Tag: grief

Posted on in Being Gracious, Food and Nutrition, Journey of Grace, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

The last two days, work has been a little hectic. Not bad, just busy.

I already had a full schedule without much time in between patients. And then, I had some unexpected phone calls to return. Phone calls are normal, but these were a little more involved and time-consuming.

I ‘inherited’ a complex patient with many medical problems. I was assigned to take over after they made unfounded complaints about a very qualified coworker. Simply put, the patient’s family did not get the answers they wanted, and sadly, his prognosis is difficult to accept.

This patient requires a feeding tube, but it’s unusual due to how the tube was placed and medical complications (not related to his VA care). To start, the patient has cancer and is undergoing multiple treatments. But the bad news just keeps piling up.

In many ways,  it reminds me of Dave’s own cancer battle… and my emotional reactions. Unfortunately, this patient has even more medical issues, if you can imagine that.

Free Doctor Doctor'S Office photo and picture

So, while I am empathetic towards the patient, he has a lot of needs. I have years of experience to draw upon, but each situation is different. I have fought to get them what they need, but more than once, the family has put me on the spot. While I encourage advocacy for loved ones, I consistently do my best to provide the highest level of care.

In the past, with other patients, I occasionally have been yelled at when trying to get to the bottom of certain challenges. For instance, I won’t order something if it puts the patient at more risk. I wait until I have adequate justification, but patients sometimes argue and make their own decisions anyway (which is their right). While it doesn’t happen often, this week, I felt circumstances were going in that direction.

Even though the patient’s family had been friendly on the phone, they went to other sources to try and get what I wasn’t quite ready to provide. I was still gathering information and needed them to work with me, not against me. Nonetheless, it made me feel like they thought I wasn’t doing my job.

And reflecting on my own journey, I remembered my fight is not against other people (Ephesians 6:12). Still, I dreaded calling the patient again. 

Then yesterday morning, I was in my car getting ready to walk inside to my office. I was stalling by listening to the radio in my car. One of my favorite songs, “Battle Belongs,” by Phil Wickham, came on. (Sample lyrics below)

When all I see is the battle, You see my victory
When all I see is the mountain, You see a mountain moved
And as I walk through the shadow, Your love surrounds me
There’s nothing to fear now for I am safe with You
So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And if You are for me, who can be against me? Yeah
For Jesus, there’s nothing impossible for You
When all I see are the ashes, You see the beauty
Thank You God
When all I see is a cross, God, You see the empty tomb
So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
Almighty fortress, You go before us
Nothing can stand against the power of our God
You shine in the shadow, You win every battle
Nothing can stand against the power of our God
Nurse placed adapter in equipment probe of enteral nutrition, palliative care in hospital, conceptual image, composition hotizontal Nurse placed adapter in equipment probe of enteral nutrition, palliative care in hospital, conceptual image, composition hotizontal enteral nutrition stock pictures, royalty-free photos & images

Singing along, I was gently reminded that not only is God for me, He is also for my patient and his family. Not only is He for us as people, but He is also 100% against cancer. God will always aim for a win-win, and only He has the power to do it time and again!

Yes, I remembered this battle belongs to the Lord. So, I decided to let God fight for me, knowing He is also fighting for my patient. I had a good brainstorming session with two of my coworkers, including the specialist on the case before me. I was still nervous to call, but when I did, a creative temporary solution had already been provided. They were going to try that, and I’ll check back with them later this week. 

It’s still a very tough trial, and short of a miracle, this patient will continue to decline. But, while it’s my job to care for him nutritionally, I also feel responsible to pray for his comfort, healing, and well-being. Similarly, I can respond with grace and compassion, since I know what it feels like when the tables are turned.

Ultimately, Jesus is our living hope. There is no need to fear. We can trust Him in all things because He has already won the war, and our Victory is in Him!

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God, You are so good. Thanks for taking good care of all my patients and me. Thanks for fighting our battles, Lord. Help us rely on You and share Your love with others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you ever been in a similar situation, where you are doing your best and people misjudge your effort (or you feel like they are)? How did you handle it?

Tasks: Remember that fear and dread are not from God. Put your trust in Jesus, and watch Him fight your battles.

 

Posted on in Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Pivot, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

On Summer Bucket Lists

Summer is always an exciting time of year. Typically, there are a lot of fun activities, people to see, and places to go. Summer weather sure makes it easier to get around. Small errands are quick and don’t take extra effort! Indeed, it is great not to have to bundle up in layers just to go outside! 

