Scars

I’m thankful for the scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars
So forever I am thankful for the scars

–From the song, “Scars,” by I AM THEY

Well, here we are in the middle of May! Today marks 6 years since Dave died. I am reflective, and a little sad, but I know it will pass. Today also marks six years of being a widow and single mom. Lydia and I are doing well, and talk about Dave often. 

Thankfully, we have found a good rhythm. God has us on a good path, and I’m grateful for the peace and rest He brings. Over the years, grief always felt like a ‘big’ factor. Now, it comes and goes with less frequency.

On this anniversary, we always celebrate Dave’s life by doing something special. I give Lydia a small gift, tell her “Dave stories,” and point out qualities of his that she also has.

When I asked Lydia for her ideas on how to celebrate, she suggested we eat frozen yogurt, play a game, or take a bike ride after we get home from work and school.

I’m amazed that she takes it all in stride. She has proven quite resilient! She seems fairly mature for her age, handling herself and her emotions well.

In fact, over the last few months, Lydia has started to ask for more details about Dave and cancer. She now identifies when she is sad, and we are able to talk about it. It helps that we can build on all our previous conversations.

Last week, Lydia decided on a whim to wear her CAT sweatshirt from when she was a toddler. It made me smile because the shirt is still so special to her. She didn’t think anything of the fact that is too small. The sleeves are super short, so maybe I’ll get her a new one for the fall!

Today, I’m also celebrating God’s grace and faithfulness. He has helped me to persevere and keep moving forward. Overall, I’ve made slow and steady progress, but it still counts!

We can’t get through life without pain and suffering. It’s just not possible to be alive and problem-free at the same time. We will all go through trials, which will likely yield some physical and/or emotional wounds. But, that doesn’t mean we have no control. We can certainly choose to have a good attitude and bring our pain to Jesus for healing. Professional therapy may also be helpful!

We should be wise with how we view our scars and stories. We don’t have to walk around showing off our scars to everyone we meet. Despite what happens, we are not victims. Besides, some people won’t understand our pain or be able to handle it appropriately.

But when we have the opportunity, we can use our scars to tell a story of grace, victory, and God’s goodness. Scars show how much we’ve been through, yes, but they also show how much we’ve been healed. Praise God!

Our trials, wounds, and scars can either distract us from Jesus or redirect us back to Him. I’m grateful I’ve chosen to draw near to the Lord. He has rebuilt me from the inside out, and His joy has been my strength. He is always with me and for me. He has never let me down!

Over the last six years, I’ve been constantly reminded life is so short. We can’t take anything for granted, but we can always be grateful. When we let God lead us, He takes such good care of us. He loves us so very much. Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for bringing us this far. We could not have made it without You. Please continue to lead and guide us. Thank You for using my pain and scars and for giving me a new purpose. I give You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Question: How do you like to celebrate the lives of your loved ones who have died?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Scars,” by I AM THEY. Also, reach out to a widow, single mom, or someone else who may need some encouragement today! Small acts of kindness can go a long way!

Finding Grace #164

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a good week and some days were very full. On Easter, we spent time with friends after church. We traveled to their house and we met a new couple as well. They had moved here from out of state (for school and work) and had wanted to re-establish their faith. Despite outward appearances, we discovered several things we had in common. Because of Jesus, we had an instant connection!

On Wednesday, we had a bikeathon at church as a fundraiser for missions. There were quite a few kids on bikes, scooters, roller blades, and skateboards. Also, the kids in Junior Bible Quiz who earned an achievement award received them. Lydia worked very hard all year and earned her Discoverer seal. I’m so proud of all her effort!

Thursday evening was spent with my Bible study ladies, while Friday another friend came over for Chinese. We also chatted with my family over the phone. I’m grateful for so many wonderful people in my life!

This morning, we went to an open house for a friend who graduated with her Ph.D. I met her faculty advisors and heard so many wonderful things about my friend and her influence on others for Jesus. She is full of joy, always has good things to say, and encourages everyone she meets! Her main advisor was a nice older gentleman originally from Bloomington, Illinois, very close to where I grew up. He even did his student teaching in my hometown many years ago. (He has been in Fargo at NDSU since 1976.) It is refreshing to find people who know where I am from. What a small world!

