guessed His intentions.

Jesus’ disciples didn’t understand His purpose. Nor did they realize the depth of His love that would soon send Him to the cross. I wonder if Jesus ever grew tired of always having to explain and prove Himself.

I find it a little heartbreaking in the next two verses, when Jesus says,
“Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves.” (my emphasis added)

It is easy to have faith when life is going well. We may even have ‘proof’ things are going our way. We say God is good—and indeed He is.

But, there is a danger if we only say, “God is good,” in the good times. God never changes (Hebrews 13:8), so even when our circumstances change for the worse, He is still good.

Of course, challenges are a part of life. Quite often, when troubles come, our doubts and fears are exposed. Our true motivations are rooted out and then chipped away from our remaining character.

Doubts and trials can certainly be uncomfortable, but it is normal to have questions about what we are going through. As long as we keep seeking Him, we will find Jesus.

He will give us the answers we need, and/or the grace to move forward when it doesn’t make sense. In fact, He can use this process to strengthen us, refine us, and redirect us. He turns trials around in our favor, too (Romans 8:28)!

In the past, cancer and grief threatened my entire view of God. At times, my doubts made me question God’s character and love. I thought, “How could God ‘allow’ Dave to get sick?” I knew cancer wasn’t from God, and in those 364 days, I learned He was not mad at me or punishing me.

Instead, He graciously showed me that I was seeing Him through my own faulty traits. There was a difference between who I thought God was and who He actually is.

God will not be limited to our human interpretations of who He is or what He does. He does not owe us an explanation. But He does ask us to believe in Him.

The next time you are faced with fears and doubts, come directly to Jesus. He is not turned off by your questions. He wants to show you the Truth about Himself and your situation.

Read His word and set your eyes on Him, not the problem. Remind yourself of His character and love. Remember all the ways He has been faithful.

Don’t let your doubts keep you from Jesus. Believe He is who He says He is. He is your defender and your righteousness. Let Him be your refuge. He loves you dearly!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good and faithful. I’m sorry when I doubt You. Help me remember Your faithfulness. You always keep Your promises! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Can you hear Jesus calling to you with grace and love? What is He saying to you right now? Will you draw near to Him?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Your Love Defends Me,” by Matt Maher.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Crashing Into Grace

Over the weekend, we got several inches of snow. I spent much of Sunday clearing my driveway so we could get out that afternoon.

Later, as we pulled out of the, my all-wheel-drive Subaru got stuck in the heavy snow. (That doesn’t happen often, but the snow plow had not been through yet.)

I could have made it through but decided to back up instead and turn around. Well, I ended up hitting a big snow bank with a good amount of force and put a dent in my fender! Grrr…

I was pretty disappointed because I try to take good care of my car so it will last.

So, on Monday, I tried to pop out the dent on my own, but it was near my exhaust pipe and kind of awkward. I couldn’t get enough leverage or oomph.

Monday night, I posted online to ask for help (or recommendations) on social media. Two friends commented that I should heat up the area with a hairdryer to make it pliable. Genius idea!

When I put Lydia to bed, we prayed for wisdom to fix the dent. After that, I heated up the area as suggested. I was ready to try anything!

At first, the heat didn’t make much difference. So after a while, I put the hairdryer on a 5-gallon bucket to give my hands a break. Meanwhile, I found a variety of tools/objects to help me pop the fender back into shape.

I prayerfully tried a lead pipe (too long), a hammer (too risky), a bottle emptied of its fluid (not quite strong enough), and a few other items. Nope.

After an hour or so, I was really frustrated. I prayed again, saying, “Jesus, this is not a huge issue in light of everything else. But I’d really like to fix this and I can’t do it on my own. So You’re going to have to help me.”

The Lord loves to help us and show Himself strong on our behalf.

So once again, I let Him.

Then, the idea came to me to try one more time from underneath with my hands only (no tools). I had tried it earlier but only by kneeling and trying to push/pull it from the outside.

So, finally, I crawled under the car again and just pushed with my fingers.
Suddenly, everything very gently moved into place, like the easiest thing ever.

This all required a fair amount of faith and ‘elbow grease’ but I am grateful it is fixed. If you look close, there might be a slight mark or tiny indentation left, but I’m calling it a sweet Victory in Jesus’ Name!

I was so excited and posted a praise report (similar to this) online.

Several people commented on how God loves to help us with the little things. Yes!

To me, the dent proved just one more way that the Lord works for my good and His glory (see Romans 8:28). Praise God!