Sometimes, it’s difficult to figure out what to do and what to skip. We are more likely to try new things in summer because it feel more free. The daytime hours last longer, but if I am not careful, I could sign up for too much and miss all the wonderful surprises of the season.

It is wise to pray and ask for wisdom before we make our plans.

Free Sunflower Flower photo and picture

For my summer bucket list, I would like to take at least one little hike with Lydia and at least one early morning bike ride with her (before traffic gets crazy). I want to keep working on my yard and sit around a campfire with friends. I want to read some books and listen to my windchimes while sitting on the deck. Add a cup of coffee for the perfect Saturday morning… It’s good to find time to be still!

Lydia’s list is fairly short. She would like to go swimming and hang out with her friends.  She’s also excited to play volleyball and go to camp. Pretty simple.

Last night, I was reminded of a memory from ten years ago when I questioned God’s faithfulness. I angrily accused God of not doing His part to bring the spring. Yes, it had been a really long winter watching Dave decline… But then, in His own way and time, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “I always bring the spring, and I bring the summer, too.”

Immediately, I understood that He had a good plan for me regardless of what happened. (And things certainly got worse!) But, over the years, I have found myself thinking about the summer metaphor, and just as I was writing this post, it hit me.

Maybe this is it.

Free Sunset Sun photo and picture

Lydia and I are not just having a great summer, we are in a place where we are thriving. We have found a good rhythm and are growing every day. We aren’t letting little setbacks become major. We are seeking God’s grace and finding it along the way. We are grateful.

That doesn’t mean everything is perfect. But, it is good. Summer is about a third over, but we don’t know how long the metaphorical summer will last. So, I better make the best of every season and trust God.

You might be going through something rough right now, and it’s hard to see the way forward, let alone think of a bucket list. I understand.

Draw near to God; lay your burdens at the feet of His throne. Rest in Him.

If you let Him, He will carry you to a good spot where you will thrive. He is faithful.

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God, thanks for the gift of summer. You have good plans for us, always. Help us make the most of our time in this beautiful season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you have a summer bucket list? What are your top three items on the list?

Task: Make a list of all the things you would like to do. Road trips, concerts, camping, fishing, etc. Map out your summer because it will go fast!

 

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance

Finding #376

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week. We had a mini staycation, which included a quiet Mother’s Day on Sunday. We hiked, relaxed, and played a little soccer game with the neighbor boys…perfect! I am so grateful to be Lydia’s mom, but it’s also a little bittersweet since it reminds me of being a single parent since the anniversary of Dave’s death occurs around the same time.

On Monday, I took the day off from work and enjoyed celebrating Dave’s life with Lydia. We tried to make the best of it, though we’ve been missing him for ten years now.

The weather was really nice this week! I loved seeing all the flowery trees! Lydia helped me mow about half the yard on Wednesday, so that helped save me a lot of time! I did the trim work and then finished the lawn. Then today, we enjoyed going for a walk all around the neighborhood and later played ball together!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward book, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Hallelujah Anyway!

Monday was the tenth anniversary of Dave’s death. A whole decade without him. Not knowing how I would feel, I took time off to give myself the space to just be.

Sometimes we go away and do something special, but this year, we decided to do a staycation instead. Lydia and I celebrated Dave’s life by doing fun things all weekend. We played games, made brownies, went on a little hike, tried hyperbowling, and went out to eat a fancy dinner! I also went on a bike ride and got a massage while she was in school.

You’d think I’d have it all figured out by now. Been there, done that. But somehow, the last few months felt like I was going back to the beginning. Not necessarily in terms of deep grief but rather second-guessing myself. Like, “Why I am I still dealing with this or that?” I think it stemmed from being overwhelmed with work and other decisions while not having enough time to really rest.