We had more beautiful weather this week. I enjoyed being out in the bright sun! I have seen several people stopping by our little free library. Today, I even saw a full rainbow around the sun (see pic above)! I have never seen that before in real life… normally we only see partial rainbows due to buildings, trees, or the horizon. Praise God!

Today, we met two new families on our block and saw other neighbors we already know. I’m especially grateful for all the sweet, funny (and sometimes crazy)  kids! I played ball with them, supervised them, answered a million questions, and fed them snacks. One little girl fell off her bike, and in tears, ran over to me for a hug. There are so many personalities among them, but each child adds so much to the group dynamics. 🙂

I’m grateful for how God always directs our path and blesses us. He is so good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Doing the Right Thing

Monday was Earth Day! Of course, every day is a good day to celebrate our beautiful planet! For starters, I enjoy watching nature docuseries, like “Our Planet.” 

I also enjoy David Attenborough’s voice… 😉

There are lots of ways to take care of the environment and our surroundings. Some ideas include recycling, upgrading appliances, switching to reusable straws (or going without), and shopping at thrift stores.

We can turn off lights to conserve electricity, turn off the faucet to save water, and walk or ride a bike to save fuel. We can change our diet, buy less, or split large packages of food or toiletries, and share with our neighbors.

Planting a garden or tree, beekeeping, or putting up bird feeders and birdhouses are also ways to be proactive. Switching to online subscriptions instead of paper may also work.

Recently, Lydia’s school collected our plastic grocery bags for recycling. We had just read her National Geographic Kid’s magazine on how most plastics end up in the ocean and the damage it does there. Needless to say, I sent my fair share of plastic bags to the school. I’m also trying to switch to reusable bags when I can.

In the last week, since most of our snow melted, I have noticed a lot of garbage sitting in the back of my yard and just off my property. I don’t know if it is intentional or if it flies away before it can be contained. Either way, trash has been accumulating near the fence on my boundary line.

On Monday, I asked Lydia if she and a friend would pick up the garbage for me. I planned to reward them, but suddenly Lydia’s friend was nowhere to be found. Instead, I ended up going out there with her. She was glad not to have to do it alone.

“It’s fun doing this with you, Mom,” Lydia said. “But why do we have to pick up everyone else’s garbage? And why is no one helping us?”

She had a good point. It wasn’t fair, but I explained it was the right thing to do.
We talked about being responsible and what it means to be a good steward. I mentioned—and hoped—that other families were doing other good things to help the Earth, too.

Talk is cheap, but doing the right thing is always a good choice. We have to take action if we want to have an impact. Even if we are doing it alone. 

We have so many resources to manage. How we use our time, money, and energy are personal to each of us, but those results can make-or-break our character. We can’t afford to just do the minimum because our lives are all intertwined. Our thoughts, words, and deeds will eventually affect someone or something else.

Jesus’ death on the cross was by no means fair. However, through His death and resurrection, Jesus set us free to do what is right. Selfishness is no longer our default.

Now, we have the freedom to follow a new path, which includes self-discipline, stewardship, and serving others. Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for creating such a beautiful universe and sharing it with us! You’re infinite wisdom and power are awe-inspiring. Help us take care of all You’ve entrusted to us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Did you do anything to “celebrate” Earth Day? Are you doing a good job stewarding your God-given resources, talents, and gifts? What needs to change?

Tasks: Check out these planet-friendly tips! Even small changes can make a big difference!

Finding Grace #163

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a full week and I saw God’s grace all around me! It was great to talk with family members in three states this week. I’m grateful for our conversations, funny stories, and support through prayer despite the distance between us. I got to support Lydia by attending her spring music program too. 

I participated in a couple of short online Bible studies with people this week. We all used the YouVersion Bible app and covered topics like having victory over fear and understanding the importance of Easter. It was so fun to connect spiritually with God’s people from a variety of locations and walks of life.

