Tag: Rest

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Wisdom

Before and After

According to Donald Miller, every great story has at least six to eight “story turns” or “life turns.” Generally, the plot is built around story turns. These are pivotal moments in the story because once a character goes through that ‘door,’ they can never turn back. These moments change the character and life will never be the same again.

Story turns can be good, like getting married, having a baby, or landing a dream job. (The positive stress that comes with those is called eustress.) Somehow though, moments of distress seem to be the most memorable. Is that because we tend to focus on the negativity, or because they actually have the most potential to bring change?

time for change

I don’t always appreciate change. I like my comfort zone! Often, change isn’t comfortable, but it is good and necessary long-term. Change makes life interesting!

Two of my biggest story turns felt like a one-two punch: Dave’s cancer diagnosis followed by his death 364 days later. I had to learn to walk a new path. Things feel better (most days), but that’s largely because God has carried us as we have adjusted to our new normal. It still feels crazy sometimes, but God keeps reminding me to rest.

Dave and I learned so much when he was sick. But after Dave died, God brought me to a whole new level of grace. Grace for myself. I simply could not keep up with everything on my should-do list. So, I had to relax my standards…and then relax them again.

I knew if I was going to get through the grief process, I was going to need God’s help. Grief is a process. Change is a process. It hasn’t been easy, but in His strength, I’ve been able to accomplish what He has for me to do (Philippians 4:13). Jesus said He would never leave me, and I have chosen to trust Him to show me the way. I’ve relied on His power, and He has given me His peace (John 14:27).

Colossians 3_15

As a Registered Dietitian and Nutritionist, I often see “before and after” client photos or food journals. It is gratifying to see the differences after even a few changes are made. Many of them are difficult to implement, but carry life-changing potential.

So, here are some of my “before and after” snapshots (figuratively speaking):

Before, I tried to plan my way to a perfect outcome (or life). Now, I keep planning in perspective. My new motto in many areas is, “Close enough is good enough.” (It doesn’t apply to everything, but it’s a really good ‘get out of jail free’ card most days!)

Before, fear was closely linked to my perfectionist tendency to plan for all contingencies. I often had a nagging feeling that something could go wrong. Now, I praise God fear is no longer a stronghold in my life. I have learned to let things go… In fact, I rarely have any fear at all. And when I do, I catch it right away and deal with it.

Before, I worried about decisions, trying to figure out all the details in advance. I still believe planning is wise, but I don’t over-plan due to fear and worry. Now, I wait to make a decision until I have peace about it. Of course, that doesn’t mean I know all the information beforehand. But, I’m okay with that now. I don’t have to have ALL the answers to walk by FAITH. I know God will come through for me, so I wait for His peace.

May 15th 2016_Three years

Before, I would do everything I could to avoid confrontation. (I was also more of a people-pleaser!) I respectfully address and resolve conflict much quicker now, not letting simple issues drag on. Perhaps I have a shorter fuse now. One thing I do know is that Life is too short to get worked up about petty issues!

Before, I was always busy but didn’t feel like I made much progress in any area. After Dave died, God streamlined my focus. So now, I am doing less random activity, but having much more impact in areas that are important to me. I have felt much more fruitful and productive these last few years.

How about you? What are your biggest “before and after” moments?

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God, You are good! Thank You for writing our stories with Your love and grace. Thanks for being with us on the journey. Draw us near to You, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: As you look back on significant “life turns,” can you see how God shown His faithfulness to you? How has your life been changed as a result?

