Category: Parenting

Posted on in Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Special Days Are Still Difficult

As I previously mentioned, Lydia’s 9th birthday was last weekend! We had a fun day together, as you might expect. But, as the evening wore on and bedtime grew close, Lydia started feeling sad.

Perhaps she was already feeling sad, but she didn’t say anything earlier in the day. We were watching “Jingle Jangle” on Netflix, and I thought everything was going well. But toward the end of the show, Lydia started softly crying.

She said the show was sad, although I hadn’t noticed anything overly sad about it. It could have been the fact that it was growing late, or maybe it was just coming down after a high point (celebrating her birthday). Either way, I still needed to help her understand and deal with her emotions.

I silently prayed for help and asked Lydia to share what was on her mind. She couldn’t quite express her thoughts, so I asked a few questions to get her talking. She missed her dad, my late husband, Dave.

Soon, I remembered I had some of Dave’s clothes, saved for this very reason. Around seven years ago, I had packaged up a medium-sized box of his favorite shirts and a pair of jeans, so Lydia could one day understand more about how tall he was and his interests.

I asked Lydia if she wanted to see the clothes, and naturally, she said yes. Going through the box was bittersweet… and, I had to explain what that word means. Each piece of clothing brought back specific memories with Dave or reminded me who he was.

To me, the saddest part of all is that Lydia doesn’t have memories of Dave. She just has his clothes, his pictures, and other people’s memories. Nonetheless, I validated Lydia’s emotions and acknowledged that it was normal to feel sad, angry, or even a sense of unfairness. As she grows, so does her grief.

I offered to wash her Daddy’s clothes so she could hold them close. Just about every week, she wears her Caterpillar sweatshirt and a couple of t-shirts honoring Dave. She quickly asked if she could wear them around the house or to sleep in some of them. Sure!

I started a load of laundry, never thinking I would wash those items again… Then, I coached Lydia how to handle those difficult emotions.

I explained that some people want to run away from their emotions or numb the pain in various ways. But that doesn’t really take care of the problem, it just prolongs it.

I encouraged Lydia to do the following. We can:

  1. Draw near to God, asking Him to help us through the pain. We can tell Jesus all about it. He understands and knows exactly what we need.
  2. Share our pain with someone trustworthy. Our feelings are not the only thing, but they still are valid. Not everyone will understand, but find someone who will let you cry it out, if needed, and who won’t just tell you to get over it.
  3. Sit with the pain, as long as needed. Just let it be. Try to get to the root of the problem to understand how to deal with it appropriately.
  4. Then, find someone else you can help with the lessons you learned. Be gentle and don’t assume that everyone wants to be helped. Trust God to use your pain to bring comfort and peace where it is needed most.

Lydia and I sat on the couch for quite awhile, maybe an hour. My legs were falling asleep, as she was snuggled on my lap. It was well past bedtime when I finally turned out her light. Parents want to shield their children from pain, but there are still some situations where that’s not possible.

The next day, I gave Dave’s clean clothes to Lydia. She embraced them and took them straight to her room. She picked out the largest sweatshirt she could find and wore it the rest of the day. She even slept in it and said she had the best sleep ever. Thank You, Jesus!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and that will look dramatically different for many of us. For me and Lydia, it’s par for the course. We’ve had seven years to adjust, but then again, we’ve been adjusting for seven years! Special days are still difficult at times.

This year, people around the world are missing their loved ones who either passed from COVID or who are socially distancing to protect themselves or others. I’m so sorry.

In the struggle, remember it’s normal to feel how you feel. Let it out and deal with it in healthy ways. Pray, journal, call your loved ones, take a nap, go for a walk, etc.

Also please remember you are loved. You are not alone. We are in this together, and God is here with us. Despite all we have lost, we still have so much to be thankful for.

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God, thanks for always being there for us, in the good times and bad. Thank you we can draw near to You at any time of day, no matter how we are feeling. Please be with each of us, and wrap us in Your love and grace. Help us keep our eyes on You, not our circumstances. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you altering your plans this holiday season? What is your favorite tradition, and can you put a new spin on it? What are you most thankful for this year?

Tasks: Make a gratitude list, or write down what is going well. Be on the lookout for ways you can encourage others. You might be surprised how God uses your pain to help someone else!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting

Finding Grace #246

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was went really well. We had a good Zoom meeting with family on Sunday, and we also made some Asian-style dumplings with a friend. We made some extras and enjoyed them for leftovers later in the week!

Work at the VA went well, and I got to fill in and work some additional hours. I appreciated the opportunity and am glad to help my team! I also received high marks on my performance evaluation, which makes me really grateful for God’s grace!