It was awful to watch Notre-Dame Cathedral burn in Paris. My sister and I had a wonderful time visiting France on a school trip in 1997. The destruction is hard to fathom, especially in the midst of ‘holy week’ leading up to Easter. However, it has been encouraging to see the collective response of grief from around the world. I enjoyed this picture of the aftermath, and I believe God spared many parts of the building.

This week, I received updates on several prayers this week. I have been praying for peoples’ jobs, health requests, relationships, and more. No request is too small to pray about. It is great to see God at work and to join Him!

We had beautiful weather this week. A couple days of scattered rain followed by the warm sun! Lydia spent a lot of time outside playing with friends. A neighbor helped me with my mower, as I was getting it ready for summer. The blade fell off last summer and I needed a little help putting it back on properly.

This week has been a wonderful reminder of Jesus’ love and sacrifice. Lydia and I have been using the Easter Story Egg each day. On Good Friday, we enjoyed a day at home followed by a wonderful church service. Thank You, Jesus!

I always want to keep the focus on Jesus for Easter. Sometimes, the candy and the fun can distract from Him. In our rush to “do all the things,” we can forget what matters most. So this morning, I let Lydia do our Easter egg hunt early so we are not rushed tomorrow.

About half of the Easter eggs contained a small amount of chocolate candy or my spare change (about $1.28). The remaining half had little pieces of paper with various instructions. Lydia had to do different exercises, give me a hug, tell me a joke, and list 5 things she was thankful for. We both enjoyed it and it didn’t take away from Jesus.

I’m grateful for how God always directs our path and blesses us. He is so good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #162

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was an interesting week! Sunday and Monday were gorgeous. Lydia played with the neighbors while I visited a friend, put out my deck furniture, and finally took down my Christmas lights. It was good to see friends and neighbors too!

Then, on Thursday and Friday, we had a spring blizzard! Lydia had an early dismissal followed by another snow day. It was nice to have extra time together!

It was a little odd to have both a flood warning and winter snow storm warning at the same time. This week, I noticed my tulips were starting to sprout with the warmer weather. Now they are covered by a two-foot-high snow drift (see the picture above). Thankfully, the snow won’t last… and hopefully, my flowers will still bloom like normal.

Yesterday evening, I volunteered to help with a ladies event at church. One of my friends offered to let Lydia come over and play. We ended up having Lydia spend the night. It was one of her first sleepovers and both girls were so excited. Lydia said she couldn’t stop smiling. I heard they stayed up quite late talking and giggling! Then, Lydia came home and took a two-hour nap on my lap! She told me she wasn’t tired, lol!

I’m grateful for how God always directs our path and blesses us. He is so good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #160

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was awesome! I felt God moving some big ‘mountains’ on my behalf. I also had many productive moments of my own. In fact, I was so focused, I readjusted my schedule to maintain my flow. I love when God blesses the work of my hands, but I am also aware of just how much I need His help.

I really appreciated talking with my parents this week. My mom called me to catch up and pray for me, which meant so much. Later, we were able to video chat with them, which makes the distance seem a little better. They sent Lydia a care package with some lovely spring clothes. Lydia enjoyed them so much!

We had warmer weather again this week! The wind was fairly mild, too. Praise God! I enjoyed chipping away at some ice and snow to ‘help’ it melt faster. I do what I can! 😉

I’m grateful for how God always directs our path and blesses us. He is so good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Sweet Savings

We were walking into a store on Sunday when Lydia said excitedly, “Mom! When I grow up, I want a motorcycle and a truck!” Then, she added, “And, maybe a car.”

I don’t know what made her say that, but it made me smile. “Well, you’re going to have to work hard and save up for all those vehicles, though your dad would be proud!”

A few weeks ago, we had a conversation about finances in the car as we left the grocery store. I told her I’d have to update my budget when we got home, which prompted the topics of giving, saving, and spending.

Lydia told me all about how a savings account works. She seemed pretty confident and what she said made sense. I asked, “Oh, did you learn about that from school?”

“No,” Lydia replied. “From Little Critter.”