Overwhelm is loosely related to fear, which, historically, has been a stronghold for me. I know when that happens, I need to re-evaluate and deal with it right away. So, as you may recall, I spoke up at work and made some personal changes. I prayerfully focused on quiet time with the Lord and self-care, such as exercise, sleep, simple meals, and restorative activities. I am feeling much better now!
Not too long ago, one of my dear college friends sent me a message that she was praying for me. She said, “The same God who was with you then is with you now. You have grown and changed and will continue to grow and change, but God has and will remain the same… mind-blowing!” She then quoted Psalm 62:5, “Find rest my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.”
Well, I think that’s a pretty good summary of God’s faithfulness! I could not do any of this without Him. He is so gracious and reliable. I feel His presence and wisdom when answering every one of Lydia’s many deep questions about life, death, Dave, and pre-teen worries.
Thanks to all those who continue to support us through prayer, words of encouragement, and the occasional hand around the house. I have an amazing family, neighbors, coworkers, and friends. I appreciate each person who sends a card, a prayer, a well-timed word, or helps around the house on occasion.
So, while Monday was a near-perfect day, honestly, I was a little relieved when it was over. We made it through, but it’s just a lot, you know? Then yesterday, I heard this song, “Hallelujah Anyway,” by Rend Collective. It was a great reminder that our hope is in Jesus. “Even if” or when life goes awry, God is still in control and on His throne, we have the Holy Spirit working in us, and we have eternity with Jesus in Heaven.
Our emotions and circumstances don’t dictate our response to God’s presence in our lives. I hope you can say “hallelujah anyway” through whatever you face today. God is worthy of all our praise and gratitude. He is so good!
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God, we praise You, when things go well and even when they don’t… because You are worthy through it all. Thanks for Your grace and goodness. May we be a living example of Your love today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Question: In what ways might you say, “hallelujah anyway” today?
Task: Life is so short. Make sure to celebrate and appreciate all the goodness in your life. Remember to praise God and thank Him, as He is the source of all good things!

Posted on in Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward book, Gratitude, Miscellaneous, Personality, Wisdom

Mood Meter

Hello! How are you feeling today? Today, I want to tell you about a tool called an emotion wheel that can help you understand how you feel so you can decide what to do about it!

I first encountered it while writing my book, though it has existed for many years. It helped me describe my feelings about Dave’s sickness and death, not to mention my struggle with fear, faith, and moving forward.

The act of writing was rewarding but challenging, so I appreciated being able to point to an adjective and analyze my feelings, process my grief, and stick with my project. In short, this tool takes abstract concepts and makes them more concrete.

I recently came across the emotion wheel again, and it felt like God’s perfect timing, as next Monday is the tenth anniversary of Dave’s death.

Most emotion wheels will highlight the basic feelings of happiness/joy, sadness/grief, fear, anger, disgust, and surprise. As Lysa TerKeurst says, “Emotions are indicators, not dictators.” So, we can use them for insight, but they don’t run the show and should not predict how we act.

We must identify emotions to validate and resolve them before they spill over on others. Unchecked emotions can lead to assumptions and wreak havoc. If not now, later. Unresolved anger can lead to passive aggressiveness, jealousy, and revenge. Fear can yield playing it safe and missed opportunities. Grief, without an outlet, can stop someone from living fully.

There are several ways to use the emotion wheel. You can start in the middle and work your way out, or vice versa. Find words that resonate with you and see how they are related. Then, you can come up with the next steps to address them.

Not surprisingly, it is common to feel several emotions at any moment. We may be confused or conflicted, like we are literally all over the place internally. Many of us feel physical sensations, like headaches, gut issues, pain, etc. We also tend to misunderstand others’ emotions, taking things personally when we shouldn’t.

Here are a couple of examples that have stood out to me when I’ve used the wheel:

“Oh, I am feeling isolated, which is similar to being lonely and related to sadness. Hmmm… could it be another layer of grief?” I could take a walk, but maybe I need to call someone for support.

or

“I am feeling overwhelmed, which is next to anxiety, which is rooted in fear. Why am I feeling afraid?” I should read some Bible verses about fear and turn my worries over to God.

Another example is this: I had a fun day recently, laughing and receiving good news. As you can imagine, I was mostly feeling happy emotions. In some ways, reading the adjectives later helped me relish the joy all the more.

Interestingly, I rarely feel angry – I deal more with fear… while Lydia more easily identifies with anger – yet it comes and goes quickly! We both relate to happiness and sadness, but less often, disgust. It has been fun to see and hear her perspective, and I hope it is a way for us to continue communicating as she moves into middle school.

Another tool is a chart I found on Etsy. It came as a download or in the form of a pillowcase! It ranks feelings according to a spectrum of energy and positivity. Anger is an adverse reaction, and it uses a lot of emotional energy. The sad emotions are typically less positive and drain energy. Joy is positive and high energy, while calmness is positive and low energy.

