Gifts Galore

As I previously mentioned, this entire holiday season has been the best in quite some time! The last several weeks have stood out for many reasons. Each situation—including Halloween, Lydia’s birthday, Thanksgiving, and Dave’s birthday—has seemed extra special this year. Praise God!

So far, Christmas has also been distinct. We’ve decorated more, started new traditions, and even skipped a few tasks. We’ve simplified where needed, but have also celebrated at a deeper level this year.

This year, Lydia and I are keeping it simple. I am enjoying the slower pace. Lydia…well, she’s super excited about what’s already under the tree. I don’t go overboard, but loved ones have been sending gifts!

That said, I’m not super creative when it comes to gift-giving. In the past, I struggled if I couldn’t find ‘the perfect gift.’ Sometimes I would end up giving nothing if it wasn’t ‘just right.’ But I have since put off perfectionism and put on grace! And gift cards still count. When given with love, everything falls into place. It’s not so much the gift, but the heart that counts.

Jesus is certainly the most precious gift we could ever receive. At the same time, we give gifts to show love to each other. And, we show our love for God by living for Him—doing our best and giving our best back to Him.

I didn’t always understand this. I often felt like others had better gifts and talents—or were better at using them. Perhaps they were just willing to give whatever they had!

I felt like whatever I offered had to be super special…something extraordinary.

Yes, it took me awhile to figure out my God-given talents and abilities. Thankfully, I have learned so much these last few years. He can use anything given back to Him with the right heart. When we use our gifts to serve God and bless others, that’s when we find the most fulfillment, joy and peace.

When I didn’t have much emotional reserve, I brought my tears. I also brought my grief and uncertainty, fears and doubts. I guess you could say I gave out of my lack.

And in return for my weaknesses, Jesus gave me His strength. He also gave me even more of His love and grace, peace and joy. Yes, God has brought healing! He always gives out of His abundance! Gifts galore!!

This year I have seen beauty instead of ashes, color instead of shadows. He’s given me gladness in place of mourning (see Isaiah 61:3). And this holiday season, I have given the Lord praise with a grateful heart.

This week, we’ve had the honor of hosting a friend with her little toddler. Each day has been different but really fun. My friend made plans to stay with us months ago, and we have been looking forward to it. But her visit has also been such a gift to me!

We have visited other friends, watched movies, played in the snow, and shared childcare duties. We’ve enjoyed good food and stayed up late, talking and encouraging each other. These one-on-one skills use my strengths and bring me joy. And as we discuss what’s on our hearts, I can see more evidence of God’s healing my own.

This year, it really has been simple. I’ve been able to rest and give back to the Lord out of the abundance He’s already given me. And, as I have given hospitality, time, and friendship, I have been blessed with even more of the same!

**********

Father God, thanks for giving us Jesus. Thank You for Your gracious healing and dear friends. Help us give our best back to you each day. Change our hearts and perspective as we experience Your presence. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have special plans for Christmas? What was the best gift you have ever given or received?

Tasks:  Write down your God-given talents. If you don’t know your strengths, pray about it! Ask God and other people what you do best. Then, serve and bless others!

Hope and Healing for the Holidays

What a difference a year can make!

This year, my holiday preparations started back in September! One Sunday, I went up front for prayer during the church service. I asked the volunteer couple to pray with me; I was a little nervous about the upcoming holidays.

I needed peace and reassurance, because the entire last quarter of 2015—October through December—was pretty rough grief-wise. So I was praying for a non-repeat.

I’m so glad I asked for prayer.

Praise God, we’ve had by far the best holiday season yet. We’ve had many special moments with family and friends over the years, but this entire season has been good.

It’s not just what we have done—but also what we haven’t done—that’s different. We’ve hosted visitors, attended holiday events, and enjoyed new traditions, sure.

One thing we did not do: Send Christmas cards.

I felt I would have been running short on time to crank out cards to our many loved ones. And because our season has gone well, I decided to be still and take it all in.