As my Aunt Deb mentioned online, “Faith moves mountains and car bumpers.”

I hope this example shows that God can help you do mighty things, too! No problem is too small or too unimportant for Him. Put your faith in Jesus… He loves you so much!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your help with my car! You do all things well. Thanks for the sweet reminder of Your love and grace. Help me trust You for greater things as well. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have a recent praise report? How did God show up?

Tasks: Listen to this song called “Nothing is Impossible!” Don’t wait to pray until a “collision” occurs in your life. Ask God to help right away!

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

Regarding Lazarus

Last year I began scribing the Gospel of John with several friends. A handful of people have finished but I’m about halfway through. I recently completed John Chapter 11 word-for-word.

I stayed in Chapter 11 through the holidays. You could say I “sat” with Lazarus for about two weeks because I could relate…

Lazarus and his two sisters, Mary and Martha, were close friends of Jesus. They lived in Bethany, about two miles outside Jerusalem. Somehow, I had previously missed that small detail—Bethany was nearby.

Jesus received word that Lazarus was sick, but surprisingly He didn’t go there right away. In fact, He postponed his arrival for two days. By then, Lazarus was dead.

Now I don’t know about you, but a two-mile walk would take me around thirty minutes or less. It might take me longer if I stopped to chat or run another errand. But I could easily make it in an hour.

So why did Jesus delay? He could have easily just spoken from a distance and Lazarus would have been healed. Jesus did not procrastinate but stayed where He was on purpose. He knew the Father’s plan and He knew the final outcome.

To gain some insight, I re-read the story several times.

At one point it hit me: I could understand how Martha and Mary must’ve felt when they questioned Jesus. Perhaps they felt some sense of betrayal, anger, or abandonment… He was only 2 miles away. I’m sure they felt desperation and the pain of unbearable grief. IF ONLY Jesus had shown up, when they thought He should, things would’ve been different.

My paraphrase: “Lord, if you had been here, this would never have happened!!” We so easily question God with our limited understanding, but His ways are not our ways.

When Dave was sick, there were so many times when it felt like God wasn’t listening or wasn’t working on our behalf. Often, we prayed about a test or symptom only to have the opposite happen. It was very frustrating!

I know God never leaves us nor forsakes us, and He certainly did not betray me. But my feelings sometimes got the best of me…

Yet, because Jesus stayed put and didn’t rush, He was then able to explain that He is the Resurrection and the Life. He was able to do one final miracle, which pointed to His own death and resurrection. He was able to increase His followers’ faith. He was able to bring His Father glory. He was able to give us hope 2000+ years later as well.

A short while later, in John 12, Jesus once again hangs out with his friends, Mary, Martha, and the resurrected Lazarus. I bet they all rehashed what they had been through together.

I wonder what Lazarus thought about all of this. I’m sure he and his sisters were grateful to be able to understand God’s love for them in a more personal way.

Time for a quick disclaimer: Our Heavenly Father wants what is good for us and is eager that we should be whole and healthy. And while I do believe we should seek God’s healing, healing should not be our primary goal (in and of itself).

Healing is certainly wonderful, but it’s not the end-all be-all. (Hey, Lazarus died twice!)

To be clear, sickness is not from God, and it is important to take care of our bodies in whatever way we can. For example, healthy food, exercise, adequate sleep, stress reduction, medicine, prayer, and counseling are all good. Absolutely!

For some people, healing happens in an instant, but for others, it takes time. Unfortunately, when healing doesn’t come on our terms or in our timing, some people are lead to believe they don’t have enough faith. They can even feel ashamed of being unwell.

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

Judging someone else’s faith or experience is unfair and unkind... not to mention inaccurate. Let’s be careful not add to someone’s suffering or burden them with ‘if only’ scenarios. Instead, let’s offer grace and support.

Some of the godliest and most faith-filled people I know live with chronic pain or health issues. I admire them and learn so much from them! They’re tough!

Anyway, no matter what happens, whether God heals us on our terms or not, our sole focus should be on Jesus. How can He use us for His glory?

Just remember: God can use us in whatever condition we are... dead or alive!! 🙂

Jesus wept when He saw Lazarus’ tomb. It brought Jesus great sadness, and He told His disciples He was glad for their sake that He was not there when Lazarus died. But if He had “only” healed Lazarus, we ALL would have missed so much.

Lazarus was dead four days before being resurrected, which proves nothing is impossible for Jesus! If you need healing or another form of help, Jesus is able and willing! Trust Him!

