Category: Journey of Grace

Perspective on our cancer journey

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Procrastination

After the Leap

Did you do anything special to celebrate Leap Day this week?

For me, it was mostly like a regular day. Nonetheless, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Lydia in her gymnastics class. There were moments when I laughed wholeheartedly at the kids’ antics. They were trying so hard!

Their attempts at cartwheels, crab walks, and the balance beam had me rolling. These cute tumblers practiced somersaults and log rolls. They jumped on a trampoline, chased each other, and crawled through tunnels. The kids had such joy!

There was plenty of leaping, jumping and even some marching. When the kids fell, they got back up. When they failed, they started over. Occasionally, they asked the teacher for help. Other times, they skipped over a station if they didn’t know what to do. Interestingly, none of the kiddos were concerned if they landed correctly or not.

They were carefree and having fun!

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As you know, February 29th only comes every four years. That’s 1461 days. Yet, it goes by quickly. When I consider that four years ago, I had an infant and today, I have a preschooler…WOW!!

I also think about all that has happened in those four years, including a baby, parenthood, cancer, widowhood, grief, hard work, writing, serving, and lifelong friends.

Perhaps the last four years have turned out differently than you expected. Likely, you faced some disappointments too. Yet, most things turned out way better than I could have ever imagined. I am grateful and forever amazed to see God’s hand in it all.

It’s curious that there are a few days between Leap Day and March 4th (Forth)… What happens between leaping and marching forward? To me, that middle ground represents that transition time spent adjusting… changing… waiting… and overcoming doubt. It’s like the struggle before the victory. After the leap, it’s necessary to steady your feet before you can take any ground.

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Maybe you leaped into a new venture recently and aren’t sure what to do next. It probably looked exciting at first, but are you facing uncertainty now? Maybe you didn’t land where you anticipated or you’ve lost your footing.

Remember: It’s okay to pause and ask the Teacher for direction or clarity. God is eager to help us when we ask! Take some time and regroup, sure. Refocus and get some perspective.

Find your balance, yes. But don’t wait too long and don’t let fear stop you. “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (1 Timothy 1:7).

Taking things day by day can make time seem slow—and it can be difficult to see progress. But don’t be discouraged or lose hope. By faith, trust that God’s plan for you is good. Get excited about what He is doing and have fun! There’s great joy in His presence!

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“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him” (Psalm 28:7).

Whatever happens in the next 1461 days, don’t worry about the outcome or end results! Let the Lord set your pace. Soon you’ll look back with amazement at how far you’ve come. And yes, God will work it for good if you trust Him (see Romans 8:28).

So keep your head up and keep marching!

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God, You know all of our days before any of them ever occur. Thank You for being with us on each step of our journey. Helps us keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What would you like to see happen during these next four years? What steps are you taking to move forward?

Posted on in Food and Nutrition, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

Tacos and TLC

What (or Who) comes to your mind when you think about love?

For me, of course I think of Dave because he was my husband, friend, and partner. He always treated me so well. And when I think of Dave…I think of tacos!

Tacos were one of Dave’s favorite meals, so we ate them often. He would do all the chopping—we added a ton of vegetables—and I would prepare the other items. He prepped the lettuce, onions, tomatoes, peppers, carrots, etc. so well I am convinced he was better at it than me. It’s true!

Taco Nachos

What started off as a simple act of service (a favor to save me time one night) became an act of love. I will always remember Dave’s servant heart because it carried over to everything he did!

Sometimes we think ‘love’ has to be flashy…this might include being serenaded with a sappy song, a dozen red roses, or gigantic boxes of chocolate. But for me, love is in the simple things. Dave put TLC into chopping vegetables because it was important to me.

 “Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people” (Ephesians 6:7, NLT).

Since he died, tacos just aren’t the same! I still enjoy the same foods, but miss Dave’s enthusiasm for chopping vegetables. I have added meal preparation to the list of things I do differently now, which also includes household chores and shopping.

Note: Eating tacos someone else makes is another story!

Black Bean and Corn Salsa Recipe

Instead of regular tacos, I now make a variation on them, like taco salad or fajitas. Or I make “taco nachos” serving the same ingredients over a few tortilla chips. 🙂 I add a little plain Greek yogurt instead of sour cream for a protein and calcium boost. Most of the time, I skip the cheese because my plate is already full enough!