On Friday, my college students and I enjoyed a Zoom class event with other health disciplines. Then, I spent the rest of the day (before picking up Lydia) crossing off several items on my to-do list! It felt good to catch up around the house, make several calls, and drop off items in the mail.

Today is Lydia’s birthday. I am so thankful for my girl! She has been looking forward to this day for months!! Besides opening gifts from me, she received a number of cards and gifts in the mail. I really appreciate everyone’s generosity toward her! Thank you!

Today, we went shopping (errands), saw a good friend, ate some yummy food, and talked with family on the phone and via Zoom. Tonight, we are watching the Netflix movie, “Jingle Jangle.” It’s been a good day celebrating!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Parenting

Finding Grace #242

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was really good! Even though it is still autumn, it felt a little like winter! Lydia and I watched the Nutcracker (Four Realms) movie and are feeling festive!

We got a little snow this week, though there are many trees still with leaves! I ended up buying two new shovels, and I was proud of how well Lydia did! I also appreciated her good attitude!

My work week went well, and Lydia enjoyed a planned week off of school! She went to daycare, but had fun doing special art projects. She also had fun playing in the snow with her new boots and wool shirts and socks. I bought her some new clothing items for the season!

This week, I made some progress on a project and even organized some areas in my house. I always feel short on time, so I’m happy to have gotten some things done.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Parenting

Finding Grace #241

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week a little different than usual! It was good, though. On Monday, I had the day off work at the VA. I hosted a Zoom meeting with my college students and also got a massage. The massage was an interesting experience!

On Wednesday, Lydia stayed home, not feeling her best. Of course, I stayed home, too. It was unexpected, but nice to stay home and have a “free” day. Lydia rested and quietly read, while I worked on a project and did some grading. Perhaps it was just what we needed. Thankfully, Lydia felt better and went to school the next day.

Yesterday was a good, productive day! I taught my class in-person and did some “school work” like answering emails and grading. Then, I ran some errands and hung out with Lydia!

This week, I put up my outdoor Christmas lights. We also received some snow yesterday and today, which has already melted. But, it helped put me in the holiday mood!

Today, Lydia and I are doing science experiences and having a spa day. We are learning about the solar system and playing with our hair. I’m so grateful for my girl!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Prayer

Finding Grace #240

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was a great week! It was just as full, but for whatever reason, it was less stressful. Maybe it was because I went shopping one afternoon and even squeezed in a nap. At any rate, I was grateful for God’s grace and goodness.

On Wednesday, a friend took Lydia to church again. I went to pick her up a little later, but it was helpful to have some extra time at home preparing for the rest of the week.

Friday night was spent with the same friend (and others) at church praying for our nation. There are so many issues we are facing, personally and in our communities and beyond. Prayer is so important and I appreciated meeting together with these wise people as we sought the Lord’s help.

Today, Lydia and I enjoyed time outside at a local park and then went to a local farmer’s market. We bought some veggies and sampled a few treats. We also walked through part of a historical neighborhood enjoying the beautiful houses on this sunny day. Then, she played outside while I worked on a project and made veggie lasagna using the biggest zucchini I have ever seen!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Prayer, Wisdom, Words

Taming the Tongue

When my siblings and I were little, whenever we were mean to each other, our parents would make us apologize, ask for forgiveness, and then give each other a hug.

Did your parents do the same with you?

I practice something similar with Lydia, but since she is my only child, we often do this together. Yes, I have to model it if I want her to understand what to do!

Lydia also keeps me accountable in other ways, such as when I am driving.

“Grrr! Nice turn signal, Buddy!” Or, I may say some other variation of that. 😉

Then, Lydia will tell me, “Mom, you know they can’t hear you.”

“Thanks, Lydia. I’m just frustrated. They are driving really slow and not using their signals.” Or, maybe they pulled out in front of me, cutting me off. You get the idea.

Sometimes, I honk at the other car, too, though that doesn’t happen as often!

Recently, someone cut across traffic into my lane without any signals, and then moved slowly ahead. But, then I heard Lydia’s gentle reminder and calmed down. We were safe and… maybe they were lost. I took the cue to enjoy the slower pace and pray.

Soon this thought entered my mind: What if someday in Heaven, we each have to track down every person we hurt or offended… then apologize and ask them to forgive us?!

That includes every word, thought, or action. Even if they were unaware of what happened. That would cover yelling at other drivers, gossiping about other people, our written words, or even turning the odds in our favor instead of benefitting someone else.

