Category: Journey of Grace

Perspective on our cancer journey

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Wisdom, Worship

Turning Trials into Triumph

Happy September! We had a great first day of preschool on Tuesday! Of course, Lydia did awesome. I kept it together (mostly) and tried to enjoy the change of pace as well!

First Day of Preschool 2016

Though, on Monday, Lydia played with several friends in the neighborhood. One last hurrah! Thankfully, Lydia was out of earshot when a little girl asked me:

“Where’s her father?”

Surprised at the question, I explained that he had been sick and is now in heaven. The little girl nodded her head with genuine concern and said, “Oh… that happened to my dog, too!” And then she went back to playing with the other kids.

What a perceptive little girl! She must’ve known all the other dads were at work. While I didn’t expect her question, I was glad she had the courage to ask. Her cute little response made me smile!

Then, on Monday night, Lydia and I talked about preschool as we ate dinner. I told Lydia how proud of her Dave would be. I also reminded her of what she could say if someone asks about him. It doesn’t happen often, but I want her to be comfortable and prepared.

After we laid out Lydia’s new outfit, a sparkly green dress, I painted her nails to match. Then, we read The Night Before Preschool and said our prayers. Lydia was asleep in no time. She was ready…

crayons

ME, on the other hand? …Let’s just say I needed some time with Jesus!

There wasn’t anything really ‘wrong.’ I was excited for Lydia!

But emotions welled up as I reflected on how far we’ve come—and my conversation with our new little friend. The actual words hadn’t bothered me; it was an honest question. But I was upset that we had to have the conversation. A subtle difference, sure!

I could’ve wallowed there for quite some time. Ahem. But I didn’t. I took it to Jesus, because I know He loves me so much. And praise God, He helped me turn it around!

I gave Him my sadness and concerns. I chose to praise the Lord with thankfulness instead. Then, slowly my heart grew glad as He reminded me that He will go with Lydia.

And, yes, He’s got this!

Psalm 145_13

Now I’m taking a *wild* guess here, but I bet you are facing some changes or challenges of your own. Maybe it’s a really good transition you have been praying about, like a new job or school. Or, perhaps there are heavy burdens on your heart—things you didn’t see coming. An unexpected circumstance popped up and you don’t know what to do. Maybe you have been dealing with the same difficulties for awhile with no relief in sight.

Don’t worry. God’s got this!

At the beginning of the school year, teachers often conduct a basic review to assess what  students have already learned. It can also be helpful for us to review all the trials God has brought us through. When we see our circumstances in the light of His goodness, we can see He has a plan. And, we can trust Him more going forward.

The Lord excels at turning trials into triumph!

(To be clear, I don’t look at how far I have brought myself, for that is not worth much.)

It’s the Lord who has carried me all these years. He is my Shepherd!

When I don’t know what to do, He is my Wonderful Counselor and Prince of Peace.

His Presence is always with me, and He will never leave me to fend for myself.

When I am afraid, He is Protector, my Shield, my Refuge, and my Defense.

He loves me with an everlasting love. (Which is A LOT!!)

I know God has good plans—filled with hope—for my future.

He always keeps His promises; He is faithful to complete every good work He starts.

Yes, it’s safe to say Lydia’s in good hands this year. Besides having wonderful, caring teachers, God’s got her covered. Of course He does…He loves her even more than I do!

And if you let Him, God will take good care of you too!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for all the ways You care for us. Help us make the most of these new opportunities. Help us grow in grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What changes or challenges are you facing? Do you believe God can handle it?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

A Heart and Home Make-Over

This last month, I have been redecorating and reorganizing my house. It all started when I replaced my plain eight-year-old shower curtain with a more colorful one! Woohoo…

😉

Before long, I noticed how much the shower curtain brightened the bathroom and my mood. I hadn’t planned on revamping my entire house, but soon that’s what happened!

new shower curtain

One day, my neighbor came over and helped me assemble a little side table I had bought. We discussed where to put it and came up with several options. Two hours flew by as our kids played and we rearranged my upstairs!