This was insightful because I tend to feel lower energy levels, but now I wonder if it’s just my personality. As an introvert, I get excited sometimes, but overall, I enjoy calmness and a slower pace. In fact, this is a great strength, but the world moves more quickly. Thankfully, I am learning to interpret what’s going on a little better so I can plan ahead. If I have a big event ahead, I can pare down my schedule to conserve energy and implement some strategies for coping and recovery.

Of course, there is no right way or wrong way to feel. These are simply tools. Nonetheless, you can combine them with Scripture to tap into all God has for you!

While Satan wants us to stay stuck in our emotions, distracted and offended, Jesus wants us to live fully! (See John 10:10.) Instead of being ruled by our feelings, let’s use them to turn to God! Instead of running away from our emotions, let’s use them to run to God.

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God, thanks for giving us emotions to help us feel and understand Your goodness. Help us to honor You and manage them well. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Do you notice how your emotions change throughout the day? How does that affect your energy? What is your natural response to your feelings?
Tasks: For a fun challenge, use an emotion wheel to track how you feel during the day. Note any themes, pray about resolving any negativity, and keep moving forward!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Worship

Finding Grace #373

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Bird Female photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week stood out to me, and I saw God’s grace every day. It was a week of old friends, good conversations, and throwback music. I even saw a cardinal at work, which I rarely see because I still have young trees at home. Just what I needed!

My friend, Krystal, now lives in Colorado with her husband, Owen, their three boys, and a new baby girl. Krystal was in town for a family event and brought two of her kids, including the baby. She and our friend, Sara, who also has a new baby, came over to visit with a third friend. We caught up over a few hours, and it was just like old times. (You may remember them from my book.) It was fun to see how much our lives have changed over the years.

Work was a little more relaxed this week, and it has been a nice change of pace. I appreciate our managers have listened and helped set up some better boundaries as far as our patient load. As it was, I still had several other calls to make, such as patient issues that popped up, as well as some projects to work on. I still needed to cover a few areas, but I’m glad I had a little margin.

On Thursday night, Lydia and I went to see a living legend, Steven Curtis Chapman, in concert at the Fargo Theater! Lydia wasn’t really sure who he was at first, but soon felt an emotional connection to his music. It could be that they have the same birthday, but she related our missing Dave to his own losses and grief. Hearing him discuss faith and perseverance was the best! It encouraged us to keep moving forward!

Last night, Lydia and I played a game and watched the birds outside in the yard. Today, we worked on some projects and organized around the house. Lydia also went on a little bike ride in our neighborhood with a friend. It feels great that Spring is here!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Personality, Procrastination, Wisdom, Worship

Last-Minute Blessing

Recently, I met with a new widow for coffee at church. She is an older woman, and I just happened to reach out to see how she was coping. As expected, she confirmed the first several weeks are like a train wreck. 

I only met her husband briefly, but they were married for over twenty years. He was a Veteran and will be buried with full honors at the Fargo National Cemetary. I hope to attend with Lydia if we are available that day.

We talked for about two hours as Lydia sat nearby and read a book. I asked questions and answered them. I looked up a phone number for her and really just listened. I hope she was as encouraged as I was!

I brought my friend a little artificial orchid, knowing it would be a blessing – and perhaps a bright spot when she is feeling down. I didn’t want her to have to remember to water it – like I did with my tomato plant all those years ago!

She mentioned two things that impacted me. She said God spoke to her heart at church that day in a powerful way; she said if I hadn’t invited her, she would still be at home. Whoa. I am so glad I listened!

Indeed, it was good to see my friend’s face light up with joy at the cute plant. I noticed her touching it from time to time during our conversation. She thanked me and said she knew the perfect spot for it at home!

I’m not sharing this to show you how amazing I am. Honestly, I almost left the orchid at home and brought a different plant. That’s because I wanted to keep the orchid for myself! 

It’s a little humbling to admit my selfishness, but I needed the reminder to be generous. I am so glad I listened to the Holy Spirit’s prompting. On my way out the door, I ran back inside to grab the orchid and put it in my purse. I decided I didn’t want to look at the orchid with regret, wishing I had given it away. It was a last-minute blessing, and I didn’t want to miss the opportunity!

In some ways, I wanted to be an example for Lydia to do the right thing. On our drive to church, we discussed how a fake little plant almost prevented me from showing Jesus’ love to someone who really needed it. Yes, I could probably find it again and buy it online, but it was a good lesson for us both!

We talked about how we are God’s ambassadors and represent Him. His love for others flows through us as we serve and give. God can take my little sacrifice and do something big with it. So, we shouldn’t hold back a blessing meant for someone else.

Sometimes, people ask God, “Why aren’t you using me?” But, I wonder how often we limit His work in our lives simply because we ignore His still, small voice. How can we expect Him to do something big or exciting if we aren’t obedient in the little things?

We don’t need to wrestle with being kind. We don’t need to question if God wants us to give. It is not a question of IF, but how or how much. We can certainly pray for wisdom but don’t doubt or procrastinate. We can afford to be generous and give what we have.

Indeed, God never gives us His second best or second rate. Jesus was the only option, and He was all in. Jesus gave His life for us, so we could live for Him.

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God, thanks for being so generous! Thanks for the opportunity to join You at work. Please help me be kind, generous, and gracious toward others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you trust that God can take your offering and multiply it?

Task: Don’t allow yourself to settle for second best. Always give your best to God!

Posted on in Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

Finding Rest Among Busyness

Well, it’s another full week and I can already see God’s grace at play. It happens to be Spring Break (Wed-Fri). That said, I took the time off to spend with Lydia, but also scheduled five, maybe six, routine appointments for the week!

I could have spread out the appointments over the next several weeks, but I thought it was best to take advantage of the timing. For example, I am getting my taxes done and getting my oil changed (plus some car maintenance). Also, Lydia has a quick appointment where I won’t have to take her out of school. I will try to work on some organizing projects around the house, too.

I worked Monday and Tuesday, though I left early yesterday because Lydia wasn’t feeling well at school. We did meet the very helpful school nurse, so that was a bonus! Lydia is fine overall, but her POTS got the best of her. It was good for her to rest.

Free Time Work photo and picture

I left her at home for a few minutes while I went to her parent-teacher conference alone. It hit me as I walked through the book fair: it was our last conference and book fair in that school. Next fall will be completely different!

As I waited for my turn, I talked with my neighbor boys in the hallway (waiting for their parents). It was so good to catch up with them, as I heard all they are interested in. I offered condolences on the recent death of their cat, and one of them offered to help clear my snow sometime. It was refreshing as I have known them for all these years, and they are still as friendly as ever!

Lydia’s conference went well, as I expected. I can’t help but get a little emotional, though, and yesterday was no different. I tend to become rather reflective.

It’s good to hear how well Lydia is doing, but I also see how much she has grown and learned. Time is going so fast! I am grateful God has entrusted me with her, and I think of how Dave would be so proud. I also think about how much he is missing, though I am confident God will make it up to all of us in Heaven.

Lydia has been missing Dave a lot lately, even wearing some of his clothes around the house. She is so much like him, and we talk about him often. In fact, two months from today, we will be celebrating his life and us making it ten years without him.

That’s hard to believe, but God has carried us all this time. I appreciate the friends who have reached out to offer support, most often unaware of how we have been feeling. Isn’t God good like that?!

Free Lists To Do illustration and picture

In addition to the appointments coming up this week, I told a friend how I had four specific things to accomplish last night after the school conference, including my tax prep work and blog. The most time-consuming was probably the tax prep because I wanted to review an entire year’s worth of data (which I had to find and download first!).

While I wasn’t happy Lydia was sick, God graciously gave me a few extra hours to work on my taxes yesterday before the appointment this morning. I didn’t want to show up completely unprepared, but I hadn’t been able to get to it until then. Whew!

And, that made it so I had a little more flexibility with the other items on my to-do list. Lydia and I even enjoyed watching the movie, “Annie,” which was the perfect way to start off our break together! It was fun hearing a lot of the famous songs and one-liners. The song, “Tomorrow,” is always encouraging on its own!

While all of this may just seem like a lot of busyness (even with important appointments), I have spaced them out, so we are not rushing. Instead, I will stay focused on God and let Him redeem our time. He helps me prioritize.

May we all stay close to the Lord and rest in Him, even when life gets a little hectic.

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Gracious Father, thanks for all Your love and care. You are so good to us! Thanks for taking such good care of us and guiding our steps. Help us to rest in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: How do you see God at work in your life this week?