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #11

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

orchids

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

  • This week has been awesome. We’ve had visitors all week! First, my mom, aunt, and sister came for a few days. After they left, a dear friend from college came to visit for a long weekend. We all had a blast laughing, sharing our stories, shopping, and eating delicious food. It was a fun and fairly restful week, even though we all stayed up way too late enjoying ourselves! We had gorgeous weather, and I also enjoyed catching up with my neighbors outside.
  • My sister and brother-in-law gave me a beautiful orchid this week in remembrance of Dave. There are many different types of orchids—what variety! But I like the purplish/fuschia ones the best. (My sister didn’t know it, yet that’s the one she gave me!) I think they are so pretty! I am amazed at how delicate they are, yet their blooms last for longer than many other plants.
  • Yesterday (Friday), my friend and I went to a ‘junk market’ where we perused vintage, antique, and up-cycled items. We saw many interesting objects, and I found a couple small heart magnets for the fridge. Lydia got some hair clips from someone who also has an online Etsy shop. I also bought some locally made raspberry and strawberry jam! As we walked around, I thought about how God remakes us to be more like Him. We are His masterpiece. We each have a unique, God-given purpose—He doesn’t make mistakes. He restores us and makes all things new! (see Ephesians 2:10 and 2 Corinthians 5:17)

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Worship

It Is Well

In a few days, it will be three years since my late husband died of colon cancer. As such, I’ve been reflecting on our journey these last few years. Lydia and I think and talk about Dave often. And, I consider all the ways God helped us and came through for us.

I’ve also been thinking about how we honored Dave’s life at his funeral. Dave had no preferences, leaving the details up to me. My mom helped me choose the flowers, and I asked my dad to speak during the service. I picked out the songs.

Dave obit pic

I chose “Give Me Jesus,” because at the end of his life, Dave was still sure of his faith. Shortly before he died, when asked if there was anything he needed, Dave’s response was: “I just want Jesus.”

The other two songs were classic hymns: “Victory in Jesus” and a personal favorite, “It Is Well with My Soul.” They felt like anthems proclaiming God’s goodness and faithfulness.

Somehow, in the midst of my grief, I looked past my pain to believe God still had a good plan for me and Lydia…though I could not see or understand what that was.

These songs inspire me to praise and trust God…when things go well and when they don’t. First day. Last day. Best day. Worst day. He is constant. Just…give…me…Jesus.

Psalm 28_7

Lately, I’ve been singing a newer version of “It Is Well,” a powerful song from Bethel Music. Lydia was too little three years ago to know we sang the original (classic) version at her Daddy’s funeral. Nonetheless, it has been moving to hear her belt out some of the lyrics!

I am simply amazed at how far God has brought us. He is still with us, showing us the path ahead. He has never left me alone to fend for myself. God has held me close, a strong and steady anchor in the storms of life. I’m so thankful for His help!

That first year without Dave was a struggle, though each year has had its own challenges. At one point, I wrote down a set of personal statements, which felt like drawing a line in the sand.

I posted little notes all over the house, and declared them out loud, often several times a day. They helped me refocus on the Lord in my deepest grief. I still review them often!

It is well

Today, I am sharing them with you. I hope they help you, too, in your tough moments. God’s promises fill us with hope. Therefore, I linked a few Bible verses after each sentence if you would like to read and ponder them.

I trust You, Jesus.

Psalm 28:7, Proverbs 3:5, Isaiah 26:4, Nahum 1:7

Lord, I need You.

Psalm 9:18, Psalm 40:17, Psalm 72:12

I will wait for You.

Psalm 27:14, Psalm 33:20, Micah 7:7

You’ve never failed before!

Exodus 14:14, Joshua 21:45, Luke 1:37

I receive Your peace and provision.

Numbers 6:24-26, Job 10:12, Psalm 29:11, Isaiah 26:3

stormy sea

Do you feel defeated today? Perhaps life looks anything but well. I’ve been there. Yet, as my dad so poignantly said at his beloved son-in-law’s funeral:

“You don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.”

You may be experiencing peace and quiet today, or tossing to and fro. Either way, take it to Jesus. Cling to Him in both the calm and the chaos. He is the King!

As you trust in God’s love for you, stand firm on His promises. He will bring You through with Victory. And, I pray that you, too, will soon be able to say: “It is well with me.”

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God, thank You for your loyal and unwavering love. You are so good. As we speak Your truth over our circumstances, may we rest in Your grace and peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When facing life’s uncertainties, do you turn to God first…or last? How can I pray for you today?