Dave and I prayed for healing, yes. And though it came differently than expected, God was (and has been) ever-faithful. Dave received FULL healing when he went to Heaven. Thankfully, God has been healing my heart as well.

I am grateful that Jesus isn’t bound by my timeline (what I think He should do and when). I don’t have all the answers, but I do know God excels at bringing dead things to life. He resurrects and restores!

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Heavenly Father, You are so faithful. Thanks taking such good care of us. Help us trust You when we do not understand. In You, We have Victory! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your ‘Lazarus?’ What do you need God to resurrect or restore?

Tasks: Listen to “Still Rolling Stones,” by Lauren Daigle. Check out the Journibles here!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Procrastination, Travel, Wisdom

2018 Annual Review

Happy Boxing Day!! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. 😉

Lydia and I had our best Christmas yet! We really appreciated receiving some invitations to join others, but we ended up doing our own thing instead.

On Christmas Eve, we hosted another family from church. We enjoyed celebrating Jesus with them! We ate yummy food and had great conversation.

On Christmas Day, we enjoyed a relaxing breakfast and then opened presents. Lydia received several fun gifts, including some clothes, books, games, and science kits.

After that, we talked with some friends and family. We thought about going to the movies, but decided to go sledding instead. We had so much fun and even saw another family enjoying the chilly day. It was perfect.

Later, Lydia played with some of her new toys while I exercised. Then, we put together some bath goodies from one of the science kits. She’s never been so excited to take a bath! 😉

Finally, after a relaxing day, we watched a Christmas movie together. We have the rest of the week off as well, so I’m sure we will do some more fun activities!

This year flew by. Thankfully, it had more ups than downs. We saw God’s grace all around us in more ways than we can count. He is so faithful.

Lydia and I took some fun trips and spent time with loved ones. We stepped foot in at least 6 states. I’m grateful for my car and God’s protection and provision!

This year, we both pushed our limits and tried new things. Everything from recipes to outdoor Christmas lights. One highlight is that we went kayaking and Lydia loved it!

Lydia has done well in school and enjoys learning. My job is stable and I feel like I am making a difference. I’m so grateful for God’s blessings!

This year, I have felt humbled in many ways. I have become more aware of my flaws and all that I still need to learn. (Yes, I’m human!) 😉

I usually set a lot of goals, but didn’t meet most of them this year. I met my most important goals, but still left a lot on the table. In order to prioritize a big project, I kind of slacked off elsewhere! I made progress, but I also have a lot to finish or catch up!

Still, I have learned to accept God’s grace for my perceived failures and trust Him to lead me. I’m grateful I don’t have to be perfect. Jesus is My Righteousness!

I’ll probably set similar goals this year (haha, I can’t help it!). But I have learned to give myself grace and be more present day-to-day.

This year, I have challenged several fears head-on and moved forward anyway. Despite not meeting all of my goals, I have still grown as a person, and am happy with who I am becoming! 🙂

Thankfully, God’s mercies are new every day. I just have to stay focused on Jesus and walk with Him. Everything else will work out in due time!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for walking with us each and every day. Thanks for all the grace You’ve shown us this year. Redirect my path and help me stay focused as You make me more like Jesus. In His Name, Amen

Questions: What were the highlights of your year? What did you learn and how did you grow? What will you change going forward?

Tasks: Consider setting SMART goals for the new year. Don’t worry if it feels like ‘too much’ for you to accomplish. Trust Jesus to direct your path!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Lighten Up!

Yesterday morning, like many mornings, I woke up groggy. It’s dark when I get up, and I am still ‘baby-stepping’ my morning routine! Also, I am slowly realizing I just need to go to sleep earlier… hence the baby steps.

Usually, within a few minutes, I can shake it off and go about my day. But yesterday, I didn’t feel the best and didn’t get up as early as I had planned. Soon, groggy turned into cranky.

First, I got shampoo in my eyes while showering. After that, I spent a while thinking about the long day ahead and things I can’t control. One negative thought led to another and then I started thinking about other random issues, like shoveling snow this coming winter! I even argued with Lydia about tying her shoes. It started off as one of those days…

I stayed in my funk for almost 2 hours…even with coffee. Then, I berated myself for feeling that way! Which was not helpful, of course. Thankfully, I realized that and was able to do something about it.

As I finished getting ready for my day, I listened to some of the affirmations I mentioned previously. Many of them are actually Bible verses I recorded in my own voice. I usually choose to listen in random order, and yesterday, those verses were exactly what I needed to ‘lighten up.’

As I refocused my mind on who God says I am, I felt my burdens lift. I began smiling and was able to go about my day more cheerfully. Whew!

A few takeaways:

Each day, there are many things we can’t control. Circumstances can change rapidly. Sometimes, we find ourselves on a downward spiral. That may not be our fault—bad things happen. Still, it is my choice to remain there.

Circumstances may not improve immediately, but life has a way of working out. It’s usually better than we think. So, I can halt any negativity knowing eventually I will find an upward trend. I can go searching for something good!

I can’t predict what will happen, but I can choose my attitude. I can expect the best.

Finally, applying God’s word to my situation is like turning on the lights in the early morning darkness. It helps me see more clearly.

 “And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” –Genesis 1:3.

Jesus is both the Living Word and the Light of the World. He makes the darkness flee!

There are several references to light in the Bible. Check out a few of them here:

Isaiah 9:2; Psalm 27:1; 2 Corinthians 4:6; and 1 John 1:5

We can bring the Light of Jesus to everyone we meet. If we let Him, Jesus can shine brightly through our brokenness. He will draw people to Himself, as we lighten up and enjoy life. And when we serve others by being thoughtful, kind and generous, we don’t have time to think of all our problems!

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Heavenly Father, in You there is no darkness at all! Thanks for bringing Truth and clarity to our lives. Thanks for forgiving us and carrying our burdens. May we walk in the light as You are in the light. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When you need to ‘lighten up,’ what do you do? Do you notice it right away or does it take a while to discern your mood?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Tremble” by Mosaic. Jesus makes the darkness tremble!

 

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

Pray and Push Through

I have noticed a theme in my life lately: God is calling me to pray and push through. Keep on keeping on.

Life is certainly crazy at times, but despite the ups and downs, I need to persevere. I may not always see what God is doing, but I need to hang on tight to Jesus!

Change can be a two-edged sword. Sometimes, it seems change will never come. Bored, I can’t stand to bide my time. Then, when abrupt change does happen, I want things to return to the way they were! (I can be so fickle!)

Similarly, perhaps you find yourself in an impossible situation that looks like it will never change. Perhaps what you were hoping for hasn’t come to pass. Or, perhaps life just looks so different… certainly not what you expected.

Maybe it feels like only an ‘act of God’ will bring what you desire! It’s easy to feel down when it seems He is not listening to your cries for help. But, there is hope. Don’t give up!

The good news is that God always hears us and answers each of our prayers. He just may not answer how we want. God answers our prayers in three ways: Yes, No, or Not Yet.

Instead of trying to figure out how to make what we want happen, we can choose to trust God and His timing. God won’t give us anything less than His best.

He already gave us Jesus, His greatest gift—everything else is just gravy!

It’s a relief knowing God hears me and has good plans for me.

Even if God says No—or makes me wait it out—I am grateful I don’t have to make the final decision. I just have to be faithful and do what He has asked me to do.

I can praise God while I am waiting (and still hoping) but also know if it is ultimately a No, then He has something even better in store. Waiting on God is a win-win!

What joy! I can’t go wrong!

“God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him.” –Jim Elliot

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Father God, You are so good! Thanks for always giving me Your best. Help me trust You more as I wait. By Your grace and power, I won’t give up! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you holding onto a dream that seems beyond you? Are you tempted to walk away from it? Could it be that God wants you to press in closer to Him?

Tasks: Read The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. Listen to “The Way” by Pat Barrett.

Posted on in Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

A Smoother Ride

Last week, Lydia and I took a short bike ride to a park in our neighborhood. Most of the time, I let her ride before me because I am faster and don’t want to leave her too far behind. Lydia set the pace, but I directed her and chose which path to take.

As we rode along, it was so peaceful. It was just me and Lydia in the evening heat. We chatted about our day and fun things we plan to do before school starts again next week. At times, we would stop and wait for cars to pass before continuing on our way.

During our ride, I decided to take Lydia to a smaller more secluded park than the one we originally planned. She hadn’t been to this park before and didn’t know the way.

So, I told her, “I’m going to come up on your left and when we get to the intersection, you follow me. We’re going to cross these two streets instead of staying on this path.”

As we got to the other side of the intersection, I stayed back in the street and let Lydia go ahead of me. She asked why I chose to do that, and I told her I was blocking her from any traffic that might come up.

