2018 Annual Review

Happy Boxing Day!! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. šŸ˜‰

Lydia and I had our best Christmas yet! We really appreciated receiving some invitations to join others, but we ended up doing our own thing instead.

On Christmas Eve, we hosted another family from church. We enjoyed celebrating Jesus with them! We ate yummy food and had great conversation.

On Christmas Day, we enjoyed a relaxing breakfast and then opened presents. Lydia received several fun gifts, including some clothes, books, games, and science kits.

After that, we talked with some friends and family. We thought about going to the movies, but decided to go sledding instead. We had so much fun and even saw another family enjoying the chilly day. It was perfect.

Later, Lydia played with some of her new toys while I exercised. Then, we put together some bath goodies from one of the science kits. She’s never been so excited to take a bath! šŸ˜‰

Finally, after a relaxing day, we watched a Christmas movie together. We have the rest of the week off as well, so I’m sure we will do some more fun activities!

This year flew by. Thankfully, it had more ups than downs. We saw God’s grace all around us in more ways than we can count. He is so faithful.

Lydia and I took some fun trips and spent time with loved ones. We stepped foot in at least 6 states. I’m grateful for my car and God’s protection and provision!

This year, we both pushed our limits and tried new things. Everything from recipes to outdoor Christmas lights. One highlight is that we went kayaking and Lydia loved it!

Lydia has done well in school and enjoys learning. My job is stable and I feel like I am making a difference. I’m so grateful for God’s blessings!

This year, I have felt humbled in many ways. I have become more aware of my flaws and all that I still need to learn. (Yes, I’m human!) šŸ˜‰

I usually set a lot of goals, but didn’t meet most of them this year. I met my most important goals, but still left a lot on the table. In order to prioritize a big project, I kind of slacked off elsewhere! I made progress, but I also have a lot to finish or catch up!

Still, I have learned to accept God’s grace for my perceived failures and trust Him to lead me. I’m grateful I don’t have to be perfect. Jesus is My Righteousness!

I’ll probably set similar goals this year (haha, I can’t help it!). But I have learned to give myself grace and be more present day-to-day.

This year, I have challenged several fears head-onĀ and moved forward anyway. Despite not meeting all of my goals, I have still grown as a person, and am happy with who I am becoming! šŸ™‚

Thankfully, God’s mercies are new every day. I just have to stay focused on Jesus and walk with Him. Everything else will work out in due time!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for walking with us each and every day. Thanks for all the grace You’ve shown us this year. Redirect my path and help me stay focused as You make me more like Jesus. In His Name, Amen

Questions: What were the highlights of your year? What did you learn and how did you grow? What will you change going forward?

Tasks: Consider setting SMART goals for the new year. Don’t worry if it feels like ā€˜too much’ for you to accomplish. Trust Jesus to direct your path!

Fresh Eyes

It’s amazing at how much fear can cloud your vision…

Last Friday, I opted to have Lasik eye surgery to correct my double astigmatism. I’m so glad I did! I’m in awe at how my eyes are already working better in such short time.

I had thought about Lasik for a long time but never looked into it due to fear. There are risks with any surgery, but I didn’t want to risk my vision for an elective procedure!

About a year ago, some friends encouraged me to look into it. It took me forever to make an appointment, but thankfully, I was a candidate after all. I asked many questions and received solid answers at the free consultation.

To my surprise and great relief, I learned that blindness is associated with the retina and/or optic nerve in the back of the eye. Lasik affects only the outermost layer of the cornea (in the front). So the risks of this surgery are mostly related to possible infection (rare if you follow their guidelines).

For me, the long-term benefits and no hassle outweighed the short-term costs. I see it as an investment… My contacts were expensive, not to mention the costs of appointments and supplies. I’ll still need to see my eye doctor every year, but that’s normal!

An extra dose of courage combined with a little education brought me clarity. With prayer, I felt at peace and I decided to move forward.

I was both nervous and excited for the surgery. The actual procedure was a little freaky, but also really interesting! šŸ™‚ They numbed my eyes and there was no pain, but I was still awake. I’m glad I challenged my fear and followed through.

I’m grateful God helped keep me calm because I had to stay still! I distracted myself during the surgery by reminding myself of His goodness and faithfulness. As I decided to ā€œjust go with it,ā€ He took away all my fear.


Over the years, I’ve learned to trust Jesus more and more—though not because it’s been a smooth or clear path. Indeed, Life has not been easy, but the Lord has walked with me each step. I have seen His love and provision for me in big and small ways.

Because Jesus helped me through some of the worst years of my life (cancer and grief), I have grown past fear and have gained a new perspective. He set me free from fear, steadying me when I felt lost and couldn’t find my way forward.

Grief had to run its course, but in time, the Lord also gave me renewed purpose and vision.

Whatever you are facing in this season, I pray you’ll see your situation with fresh eyes. Jesus came to save us all, and He will make it right. Trust Him!

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Father God, thanks for keeping me safe and renewing my vision. Thanks for helping me conquer my fears. Help me continue to walk in Victory! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Is there something you’re afraid of currently? How can you trust God to move past it?

Tasks: Pray about any steps of faith you have been putting off. Then, choose to take the first step in defeating your fear!

Finding Grace #145

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a really exciting week. To start, everything was fairly normal, though I worked an extra day to get ahead for the holidays. Lydia has some time off around Christmas, so I will want to spend time with her.

Now for one exciting part: I got Lasik eye surgery yesterday! Of course, I have to rest and be somewhat cautious in the days ahead but this is really good for me. My double astigmatism is now corrected. My ā€˜toric’ contact lenses were pricey and my glasses were 10+ years old. Indeed, the costs do add up when considering time factors, eye doctor appointments, and the cost of supplies. I’m glad I didn’t let fear get in the way!

One big help, and another exciting part of this week, is that my mother-in-law came to visit! She treated us with tickets to the Nutcracker ballet today (a local production of the show). Thankfully, it was dark and my eyes adjusted well to the stage lights. But, the timing also worked well for her to take me to my surgery appointment and follow-ups, and she is able to help keep Lydia occupied while I rest my eyes (literally!).

Finally, Lydia also had a big week.Ā She went to the orthodontist and received an expander for her teeth! In the future, she will need braces. I’d appreciate prayers for the next few weeks as she adjusts and I help her with the expander. I never had braces or anything similar, so this is all new for both of us. Many thanks!

Well, I’m going to keep this short as I don’t want to strain my vision. It was advised to limit or avoid time online, on my phone, watching television, etc. In fact, I wrote most of this post ahead of time (before my surgery) so I could just make minor revisions today. Praise God for awesome technology!

I’m grateful for how God always directs our path and blesses us. He is so good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Win-Win!!

Sometimes, Life lessons are set into motion long before we need them…

Last year, my mom bought Lydia a pretty new winter coat. The pattern has navy blue and peach hearts with a pair of peach-colored snow pants. Lydia liked it last year, but it was too big.

She continued to wear her old winter coat until this week when we realized she had grown out of it and made the swap. Lydia’s new coat is still slightly big, but it will work well for her. I’m grateful my mom found a deal!

The old blue coat has a huge hole in one pocket and a couple holes elsewhere. The sleeves are also too short and have seen better days. Instead of giving the old coat away, I decided to toss it.

Then, to my surprise, Lydia was absurdly thrilled about getting rid of the coat! She started talking about how bad the old coat had become, how she didn’t even like it anymore, and how she was happy to be ā€œdoneā€ with it.

This struck me because I knew how much she loved the coat originally. It was a huge blessing when she received it. So naturally, I turned it into a teaching moment. šŸ™‚

I said, ā€œLydia, don’t forget that old coat served you well. I bought it for you and it kept you warm for two winters! It was a gift you really needed. Don’t you ever hold an old blessing in contempt because you got a new oneā€¦ā€

I didn’t want Lydia to take it for granted or to miss the point. So, I grabbed the coat out of the garbage and decided Lydia could use it for her outdoor play coat. Thankfully, she agreed with me because she plays outside regularly and this will also preserve the new coat. Win-win!

Winter coats are just one example, but I wonder how many times I do the same thing.

It’s certainly good to look forward to upcoming opportunities. In Life, growth is vital, and we will inevitably grow out of some things and into others. At the same time, it seems careless to ditch the old so we can grab the new. We need to find balance.

The difference is gratitude.

When God blesses me with something new, wonderful! Chances are good I will be expecting it based on how He has already prepared me. What a gift!

But, if I am discontent and just searching for what is new, bright or shiny, I risk leaving behind all the lessons I learned… On my own, I will miss the point.

Let’s not despise what God has already done for us. His blessings—both old and new—are just as abundant as His grace. Let’s be grateful for how God has lead us thus far and trust Him as we move forward! Another win-win!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for all the blessings You give us! Thank You for Jesus, the best gift ever. Help us find balance as we grow. Keep us focused on what is most important: You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: When anticipating something new, do you find yourself patient or impatient?

Task: In this holiday season of giving and getting, make sure to put Jesus first… the rest will work out as we trust in Him!

Keep It Simple, Sweetheart

This Christmas season, like many people, I am trying to stay on top of my to-do list. At times, it is a little overwhelming, and yes, I could use more sleep! šŸ™‚

But all things considered, this year feels different.

Instead of my heart feeling heavy with grief, I’m excited and coping well. Praise God!

Perhaps all those years of intense grief have been helpful after all because I have learned the art of doing less.

This year, I’ve been doing more of what makes me glad. With so many possibilities, I’ve decided to simplify.

When possible, I’ve opted out of stressful activities that don’t add to the holiday spirit. At the same time, I’ve tried new things, such as putting up outdoor Christmas lights!

Lydia and I have been enjoying Christmas music and holiday movies, decorating our tree, and sampling yummy treats! She has played in the mounds of snow with her friends, while I’ve enjoyed coffee dates with mine.

I’ve also opened my house to a handful of people who don’t have family nearby.

We have a list of fun winter activities that we would like to do, such as sledding and seeing holiday lights. As usual, Lydia’s excitement is contagious!

Thankfully, I’ve learned to appreciate rest and don’t have crazy expectations. I know my limitations and try not to overextend myself. I’m grateful for how far God has brought me and Lydia!

With all the hustle and bustle, it could be easy to forget Jesus, the reason we are celebrating in the first place! By staying present with Him, I can enjoy the true gift He is:

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace

Friend, if you are going through a tough season of grief, let me remind you of the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart. šŸ™‚ There is no need to ā€œfake brave.ā€

Grief looks different for all of us, and each year brings unique challenges. It does improve eventually, but all those emotions need to run their course so you can keep moving forward.

For now, do what you need to do—no more and no less. Whether that means showing up or staying home, ask God to direct your path and show you His goodness.

Look for the gift of God’s grace…. Jesus!! He is a wonderful savior and friend.

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Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus. What a precious gift! Be with those who are hurting this season. Show them just how much you love them and bring them peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What are your favorite Christmas traditions?

Tasks: Do something special for someone who needs encouragement this season. Pray with them, invite them over for dinner, help them decorate (or clean!), or listen to them talk of their loved one. Even a small act of kindness can mean so much to someone who is hurting.

Finding Grace #143

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was quite eventful. We started off in Florida, flew home with no travel delays (thank you, Lord!), and ended with work, school, and friends. We had a great time on vacation, but it’s also good to be home. God and our neighbors graciously watched over our house while we were gone… and I’m glad they didn’t have to shovel my driveway! šŸ™‚

On Wednesday, I was able to stay home and get ahead for the remainder of the week. It snowed a little, and I enjoyed spending time with God over coffee. I also appreciated the quiet space to reflect on our trip and plan ahead. Later that evening, we went to church for our JBQ practice. It was fun to see the kids after the holiday!

On Thursday and Friday, I went back to work. I appreciate having a flexible schedule! I also enjoyed talking with a coworker on the phone whom I haven’t seen since I switched offices earlier this year. I’m looking forward to catching up with her in person soon!

Today has been fairly relaxing. Our neighbor boys came over to play for a couple hours, and so we had fun with them. Then, I did some routine Saturday chores, paid some bills, and opened some mail. Lydia received a belated birthday package, so she happily opened that while we FaceTimed with family. We might finish the evening with a movie!

The picture above shows ā€˜the Star from Afar,’ our advent countdown. I hide the Star, then Lydia finds it each morning. We read a simple version of the nativity story. Each day, there is a new Bible verse to go with that part of the story. Lydia loves it and has even hid the star for me when I have forgotten. šŸ˜‰ I’d recommend it! (no affiliate links)

God is good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #141

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

I feel like a broken record when I say this week had a lot going on. It seems the last couple of months have been busier than usual. And, in a society that uses ā€˜busy’ as a badge, I prefer a slower pace! I’m so grateful for God’s grace as we navigate life!

Once again, I worked an extra day this week, to get ahead for the holidays. One patient yelled at me in frustration about his meal plan and changes he needs to make for his health. I understood his perspective and was able to talk with him about it. I’ve been yelled at a few times in 12+ years of being a dietitian, and I am grateful it doesn’t happen often! šŸ™‚

On, Thursday we had more snow after lunch. It was beautiful, but after I slid around a curve with AWD, I felt prompted me to cancel evening plans with friends. It was a mutual decision. Lydia and I borrowed ā€œThe Incrediblesā€ from friends and had a movie night!

Friday morning was spent with a 2-hour phone meeting, which went an hour longer than expected. That meant that I unintentionally ā€˜stood up’ a newer friend for coffee. I was in communication with her (texting) but there wasn’t much I could do about it. Thankfully, she graciously accepted my apology and we rescheduled for another time.Ā 

Today was the first JBQ ā€˜quiz meet’ of the year. Lydia had fun with her team!Ā 

Where did you find God’s grace?

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

A Caution on Countdowns

This has been an interesting autumn so far! First, we had snow on October 10th which melted away. Then, we had flurries a few days last week, followed by drifting from the wind. I’ve had to shovel snow several times already. It could be a long season…

In Fargo, the potential for snow lasts from October until early May some years. Even if the calendar says spring, it can feel like winter! It’s important to manage expectations, ha!

Honestly, shoveling snow makes my shoulders ache. I do use my snowblower when necessary, but sometimes shoveling is the best option. Let’s just say that for me, snow removal is still a good opportunity for ā€œcharacter refinement.ā€

As such, I choose to reframe the situation from time-to-time… On those early, blustery mornings, I remind myself to be grateful. For instance, I am thankful for the tools and warm clothes I have acquired over the years to make the process easier. I’m also grateful for my physical health and the ability to take care of all God has given me.

I am thankful for yoga and shoulder stretches which help to somewhat ease the pain. And, I am really grateful for a reliable vehicle with all-wheel-drive to help me get around.

To my surprise, on social media, I’ve already seen a few people counting down the days until spring! But it’s not even Thanksgiving yet!

Apparently, there are around 126 days until March 20th of 2019 (the first day of spring). Perhaps I am the only person to feel this way, but I don’t appreciate these types of countdowns… they tend to mess with my attitude, if I let them.

Don’t get me wrong—I respect that some people love the heat and hate the cold. I get it… To each their own! Even in our differences, I hope we can still be friends! šŸ™‚

In my case, I like spring and summer, but I also enjoy autumn and winter. For me, it is important to celebrate—instead of complain about—each season as God brings it.

(PLEASE remind me of this in late February when my shoulders have had it! Deal?!)

My feeling is that if we were to skip ahead to our ā€˜favorite seasons,’ we would miss so much. Sure, the grass is always greener in someone else’s yard, but for me the solution is not to countdown to spring. Wishful thinking won’t make winter pass any faster. And, I don’t want discontent to sidetrack me from what God is doing in my own yard or life.

Before we go much further, let me fully disclose that I have already been watching Christmas movies on Netflix! LOL, to each their own, right?

Getting into the ā€˜holiday spirit’ is full of meaning for me this year, because while this is our 6th holiday season without Dave, it is the first one where I don’t have mixed emotions.

Truthfully, for several years after Dave died, I dreaded the holidays. I really did want to skip the entire season. The holidays were just too painful.

But, I am so glad I didn’t rush through the pain. From a grief perspective, I needed to go through each stage of processing my emotions. I couldn’t ā€˜skip it’ and still be healthy…

Through each difficult and unpleasant season of life and grief, I have understood a new level of God’s grace and faithfulness. He has brought me through it all with His love and strength! I’m eternally grateful for His kindness to me!

There is a big difference between anticipation and apprehension. One fills me with eagerness and the other expects the worst. One fills me with hope and joy and the other fills me with a sense of dread. It has to do with attitude…

To clarify, not all countdowns are bad. Planning is important, and if a countdown truly brings you joy, great! Technically, a timer on an oven is a type of countdown that may bring you joy… yum!

Rocket ships need a countdown before launching into space. Also, parents of young children may benefit from counting down the minutes before bed time.

In my house… Lydia has been counting down her birthday for several weeks. She hasn’t counted the days, but she does cross the days off her calendar each night. She is SO excited!

My point is to consider the reason for the countdown and your attitude. The takeaway is this: Does it fill you with a sense of God’s grace or a sense of grrr?? šŸ˜‰

Don’t take for granted what God has given you: time with loved ones, peace in the moment, His presence. His grace is sufficient for this day, so let’s be grateful!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for being so generous and gracious. Don’t let me get ahead of you or be ungrateful. Help me rely on You each day. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: If you are always racing to the next moment or event, what might you be missing? What other countdowns do you find helpful?

Tasks: Looking ahead can be either helpful or harmful. Consider whether it brings you anticipation or apprehension. Then, readjust. Go with God!

Finding Grace #140

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was full of non-stop activity, but God’s grace was all around me! It was a fruitful and productive week! He directed every step. Even when I wasn’t sure I could accomplish everything, He helped me do it.

Over the weekend, we turned our clocks back as Daylight Saving Time ended. I planned on getting an extra hour of sleep, but instead, I just stayed up a little longer. šŸ˜‰ I put that time to good use, though. For the first time ever, I put up outside Christmas lights around my garage door! It was fun and worked out better than I planned. Through a series of events, God also provided extra lights to perfectly cover my entryway!

I worked an extra day this week, to get ahead for the holidays. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were each spent with work, then an afternoon phone call (to various people), followed by an evening activity. Each day was quite busy, but I felt God using me to bless others. I even got to talk to a friend in Oklahoma, which made my day!

Thursday was also full, but really good. I bought groceries before running to an appointment. Then, there was some overlap which made me late for a meeting. Next, I went home to pick up Lydia from the bus. Right after school, our neighbors came over to visit and stayed for dinner. Then, Lydia went to bed and friends came over for Bible study.

On Friday, I had another appointment and ran another errand. It’s that time of year when I try to stock up before winter so I don’t have to go out as much! šŸ™‚ Then, I learned a meeting with my writing coach needed to be rescheduled. So, I used that time to watch a webinar and chat with a friend online. The one hour webinar probably took me two because I kept stopping it in order to text my friend! LOL, both were well worth my attention and I needed to focus!

Last night, a dear friend came over for dinner. We had tacos and she brought dessert, which ended up being delicious cupcakes for Lydia’s birthday in a couple weeks. It was so fun to catch up because we hadn’t seen each other for about month.

The weather has been unusually cold and snowy for this time of year. (Though, really, in Fargo anything is possible!) Today, Lydia and I watched ā€˜How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ and will hopefully see our friend for another round of tacos! Otherwise, it’s been a relaxing day! God is so good to give us a restful day after a jam-packed week!

Where did you find God’s grace?

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Always Faithful

Election day… love it or hate it, it’s a right and a privilege to vote! Yesterday, after school, I took Lydia to vote with me. It was a fun and important opportunity.

Before we went to vote, I explained to Lydia that we should be quiet and not tell others how to vote. It’s their choice. We also discussed the importance of being an informed voter.

To my surprise, the election official suggested that Lydia could help me fill in the circles after I told her my choices. My 1st grader thought that was really cool.

Ā I’m amazed at how much kids pick up and hear on the news or in discussions. At one point, I told her to mark the paper for a candidate, and she said, ā€œBut Mom, that video (campaign ad) said that XX is not a good choice for us.ā€

Ā I try to screen the news and social media, but can’t filter everything! I wasn’t thrilled about the other candidate either and used it as a teachable moment. Whispering, I explained about marketing and campaigning, and that there are two sides to every story.

Sadly, it does feel like we often have to choose between two or more mediocre options… yet regardless of who won this election, we will adjust. We always do! There is a lot of back-and-forth in politics. That’s part of the checks-and-balance system. It is to be expected that one side’s ā€˜victory’ rallies the other side…and then it starts over.

So, I did what I felt was best. I prayed. I voted. And, I will continue trusting God.

(Later, I watched the Election coverage on the news and the candidate ā€œweā€ voted for won. I heard some of the acceptance speech and was grateful to hear what was said!)

One really exciting part of yesterday was hearing several reports of people voting for the first time. Some people had recently turned 18-years-old, and some had become naturalized citizens since the last election! Many of my friends took their kids, too.

Ā Voting is just one way to make our choices known. In fact, we make thousands of choices every day. We decide what to eat; what to wear; who we hang out with; when to sleep; whether or not to attend a meeting; what to watch on TV; and when to pay our bills.

Ā Some of our decisions have a big impact. For example, our words carry the power of life or death. Sometimes we pick the safe choice, and other times we risk it all. Sometimes, like on Election Day, we can second-guess ourselves!

No matter who we vote for or follow, people always have the potential to let us down.Ā  If we put our hope in men and women, we will be disappointed. But, Jesus is always faithful. He always does what is best for us! He will never let us down!

Choosing to follow Jesus Christ is by far the best decision we will ever make. We never have to guess if He loves us! He gave everything for us…The Cross has the final word.

We also have the daily choice to spend time with God. This decision is a no-brainer! It is a right and a privilege to meet with the Maker of Heaven and Earth! He strengthens us, encourages us, and heals our hearts. He stands with us and gives us peace.

On the contrary, NOT choosing Jesus sets us up for disaster. Choose wisely!

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God, You reign! Thanks for giving us Your Son, Jesus. You make all things possible. Help me use my voice wisely and speak life to those around me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you like to follow the news on Election night to see who won? Or do you prefer to check the results the following morning?

Tasks: Pray each morning that God would give you the wisdom to make good choices. Then, trust Him to help you!