Sure, the picture below is unedited (with other peoples’ heads in the way). 🙂 But, I have more peace and joy as-is. Honoring Jesus by not being so stressed feels way better.

Also, this season, Lydia and I reached a happy milestone! We decided to put up the ‘big’ six-foot Christmas tree for the first time in at least five years.

For the last several years, it was just too much physically and emotionally to handle decorating the tree on my own. It brought me more tears than joy. Yet this year feels vastly different—I am grateful for God’s gracious healing!

Last week, my neighbor helped me bring up the tree out of the dusty closet, so Lydia and I could decorate it. Now that she is old enough to understand more, it is so fun to see her excitement! Lydia is delighted with all things Christmas.

For me, this holiday season feels like a gift. It’s like I am seeing things in full color! To be honest, for the first time in years, I am truly excited to celebrate the wonder of Jesus’ birth!!

I am already looking forward to Christmas, without even knowing my exact plans!

Instead of rushing through the season from one event to the next, I’ve taken time to pause and enjoy each moment. We hung a new wreath outside and bought new bright red, Christmas decorations for inside. We’ve played games, made treats and watched holiday movies. It’s been fun!

Dear friend, I pray you are also having a wonderful season of celebration. I hope you are able to feel the joy of Christmas. But, I also know how you feel if this feels like the worst season yet. Last year was unexpectedly difficult for me. So, I’ve been there!

Maybe this year you need to simplify your decorations or buy something new. Or, quite possibly, you might just skip decorating altogether. I understand!

It might be less stressful to stay home for Christmas or maybe you will feel better by traveling to visit loved ones. I’ve done both!

Yes, each season has its own unique challenges. Remember to treat yourself well.

Ask for help, when needed, and adjust your expectations.

If you want to read my holiday posts from last year, click here for the start of my December 2015 posts. I hope you are encouraged!!

You may feel like each day is a battle, when everyone else is laughing and carrying on. You might have to fight just to put on a smile. I get it.

I also know the best thing you can do…. Whether you are facing fear, loneliness, discouragement, or immense sadness, bring it to Jesus.

If you feel like you have nothing to bring to Him for Christmas, bring whatever you have. Your honesty is precious to Him! He can handle it and use it to heal your heart.

Jesus loves you deeply, and He will never leave you alone.

You don’t have to have your life perfect…Just come!

Someday, Life will be good again. It will get better! But, it’s going to take some time to heal. Let our dear Savior King touch your spirit with his grace and love.

Linger in Jesus’ presence. Even if that is all you can do today, that’s okay. The rest will come. Take it one day, one hour, or one minute at a time. Don’t forget to breathe. Conserve your energy, and reserve your best for Jesus.

In the midst of your struggle, God is there. His plan for you is GOOD. Remain close to Him and you will find peace and grace in your time of need.

**********

Father God, thanks for Your gracious healing. Thanks for making all things new. When our hearts are burdened with grief, pain, or discouragement, remind us to turn to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Do you have any special holiday traditions? Who, or what, are you missing this season? How can I pray for you?

Tasks: Find someone you trust and ask for prayer. Find a quiet spot and just be still before the Lord. Let Jesus fill your heart with peace.

Turning Trials into Triumph

Happy September! We had a great first day of preschool on Tuesday! Of course, Lydia did awesome. I kept it together (mostly) and tried to enjoy the change of pace as well!

First Day of Preschool 2016

Though, on Monday, Lydia played with several friends in the neighborhood. One last hurrah! Thankfully, Lydia was out of earshot when a little girl asked me:

Where’s her father?

Surprised at the question, I explained that he had been sick and is now in heaven. The little girl nodded her head with genuine concern and said, “Oh… that happened to my dog, too!” And then she went back to playing with the other kids.

What a perceptive little girl! She must’ve known all the other dads were at work. While I didn’t expect her question, I was glad she had the courage to ask. Her cute little response made me smile!

Then, on Monday night, Lydia and I talked about preschool as we ate dinner. I told Lydia how proud of her Dave would be. I also reminded her of what she could say if someone asks about him. It doesn’t happen often, but I want her to be comfortable and prepared.