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #7

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

river banks

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

  • I loved the rainy weather at the beginning of the week. Besides getting to wear my fuchsia rain jacket, it turned everything green! 🙂 We also enjoyed some sunny days too. Soon I will have to mow the lawn, but I will choose to praise God for the beautiful weather!
  • Lydia loves playing outside. One evening as she played with a neighbor girl, I worked outside picking up debris in our yard. I raked a few small areas and set up the table and chairs on the deck. I swept the garage and organized a few tools for the summer season. Finally, I put out the windchimes that were given to me as memorial to Dave. With the high winds we have in Fargo, we think of him often! Completing those tasks made me proud because a few years ago, I was far too overwhelmed with grief and an active toddler. I had no desire to do anything extra and needed a lot of help with house maintenance. Praise God for His goodness and healing!
  • It felt great this week, to donate lots of STUFF around the house. While having stuff is not a problem, it can distract us from God as our Provider. It takes our eyes off Him and makes it appear we are in control. Ironically, when everything falls apart (and it often does!), we quickly realize how untrue that is. We can’t depend on ourselves, but God is more than enough for our problems. It’s good to acknowledge Him ALL the time, not just when we need Him to bail us out.
  • Usually, the beginning of the week is quite busy with deadlines, work, and more. So by the end of the week, I try to cram in a bunch of household chores, time with Lydia, and other important tasks. This week, my schedule unexpectedly opened up on Friday. I had lots of plans, but as the day continued, I made changes. By God’s grace, I decided to rest a bit! I ran a couple simple errands and caught up on some reading. I also made some DIY beauty products (with Lydia’s help!). It was a fun experience, and I feel rejuvenated instead of worn out. It’s a constant challenge to rest, but I’m thankful God knows when I need a break!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?

Posted on in Miscellaneous, Procrastination, Travel, Worship

The 12-Hour Turnaround

It is amazing what rejuvenation can come from a get-away. Lydia and I spent almost a week in Illinois, while we visited family and a few friends. It was just the ‘reset’ I needed.

Usually, we drive there and back in two days, stopping overnight each time. This adds a couple extra days to our trip—which is fun, but not always feasible. So, this time, we drove for twelve hours all in one day to Illinois and then the same road trip back to Fargo.

Now we have taken this route numerous times in nearly six years. And we have done the long all-day trek several times too. But this time was different.

sunrise from car

On this road trip, I needed a major turnaround. Yes, an attitude readjustment!

It could’ve been related to not sleeping well the night before. Perhaps it was the sense of leaving family and comfort behind. Maybe there were other factors too—like postponing breakfast—but I was in a funky mood at the beginning of the trip!

It was still dark as we started out. After a little while, Lydia fell back asleep. As I listened to her soft snoring, I started to reflect upon all we were driving back toward (in Fargo). There’s nothing like a little distance to give you some perspective!

Before, on the way to Illinois, we were driving toward family. But, as we drove back to Fargo, there was a void. I also realized as the third-year mark of Dave’s death approaches, we have been making these trips without him longer than with him.

I continued thinking about lessons learned, how many things have changed. Lydia has grown so much! Also, at least eight families—much of our support system—have moved away for various reasons. Though, God has been faithful to provide new friends and a wonderful drop-in daycare!

Other aspects of our lives are fairly steady. I’ve taken huge leaps forward, yet I feel there is still so much to do. Sometimes it is overwhelming. Though we love calling Fargo home—and have no plans to move—it has not been without challenges.

As we made our way North, I turned on the radio. I have a SiriusXM subscription which is awesome for traveling. I don’t use it often in Fargo, but on Monday, I was thankful for the encouraging words on The Message (Channel 63).