We moved two chairs in the living room, and noticed the (old) side table didn’t really “fit” in my new plan. So, I sold the entire matching set, including the coffee table from my basement. As I removed furniture no longer serving its purpose, I grew more excited.

I began to see my house differently, as I sensed God filling me with creativity.

Ultimately, I also sold with my dining room table with eight chairs—most were stored in closets around the house—and replaced it with a smaller set. I parted with my patio table and ten chairs—way too many for us—and received a bistro table and two chairs as a birthday gift.

My house looks so trim now!

table

Yes, this last month has been a refreshing experience for me! I have sold or given away many items, and returned things borrowed from friends.

Still, most of the changes have been ‘in-house.’

For example, I hung up pictures and wall décor, which instantly made my house more inviting. I moved tables, chairs and bookcases, opening up a ton of space.

I cleaned and reorganized my office and gained mental clarity as a result! I am so pleased to see the immediate changes in my environment. I’m amazed at how lighthearted I feel!

stairway

And then, to top it all off, I decided to re-stain my deck! It had been done two summers ago, but was looking worn. With the boost of energy I gained from my inside home makeover, I felt empowered to tackle the outside too.

Two years ago, Lydia was far too young to get much accomplished on my own. I often needed help with inside and outside house maintenance.

Even simple tasks felt like a chore when combined with grief and an active toddler.

Back then, six or seven men from church spent several hours one Saturday staining the deck, laying mulch, and organizing the garage. What a blessing that was! This time, however, I decided to attempt it on my own.

Earlier in the month, a friend helped pressure-washed the deck. Another friend gave me a few tips and walked me through the process. (I’m sure they would have helped more if I truly needed it.) But I was eager to finish it before cooler weather comes.

My goal was to have the deck completed by Labor Day, and I did it a week earlier than planned! I’m proud of myself for accomplishing a time-consuming task like this. What’s more, Lydia played all afternoon with the neighbors, helping me focus! (Many thanks!)

sitting area

My house definitely feels more like home now. Everywhere I look, I see something that makes me smile. What a difference a few updates can make!

Indeed, small changes can yield growth mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Of course, before we can move forward in life, we have to let go of what is in the past. It can be a lengthy process…and that’s okay.

I’m curious how this will set the stage for new memories as we step into the fall. I’m also interested what the impact will be as we move toward the holidays. Last year was more difficult emotionally than I thought it would be…

green picture

Yet regardless of what the coming seasons hold, I trust God’s wisdom in prompting me to make these updates. He knows exactly what I need in order to keep moving forward.  I’m grateful He provides creative inspiration and direction along with peace and joy.

He renews us day by day, and has good things in store. He’s watches over us, provides for us, and is always there to encourage us with His grace!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good to me! Thank You for the grace and resources to make changes long-overdue. Help me keep moving forward with courage. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Have you made any home improvements lately? How did it affect your outlook? Are there other life changes you can make?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

Full Circle: A Gift from Around the World

Last Thursday, Lydia and I went to a memorial car-and-bike show! This is the fourth year Dave’s employer, Caterpillar, has held it in his name. Yet, this year seemed extra special.

Lydia looked forward to the car show all morning. “Is it time to go yet?” she kept asking. She dressed herself, and proudly wore her light pink CAT sweatshirt. “I’m ready!”

Lydia_2016 car show

Each year has been a little different, though I always come away in awe at how much love and effort is put into the show. This year was distinct because Lydia is now old enough to learn a little more about Dave and remember where he worked.

For the first couple of car shows, Dave’s 1965 Chevelle was present. With God’s help (and a cool story), I sold it last year. Lydia doesn’t (really) remember Dave, but I am so thankful she remembers his car!

As usual, we ate lunch at the car show, and saw a few familiar faces. We visited with Dave’s coworkers and caught up with old friends.

Then, we went on a tour of the facility. I have been on several CAT tours over the years, but this was the first time Lydia was able to follow along and ask questions.