After we laid out Lydia’s new outfit, a sparkly green dress, I painted her nails to match. Then, we read The Night Before Preschool and said our prayers. Lydia was asleep in no time. She was ready

crayons

ME, on the other hand?Let’s just say I needed some time with Jesus!

There wasn’t anything really ‘wrong.’ I was excited for Lydia!

But emotions welled up as I reflected on how far we’ve come—and my conversation with our new little friend. The actual words hadn’t bothered me; it was an honest question. But I was upset that we had to have the conversation. A subtle difference, sure!

I couldve wallowed there for quite some time. Ahem. But I didn’t. I took it to Jesus, because I know He loves me so much. And praise God, He helped me turn it around!

I gave Him my sadness and concerns. I chose to praise the Lord with thankfulness instead. Then, slowly my heart grew glad as He reminded me that He will go with Lydia.

And, yes, He’s got this!

Psalm 145_13

Now I’m taking a *wild* guess here, but I bet you are facing some changes or challenges of your own. Maybe it’s a really good transition you have been praying about, like a new job or school. Or, perhaps there are heavy burdens on your heart—things you didn’t see coming. An unexpected circumstance popped up and you don’t know what to do. Maybe you have been dealing with the same difficulties for awhile with no relief in sight.

Don’t worry. God’s got this!

At the beginning of the school year, teachers often conduct a basic review to assess what  students have already learned. It can also be helpful for us to review all the trials God has brought us through. When we see our circumstances in the light of His goodness, we can see He has a plan. And, we can trust Him more going forward.

The Lord excels at turning trials into triumph!

(To be clear, I don’t look at how far I have brought myself, for that is not worth much.)

It’s the Lord who has carried me all these years. He is my Shepherd!

When I don’t know what to do, He is my Wonderful Counselor and Prince of Peace.

His Presence is always with me, and He will never leave me to fend for myself.

When I am afraid, He is Protector, my Shield, my Refuge, and my Defense.

He loves me with an everlasting love. (Which is A LOT!!)

I know God has good plans—filled with hope—for my future.

He always keeps His promises; He is faithful to complete every good work He starts.

Yes, it’s safe to say Lydia’s in good hands this year. Besides having wonderful, caring teachers, God’s got her covered. Of course He does…He loves her even more than I do!

And if you let Him, God will take good care of you too!

**********

Heavenly Father, thanks for all the ways You care for us. Help us make the most of these new opportunities. Help us grow in grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What changes or challenges are you facing? Do you believe God can handle it?

A Heart and Home Make-Over

This last month, I have been redecorating and reorganizing my house. It all started when I replaced my plain eight-year-old shower curtain with a more colorful one! Woohoo

😉

Before long, I noticed how much the shower curtain brightened the bathroom and my mood. I hadn’t planned on revamping my entire house, but soon that’s what happened!

new shower curtain

One day, my neighbor came over and helped me assemble a little side table I had bought. We discussed where to put it and came up with several options. Two hours flew by as our kids played and we rearranged my upstairs!

We moved two chairs in the living room, and noticed the (old) side table didn’t really “fit” in my new plan. So, I sold the entire matching set, including the coffee table from my basement. As I removed furniture no longer serving its purpose, I grew more excited.

I began to see my house differently, as I sensed God filling me with creativity.

Ultimately, I also sold with my dining room table with eight chairs—most were stored in closets around the house—and replaced it with a smaller set. I parted with my patio table and ten chairs—way too many for us—and received a bistro table and two chairs as a birthday gift.

My house looks so trim now!

table

Yes, this last month has been a refreshing experience for me! I have sold or given away many items, and returned things borrowed from friends.

Still, most of the changes have been ‘in-house.’

For example, I hung up pictures and wall décor, which instantly made my house more inviting. I moved tables, chairs and bookcases, opening up a ton of space.