Trying to keep a straight face, I asked, “Oh, really? Which book was that?”

Lydia reminded me of when Little Critter (the character by Mercer Mayer) did extra chores to save up money for something he wanted. At the end of the story, he sees how much money he has and decides to aim a little higher and get something better.

I didn’t want Lydia to think I was laughing at her, so I tried to control my reaction. But, I was thinking, “Well, either I’m doing something really right… or really wrong!”

Then, a few days later, Lydia brought home a book from school about a little girl turning in the money from her piggy bank. I knew it was time for us to do the same.

Instead of an allowance, I give Lydia small tickets which are a creative way for me to avoid always having to have cash on hand. It has been fun because it is somewhat random.

Lydia doesn’t know what will earn her a ticket, so it is always a surprise. It is a very flexible system; some weeks she gets no tickets because we forget! 🙂

I usually only offer one or two tickets for doing extra chores (if any), but I gave Lydia 15 tickets when she got her braces. She was so brave!

I tend to reward quality work without complaining and other traits I want to cultivate. These include obedience, patience, kindness, gentleness, service/volunteering, and self-control. 

I’m sure we’ll adjust our system over time, but for now, it works well!

Lydia proudly combined the cash and coins from her piggy bank with her 92 tickets, which she earned since last summer. This is our first go-around, so we decided each one was worth a quarter. Whew! I owed her $23 and added it to her stash.

We opened the account together and have continued our conversations about money. For example, Lydia and I have been discussing wants versus needs. 

Lydia doesn’t know much about my budget, but she has been turning the tables and questioning whether or not I need something. It’s been a little convicting at times!

These are all good reminders that God cares about our money. He always provides well for us, but we are stewards of the blessings He gives us. Are we being faithful?

 It is okay to have nice things, but are we using our money wisely? Are we tithing to our church? Are we only meeting our needs or looking for ways to help others?

It matters how we use or resources, and it is important to have these conversations with our children. Thankfully, Lydia is learning valuable lessons early on.

It was good to put Lydia’s money in the bank for safe keeping. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it will grow over time.

God not only bought us back from death but He continues to invest in us. Sometimes growth is quick and easy, but often, it takes a lot of hard work and discipline.

It is okay to start small, but don’t delay. Both a handful of coins and our little efforts add up. We will see the benefits, however, if we do not give up (see Galatians 6:9).

Trust God wherever you are with whatever you have right now. He is faithful!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your faithfulness and provision. Help us to have the right attitude about money. Help us to use our resources wisely. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you more of a spender or saver? Do you have a budget and set financial goals? How do you honor God with your finances?

Tasks: Take a moment to review your budget. Praise God for His provision and pray about any changes you need to make.

Finding Grace #159

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was really good!

On both Sunday and Monday, I kept Lydia home from church and school. She had a bad cold and was coughing everywhere. I wanted to let her rest and keep everyone else from getting sick. Thankfully, I disinfected the house and did not get her germs. She is mostly better now.

I had several good meetings this week. I received some good input on writing projects and other goals, and I was able to encourage those around me, too. I felt productive and was grateful for God’s provision and direction. I’m grateful!

We had warmer weather and some days it reached at least 40 degrees! We walked home from the bus with no jackets. Lydia played outside with several of our neighbors. It was fun seeing them all again. It is fun to see how much each kid has grown!

The warm, sunny days are great for melting our mounds of snow, but it could bring flooding if it happens too fast. We still have lots of snow and my house is not likely to be affected. However, several families I know are on high alert. Prayers are appreciated!

This week, we enjoyed the beauty of God’s magnificent creation. This included the warm sun, blue skies, melting snow, and patches of grass poking through. We enjoyed the supermoon and the spring solstice. We even heard geese honking as they flew North. Welcome, Spring!

I’m grateful for how God always directs our path and blesses us. He is so good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Bath Bomb Bonanza

On a recent Saturday, I was working on my laptop. I was focused on a big project and didn’t want to be interrupted. There was a deadline involved, and I was crunched for time.