When cooking, I enjoy mixing and matching colors, textures and flavors! Above you’ll find my recipe for Black Bean and Corn Salsa (click on it to make it bigger). It is basic, but delicious. In fact, Lydia requests it often and will eat it plain, with just a spoon!

We use this Black Bean and Corn Salsa as a base for other dishes too. We add it to salads, pizza, and chili. Let me know how you like it!

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We all have the opportunity to show love every day. It doesn’t have to be flashy or expensive. Often, the most simple acts, done with love, speak the loudest. A little TLC goes a long way…and can impact us for a long time afterward.

Whether or not you have a Valentine this year, remember you are loved! Since many of us take care of everyone else first, go ahead and treat yourself! You deserve some TLC too.

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Thank You, God, for Your TLC. Thank You for showing us love each and every day. Give us eyes to see all the wonderful things You do for us. Help us walk in grace as we depend on You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Do you have any Valentine’s Day traditions? Do you have a favorite “goes with anything” recipe?

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Wisdom

Learning to Love Plan B

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength—carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie ten Boom

As a planner, I enjoy knowing what to expect. But for most of my life, I was also a world-class worrier. In hindsight, I know my worries were rooted in fear…because God’s plans for me are good (Jeremiah 29:11).

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Fear sucks the life out of the present moment and causes needless anxiety. Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

Worrying steals from Today as we obsess over future “what ifs” that may never happen. When we seek His presence, we stay in the present moment. There is no room for fear!

Worrying kills the joy that comes with expecting God’s goodness and blessings. When we anticipate what He will do on our behalf, there is excitement. If it’s God’s plan, it will not fail!

Worrying destroys our faith in God’s grace and provision. By holding onto our imperfect plans, we hinder God’s best for our lives. When we pray instead of worry, our trust grows. God empowers us and makes us brave as we move forward!

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Planning for contingencies is wise preparation. But worrying adds no value to the end result. Plans frequently change, yet God’s peace is constant. Hence, the lack of peace is a reminder to let Him lead (see Colossians 3:15).

It seems Life is like being guided through an obstacle course while blindfolded in deep woods. God alone knows the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10). He designed the specific way each of us should go, according to His unique and special plan for us.

Here is how I imagine it: One person is guided to the left to bypass a tree, while someone else is directed to duck under a branch. Still another person crawls over muddy roots to avoid disaster. We may go in the same general direction, but God builds character through different life circumstances. (Cue Plans B, C, and D…)

When blindfolded, the weaving, bobbing, and details just don’t make sense. Only as we look backward does clarity come. It can be challenging to trust God to lead us forward. And, we might get a few scratches along the way. But the other option is to ignore God’s vision and run into a tree, figuratively, of course. 🙂 We walk by faith, not by sight.

Plan B

We don’t have to worry. In fact, God command us: “Do not fear.” While we can’t always see the path, we can walk with God each day. He will prepares us for what is ahead. On this lifelong adventure, it would be foolish to move ahead of Him. Let’s plan to trust God!

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NLT).

When Dave got cancer and died, my worst fears came true! But God’s grace held fast. When everything fell apart, He remained in control. When I relinquished my ideas (Plan A) for His greater plan, I was finally freed from fear and worry. As I learn to love Plan B, there is joy in the journey. God continues to take care of all that concerns me. Praise the Lord!

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God, thank You for working on our behalf. Give us wisdom as we make plans. Help us not get ahead of You and Your perfect timing. Thank You for Plan B. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What do you tend to worry about? Can you envision what it would be like to not worry anymore? What can you “let go” of to have more peace?

 

 

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Procrastination

To the Girls in the Bookstore

Last week marked my 8th wedding anniversary. Dave and I were married 5+ years, and I am so thankful for the time we had together. We were married aboard a cruise ship, Majesty of the Seas, in the Port of Miami. Approximately forty of our closest friends and family joined us for a trip to the Bahamas and Key West. It was a trip to remember!

Like a good husband, God is always so gracious to me—it just so happened last week (on my anniversary) that a neighbor gave me a belated Christmas gift and another friend brought us dinner. I love that God had it in the works to bless me!

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Around that time, I was writing at the bookstore and overheard a conversation. I know one of the girls through mutual friends. Actually, I have only met her once but know she got married over the summer. She and her friend were talking about newlywed things.

Plans, hopes, dreams and goals.

While I wasn’t intentionally listening, our tables were in close proximity. So I loosely caught details while trying to work. These girls were discussing future travel plans, when something my acquaintance said struck me.