I cleaned and reorganized my office and gained mental clarity as a result! I am so pleased to see the immediate changes in my environment. I’m amazed at how lighthearted I feel!

stairway

And then, to top it all off, I decided to re-stain my deck! It had been done two summers ago, but was looking worn. With the boost of energy I gained from my inside home makeover, I felt empowered to tackle the outside too.

Two years ago, Lydia was far too young to get much accomplished on my own. I often needed help with inside and outside house maintenance.

Even simple tasks felt like a chore when combined with grief and an active toddler.

Back then, six or seven men from church spent several hours one Saturday staining the deck, laying mulch, and organizing the garage. What a blessing that was! This time, however, I decided to attempt it on my own.

Earlier in the month, a friend helped pressure-washed the deck. Another friend gave me a few tips and walked me through the process. (I’m sure they would have helped more if I truly needed it.) But I was eager to finish it before cooler weather comes.

My goal was to have the deck completed by Labor Day, and I did it a week earlier than planned! I’m proud of myself for accomplishing a time-consuming task like this. What’s more, Lydia played all afternoon with the neighbors, helping me focus! (Many thanks!)

sitting area

My house definitely feels more like home now. Everywhere I look, I see something that makes me smile. What a difference a few updates can make!

Indeed, small changes can yield growth mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Of course, before we can move forward in life, we have to let go of what is in the past. It can be a lengthy process…and that’s okay.

I’m curious how this will set the stage for new memories as we step into the fall. I’m also interested what the impact will be as we move toward the holidays. Last year was more difficult emotionally than I thought it would be…

green picture

Yet regardless of what the coming seasons hold, I trust God’s wisdom in prompting me to make these updates. He knows exactly what I need in order to keep moving forward.  I’m grateful He provides creative inspiration and direction along with peace and joy.

He renews us day by day, and has good things in store. He’s watches over us, provides for us, and is always there to encourage us with His grace!

**********

Heavenly Father, You are so good to me! Thank You for the grace and resources to make changes long-overdue. Help me keep moving forward with courage. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Have you made any home improvements lately? How did it affect your outlook? Are there other life changes you can make?

Full Circle: A Gift from Around the World

Last Thursday, Lydia and I went to a memorial car-and-bike show! This is the fourth year Dave’s employer, Caterpillar, has held it in his name. Yet, this year seemed extra special.

Lydia looked forward to the car show all morning. “Is it time to go yet?” she kept asking. She dressed herself, and proudly wore her light pink CAT sweatshirt. “I’m ready!”

Lydia_2016 car show

Each year has been a little different, though I always come away in awe at how much love and effort is put into the show. This year was distinct because Lydia is now old enough to learn a little more about Dave and remember where he worked.

For the first couple of car shows, Dave’s 1965 Chevelle was present. With God’s help (and a cool story), I sold it last year. Lydia doesn’t (really) remember Dave, but I am so thankful she remembers his car!

As usual, we ate lunch at the car show, and saw a few familiar faces. We visited with Dave’s coworkers and caught up with old friends.

Then, we went on a tour of the facility. I have been on several CAT tours over the years, but this was the first time Lydia was able to follow along and ask questions.

Every so often, I would pause to clarify anything she was unsure about. I pointed out different projects Dave had worked on and equipment he helped set up. Dave loved working for Caterpillar and I am still so proud of all he accomplished there.

IMG_0787_smaller

We passed several pictures of employees being recognized for achievements. One section held three pictures—a memorial wall. Dave’s photo was first.

Lydia asked, “Why is my Daddy’s picture up there?”

I don’t always know how to answer her questions, so with tears in my eyes, all I could manage was, “Because they loved him so much.”

I was honored to see Dave’s picture, but in that moment I felt the deep loss. Not just for myself, but for Lydia…and all the potential one life can hold. We moved on, and I was thankful for the safety glasses (hopefully) hiding my mixed emotions.

Later, we met a man whom I vaguely recognized. Perhaps I met him on a previous tour, but he jumped up to say hello when we were introduced. He also greeted Lydia and answered a few questions about his machine before we left. Soon, we were on our way to another area.