I asked Lydia to read a book or find something quiet to do. Instead, she asked me if we could do a science project, using a kit she received for Christmas. She wanted to make bath bombs. It was more than I wanted to do, and I tried to redirect her.

Maybe she could color or read or do a puzzle…

A few minutes later, I heard Lydia rummaging around in the kitchen. She was only about ten feet away from me, and I sat with my back to her.

As I heard a cookie tray clanging in the cupboard, I walked over to check on her. In the past, I’ve let Lydia use a tray to contain everything from LEGO projects, marbles, beads, and more. But that day, Miss Independent had started making her own bath bombs!

In my best mom voice I said, “Lydia, I didn’t tell you that you could make bath bombs!”

With no delay in her response, Lydia replied, “Well, you didn’t tell me I couldn’t!”

True… but I thought it had been implied.

Nonetheless, Lydia was actually doing a good job reading the directions and putting the ingredients together. She had made a small mess but was trying her best to be clean.

So, in this one case, I let her continue.

On the one hand, I admire how Lydia jumps in to try new things. However, that day, I explained that I was not pleased she took matters in her own hands. I reinforced my role and set up some consequences.

As I coached her, it made me think of the times I do that too. I often ask God for help or for something specific, but how often do I then try to complete it on my own?

Sure, when it all falls apart, I’ll ask for help cleaning it up. But Jesus is not my fix-it guy.

Lydia loves to prove herself to me. As soon as she learns a skill, she thinks she is good-to-go in that area. She doesn’t realize there are different levels of learning before mastery.

She feels confident with any art project, especially if it uses paint, markers, scissors, tape, and/or glue. 🙂 She likes making simple meals. She also likes to “surprise” me by cleaning… sometimes without asking and usually on her own terms.

Lydia is not a defiant child. Generally, she tries to be helpful. A couple days ago, she even tried to take a bath all on her own and got upset when I said I was going to supervise. Safety first!

I’m grateful for a child who is so willing and able to do things on her own. But as a parent, I can see that we can accomplish so much more together when Lydia asks for help and listens. We can have more fun if she waits for me and follows my leading.

I’m also glad God’s love for me does not depend on my own merit. Thankfully, He loves me despite my messes and mistakes! Still, His boundaries are there for my protection.

This bath bomb experience was a good reminder for both of us!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for the lessons You teach me through parenting. Give me grace and wisdom each day. Give me strength to be both firm and loving. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you done any fun science experiments lately? Have you tried to do life on your own terms? How did that work out?

Tasks: Check in with Jesus before starting your next big project. Invite Him to be involved. See what His plans are first… He only wants the best for you!

Finding Grace #158

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was another exciting week! On Sunday, I backed into a snow bank, but on Monday evening, I prayed and God helped me remove the dent from my fender! I appreciated the input of my friends, too. They advised that I heat up the area with a hair dryer, which worked really well! Thank You, Jesus!

Work went well this week. I enjoyed being shadowed by some dietetic interns. It is fun to see their excitement for our field and to teach them about various diseases and conditions. I appreciate being able to influence these students and give back.

This week, we were due for yet another winter storm (aka ‘bomb cyclone’). Our evening activities were canceled and so was school on Thursday. We did get some rain (ice) and snow, but thankfully not as much as predicted. Other areas around us did get hit, however, so it was better to be safe than sorry. We enjoyed another relaxing day at home.

Yesterday, Lydia had a planned day off of school. I took her to my tax appointment, and then we had the whole day to ourselves! We had fun reading at the bookstore, eating at Chick-Fil-A, and going to the dollar store. Later we ran some other errands and did some spring cleaning at home! It was a productive day!

Today, Lydia and I went with a friend to see ‘Mary Poppins Returns’ in Moorhead. We really enjoyed it! The singing and dancing were original yet reminiscent of the first movie. I am glad we saw it in the theater!

It has finally started to be warm enough to start melting. We had about 63 days of below freezing temperatures, so even 33-degrees (F) feels sublime! I’m looking forward to the Spring thaw, but also praying we don’t have a severe flood. Slow and steady wins the race…

I’m grateful for how God always directs our path and blesses us. He is so good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!