I had noticed a car waiting for us at the stop sign and wanted to protect her. At least the driver could see me in the middle of the road…

Lydia did so well as she listened and followed. Our bike ride was a compelling picture of how God leads us and directs us through life. Everything goes so much better when we just trust Jesus!

That doesn’t mean it’s always an easy ride. For example, as we crossed through the intersection, Lydia had to speed up and go uphill. She had to work a bit to get where she needed to go.

Life is indeed challenging. Circumstances may turn out differently than expected and there will be some bumps along the way. But at the end of the day, it’s just me and Jesus.

He is the one constant in my life! Ultimately, He is in control. Did I stay close to Him? Did I wait for Him? Did I listen and obey Him?

Thankfully, with Jesus, all things are possible. He protects us, provides for us, and directs our path. When we follow Him, it’s a much smoother ride!

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God, thanks for all the ways You love us. Thanks for guiding us as we follow You. Help us listen and trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you have anything left on your summer bucket list?

Task: Listen to “Control (Somehow You Want Me)” by Tenth Avenue North

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Personality, Procrastination

Shredding Inadequacy and Indifference

This past Sunday, I was feeling a little blah (aka unmotivated and indifferent). I was also feeling inadequate. I’m sure there are several reasons, including needing to do a lot of housework, while running short on sleep and exercise.

On Sunday, it all was weighing me down because I have struggled to find a good routine lately and have not been meeting my personal goals.

So, on the way to church, I prayed to refocus on God and asked Him to make me a blessing to others at the morning service. Then, I heard a song that spoke to what I was feeling. Every moment can be used to worship God no matter what we are feeling.

Sad, bad, mad, glad, or blah…take it to Jesus!

Ironically, that day the pastor’s sermon was similar. The message was about reclaiming our soul (our mind, will, and emotions) from the world’s influences. We can easily get drained or lose sight of who we are in Christ if we don’t keep things in check.

I felt convicted that I need to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s nudges…humbling in a good way. I was also challenged because often I get stuck in a cycle of performance. Sometimes, I try to reach goals on my own, forgetting to rely on Jesus and what really matters.

It’s not all just paying bills, dishes, laundry, parenting and work. For me, it can also include too much social media times and games, or even too much reading. These activities are fine by themselves, but can be major distractions at times.

Quite possibly, my biggest soul killer can be too much thinking (daydreaming, problem solving, planning, or worrying about things I can’t control). I happen to enjoy thinking quite a bit, but want to make sure my thoughts are God-centered and not self-centered or fear-promoting.

On Monday, Lydia and I took my paper shredder to an office store. Random, I know, but mine was jammed—and had been for at least a month or two. (Yes, I also have been ignoring my to-be-shredded pile for far too long!) With a little nudge from God, I finally decided to ask for help with it.

Well, my shredder was beyond repair so I opted to buy a new one. I didn’t really want to spend more money, as I had recently been to that same store three other times (including for school and office supplies).

To my surprise, I found a floor model that was a major upgrade from my old shredder for about 75% off the original cost. This model was about the same cost as the tiniest shredder on the shelf. And, it was so big it took up the almost the entire cart!

In that moment, I felt God’s grace and love because He knew just what I needed. I had wanted a bigger shredder so I don’t have to empty the other one as fast. But I hadn’t planned to buy one because of the cost.

Thus, it felt like a blessing to get such a deal on this giant new shredder—like God hand-picked it for me! I’m grateful I didn’t miss what He wanted to do for me. Acknowledging God’s presence encouraged me and reenergized me!

Even something as trivial as a paper shredder can be a tool God uses to draw us closer to Him. It also felt like a positive step in tackling my messy office floor! Quite a few unruly piles of paper have accumulated over time!

Later, in another moment of brave humility (is that a thing?), I felt motivated to ask a friend for help. I need some accountability! She gladly agreed to come help me go through some boxes and clutter that have also been weighing me down.

Soon, we’ll chat and catch up as she helps me sort through shelves and stuff I have been putting off instead of putting away… Cleaning and organizing is better with friends, right?!

I’m grateful that God meets us where we are…mess and all.

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God, thanks for not giving up on me! Thanks for making me new from the inside out. May my heart and life bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are ways that you take care of yourself (your soul)? How do you let God take care of you?

Tasks: Look for ways to revitalize your walk with Jesus. Look for Him in ordinary moments. Perhaps He has a surprise for you as you draw closer to Him!