Minutes later, we observed another machine at work. I noticed the man (from before) had followed us and was waiting patiently to talk with us. As we finished watching, he held out a small, brightly decorated drum.

Lydia_Drum from Singapore

“What’s this?” I asked.

“It’s a drum from Singapore,” he said. “One of the ladies there…hmmm… what’s her name?”

“Jennifer?” I suggested.

“Yes, that’s it!” He replied, with a curious look on his face. “Jennifer gave it to me.” His voice grew soft, “And lately, I have been looking for someone to give it to…”

He nodded toward Lydia, and gave me the drum. “I would like her to have it.” Astonished, I thanked the man for the drum and then told him about when I met Jennifer.

“Jennifer was part of the Singapore group that visited several years ago, to learn how to run their new CAT facility. Dave helped them with the set up.”

I went on, “When I was pregnant with Lydia, they came to see everything firsthand. Dave made hotel reservations, rented a mini-van, and drove them all around town!”

“I met Jennifer and her coworkers (most had English first names) at a team building event out in the country. The whole group excitedly took pictures of tractors, corn, and cows! Dave stopped along the way so they could document their trip. We had a lot of fun!”

Drum from Singapore

When Dave died, the Singapore employees sent condolences, cards, and a (monetary) collection. They said how much they enjoyed working with Dave and appreciated his help. I couldn’t believe their generosity and compassion…it was amazing.

Back then, I was touched to receive such kindness from so far away.

On Thursday, receiving the beautiful drum was certainly unexpected. But, for me, it was a poignant reminder of love sent around the world. It was just what I needed in that moment. Only God could bring it full circle all these years later!

Dave was always thinking of how to help others. The drum also serves as a memento of how even small, thoughtful acts can impact so many people.

Lydia does not understand all of this just yet, but to me, the whole day—tour and drum included—was a huge blessing. Now whenever I have a sad moment, I am going to look at that pretty drum and remember that God sees us and knows exactly what we need.

He cares about every aspect of each person’s life and provides encouragement when we need it most. Yes, God uses each little detail to piece together a beautiful story of grace!

Praise God!

**********

God, thanks for Your grace. Thank You for loving me so much. Help me turn to You in the difficult moments! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you had a ‘God moment’ lately? What did you learn?

Sharing Our Stories

Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement around the three year anniversary of Dave’s death! My mom and aunt visited for a few days to celebrate Dave and comfort me.

I kept their visit as a surprise from Lydia, but the joke was on me. My sister also came…to surprise ME! We had a wonderful visit: shopping, eating yummy food, and sharing stories.

I love how each of our lives interconnect. I’m thankful we encourage and support each other through the ups and downs of Life. I also love a good cup of coffee. 🙂

I don’t need anything fancy! I’ll drink coffee at home with milk, most days. Even better, I enjoy coffee with a friend, sharing stories and experiences, learning from each other.

coffee

What’s more, I love how each of us can impact those around us with the stories of our personal lives. Never underestimate the power or significance of your story.

Whether you enjoy coffee or not, don’t be afraid to share your story with those around you. Even total strangers can benefit!

The night before my visitors arrived, my mom had an interesting conversation with the cashier at a certain store. She was picking up some snacks and a little trinket for Lydia.

“Oh you must be going on a trip!” said the cashier, an older woman.

My mom mentioned the reason for her trip, and told the cashier a little of my story. The lady grew quiet, and said, “My daughter is a younger widow, too. She doesn’t have small children now, but she is having a difficult time.” (Her husband died in a sudden accident.)

My mom is compassionate and understanding in these types of moments. Through the course of their conversation, Mom shared about my blog, and that God has taken such good care of us. We are not angry with God, and keep moving forward.

This prompted the cashier to say, “I don’t really know how to get ahold of God.” So, Mom explained the basic gospel message to her. They chatted a little more. Then, the lady wrote a few things down, and squeezed my mom’s hand as she left.