Imagine walking up to someone and saying, “Um, you don’t know me, but I owe you an apology. I’m sorry I said those things about you…”

I’m sure several people would be “eating crow!”

Our words are so important. They have creative or destructive power.

This week, I fielded a crazy trolling comment on social media. The person didn’t really want to discuss or learn anyting. He just wanted to spout off angry sentiments that had nothing to do with my original, encouraging post.

The man kept implying that my life is all ‘hearts and flowers,’ as if I don’t have much depth or the experience to understand all he was talking about. Ironically, he said, “I might hurt your feelings, but…” not even realizing that he was justifying his own hurtful actions.

Yet, instead of becoming offended or escalating the issues, I simply diffused them. I knew it was useless to chat with a complete stranger online. The best thing I could do was pray for him. Plus, I was conscious of the impact of my words, even if he was not!

To be clear, I have not read anything in the Bible that says we will someday have to apologize to one another for our hurtful or careless words. Not that we shouldn’t apologize, rather because of Jesus’ death and blood, we are forgiven and God doesn’t punish us.

However, Proverbs 18:21 does point out that Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. We are accountable to God, and He will reward us for every good deed someday. So, I want my focus to be on doing things that honor Him.

Today, let’s pick our battles. Know when to speak up and when to remain silent. We don’t need to have the last word, but we can always choose to be godly. Let’s tame our tongues!

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God, You are so gracious. Thanks for Your forgiveness even before we blow it. Put a guard over our mouths and help us tame our tongues. May all we say and do bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Have you been building others up or tearing them down with your words?

Tasks: Read James 3:1-12. Pray about your words and repent/apologize if needed.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

Finding Grace #236

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a good week. I picked up a few extra hours at the VA and had a great time teaching my students. On Labor Day, I was off from the VA, but had two Zoom calls for Concordia. I was glad for the slower pace because the rest of the week was full!

On Wednesday, I mowed the lawn after work. I looked ahead and saw potential rain, so I took advantage of the timing and gorgeous weather. It was cool but calm! Mowing early in the week helped free me up later in the week. It did rain a little, but I also worked extra hours and had a few activities planned with Lydia. 

School went well for Lydia this week! She had fun learning and even was stretched as she tackled some personal fears with success. She seems to be adjusting well!

Today, a friend came over for our writer’s group. We always have fun discussing our ongoing projects. Then, Lydia and I did some cleaning and are relaxing tonight!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Prayer, Worship

The Same Power

Some weeks are smooth sailing, while others feel chaotic right from the start. Usually, most things go well enough, but there are days when it is difficult to stay on top of everything. This started out as one of those weeks! 🙂

I usually prefer to have at least a basic idea of what needs done when, but this week, I feel like I am still catching up. Periodically I have the nagging sense that I am forgetting something. I probably just need more sleep!

On Monday, I received three emails from students in my nutrition class, while at my other job. They were confused about what needed to be done. The students had misread the syllabus, so there was no real problem, but it was something I needed to address sooner rather than later.

Then, after work and daycare, I picked Lydia up. We made it home and were preparing for dinner before we needed to leave for an evening activity. We had enough time, so I decided to get a head start on the birthday treat I was going to make for someone at work.

That’s when I questioned if the treat I had planned was a good idea afterall. This person has a food allergy, and even though I planned ahead, I decided to buy something instead just to be safe. So, Lydia and I raced across town to visit a special bakery to by some allergen-friendly cookies before they closed. We just made it!

We had just enough time at home for a quick supper before the evening activity, a class for Lydia. She had a great time and was super chatty afterward. She wanted to play a game with me and kept on talking. She shared her heart on several topics indeed!

While I was listening to Lydia recap her day, I realized if I hadn’t bought the special cookies, I would have missed the quality time with her. She was so excited after her class, and it felt like a priceless opportunity. Someday, that may change, so I am soaking them up!

All of Monday’s events felt stressful at first glance. I really was just focused on getting through the next couple of days. But, when my plans failed, God reminded me His ways are better. He even gave me time with Lydia in the evening that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

Tuesday also turned out differently than planned, but this time, I just rolled with it. I prayed for God’s help, and He blessed my day. I didn’t accomplish everything on my list, but I did my best and had peace about it. His grace is sufficient!

18 “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. 22 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”– Ephesians 1:18-23, NIV

I’m so glad we don’t have do life solo or in our own strength. Our success in life does not depend entirely upon what us! Sure, we each have to do our part, but we can rely on Almighty God. He is the One we live for, and His Spirit is ready to helps us. (Zechariah 4:6)

If you belong to God, you have full access to God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit… the very same power that raised Jesus from the dead is alive in us. Don’t forget it!