With God-focused songs, like Trust in You by Lauren Daigle, I knew I needed to give all my fears and frustrations to God. When I fear, I forget God’s faithfulness. But, the truth is, the Lord has been so, so good to me. He is kind, generous, and trustworthy. I don’t have to worry, because the He is in charge of all the details.

two arrows

As the hours rolled by, Lydia and I sang and talked. As I feasted on God’s grace and truth, a weight lifted. The closer we got to Fargo, the more light-hearted I became. Soon I was confident, hopeful, and trusting God again. What a relief knowing I don’t walk this path alone!

God continually gives me opportunities to trust Him at a deeper level. Oddly enough, I found new motivation to make some changes I previously resisted. My resistance is not on purpose, but I can be stubborn!

Being stuck in my car, I was open-minded to make changes regarding my daily routine. It’s funny how sitting in the car all day makes me want to switch up my exercise plan! 😉 Now, I have a renewed vision for Fargo and am excited to see all the Lord has in store!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

Following God is not always comfortable or easy. But, it is so worth it. God is for me not against me. He gently redirects me when I get off track. I can trust Him because He loves me so much!

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Father God, thanks for Your unrelenting grace and love. Thanks for never giving up on me. Lord, I need You—I cannot make it on my own. Help me trust You more and more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What are your favorite music tunes for the car? Has God ever changed your heart during a road trip?

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #3

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also defined as God’s unmerited favor. I often find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Easter egg pic

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

1. This week we drove almost twelve hours to Illinois to visit family for Easter. We left before dawn and within five minutes, I heard, “Are we there yet?!” Lydi was very excited to see everyone! We chatted about the moon and watched a glorious sunrise. We pointed out cows, sheep, and points of interest. Lydi colored pictures, read some books, and napped. Thanks, God, for safe travels.

2. Historically, when we’d visit Illinois, I’d try to see as many people as I can…extended family, old friends, former coworkers, etc.  However, I’d end up exhausted from driving all around the state. I have discovered it works better to organize mini gatherings of people to see several people at once. We did that this trip; it was so refreshing! I am so thankful for my family!

3. I told Lydia that the Easter bunny is “kind-of-like-Santa Claus” (not really real). Don’t worry. She wasn’t phased. As a matter of fact, she quickly directed me, “Well then, YOU can still do something with the Easter eggs.” 🙂 I love my little negotiator!

Then, my brother, my sister-in-law (his wife), and my brother-in-law all helped me hide eggs for a fun egg hunt. I was blessed to have some help in creating fun memories for Lydia. God has given Lydi wonderful aunts and uncles who love her!

4. Tomorrow is Resurrection Sunday. I am encouraged by Romans 5:8 which explains ultimate grace, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” There is nothing we can do to deserve God’s love.

Jesus loved us when we were unlovely and covered in the darkness of sin. He doesn’t love us more when we act well, or love us less on our bad days. He died in our place and triumphed over Death. He rose and conquered the grave…and makes us alive with Him. Thank You, Jesus! We’re more than conquerors too—if we love Jesus and accept His sacrifice on our behalf! (Have you done that yet?)

5. I can easily get caught up in the busyness of every day life in Fargo. Being a single mom takes special effort too. Sometimes, it is best to lay aside my to-do list and rest. One day, in Illinois, ‘Tappa’ (my dad) took us to the local zoo. As we reached an outdoor exhibit, we looked for the animal. I didn’t see anything right away, but Lydia did. “Wow, look at all the little cardinals!”

After this relaxing trip to see our loved ones, and seeing Lydia’s joy in little things, I am reminded that God knows just what I need.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him! (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?

Posted on in Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Wisdom

For When You’re Exhausted

Did you know over seventy countries participate in Daylight Savings Time? Still, that’s less than forty percent of the countries in the world. And, each country has their own ways of using this time change—some do it before or after we do in the United States.

With a few exceptions, most Americans will be changing their clocks this weekend. So consider this your friendly reminder to ‘spring forward’ one hour! Otherwise you will show up to work or church an hour late. (You’re welcome!) 🙂

alarm-clock

While it is wonderful to have more daylight, the time change messes with our sleeping patterns. While we really only lose one hour on one day, it takes a little while to adjust. Kids get up an hour earlier, which can upset morning and evening routines. Also, there are increased health risks associated with the time change and the lack of sleep overall.