2 Corinthians 1_3-4

Isn’t God good?! He meets us right where we are, and longs to comfort us. After all, our personal life stories are just a small part of the greater one He is writing.

We overcome by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus!) and the word of our testimony (see Revelation 12:11). As we share our stories, we are healed. But it doesn’t stop there. It is not all about us. Our redemptive stories also bring God glory and bless others. Knowing this makes my pain more bearable!

We have the ability to affirm and speak God’s truth to one another! Once we have worked through our own mess, we become His messengers to others. When infused with His grace and wisdom, our words bring His power to set people free.

Please note: I am not suggesting to “spill your guts” or share other people’s secrets (gossip). If you need help processing your pain, please consider professional input.

latte with heart

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20).

Did you catch that? What was meant for evil—to hurt or stop us—God is working for good. Our pain does not go wasted. God collects each and every tear we cry. If we let Him, God will redeem our experiences and help someone else grow closer to Him, too.

Yes, grief and other emotions are normal. But we cannot stay there. Instead of dwelling on the loss, the anger, the negativity… Take it to Jesus. His love never fails. Let Him walk you through to Victory, and then share what He has done in your life with others.

At the end of you life, the only thing that will matter is your relationship with Jesus Christ, followed by how you treated other people. We can’t take our stuff with us!

Ultimately, the coffee won’t matter, but our stories will.

So speak up. Tell your story. See God heal your heart and touch the lives of others. Our stories (and lessons learned) can change lives—even to the point of eternity.

Isn’t that worth it?

**********

God of all comfort, thank You for healing our hearts. Give us courage to share the deep parts of our lives with others. Give us wisdom and grace as we encourage and learn from each other. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: If you like coffee, how do you like it best? What part of your personal story (testimony) could be shared to encourage or comfort someone else?

 

Finding Grace #10

I love the concept of giving God a shout out for what He has done.

We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as “God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.” Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot. I find grace overflowing in God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

cherry-blossom

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

  • This week was all about relationships. I had multiple meaningful conversations each day of the week. Deep conversations are my most favorite way to connect with people, so I was thrilled! I talked with neighbors, fellow writers, church friends, moms, widows, and old college friends, among others. We made changes on projects, made new plans, discussed difficult phases of life, and just caught up on other things. With the plethora of people I talked with, I felt the Lord was reminding me that I am not alone. And, I impact other people’s lives, too. We’re all in this together!
  •  I have been praying about and reflecting on the third year mark of my late husband’s death, as mentioned in my last two Wednesday posts (here and here). I’ve noticed each time I read my Bible, I come across at least one scripture verse that says God is our refuge, shelter, strength, and shield. Isn’t that cool?! Actually, I just realized this pattern a day or so ago, but it has been going on for the last few weeks.
  • It seems as that anniversary of Dave’s death grows closer, the magnitude of God’s grace and love has increased. It’s as if He is pulling out all the stops to encourage me! Not only has the Lord surrounded me with an increase of amazing people all around, but He also has reminded me that He is My Refuge, My Protector, and My Defense.

“But I will sing of your strength,
    in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
    my refuge in times of trouble.

You are my strength, I sing praise to you;
    you, God, are my fortress,
    my God on whom I can rely.”

Psalm 59:16-17

  •  I love all the flowering trees in Spring. I wish they could last all year, they’re so pretty! To think that each type of blossom or tree reflects only a small part of who God is (not to mention the diversity in everyone and everything else)… What beauty and creativity! God you are so good to us!

*******

These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did YOU see or experience God’s grace this week?

It Is Well

In a few days, it will be three years since my late husband died of colon cancer. As such, I’ve been reflecting on our journey these last few years. Lydia and I think and talk about Dave often. And, I consider all the ways God helped us and came through for us.

I’ve also been thinking about how we honored Dave’s life at his funeral. Dave had no preferences, leaving the details up to me. My mom helped me choose the flowers, and I asked my dad to speak during the service. I picked out the songs.

Dave obit pic

I chose “Give Me Jesus,” because at the end of his life, Dave was still sure of his faith. Shortly before he died, when asked if there was anything he needed, Dave’s response was: I just want Jesus.