Every so often, I would pause to clarify anything she was unsure about. I pointed out different projects Dave had worked on and equipment he helped set up. Dave loved working for Caterpillar and I am still so proud of all he accomplished there.

IMG_0787_smaller

We passed several pictures of employees being recognized for achievements. One section held three pictures—a memorial wall. Dave’s photo was first.

Lydia asked, “Why is my Daddy’s picture up there?”

I don’t always know how to answer her questions, so with tears in my eyes, all I could manage was, “Because they loved him so much.”

I was honored to see Dave’s picture, but in that moment I felt the deep loss. Not just for myself, but for Lydia…and all the potential one life can hold. We moved on, and I was thankful for the safety glasses (hopefully) hiding my mixed emotions.

Later, we met a man whom I vaguely recognized. Perhaps I met him on a previous tour, but he jumped up to say hello when we were introduced. He also greeted Lydia and answered a few questions about his machine before we left. Soon, we were on our way to another area.

Minutes later, we observed another machine at work. I noticed the man (from before) had followed us and was waiting patiently to talk with us. As we finished watching, he held out a small, brightly decorated drum.

Lydia_Drum from Singapore

“What’s this?” I asked.

“It’s a drum from Singapore,” he said. “One of the ladies there…hmmm… what’s her name?”

“Jennifer?” I suggested.

“Yes, that’s it!” He replied, with a curious look on his face. “Jennifer gave it to me.” His voice grew soft, “And lately, I have been looking for someone to give it to…”

He nodded toward Lydia, and gave me the drum. “I would like her to have it.” Astonished, I thanked the man for the drum and then told him about when I met Jennifer.

“Jennifer was part of the Singapore group that visited several years ago, to learn how to run their new CAT facility. Dave helped them with the set up.”

I went on, “When I was pregnant with Lydia, they came to see everything firsthand. Dave made hotel reservations, rented a mini-van, and drove them all around town!”

“I met Jennifer and her coworkers (most had English first names) at a team building event out in the country. The whole group excitedly took pictures of tractors, corn, and cows! Dave stopped along the way so they could document their trip. We had a lot of fun!”

Drum from Singapore

When Dave died, the Singapore employees sent condolences, cards, and a (monetary) collection. They said how much they enjoyed working with Dave and appreciated his help. I couldn’t believe their generosity and compassion…it was amazing.

Back then, I was touched to receive such kindness from so far away.

On Thursday, receiving the beautiful drum was certainly unexpected. But, for me, it was a poignant reminder of love sent around the world. It was just what I needed in that moment. Only God could bring it full circle all these years later!

Dave was always thinking of how to help others. The drum also serves as a memento of how even small, thoughtful acts can impact so many people.

Lydia does not understand all of this just yet, but to me, the whole day—tour and drum included—was a huge blessing. Now whenever I have a sad moment, I am going to look at that pretty drum and remember that God sees us and knows exactly what we need.

He cares about every aspect of each person’s life and provides encouragement when we need it most. Yes, God uses each little detail to piece together a beautiful story of grace!

Praise God!

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God, thanks for Your grace. Thank You for loving me so much. Help me turn to You in the difficult moments! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you had a ‘God moment’ lately? What did you learn?

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #23

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

pink sedum plant

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

  • This week was loaded with God’s goodness and grace! Earlier in the week, as I worked on Wednesday’s post, I was overwhelmed by God’s goodness over the years. It took me awhile to craft just what I wanted to say…my heart was bursting with gratitude for all that the Lord has done for me!

  • I took full advantage of my birthday week, which also coincided with the Olympics. I stayed up late each night watching swimming, gymnastics and other activities. I slept in late most of the mornings too. It felt like a mini vacation!
  •  Over the last few weeks or so, I’ve been selling some old house items and replacing them as I go. I sold my dining room table and chairs a couple weeks ago, but hadn’t found anything I liked until this week. We have been using a smaller table in the meanwhile. I probably looked at a dozen different stores (online and in-person). On Wednesday, I looked at an online sale and then went to the store to see a table in-person. The table was not on sale in-store, but they honored the online price anyway! I was glad to save money and was thankful God worked on my behalf.
  • Also on Wednesday, my neighbor and her mom were dividing a sedum plant and shared two of the sections with me. I was able to fill in a couple gaps in my flower bed. With a little help, I was able to envision a couple changes for this fall to make the flower bed look better. I was thankful for their generosity!
  • Yesterday (Friday) was my birthday and it was a wonderful day. Lydia actually acknowledged my birthday, instead of forgetting it or thinking it was HER special day. 🙂 We talked with several friends and family; had lunch with a friend; opened a few gifts that were sent in the mail; and enjoyed a local minor league baseball game. It was so much fun seeing Lydia’s excitement during the game! She followed along and enjoyed cheering. She had her first cotton candy experience and loved the fireworks at the end.

  • I also received many birthday wishes, cards, texts, emails this week. This was in addition to kind comments on social media and my blog this week. It is always so cool to see how many people we still have encouraging and supporting us, both near and far. Thank you!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Worship

A Note to My 29 Year-Old Self

This week I am celebrating! Not only is it my birthday week, it’s also the one year mark of making my blog public. Can you believe it?! I feel it is still a work in progress, but I am so grateful for you all. Thanks for sticking with me! 🙂

birthday candles

Dave often celebrated my birthday week. That’s because one year, he forgot the exact date and decided to give me gifts every day! He was pretty smooth like that.

These days, celebrating my birthday, like many other things, is different without him.

Typically, I’ll eat lunch with a friend, talk with lots of friends and family, and get a massage. This year, I am also taking Lydia to a local (minor league) baseball game. She’s been asking to go all summer, and the fireworks at the end might be a special perk!

Around my birthday, I like to look back on the last year and set some goals for the next. For whatever reason, this week I also considered all that has happened since moving to Fargo six years ago this month. It’s bittersweet.

Grace mug_Eph 2-8

I have noticed many major life events have occurred since my 29th birthday. In short:

I was twenty-nine when Lydia was born. While Dave and I were thrilled to be parents, the sleeplessness threw us for a loop! Five months later, we were just starting to sleep well when Dave was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. After 364 days of fighting cancer with Dave, I became a widow and single mom at the age of thirty.

Hence, the last few years have been a continual adjustment (and readjustment). So much has changed. But far be it from me to complain!

chocolate cupcake

Have you ever wished you could tell your former self how something works out? Hindsight brings clarity! I can’t explain it all in a simple blog post, but God has been so good to us.

Someday I’ll have all the words… but not today. So for now, with much gratitude, here’s a note I wrote to my 29 year-old self!

Hello, dear Self,

I know you cannot comprehend all that the next few years entail. You can’t possibly fathom the pain and struggles that lie ahead. But God does—and He’s got this.

You don’t realize this now, but fear has been a constant presence lurking in the back of your mind. It limits your decisions at times.

Yet God knows this—and He’s going to free you from all your fears. What’s more, as He destroys old mindsets, you will learn to walk in Victory. The whole process will certainly be scary, but He will lead you through. Trust Him!

Sometimes, this journey will make you question everything you believe about God. But He is big enough to handle your doubts and fears, your anger and resentment.

He’s got this.

There will be moments you can barely breathe. You won’t know how you’re going to make it. When you think you cannot take anymore, you’re right. But take it to Jesus. He is your hope and firm anchor. Let Him carry the burden for you. He cares for you deeply and knows exactly what you need.

When you feel like giving up or running away, stand firm. The battle belongs to the Lord. He is your shield, your protector, and your defense. He’s got you covered!

When everything falls apart, you will see God holding together what remains. He is your rock and your salvation! Everything that really matters is secure in Him.

Yes, dear Self, life gets rough up ahead. It can feel quite heavy at times. But don’t worry. God’s got this! In fact, there is much good along the way.

New goals and dreams, new purposes and plans. Long-awaited answers to prayer.

God will use these experiences to show you just how much He loves you. He will prove His love and power are stronger than any difficult thing you will (ever) face.

 And yes, He’s absolutely got this!

It won’t be easy, but in time, you will see the pattern of grace. From this side of it all, it actually IS amazing. When the dust settles, you will be grateful. And despite all odds, you will still wake up with wonder at this life you get to live. What a gift!

What felt like defeat, was really training grounds for a new path. Where there was doubt, trust will deepen. In place of despair, hope will rise. In the midst of pain, you will find peace and beauty. You will flourish!

Praise God—He’s got this!

So do not be afraid, dear Self. You are always loved, never alone. God will not falter. His mercies are new every morning, and His grace is more than enough.

Keep your head held high, because the best is yet to come. God is working all this for good, even when you don’t see how. It will be beyond your wildest imagination!

Seek God’s grace and goodness each day. Rejoice in the Lord’s unfailing love and faithfulness! Most of all, hold on tight to Jesus.

Cling to Him for He is your strength and your life.

And you know what? He’s got this!!

XOXO,

Your 30-something Self

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Gracious God, thank You for bringing me through with Victory. I celebrate your loving kindness—You are so good to me! Bless this next year and help me live for you! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you ever written yourself a note like this? What words of wisdom would you write?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Wisdom

Before and After

According to Donald Miller, every great story has at least six to eight “story turns” or “life turns.” Generally, the plot is built around story turns. These are pivotal moments in the story because once a character goes through that ‘door,’ they can never turn back. These moments change the character and life will never be the same again.

Story turns can be good, like getting married, having a baby, or landing a dream job. (The positive stress that comes with those is called eustress.) Somehow though, moments of distress seem to be the most memorable. Is that because we tend to focus on the negativity, or because they actually have the most potential to bring change?

time for change

I don’t always appreciate change. I like my comfort zone! Often, change isn’t comfortable, but it is good and necessary long-term. Change makes life interesting!

Two of my biggest story turns felt like a one-two punch: Dave’s cancer diagnosis followed by his death 364 days later. I had to learn to walk a new path. Things feel better (most days), but that’s largely because God has carried us as we have adjusted to our new normal. It still feels crazy sometimes, but God keeps reminding me to rest.

Dave and I learned so much when he was sick. But after Dave died, God brought me to a whole new level of grace. Grace for myself. I simply could not keep up with everything on my should-do list. So, I had to relax my standards…and then relax them again.

I knew if I was going to get through the grief process, I was going to need God’s help. Grief is a process. Change is a process. It hasn’t been easy, but in His strength, I’ve been able to accomplish what He has for me to do (Philippians 4:13). Jesus said He would never leave me, and I have chosen to trust Him to show me the way. I’ve relied on His power, and He has given me His peace (John 14:27).

Colossians 3_15

As a Registered Dietitian and Nutritionist, I often see “before and after” client photos or food journals. It is gratifying to see the differences after even a few changes are made. Many of them are difficult to implement, but carry life-changing potential.

So, here are some of my “before and after” snapshots (figuratively speaking):

Before, I tried to plan my way to a perfect outcome (or life). Now, I keep planning in perspective. My new motto in many areas is, “Close enough is good enough.” (It doesn’t apply to everything, but it’s a really good ‘get out of jail free’ card most days!)

Before, fear was closely linked to my perfectionist tendency to plan for all contingencies. I often had a nagging feeling that something could go wrong. Now, I praise God fear is no longer a stronghold in my life. I have learned to let things go… In fact, I rarely have any fear at all. And when I do, I catch it right away and deal with it.

Before, I worried about decisions, trying to figure out all the details in advance. I still believe planning is wise, but I don’t over-plan due to fear and worry. Now, I wait to make a decision until I have peace about it. Of course, that doesn’t mean I know all the information beforehand. But, I’m okay with that now. I don’t have to have ALL the answers to walk by FAITH. I know God will come through for me, so I wait for His peace.

May 15th 2016_Three years

Before, I would do everything I could to avoid confrontation. (I was also more of a people-pleaser!) I respectfully address and resolve conflict much quicker now, not letting simple issues drag on. Perhaps I have a shorter fuse now. One thing I do know is that Life is too short to get worked up about petty issues!

Before, I was always busy but didn’t feel like I made much progress in any area. After Dave died, God streamlined my focus. So now, I am doing less random activity, but having much more impact in areas that are important to me. I have felt much more fruitful and productive these last few years.

How about you? What are your biggest “before and after” moments?

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God, You are good! Thank You for writing our stories with Your love and grace. Thanks for being with us on the journey. Draw us near to You, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: As you look back on significant “life turns,” can you see how God shown His faithfulness to you? How has your life been changed as a result?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Wisdom, Words

Sharing Our Stories

Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement around the three year anniversary of Dave’s death! My mom and aunt visited for a few days to celebrate Dave and comfort me.

I kept their visit as a surprise from Lydia, but the joke was on me. My sister also came…to surprise ME! We had a wonderful visit: shopping, eating yummy food, and sharing stories.

I love how each of our lives interconnect. I’m thankful we encourage and support each other through the ups and downs of Life. I also love a good cup of coffee. 🙂

I don’t need anything fancy! I’ll drink coffee at home with milk, most days. Even better, I enjoy coffee with a friend, sharing stories and experiences, learning from each other.

coffee

What’s more, I love how each of us can impact those around us with the stories of our personal lives. Never underestimate the power or significance of your story.

Whether you enjoy coffee or not, don’t be afraid to share your story with those around you. Even total strangers can benefit!

The night before my visitors arrived, my mom had an interesting conversation with the cashier at a certain store. She was picking up some snacks and a little trinket for Lydia.

“Oh you must be going on a trip!” said the cashier, an older woman.

My mom mentioned the reason for her trip, and told the cashier a little of my story. The lady grew quiet, and said, “My daughter is a younger widow, too. She doesn’t have small children now, but she is having a difficult time.” (Her husband died in a sudden accident.)

My mom is compassionate and understanding in these types of moments. Through the course of their conversation, Mom shared about my blog, and that God has taken such good care of us. We are not angry with God, and keep moving forward.

This prompted the cashier to say, “I don’t really know how to get ahold of God.” So, Mom explained the basic gospel message to her. They chatted a little more. Then, the lady wrote a few things down, and squeezed my mom’s hand as she left.

2 Corinthians 1_3-4

Isn’t God good?! He meets us right where we are, and longs to comfort us. After all, our personal life stories are just a small part of the greater one He is writing.

We overcome by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus!) and the word of our testimony (see Revelation 12:11). As we share our stories, we are healed. But it doesn’t stop there. It is not all about us. Our redemptive stories also bring God glory and bless others. Knowing this makes my pain more bearable!

We have the ability to affirm and speak God’s truth to one another! Once we have worked through our own mess, we become His messengers to others. When infused with His grace and wisdom, our words bring His power to set people free.

Please note: I am not suggesting to “spill your guts” or share other people’s secrets (gossip). If you need help processing your pain, please consider professional input.

latte with heart

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20).

Did you catch that? What was meant for evil—to hurt or stop us—God is working for good. Our pain does not go wasted. God collects each and every tear we cry. If we let Him, God will redeem our experiences and help someone else grow closer to Him, too.

Yes, grief and other emotions are normal. But we cannot stay there. Instead of dwelling on the loss, the anger, the negativity… Take it to Jesus. His love never fails. Let Him walk you through to Victory, and then share what He has done in your life with others.

At the end of you life, the only thing that will matter is your relationship with Jesus Christ, followed by how you treated other people. We can’t take our stuff with us!

Ultimately, the coffee won’t matter, but our stories will.

So speak up. Tell your story. See God heal your heart and touch the lives of others. Our stories (and lessons learned) can change lives—even to the point of eternity.