It’s no surprise that several studies have shown we need more sleep than we are getting. Like many other people, I often stay up late and get up early, still trying to run the entire solar system. Remember, S.T.R.E.S.S.?? It’s a hard habit to break!

After a little nudge from the Lord, my primary goal for the year is to… get more sleep. Like a minimum of seven hours on most nights. I know, I’m living on the edge! That’s still not enough; however, I am working on daily progress. And now that I am getting more shuteye, I certainly notice when I average closer to five or six hours.

Getting more sleep means…less wakeful hours…and thus, less time to accomplish tasks. So, I am trusting God to help me use my time wisely and accomplish all He has for me to do.

Yes, this means turning off the lights when I still feel the need to do something! It’s a struggle because I like to check things of my to-do list. For example, I often have to postpone household chores… 😉 But who really cares about dusting, anyway?!

Mainly, I aim for a more consistent bedtime routine, and swapping stimulating activities (ie. electronics) with more quiet tasks like reading books (another personal goal). But I am still learning what works best.

Often, it comes down to realizing I am wasting time or am no longer productive. Just last night, I almost got sucked into an online article about ‘secrets’ to help you sleep better. Awesome! But then I thought, “Um, I could actually just go to sleep!”

iphones

Going to bed earlier has its perks—like actually waking up rested and unhurried. But maybe the time change doesn’t affect you this weekend. Even if you just have trouble waking up or going to bed at a certain time, here are some helpful Bible verses to consider:

“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly” (Psalm 5:3).

“Show me the right path, O LORD; point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you” (Psalm 25:4-5).

“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble” (Psalm 59:16).

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life” (Psalm 143:8).

sunrise

“It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don’t you know He enjoys
giving rest to those He loves?” (Psalm 127:2).

Dear reader, God does not want us to be exhausted. Let’s rest and trust Him to help us make wise and healthy choices all throughout the day.

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Father God, thanks for Your steadfast love. Your mercies are new every morning. Teach me to number my days. Help me use my time wisely and trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you struggle with getting adequate sleep? What is one change you could make in your routine? Do you have any other helpful key Scriptures to share?

Posted on in Miscellaneous, Wisdom

A Lovely, Unexpected Retreat

This past weekend was Valentine’s Day. Normally, at this point, I wouldn’t give it another thought. Historically, Dave and I didn’t do much because the recent holiday season also included his birthday and our wedding anniversary. We might’ve watched a movie or made tacos, but nothing over-the-top.

But, God surprised me this weekend with what felt like a Valentine’s retreat! He rearranged my schedule and I enjoyed a much slower pace as a result. As a busy single mom, it felt like a getaway—even though we stayed home—and was just what I needed.

lake and chairs

Jesus said, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28-30, MSG).

On Friday, friends came over to visit. When we spoke the day before, I mentioned an important meeting I had planned. Thus, our time together would be limited. But, we decided to squeeze in a play date anyway.

Well, for reasons outside my control the meeting was rescheduled and our friends were able to stay longer. We enjoyed catching up and our girls played so well together. After that, Lydia and I ran some errands. While we were out, our neighbors invited for us over for an impromptu dinner/play date.

That also was refreshing—and we stayed there about two-and-half hours past Lydia’s bedtime. After we walked home, Lydia helped me finish some laundry. She cheerfully exclaimed, “It’s my job to help you fold the laundry!” And, I don’t even think she was trying to get out of going to bed!

relax-stone

Thus, on Friday, we spent about seven hours with two dear families. I think we all were encouraged that day. I went to bed in awe that God would arrange such a lovely day on my behalf. I rarely allow the opportunity to just sit and relax. (I’m working on that!) It was completely unexpected, and I didn’t realize how much I needed that down time. I was also thankful for the community God provided during a (potentially) bittersweet weekend.

Because of Friday’s change of plans, I incidentally had more free time on Saturday too. I took Lydia out for lunch after she passed her very first series of ice skating lessons. After sticking it out for six weeks, I was so proud! Lydia was proud too and sighed with relief, “I’m so glad I passed that class!”

That afternoon, we watched a movie, read books, completed puzzles, and even took a short nap. Then, I called a few friends and family like I normally do. I enjoyed each moment!

On Sunday, we stayed home and rested. It has been months since I lounged all day and did nothing in particular—not even chores. It was peaceful with few interruptions! I did prepare meals for the upcoming week, but even then, I enjoyed the creative outlet. And, it didn’t feel like work!

books

Lately, I have been busier than my normal for this time of year. I have several good ongoing commitments and projects—but they require lots of energy. Ironically, by resting during our little unexpected staycation/retreat, I feel renewed in my focus. It was delightful to realize God had a wonderful weekend all planned out! I felt so special to Him!

If you are overwhelmed with life or even frustrated with a project, consider pausing and reevaluating your schedule. Is there something you can postpone or remove?

It’s worth taking a break because REST is a part of Restoration!

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Heavenly Father, thank You for restoring my soul with a peaceful Sabbath. Thanks for Your loving grace that covers me. Help me implement more rest and relaxation so I don’t get burned out. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: How long has it been since you last took time to rest and relax? What personal benefits could be found in choosing a slower pace?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Personality

On Rivendell and Rest

Before Dave and I got married, I had a little list of things I wanted to do. It sounds funny now, but watching the Lord of the Rings series one more time was on my list! I love the epic story line between good and evil. I love the beautiful scenery too! And of course, the hero wins.

When Dave died 5+ years later, God took my mind back to Rivendell. At the end of the story, Frodo goes there to recover after his arduous adventure. In the movie, Rivendell is a gorgeous citadel nestled in the mountains. It’s characterized by towering waterfalls, beautiful light and even soft music. There’s a sense that everything is going to be okay…

After our own trip through what felt like Hell, God used the imagery of Rivendell to teach me about His peace, provision, and rest. The contrast was striking.

I am somewhat task-oriented; I thrive on to-do lists, sticky notes, plans and goals! Right away, I felt overwhelmed by extra responsibilities, which Dave would’ve done otherwise. I felt like it was “all on me” to keep the house in working order, pay the bills, discipline and take care of Lydia—not to mention working, preparing food, and trying to sleep.
Even in my grief, I knew could not do it all.

Then, in the midst of turmoil, God’s peace filled my heart. It was a supernatural calm, one I cannot adequately describe. Rivendell doesn’t do it justice!

In my mind’s eye, God gave me a similar sense of rest and tranquility, safety and security. It was extremely comforting. I didn’t need a game plan; I just needed to recuperate.

I knew, eventually, my heart would heal enough to take on other things. But in the meanwhile, I let God do the heavy stuff. True to His Word, He gave me “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

Peaceful waterfalls

Slowly, God’s grace started to change—and heal—my heart. It was as if He told me just to rest, and in His time, He would see to it that everything was accomplished. And then, God’s generous grace for me allowed me to give myself grace.

I felt like God literally moved my personality default to a more laid back disposition. I realized I didn’t have to do everything, but only the most important things. I reorganized a few systems, like responding to mail and paying bills. I asked for help when needed. God also provided friends to help with outside housework, like mowing the lawn.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

As I clung to the Lord for support—minute by minute at times—I relaxed my standards and let some things go. I decided “close enough is good enough” for many tasks. At the time, I just needed to focus on Lydia and grieving well.

I may always be a checklist person! But now, I focus on what is most important—that is, joining God in the work He has for me. No more, no less. I am glad we can live in freedom and rest, knowing God is in control!

Because of His gracious love, we can live in peace and receive His provision.

God takes it personally upon Himself to help us. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we can walk in grace, peace and Victory. Thank You, Jesus!

Questions: Can you think of any epic story lines or movies that have paralleled your journey? What have you learned?

What is God asking you to let Him handle, so you can walk in Victory?