The other two songs were classic hymns: “Victory in Jesus” and a personal favorite, “It Is Well with My Soul.” They felt like anthems proclaiming God’s goodness and faithfulness.

Somehow, in the midst of my grief, I looked past my pain to believe God still had a good plan for me and Lydia…though I could not see or understand what that was.

These songs inspire me to praise and trust God…when things go well and when they don’t. First day. Last day. Best day. Worst day. He is constant. Just…give…me…Jesus.

Psalm 28_7

Lately, I’ve been singing a newer version of “It Is Well,” a powerful song from Bethel Music. Lydia was too little three years ago to know we sang the original (classic) version at her Daddy’s funeral. Nonetheless, it has been moving to hear her belt out some of the lyrics!

I am simply amazed at how far God has brought us. He is still with us, showing us the path ahead. He has never left me alone to fend for myself. God has held me close, a strong and steady anchor in the storms of life. I’m so thankful for His help!

That first year without Dave was a struggle, though each year has had its own challenges. At one point, I wrote down a set of personal statements, which felt like drawing a line in the sand.

I posted little notes all over the house, and declared them out loud, often several times a day. They helped me refocus on the Lord in my deepest grief. I still review them often!

It is well

Today, I am sharing them with you. I hope they help you, too, in your tough moments. God’s promises fill us with hope. Therefore, I linked a few Bible verses after each sentence if you would like to read and ponder them.

I trust You, Jesus.

Psalm 28:7, Proverbs 3:5, Isaiah 26:4, Nahum 1:7

Lord, I need You.

Psalm 9:18, Psalm 40:17, Psalm 72:12

I will wait for You.

Psalm 27:14, Psalm 33:20, Micah 7:7

You’ve never failed before!

Exodus 14:14, Joshua 21:45, Luke 1:37

I receive Your peace and provision.

Numbers 6:24-26Job 10:12, Psalm 29:11, Isaiah 26:3

stormy sea

Do you feel defeated today? Perhaps life looks anything but well. I’ve been there. Yet, as my dad so poignantly said at his beloved son-in-law’s funeral:

You don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.”

You may be experiencing peace and quiet today, or tossing to and fro. Either way, take it to Jesus. Cling to Him in both the calm and the chaos. He is the King!

As you trust in God’s love for you, stand firm on His promises. He will bring You through with Victory. And, I pray that you, too, will soon be able to say: “It is well with me.”

**********

God, thank You for your loyal and unwavering love. You are so good. As we speak Your truth over our circumstances, may we rest in Your grace and peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When facing life’s uncertainties, do you turn to God first…or last? How can I pray for you today?

Because He Is Good

With the flip of the calendar, here we are in May! I love spring in general, but it is a little bittersweet as we near the third year mark of my late husband’s death. Over the last couple weeks, I have been praying about this upcoming anniversary.

Once again, the Lord has come through for me in ways only He can. I had coffee with a friend who reaffirmed me on a day I was feeling down. I also ran into several friends at church, and each time, God used them to lift me up with encouragement. In all these instances, I didn’t mention I was sad. But it was reassuring to see how God met my need. He is so good to me!

1361914238347

Dave was thirty-four when he died, which is far too young. He was diagnosed after an emergency surgery in May 2012. He died 364 days later. It was a wild and chaotic year, but God was ever-faithful.

This spring, I am a little sad, yes.

But mostly, I am still so proud of Dave after all these years. I admire how he handled his cancer with grace and courage. I’m grateful he did not give up.

Some people may think that God let me down because Dave died. Yet, I do not feel that way. In fact, I saw God do so much more than we could ever dream. He answered big, audacious prayers and small, silent ones. It was an awful situation, no doubt. But, God was so kind and generous.

