This week I finished a book that has been in my queue for quite some time. The book, When Breath Becomes Air, was published in 2016, but in all honesty, I wasn’t ready for it back then.
Several friends recommended the book, but I didn’t know if I could handle the intensity at the time. I didn’t want to get sucked into another cycle of grief!
Now, however, I am in a much different place. I decided to listen to the audio version, but I do have a copy of the physical book as well. I highly recommend this book!
The book was written by Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon diagnosed with lung cancer in 2013 at the age of 36. He died in March 2015 just before his 38th birthday, and this book tracks his journey from physician to patient.
The story is quite compelling on its own, but even more so because of our own experience with cancer. I was struck by the similarities between this story and ours.
Mr. Kalanithi was on the verge of reaching his career goals—yet was sidetracked with sickness. Like my late husband, Dave, he did his best at work—regardless of how he felt physically. Both men loved their jobs!
The book also discusses how terminal illness can make a marriage and other relationships stronger. That happened to us too. Mr. Kalanithi sought to secure a good future for his wife, Lucy, and infant daughter, who was born while he was sick. He was always thinking about them.
As his death grew nearer, time seemed to slow down for the author. All of his accolades and accomplishments did not matter. He just wanted to soak up time with his wife, little daughter, and other loved ones.
Mr. Kalanithi was particularly close to his family, and I appreciated the fact that they were so supportive. I, too, am grateful for all the support we have received from family and friends!
For much of the book, it was as if I was hearing Dave tell his side of the story. I found it comforting to perhaps understand a little more about how Dave might’ve felt.
The book was different enough from my experiences that I didn’t have a hard time listening. Yet, the last few chapters were quite compelling because the author’s thoughts, feelings, and physical limitations paralleled what I went through with Dave.
Despite the heartbreak, it was reassuring to hear the same types of questions we dealt with regarding chemo, palliative care, and end of life decisions.
I was encouraged to hear Mr. Kalanithi talk about his faith and hope. He knew the risks and statistics about lung cancer but was never hopeless. He wanted to live his life to the fullest and sought purpose and meaning each day.
Both Mr. Kalanithi and Dave were in their mid-thirties when they were diagnosed and died. Mr. Kalanithi had lung cancer and Dave had colon cancer, but both are not as common in younger people. (Though, that may be changing now.)
Both men had young daughters too little to remember their fathers. Cady Kalanthi was 8 months old when her daddy died; Lydia was 17 months old when Dave died. I’m thankful for the legacies these men left behind.
Neither the author nor my late husband spent much time feeling sorry for themselves. They didn’t complain, but were brave and set an example for others!
If you haven’t already read this book, please consider it! It was helpful to remember that my story is not all that unique. Instead of focusing on all I have lost, I can cherish what I do have: Lydia and precious memories.
Praise God, I also have hope and a good future ahead of me (Jeremiah 29:11)! Yes, Life has turned out differently than expected, but Jesus has been so faithful all these years.
He is so good to us!
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Dear God, thanks for taking such good care of me. Thanks for Your protection and provision through life’s ups and downs. Thank You for your grace! I trust You for a good future. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Have you read any good books lately? Do prefer physical books or audiobooks or ebooks?
Tasks: Check out this book! Let me know what you think!