Isn’t that worth it?

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God of all comfort, thank You for healing our hearts. Give us courage to share the deep parts of our lives with others. Give us wisdom and grace as we encourage and learn from each other. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: If you like coffee, how do you like it best? What part of your personal story (testimony) could be shared to encourage or comfort someone else?

 

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Worship

It Is Well

In a few days, it will be three years since my late husband died of colon cancer. As such, I’ve been reflecting on our journey these last few years. Lydia and I think and talk about Dave often. And, I consider all the ways God helped us and came through for us.

I’ve also been thinking about how we honored Dave’s life at his funeral. Dave had no preferences, leaving the details up to me. My mom helped me choose the flowers, and I asked my dad to speak during the service. I picked out the songs.

Dave obit pic

I chose “Give Me Jesus,” because at the end of his life, Dave was still sure of his faith. Shortly before he died, when asked if there was anything he needed, Dave’s response was: “I just want Jesus.”

The other two songs were classic hymns: “Victory in Jesus” and a personal favorite, “It Is Well with My Soul.” They felt like anthems proclaiming God’s goodness and faithfulness.

Somehow, in the midst of my grief, I looked past my pain to believe God still had a good plan for me and Lydia…though I could not see or understand what that was.

These songs inspire me to praise and trust God…when things go well and when they don’t. First day. Last day. Best day. Worst day. He is constant. Just…give…me…Jesus.

Psalm 28_7

Lately, I’ve been singing a newer version of “It Is Well,” a powerful song from Bethel Music. Lydia was too little three years ago to know we sang the original (classic) version at her Daddy’s funeral. Nonetheless, it has been moving to hear her belt out some of the lyrics!

I am simply amazed at how far God has brought us. He is still with us, showing us the path ahead. He has never left me alone to fend for myself. God has held me close, a strong and steady anchor in the storms of life. I’m so thankful for His help!

That first year without Dave was a struggle, though each year has had its own challenges. At one point, I wrote down a set of personal statements, which felt like drawing a line in the sand.

I posted little notes all over the house, and declared them out loud, often several times a day. They helped me refocus on the Lord in my deepest grief. I still review them often!

It is well

Today, I am sharing them with you. I hope they help you, too, in your tough moments. God’s promises fill us with hope. Therefore, I linked a few Bible verses after each sentence if you would like to read and ponder them.

I trust You, Jesus.

Psalm 28:7, Proverbs 3:5, Isaiah 26:4, Nahum 1:7

Lord, I need You.

Psalm 9:18, Psalm 40:17, Psalm 72:12

I will wait for You.

Psalm 27:14, Psalm 33:20, Micah 7:7

You’ve never failed before!

Exodus 14:14, Joshua 21:45, Luke 1:37

I receive Your peace and provision.

Numbers 6:24-26, Job 10:12, Psalm 29:11, Isaiah 26:3

stormy sea

Do you feel defeated today? Perhaps life looks anything but well. I’ve been there. Yet, as my dad so poignantly said at his beloved son-in-law’s funeral:

“You don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.”

You may be experiencing peace and quiet today, or tossing to and fro. Either way, take it to Jesus. Cling to Him in both the calm and the chaos. He is the King!

As you trust in God’s love for you, stand firm on His promises. He will bring You through with Victory. And, I pray that you, too, will soon be able to say: “It is well with me.”

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God, thank You for your loyal and unwavering love. You are so good. As we speak Your truth over our circumstances, may we rest in Your grace and peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When facing life’s uncertainties, do you turn to God first…or last? How can I pray for you today?

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous

Because He Is Good

With the flip of the calendar, here we are in May! I love spring in general, but it is a little bittersweet as we near the third year mark of my late husband’s death. Over the last couple weeks, I have been praying about this upcoming anniversary.

Once again, the Lord has come through for me in ways only He can. I had coffee with a friend who reaffirmed me on a day I was feeling down. I also ran into several friends at church, and each time, God used them to lift me up with encouragement. In all these instances, I didn’t mention I was sad. But it was reassuring to see how God met my need. He is so good to me!