She said, “For our ten year anniversary, we are going to…”

Now, I didn’t know them well enough to interrupt their conversation. And I didn’t want my emotions to squash their excitement. But here’s what I’d say to the girls in the bookstore:

“Take the trip. If it’s possible, do it sooner rather than later. Don’t wait. Life often turns out differently than planned. There have been many good, unexpected twists and turns over the years. But we don’t have any guarantees of even tomorrow.

So take the trip.

We have a tendency to put things off, important things in lieu of the urgent. But don’t delay. Married or not, perfect home or not, dream job or not, ideal body weight or not—live to the fullest today because Life is so short.

I am not saying to ‘break the bank’ in order to do fun things or to simply ‘live for today.’ I am not recommending irresponsibility or neglect. Make good plans for the future, yes, but trust God to direct your path.”

Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.“

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Most of Life’s greatest joys require no money at all. Spend time with those you love. Celebrate and cherish the fun moments. Forgive and let go of grudges. Enjoy good food and don’t chase a number on a scale. Serve others and extend grace to those who need it. Be kind and generous. Use your words to build up people. Don’t let today pass without doing the most important things. (The dishes and laundry can wait.)

Dave and I made plans. But ultimately, God directed our steps. We had a beautiful cruise ship wedding and enjoyed our marriage. We worked hard and served our community. We traveled and played well. We jumped into Life as an adventure with God. Of course, I would have loved to have more time. But our time was well spent.

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My life looks different now. It is important to me to relish these preschool days with Lydia…because all too soon, that will change. Today, this meant morning snuggles and painting little finger nails. Occasionally, we eat oatmeal with sprinkles on top or chocolate-dipped strawberries—just because. Some days, we stay home to enjoy a quiet day instead of running errands. (Those are good days to catch up with the dishes and laundry!)

So, to the girls in the bookstore: Take the trip. Don’t delay. Make plans, but remember Life is short. Seek God’s plan on purpose…and live well today.

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God, thank You for filling our lives with Your goodness. Help us make the most of each day as we live for You. We trust You to lead us on right paths. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What changes are you considering to make the most of your time? Is there someone you can encourage along the way?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Wisdom

2015 Favorite Posts

Hello! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends!

This year, I’ve challenged myself to do new things and keep moving forward. It’s been an amazing journey while seeking God’s sweet and refreshing grace. His love never fails.

To wrap up 2015, here is an index to some of my favorite posts.

Enjoy these posts, and I will see you next week…in 2016! 🙂

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1)From Ordinary to Extraordinary

(My first published blog post helped set the stage for our life now.)

2)What I Learned from a Cup of Milk

(A parenting insight during a meltdown from a few years ago.)

3)Grace and Ice Cream

(I wanted to take Lydia for ice cream, but she was throwing a fit.)

4)Father Knows Best

(A little story about God’s perfect timing as we continue moving forward.)

5)A Road Trip, Relaxation and Pie

(I love pie and beautiful views!)

6)Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

(One of the biggest lessons I learned in our cancer journey; this is where it all started.)

7)Favorite Nancy!

(Who doesn’t have a favorite Nancy?!)

8)Tomatoes and Better Days Ahead

(A poor, neglected tomato plant brought me tremendous hope during a dark time.)

9)Put on Your Pants!

(On procrastination and just doing what we are supposed to do!)

10)God’s Grace and Glory in Wyoming

(Another road trip with beautiful scenery and great friends…)

11)On Rivendell and Rest

(For LOTR fans, a great parallel on finding rest in God.)

12)Race Toward Grace!

(Going into the new year, let’s race toward grace!)

13)Got Stress? Get Grace!

(For all the times when we are still trying to run the entire solar system…)

14)The Significance of Our Stories

(This one has a video link at the bottom. God still works in the midst of our difficult stories.)

15)A Preschool Pick-Me-Up

(My most popular post thus far. My little one set me straight!)

16)Tidings of Comfort and Joy

(God brings us comfort during our trials and joy in our pain. Praise God!)

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Well, that’s it for now. Thanks for reading!

“The amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate friendship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you” (2 Corinthians 13:14).

 

 

 

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Wisdom

Rejoice! God Is with Us!

I previously mentioned this holiday season took me by surprise with the amount of grief I have experienced. I didn’t expect to sail through the holidays, of course. But it’s been more intense and has lasted longer than I expected.