Task: Despite your busyness, stay close to God. He’s our Shepherd and Guide! He will make sure you get the most important things done in due time.

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Food and Nutrition, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

Finding Grace #357

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a fun, full week! We rang in the new year with friends and had off Monday. 

Work was a little slower but good. We celebrated a coworker’s birthday, which is always fun. I had a few people not come, but I did still have some good conversations with Veterans. I love seeing them learn how to take better care of themselves with their food choices!

I took a couple of cool tree pictures at home and work. The snow and frost on the trees were so pretty! I park in a local church lot and then walk across the street (and through the healing gardens Spring through Fall). It is one of the best parts of my day, enjoying the beauty around me.

This week, Lydia and I started a 1,000 piece Peanuts puzzle I bought her for Christmas. I don’t know how long it will take, but we will be working on it here and there. I don’t recall if we have done as big of a puzzle or not. We set it up on an extra table in the living room, so hopefully, it is done soon! It was really fun to hear Lydia chat away – she talked my ear off for about an hour about all sorts of things! She really opened up when her hands and mind were busy!

Lydia and I went out to eat for dinner last night to celebrate my 15th wedding anniversary. Dave and I would have done something similar, so she was happy to be my date. We had some good food and good conversation. It was fun to tell her more about Dave and hear what was on her mind.

Today, we have been busy with lots of little chores. I have been cooking some meals for the next week and doing our Saturday things. It’s all fun when I have time to do these tasks in an unhurried manner! It’s also been good to reflect on my time with Dave. Thanks for all your love, prayers, and encouragement!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

Always

On this last Wednesday of 2022, I am reflecting on all that has happened over the previous year. This was a reasonably calm year regarding emotions and drama (grief is always behind the scenes, but not as big day-to-day). We traveled to see family and friends in Arizona, Michigan, and Montana. We also had a few visitors, which is always fun!

Otherwise, we had more of our usual… work, school, serving, and hanging out! Sometimes keeping the status quo is a good thing! Flash forward to the holidays, which are good but sometimes challenging.

I worked on Christmas Morning – it was my turn, after all – but I was thinking of what to do about it all year! I didn’t want to leave Lydia alone, especially since I wasn’t sure how long I would be gone. Any other day would have been fine, but Christmas packs a more powerful punch.

It was a conundrum for me as a single parent. I didn’t want to invite Lydia to someone’s house on Christmas. And if the weather was bad, or if she was sick… well, there were many factors to consider! I prayed a lot over the last year!

Free photos of Snowman

A few local people offered solutions, but none were quite right. Then, a few months ago, my sister and brother-in-law decided they could come for Christmas. Earlier this month, one of our friends invited Lydia as a backup, which was appreciated.

As it got closer, my sister and I discussed all the fun activities we wanted to do. But, I still wasn’t sure they would make it because the weather tends to be a wild card! Ironically, despite all my planning for work, it still came down to a last-minute decision to come a day early. My family rolled in at 2:30 a.m. on Thursday and just beat the bad weather!

We made some great memories and celebrated some old ones. It was so fun to have them here for Christmas! We enjoyed shopping, baking, toddler-chasing, playing in the snow, Christmas movie-watching, and much more!

Well, working on Christmas went better than I imagined. I prayed for God’s grace and mercy, and He gave me an ‘easy’ day. Lydia was sick, and it did snow a bit. But, God took care of the biggest hurdles, and Aunt Livi and Uncle Paul were here to stay with Lydia. So, she didn’t have to be alone.

Recently, I heard the song “Always” by Chris Tomlin. It has been running through my mind ever since! I’m grateful God comes through for us… always and in all ways.

I like the chorus below:

“Your mercy is mighty age after age, and all generations will bow down and praise
The Lord is faithful, yesterday, now and always”

What a timely reminder that we can plan, but God directs our steps (Proverbs 16:9). I had been worried about all the what-ifs, but even so, God was with us. He smoothed out the issues and covered them with His grace and provision.

I know God will continue to carry us in the coming year. I see a few hurdles ahead, but know He has a good plan. God has never let me down – He is always faithful, and I put my trust in Him.

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Thanks, Lord, for always guiding my path and walking with me! Thanks for providing help and fun during this holiday season. May we continue to trust You in the new year ahead. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What was your most significant highlight of the year? What was something difficult you faced? How did God come through for you?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Always,” by Chris Tomlin. Write down how God has been faithful to you this year.