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Dave was thirty-four when he died, which is far too young. He was diagnosed after an emergency surgery in May 2012. He died 364 days later. It was a wild and chaotic year, but God was ever-faithful.

This spring, I am a little sad, yes.

But mostly, I am still so proud of Dave after all these years. I admire how he handled his cancer with grace and courage. I’m grateful he did not give up.

Some people may think that God let me down because Dave died. Yet, I do not feel that way. In fact, I saw God do so much more than we could ever dream. He answered big, audacious prayers and small, silent ones. It was an awful situation, no doubt. But, God was so kind and generous.

Already Stage IV, Dave’s prognosis wasn’t great at the start, but God gave us those 364 days anyway. Some people get longer, but we relished every moment we had together. I’m thankful Dave didn’t have to suffer any longer than that because it got to be pretty intense those final weeks…

Psalm 46_1

What’s more, I’m so grateful for all God taught us that year. Dave had a servant’s heart like no other, but realized he couldn’t out-give God. He learned to rest in Jesus’ sacrifice because we can’t earn God’s grace.

For me, perhaps the lessons felt much more dramatic. Emotional roller coaster is an understatement. Our cancer journey brought out some of my worst traits. And trust me, I could be a bear at times! But, God’s grace and mercy were more than enough even then.

God provided wonderful friends who helped us, often with little advanced notice. He provided extra comfort for the worst days and gave us many joys along the way. As Dave himself said, it was a “phenomenal year.”

God used these extreme circumstances to prove that He is bigger than my fears. Every. Single. One. That alone was one of the biggest breakthroughs in my life.

He set me free indeed! What grace!

Can you believe these last three years have been some of the most fruitful years of my life? It’s not been easy, though God is redeeming my pain. He has rebuilt my life from the ashes. And because He is good, I am still standing!1 Corinthians 15_57I don’t know what you are dealing with today. Maybe everything is peachy keen. But, likely it’s not. If you are struggling with something, take it to Jesus. Let Him be your refuge and strength, your righteousness and your defense—He understands exactly what you need.

You simply cannot figure out every detail and outcome of your life. Believe me, I know! But if you place your trust in Jesus alone, He will lead you through it all. Let Him be your peace. He will bring you to Victory!

God loves you and is for you! Yes, life is hard. It doesn’t always turn out like we want. But God can handle everything that concerns you. And ultimately, if your hope is in Him, you will not be disappointed!

I know that full well.

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God, great is Your faithfulness! Thank You for being a trustworthy refuge. When we are afraid, may we place our hope in You. We overcome and have Victory, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How has God come through for you lately? How can I pray for you?

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #6

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

robin

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

  1. This week I felt like a social butterfly. I had many great conversations and connections with a wide variety of people…on the phone and in person. One day, I met a friend to catch up. We’ve both been through a lot these last few years. I was so glad to hear what God has done in her life lately. God is so good!

2. Monday evening was spent with other friends, celebrating the job relocation of a dear couple. It was bittersweet, but it is always amazing to see how God directs us on new paths. He weaves our stories together, and then moves us on to learn, grow, and impact a new set of friends.

3. My monthly MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group met this week. These ladies have been good to me, and I have learned so much from them. MOPS was a real lifesaver for me those first several months as a single mom. I appreciate discussing motherhood and parenting challenges in a warm and welcoming place. I’m thankful for the friendships I’ve made there. Lydia always begs to go back too, so that’s a bonus!

4. Today, I saw a robin hopping around my yard. We had a very mild winter this year, and robins are rather basic birds. But, I consider them one of the first signs of spring. Growing up, a pair of robins nested in our tree house each year. Each spring, we watched the bright blue eggs hatch and the little birds grow!

Three years ago, when Dave was so sick, we had a very long winter (with snow even into May). Seeing robins back then gave me hope in that dark time.

God never fails to bring the spring!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?