Really, it has been a few months—from Halloween, Lydia’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Dave’s birthday last week, Christmas, to our wedding anniversary coming up in early January. However, God has been faithfully reminding me of His love.

With each year that goes by, Lydia is older, understands more, and asks more questions— especially about Dave and God. In fact, she is talking about Dave nearly every day now.

I’ve heard it is generally wise to explain things to a child at his or her level of understanding. Two years ago, for our first holiday season without Dave, Lydia adored babies. They were her point of reference for everything in her little world. Lydia was very interested in Baby Jesus which helped guide our Christmas conversation.

As she asks me more specific questions about Dave, I point her to Jesus. If Lydia knows who Jesus is and that He is GOOD, she’ll understand that Dave/Daddy is safe with Jesus.

It helps me to reflect on that too.

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In explaining the Christmas story to Lydia, I’ve been able to see it through a fresh lens. It is so simple. The word “gospel” means good news… and I can’t think of ANY better news than this! “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:16-17).

While Christmas is still difficult for us without Dave, we celebrate Jesus! Isaiah 9:6 says, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Praise the King of Kings!!

O come, O come Emmanuel!
(third verse)

“O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer,
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.”

Jesus makes all the difference.

Knowing Jesus means that someday I will see Dave and other loved ones again. Because of Jesus, Lydia will get to meet her Daddy again. He gives us Victory over the grave…and grief.

Over these last few years, God challenged and conquered all my fears. I don’t have to be afraid because He is with me. In Christ I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28). With Him, I don’t have to do Life alone. I can have His love, joy, and peace today!

Whatever you are dealing with, take heart. With Jesus, there is HOPE. He brings good news to the poor, comforts the brokenhearted, and sets the captives free. He gives us favor with God (see Isaiah 61:1-3). He offers new life and purpose. Jesus changes everything.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

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Thank You, God, for loving us so much. Thanks for Your grace and favor. Help us walk in the freedom You have given us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

This holiday season, I’m enjoying how ecstatic Lydia is for Christmas! She loved decorating her own little tree. At church, Lydia and her friends are practicing Christmas carols to sing in front of our congregation. Yay for sparkly dresses!

Lydia also listens intently to the Christmas carols on the radio and provides commentary. It has made for many interesting conversations. “Mom, is Jesus is the King?” And then, “But Jesus is not the angry king—that was somebody else.” (She was thinking of King Herod!)

Noting Lydia’s interest in Christmas carols, I decided to take her to a special Christmas concert this week. I can’t wait for her interpretation of the songs! Pretty much every song becomes Lydia’s favorite… 🙂

Though, I debated about going at all because this holiday season has taken me by surprise. I have been sadder than I expected due to a combination of factors. Most often, these things don’t cause sorrow. But sometimes, it just all adds up.

It took me awhile to recognize what I was feeling: a new wave of grief. It’s not sadness 24/7, but for me, it ebbs and flows. A dear friend prayed with me, validated my concerns, and made me laugh. Just getting it all out—acknowledging the struggle—was so helpful. Now, my heart is light again.

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Note these famous words of the Christmas carol, “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.”
“God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan’s power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy”

Christ Jesus brings rest, comfort and joy. He sustains us with His mighty strength. Jesus came to do for us what we could not do for ourselves. What a relief!

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If you are finding it difficult to ‘be merry’ this Christmas season…

Take some time to reflect. Stop and acknowledge whatever you are feeling. It’s okay. Don’t run from your feelings. Allow yourself to feel the emotions (however awful); you’ll ultimately grow stronger. Each time, your heart heals a little more. Trust in God’s timing and love during this tender process. (see Philippians 4:6-8)

Then, call a friend. Share your struggle with someone you trust. There’s no need to bear it alone. Give voice to your pain; call it what it is. Ask God to bring His hope and healing. “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7, NLT).

Also, take good care of yourself. Go to a special event, like a Christmas concert. Buy yourself flowers …or an orange poinsettia! Try this five-day Bible reading plan on grief during the holidays. Maybe take a nap, read a book, squeeze in a walk/run, or get a massage.

Finally, relax your expectations of the season. Celebrate those traditions that bring comfort, and hold off on the others. Keep it simple. Loss affects many people. You might feel better by helping someone else, so find a friend who needs encouragement too.

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If you are comforting a grieving friend or family member, here are some tips for you: Remember everyone’s grief is different. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but it does help. Grief can come at the most random moments—that’s normal. Grief cannot be “fixed” but it’s invaluable to know a good listener. Don’t press them to talk, but let them know you care. Invite them out or bring them a meal. Given the freedom to grieve, the feelings of loss may dissipate sooner.

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God doesn’t expect us to have it all together. So receive God’s grace and come to Him, just as you are. You are dearly loved. He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11)!

Remember: Jesus already knows. And yes, He is the King!

Father God, thank You for Jesus! Thanks for Your peace, grace, and joy. Wrap Your loving arms around those who need comfort and healing during this season. Help them perceive  Your presence and Your love. Give them rest as they wait on You to heal their hearts. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Wisdom

A Preschool Pick-Me-Up

Lydia and I were in the car earlier this week, listening to the radio on our way home. She was energetic after playing with friends, but I was feeling depleted. I wasn’t quite myself, and the dreary weather didn’t help my attitude.

Soon we heard these words on the radio: “Jesus, He loves me, He loves me, He is for me…” Now Lydia loves the original “Jesus Loves Me,” but this one, by Chris Tomlin, is a new rendition of the classic song.

Preoccupied with my thoughts, I hadn’t paid much attention to the song lyrics. Lydia’s matter-of-fact statement snapped me out of my funky mood. “Mom,” she said with a sigh, “Jesus already knows He loves me.” I smiled at her misinterpretation. In her childlike way, Lydia was irritated at the ‘suggestion’—as if Jesus could ever forget His love for us. As if!

With a jolt, I understood I needed the reminder of God’s love. I hope Lydia is always confident in Jesus’ love for her and boldly proclaims, “Jesus already knows…” To remember He knows what I am going through…to know He cares…and that He is with me is powerful. I can be joyful because of His love for me!

(photo credits: Becca Albertson)

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For me, joy is found where gratitude, grace and peace converge. Giving thanks focuses my attention on God’s goodness. I find joy when I accept God’s grace in exchange for my effort and His peace for my chaos. Sometimes it just takes my preschooler to remind me!

This may be a difficult time of the year for you. I understand. Holidays can remind us of loss, as we miss loved ones around the table. You may feel lonely, but with Jesus, you are never truly alone. For me, it is bittersweet because later this week is Lydia’s birthday—her third one without Dave. Nonetheless, I will celebrate the beautiful girl God has given me!

I choose to rejoice in the small things, because those really become the big things! Lydia and I enjoy warm morning cuddles and making banana muffins together. We share silly jokes over popcorn, laugh at our ‘dollar store’ treasures, and pretend we can dance (ahem).

Similarly, I am learning to embrace a slower pace while Lydia is young. This requires making plans to rest instead of resting when my plans are finished (which rarely happens). This includes reading more good books together, instead of booking my schedule. I am thankful for the ability to do that right now because someday that will change.

“This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).

True joy goes beyond feelings of mere happiness. Joy brings steadfastness in sorrow or uncertainty. We might not enjoy a difficult situation, but it’s possible to rejoice in the final outcome. My mom is a great example of choosing joy in the midst of pain. She is excited to undergo knee replacement surgery this week. My mom is thrilled to finally get relief after many years; her surgeon said her x-rays are the worst he’s ever seen!

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Joy may look different for you. But we can all give thanks for God’s love.

Give thanks for His strength to stand firm during trials. “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

Give thanks for His peace as He guides us on our journey. “You shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace” (Isaiah 55:12).

Give thanks for His presence along the way. He is always for us! In His presence is fullness of joy (see Psalm 16:11).

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Lord, thank You for daily reminders of Your love. Guide us with Your grace. Thank You for filling us with joy! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What brings you joy? What are you thankful for?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

The Significance of Our Stories (Video Testimony)

“The thing about telling your story is that it helps you believe you have a story to tell.”—Sarah Mackey, NaNoWriMo

 There is freedom as we share the stories of our lives—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Our stories have the power to encourage others on their journey. Stories have potential to turn a stranger into a new friend. We can connect with family and friends across generations. We can learn how to live a better life.

I have been changed as I understand the significance of telling my story. As I piece it all together, I’ve seen patterns in my story and these have helped clarify my goals and purpose. To recognize my imperfections, and be ‘okay’ with them is healing.

There’s a song called My Story, by Big Daddy Weave, and I love these words:

“If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him”

At the end of the day, how we frame our stories is vital. In Hebrews 12:2, it says that Jesus is the Author and Perfecter of our faith. Our individual lives and stories matter because they are part of His larger story. It is His story we are living.

As a writer, I love that some versions of Hebrews 12:2 even state that Jesus is the Editor or Finisher of our faith…praise God! I don’t have to write the perfect life story or know exactly how it ends. I can leave the precious details in the hands of the Artist.

We all face defeat or failure in our day-to-day journeys. But those moments are merely a paragraph on the page. As you consider your story, be strong and courageous. Don’t believe the lie that your story doesn’t matter. God can do far more than we can ask or imagine, if we let Him. Trust in Jesus for the victorious outcome. He is in control.

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“Because Your love is better than Life, my lips will praise you!” (Psalm 63:3)

Recently, my pastor asked me to share my story (or ‘testimony’) about what God has done in my life. The recording (linked below) was used for a sermon series, with a few other videos. Our church was setting its core values which represent our church culture, and this one highlights the importance of being connected to each other in meaningful ways.

We were not meant to do Life alone.

I want to share it because it helps explain the unique ways God worked in our situation. As we experience God in personal ways, we can live the Life that He has made for us.

I also want to point out that the video is not really about me or anything I have done. It is all about God’s faithfulness to bring me through with His grace and love. God uses people to show His character traits; yes, we can be a willing extension of Him to others.

Of course, all the footage was edited down to only a few minutes for time and intent. Therefore, it only hints at the gratitude I have for all the help, support, encouragement, and general rallying around us on this journey. It has made all the difference for us.

Thank you!

You can find the video here: https://vimeo.com/142877469

Father God, thank You for redeeming our pain and rewriting our stories with Your grace. All glory, honor, and praise to You! Help us live Your story. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Personality

On Rivendell and Rest

Before Dave and I got married, I had a little list of things I wanted to do. It sounds funny now, but watching the Lord of the Rings series one more time was on my list! I love the epic story line between good and evil. I love the beautiful scenery too! And of course, the hero wins.

When Dave died 5+ years later, God took my mind back to Rivendell. At the end of the story, Frodo goes there to recover after his arduous adventure. In the movie, Rivendell is a gorgeous citadel nestled in the mountains. It’s characterized by towering waterfalls, beautiful light and even soft music. There’s a sense that everything is going to be okay…

After our own trip through what felt like Hell, God used the imagery of Rivendell to teach me about His peace, provision, and rest. The contrast was striking.

I am somewhat task-oriented; I thrive on to-do lists, sticky notes, plans and goals! Right away, I felt overwhelmed by extra responsibilities, which Dave would’ve done otherwise. I felt like it was “all on me” to keep the house in working order, pay the bills, discipline and take care of Lydia—not to mention working, preparing food, and trying to sleep.
Even in my grief, I knew could not do it all.

Then, in the midst of turmoil, God’s peace filled my heart. It was a supernatural calm, one I cannot adequately describe. Rivendell doesn’t do it justice!

In my mind’s eye, God gave me a similar sense of rest and tranquility, safety and security. It was extremely comforting. I didn’t need a game plan; I just needed to recuperate.

I knew, eventually, my heart would heal enough to take on other things. But in the meanwhile, I let God do the heavy stuff. True to His Word, He gave me “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

Peaceful waterfalls

Slowly, God’s grace started to change—and heal—my heart. It was as if He told me just to rest, and in His time, He would see to it that everything was accomplished. And then, God’s generous grace for me allowed me to give myself grace.

I felt like God literally moved my personality default to a more laid back disposition. I realized I didn’t have to do everything, but only the most important things. I reorganized a few systems, like responding to mail and paying bills. I asked for help when needed. God also provided friends to help with outside housework, like mowing the lawn.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

As I clung to the Lord for support—minute by minute at times—I relaxed my standards and let some things go. I decided “close enough is good enough” for many tasks. At the time, I just needed to focus on Lydia and grieving well.

I may always be a checklist person! But now, I focus on what is most important—that is, joining God in the work He has for me. No more, no less. I am glad we can live in freedom and rest, knowing God is in control!

Because of His gracious love, we can live in peace and receive His provision.

God takes it personally upon Himself to help us. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we can walk in grace, peace and Victory. Thank You, Jesus!

Questions: Can you think of any epic story lines or movies that have paralleled your journey? What have you learned?

What is God asking you to let Him handle, so you can walk in Victory?