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God, thanks for all You do for me. Thanks for the gentle reminders that I should depend on Your strength alone. I choose to rely on Your Power, Lord, which far exceeds any of my problems. Help me persevere and walk victoriously with You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How is your week going so far? Are you operating in your own efforts and resources or are you relying on and asking God for His limitless strength and grace?

Tasks: Listen to this song, by Jeremy Camp, and memorize Romans 8:11.

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Prayer

Finding Grace #229

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a heavy and emotional week. A friend’s brother back home died unexpectedly, and many hearts were broken. It is a sad and difficult situation, and I hope the community can pull together and support my friend’s family. It will be a long road to healing.

I made some good progress on several projects this week, but I also realized how much more I have to do on all of them! It’s all good, though. I am grateful to have so many ‘outlets’ that bring joy. Lydia telling me she is proud of me is icing on the cake!

Yesterday, I had three enriching conversations with people. I felt excited and fulfilled to talk with people who ‘get’ me. Altogether, I spent nearly five hours on the phone! On two calls, I walked around the house and got well over 10,000 steps!

Today, I worked on my projects more, mowed, and spent quality time with Lydia. The next two weeks are fairly full, so I am trying to get things done ahead of time. I am trying to make plans, while also trying to relax!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

A Short List

Well, this has been a full week so far. On Monday, I received some awful news that a friend’s brother died in his sleep. A husband and father of two. A beloved son, brother, and friend to many. It was completely unexpected, and it certainly rocked the small community where I grew up. This hit home for many reasons, besides the fact that he was about Dave’s age.

Sadly, this is not the first young man I grew up with, who has suddenly passed away in my peer group or hometown. My dear friend and classmate, Seth, died when we were in high school. In college, my cousin, Nick, died, as well as another friend, Wes. More recently, these premature deaths included another classmate, Clint, and another friend, Ryan, among others. And now, Nathan. All different circumstances, but tragic nonetheless.

I explained a little of my heartache to Lydia, but there is so much she does not yet understand. Even though Dave died when she was little, she doesn’t remember him. She doesn’t feel the anguish I have felt over the years, especially as death steals away those we know and love. Of course, she feels a different pain than I do.

Still, this week has had many silver linings. Celebrating life with Lydia on a fancy dress-up day at daycare. My brother’s birthday. Progress on a couple projects. Cheering a friend on a difficult path. Talking with my family and remembering the brevity of life.

If you are still alive, God has given you much grace and much mercy. I hope you will acknowledge His deep love for you today. Reach out to Him; He is right there with you.

Through several texts, my family had a side conversation about grace and forgiveness, and I was reminded to keep ‘a short list’ with others. We never know when our time is up.

When I think about my interactions with others, I think about how I want to be remembered. What will people say about me when I die? Will it be positive or mixed? Did I focus on what really matters? That is, loving God and loving people.

Furthermore, if my actions today set the stage for how I will be remembered, what should I be doing differently? I want to live my life fully with no regrets, doing all God has for me to do before He calls me HOME. Hopefully, many decades from now!

My ‘short list’ includes extending grace and forgiveness to others; telling my family and close friends how much I love them; encouraging people; staying present with Jesus; and telling others by telling others how He changed my life. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, so do the most important things today!

Indeed, life is so short, and in our current circumstances every situation seems full of drama and uncertainty. This year has been loaded, for sure. It can be scary at times, but, we do not have to fear death or anything else!

We will never have all the answers for why bad things happen. There are so many variables, and the rain falls on us all. The best thing you can do is to let Jesus be your PEACE. He’s got this.

When I meet Jesus face to face, I will give an account about how I lived my life. None of my good works will make a difference for whether or not I get into Heaven. The only thing that matters is if I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior on Earth.

The good things I do will be rewarded, yes, but only if I know Jesus first! We can never be good enough on our own. So, it boils down to this: Knowing Jesus as Lord and Savior.

I am thankful that everything that really matters is secure in Jesus. He comforts us in the midst of tragedies and redeems our pain. Death does not get the final word!

God is Our Rock and Our Refuge. Everything we need is in Him!

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God, thank You for the gift of Life. Please comfort those who are facing grief and loss today. Continue to walk with them and draw them near to You. Pour out Your love on them, Jesus. In Your Name, Amen

Questions: What is on your ‘short list’ in life? How do you want people to remember you? What are you doing differently as a result? (if anything)

Tasks: Call or send a card (or if appropriate, show up!) to comfort those who are struggling right now. This could include grief, loss, physical health, mental health, or other COVID related issues. Be the hands and feet of Jesus!