Already Stage IV, Dave’s prognosis wasn’t great at the start, but God gave us those 364 days anyway. Some people get longer, but we relished every moment we had together. I’m thankful Dave didn’t have to suffer any longer than that because it got to be pretty intense those final weeks…

Psalm 46_1

What’s more, I’m so grateful for all God taught us that year. Dave had a servant’s heart like no other, but realized he couldn’t out-give God. He learned to rest in Jesus’ sacrifice because we can’t earn God’s grace.

For me, perhaps the lessons felt much more dramatic. Emotional roller coaster is an understatement. Our cancer journey brought out some of my worst traits. And trust me, I could be a bear at times! But, God’s grace and mercy were more than enough even then.

God provided wonderful friends who helped us, often with little advanced notice. He provided extra comfort for the worst days and gave us many joys along the way. As Dave himself said, it was a “phenomenal year.”

God used these extreme circumstances to prove that He is bigger than my fears. Every. Single. One. That alone was one of the biggest breakthroughs in my life.

He set me free indeed! What grace!

Can you believe these last three years have been some of the most fruitful years of my life? It’s not been easy, though God is redeeming my pain. He has rebuilt my life from the ashes. And because He is good, I am still standing!1 Corinthians 15_57I don’t know what you are dealing with today. Maybe everything is peachy keen. But, likely it’s not. If you are struggling with something, take it to Jesus. Let Him be your refuge and strength, your righteousness and your defense—He understands exactly what you need.

You simply cannot figure out every detail and outcome of your life. Believe me, I know! But if you place your trust in Jesus alone, He will lead you through it all. Let Him be your peace. He will bring you to Victory!

God loves you and is for you! Yes, life is hard. It doesn’t always turn out like we want. But God can handle everything that concerns you. And ultimately, if your hope is in Him, you will not be disappointed!

I know that full well.

**********

God, great is Your faithfulness! Thank You for being a trustworthy refuge. When we are afraid, may we place our hope in You. We overcome and have Victory, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How has God come through for you lately? How can I pray for you?

Rejoice! God Is with Us!

I previously mentioned this holiday season took me by surprise with the amount of grief I have experienced. I didn’t expect to sail through the holidays, of course. But it’s been more intense and has lasted longer than I expected.

Really, it has been a few months—from Halloween, Lydia’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Dave’s birthday last week, Christmas, to our wedding anniversary coming up in early January. However, God has been faithfully reminding me of His love.

With each year that goes by, Lydia is older, understands more, and asks more questions— especially about Dave and God. In fact, she is talking about Dave nearly every day now.

I’ve heard it is generally wise to explain things to a child at his or her level of understanding. Two years ago, for our first holiday season without Dave, Lydia adored babies. They were her point of reference for everything in her little world. Lydia was very interested in Baby Jesus which helped guide our Christmas conversation.

As she asks me more specific questions about Dave, I point her to Jesus. If Lydia knows who Jesus is and that He is GOOD, she’ll understand that Dave/Daddy is safe with Jesus.

It helps me to reflect on that too.

manger

In explaining the Christmas story to Lydia, I’ve been able to see it through a fresh lens. It is so simple. The word “gospel” means good news… and I can’t think of ANY better news than this! “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:16-17).

While Christmas is still difficult for us without Dave, we celebrate Jesus! Isaiah 9:6 says, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Praise the King of Kings!!

O come, O come Emmanuel!
(third verse)

“O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer,
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.”

Jesus makes all the difference.

Knowing Jesus means that someday I will see Dave and other loved ones again. Because of Jesus, Lydia will get to meet her Daddy again. He gives us Victory over the grave…and grief.

Over these last few years, God challenged and conquered all my fears. I don’t have to be afraid because He is with me. In Christ I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28). With Him, I don’t have to do Life alone. I can have His love, joy, and peace today!

Whatever you are dealing with, take heart. With Jesus, there is HOPE. He brings good news to the poor, comforts the brokenhearted, and sets the captives free. He gives us favor with God (see Isaiah 61:1-3). He offers new life and purpose. Jesus changes everything.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

**********

Thank You, God, for loving us so much. Thanks for Your grace and favor. Help us walk in the freedom You have given us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen