The Battle Belongs to the Lord

The last two days, work has been a little hectic. Not bad, just busy.

I already had a full schedule without much time in between patients. And then, I had some unexpected phone calls to return. Phone calls are normal, but these were a little more involved and time-consuming.

I ‘inherited’ a complex patient with many medical problems. I was assigned to take over after they made unfounded complaints about a very qualified coworker. Simply put, the patient’s family did not get the answers they wanted, and sadly, his prognosis is difficult to accept.

This patient requires a feeding tube, but it’s unusual due to how the tube was placed and medical complications (not related to his VA care). To start, the patient has cancer and is undergoing multiple treatments. But the bad news just keeps piling up.

In many ways,  it reminds me of Dave’s own cancer battle… and my emotional reactions. Unfortunately, this patient has even more medical issues, if you can imagine that.

Free Doctor Doctor'S Office photo and picture

So, while I am empathetic towards the patient, he has a lot of needs. I have years of experience to draw upon, but each situation is different. I have fought to get them what they need, but more than once, the family has put me on the spot. While I encourage advocacy for loved ones, I consistently do my best to provide the highest level of care.

In the past, with other patients, I occasionally have been yelled at when trying to get to the bottom of certain challenges. For instance, I won’t order something if it puts the patient at more risk. I wait until I have adequate justification, but patients sometimes argue and make their own decisions anyway (which is their right). While it doesn’t happen often, this week, I felt circumstances were going in that direction.

Even though the patient’s family had been friendly on the phone, they went to other sources to try and get what I wasn’t quite ready to provide. I was still gathering information and needed them to work with me, not against me. Nonetheless, it made me feel like they thought I wasn’t doing my job.

And reflecting on my own journey, I remembered my fight is not against other people (Ephesians 6:12). Still, I dreaded calling the patient again. 

Then yesterday morning, I was in my car getting ready to walk inside to my office. I was stalling by listening to the radio in my car. One of my favorite songs, “Battle Belongs,” by Phil Wickham, came on. (Sample lyrics below)

When all I see is the battle, You see my victory
When all I see is the mountain, You see a mountain moved
And as I walk through the shadow, Your love surrounds me
There’s nothing to fear now for I am safe with You
So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And if You are for me, who can be against me? Yeah
For Jesus, there’s nothing impossible for You
When all I see are the ashes, You see the beauty
Thank You God
When all I see is a cross, God, You see the empty tomb
So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
Almighty fortress, You go before us
Nothing can stand against the power of our God
You shine in the shadow, You win every battle
Nothing can stand against the power of our God
Nurse placed adapter in equipment probe of enteral nutrition, palliative care in hospital, conceptual image, composition hotizontal Nurse placed adapter in equipment probe of enteral nutrition, palliative care in hospital, conceptual image, composition hotizontal enteral nutrition stock pictures, royalty-free photos & images

Singing along, I was gently reminded that not only is God for me, He is also for my patient and his family. Not only is He for us as people, but He is also 100% against cancer. God will always aim for a win-win, and only He has the power to do it time and again!

Yes, I remembered this battle belongs to the Lord. So, I decided to let God fight for me, knowing He is also fighting for my patient. I had a good brainstorming session with two of my coworkers, including the specialist on the case before me. I was still nervous to call, but when I did, a creative temporary solution had already been provided. They were going to try that, and I’ll check back with them later this week. 

It’s still a very tough trial, and short of a miracle, this patient will continue to decline. But, while it’s my job to care for him nutritionally, I also feel responsible to pray for his comfort, healing, and well-being. Similarly, I can respond with grace and compassion, since I know what it feels like when the tables are turned.

Ultimately, Jesus is our living hope. There is no need to fear. We can trust Him in all things because He has already won the war, and our Victory is in Him!

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God, You are so good. Thanks for taking good care of all my patients and me. Thanks for fighting our battles, Lord. Help us rely on You and share Your love with others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you ever been in a similar situation, where you are doing your best and people misjudge your effort (or you feel like they are)? How did you handle it?

Tasks: Remember that fear and dread are not from God. Put your trust in Jesus, and watch Him fight your battles.

 

Shine Bright

Yesterday was an interesting day at work! It started off fairly busy without much downtime. My morning flew by with charting and three hour-long patients. Then, two people canceled in the afternoon, giving me time to eat lunch and catch up on more charting before my final afternoon patient.

That’s all pretty standard. But then the power went out in my office and the one next door, where two of my coworkers sit. It was a utility failure! We could not get anything done in the pitch black… so we decided to take a quick walk outside and enjoy the bright sun. We decided to make the best of it!

By the time we came back, everything was up and running again. I thought I lost two of my notes, which were in progress, but thankfully, the computer saved them. I was glad I didn’t have to redo all my work!

An hour or so later, one of the managers walked by, warning us to save our work just in case. There was another (planned) power outage. Sure enough, a few minutes later, my screens went black again. I went to warm up my coffee, and by the time I returned, everything was back to normal.

I’m glad this didn’t happen when my patient was there. We had full power when she walked in a few minutes later!

Later, as I drank my coffee and charted on notes, I thought about ways to handle the unexpected things that pop up, such as challenges, failures, or inconveniences. God doesn’t expect us just to sit alone in the dark with a negative attitude. He wants to shine through us!

There are many ways to destress, such as talking with friends, taking a walk, making a warm drink, taking a nap, or journaling. Instead of being upset about all that’s wrong, we can be thankful for what’s going right.

But most of all, I am grateful for God’s presence and understanding. It’s good to pause and reconnect with God because He always meets us where we are! He graciously provides for all our needs.  

Regardless of the day’s adventures, we always have the opportunity to shine bright for Jesus!

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God, thanks for all the ways You help us! Thanks for helping us make the best of daily stresses. May we shine bright and bring honor to You! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How has God shown up for you this week? Can you see His grace and provision?

Task: Reframe your next unexpected problem and see it through God’s lens.

 

Movie Review: Sound of Freedom

Last night, I watched the ‘Sound of Freedom’ movie with a good friend. We were unsure of what we were getting into since the topic is child trafficking. I wasn’t sure if it was all hype, but it is based on a true story, and I felt it necessary to bear witness. It is important to learn more and call out the darkness. It is listed as PG-13, but I’d say it’s more appropriate for 16+ given the heavy, gripping material.
Honestly, this is probably one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. While some may argue, it is not a political movie nor a religious movie. It’s not about coercion or emotions. It is about saving children and raising awareness. ‘Sound of Freedom’ is about heroism in the face of evil. It’s an incredible story of courage and hope! My heart was pounding from the get-go, but it showcased many brave people stepping up and risking their lives to do what was right.
I learned that more people are enslaved today than at any other time in history (even in the ~300 years when it was ‘legal’); over two million are children. Snatched from their families, often under false pretenses. In terms of money, it has surpassed illegal drugs. Horrifying.
Free Boy Alone photo and picture
This movie is just one small part, but it was outstanding. In terms of acting and storytelling, it was all done very well! As I reflect on it, I understand that the reality is far worse. It shows just enough to make the point. Given the topic, some parts are a little emotional, but it was very much worth seeing. Apparently, it was #1 during it’s opening weekend, even beating Indiana Jones! Wow!
My reaction? This movie makes me want to do two things at once. I could easily hide away in my safety zone, protecting all my loved ones! But I am also compelled to go out and use my voice to make a difference. While God is not calling me to go directly into dangerous territory, I can pray for those in the daily struggle. I can press for better laws and better processes. I encourage you to see the movie and vote with your entertainment dollars.
Similar to how The Chosen tv show was originally funded, you can pay it forward by buying a ticket for someone. (Or, if needed, you can benefit by getting free tickets.)
There is work to be done. Read the statistics. Learn the signs. Donate to an organization. Volunteer. Speak up. Let’s send the message that “God’s children are not for sale!”
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God, thank You for being our Rescuer. Thanks for opening our eyes to the evils around us. Help us move forward in faith, wisdom, and boldness. May we be sensitive to the needs right in front of us. Fill us with compassion and courage. In Jesus’ Name Amen
Questions: How can you be a difference-maker today? Where can you stand in the gap for someone?
Task: Check out the Sound of Freedom movie in theaters now! Also, don’t be overwhelmed with what to do… just do the very next right thing and trust God to lead you.

Sounds of Freedom

When you think about the sounds of freedom, what comes to mind? Gunshots? Bombs? Running? Soldiers yelling orders? Crying? The Star Spangled Banner? Fireworks?

All of those do represent the long fight for freedom. Where would we be without those brave souls who fought and died for those of us several generations down the road? I am glad they aren’t a part of the typical daily American life, but they do still occur around the world. I am grateful for those who continue to fight for freedom and justice.

Free Usa Flag photo and picture

Here are some sounds I associate with freedom.

The weather. That is, being able to hear just the wind or the rain clearly without focusing our attention on survival. I love hearing my windchimes make up their own songs.

To me, freedom sounds like birds chirping. They would not feel so inclined to sing if danger was imminent. Other nature sounds include leaves and grass rustling, crickets chirping, and frogs singing.

Peace around the house, heard in the mundane sounds of the refrigerator, dishwasher, or laundry machine. Being able to enjoy conveniences like indoor plumbing and electricity! Having peace and quiet is a privilege.

“Thank you.” Gratitude for our independence. Thankful for our military and soldiers’ sacrifices. Being a good friend and neighbor. Standing up for injustice. Accepting help, not giving in to fear. Receiving God’s provision and protection.

Laughter. Is there any better sound than the laughter of a child? Lately, Lydia’s joy has been contagious. Her sense of humor is spot on, and I am grateful for these lighthearted moments. So many kids around the world are not always able to be so carefree.

Explaining our American traditions to those who are experiencing them for the first time. I invited our African neighbors to join us for last night’s fireworks. We sat in the driveway eating watermelon and smores. It was fun to see their faces light up in wonder!

Worship. I’m grateful for the right and ability to go to church, praise God at home, and talk about all He is doing in my life… openly and in public, knowing that some believers have to meet secretly and at the cost of their lives. May I never take that for granted!

As I think about freedom, I think of Jesus’ ultimate gift and sacrifice for us. In Him, we have every right and freedom. Freedom from fear, freedom from sin, freedom from tyranny, freedom from eternal death. May we walk wisely and with gratitude.

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God, thank you for the gift of freedom and the ability to enjoy it. May we never forget the great cost of freedom. As we celebrate American independence, help us remember that we are dependent upon You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What does freedom mean to you, and how does your life reflect those values? Do you have any special 4th of July traditions?

Tasks: Consider what sounds you associate with freedom. Make sure to pause and thank God for them! And, remember to bring Jesus along with you as you celebrate.

On Summer Bucket Lists

Summer is always an exciting time of year. Typically, there are a lot of fun activities, people to see, and places to go. Summer weather sure makes it easier to get around. Small errands are quick and don’t take extra effort! Indeed, it is great not to have to bundle up in layers just to go outside! 

Sometimes, it’s difficult to figure out what to do and what to skip. We are more likely to try new things in summer because it feel more free. The daytime hours last longer, but if I am not careful, I could sign up for too much and miss all the wonderful surprises of the season.

It is wise to pray and ask for wisdom before we make our plans.

Free Sunflower Flower photo and picture

For my summer bucket list, I would like to take at least one little hike with Lydia and at least one early morning bike ride with her (before traffic gets crazy). I want to keep working on my yard and sit around a campfire with friends. I want to read some books and listen to my windchimes while sitting on the deck. Add a cup of coffee for the perfect Saturday morning… It’s good to find time to be still!

Lydia’s list is fairly short. She would like to go swimming and hang out with her friends.  She’s also excited to play volleyball and go to camp. Pretty simple.

Last night, I was reminded of a memory from ten years ago when I questioned God’s faithfulness. I angrily accused God of not doing His part to bring the spring. Yes, it had been a really long winter watching Dave decline… But then, in His own way and time, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “I always bring the spring, and I bring the summer, too.”

Immediately, I understood that He had a good plan for me regardless of what happened. (And things certainly got worse!) But, over the years, I have found myself thinking about the summer metaphor, and just as I was writing this post, it hit me.

Maybe this is it.

Free Sunset Sun photo and picture

Lydia and I are not just having a great summer, we are in a place where we are thriving. We have found a good rhythm and are growing every day. We aren’t letting little setbacks become major. We are seeking God’s grace and finding it along the way. We are grateful.

That doesn’t mean everything is perfect. But, it is good. Summer is about a third over, but we don’t know how long the metaphorical summer will last. So, I better make the best of every season and trust God.

You might be going through something rough right now, and it’s hard to see the way forward, let alone think of a bucket list. I understand.

Draw near to God; lay your burdens at the feet of His throne. Rest in Him.

If you let Him, He will carry you to a good spot where you will thrive. He is faithful.

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God, thanks for the gift of summer. You have good plans for us, always. Help us make the most of our time in this beautiful season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you have a summer bucket list? What are your top three items on the list?

Task: Make a list of all the things you would like to do. Road trips, concerts, camping, fishing, etc. Map out your summer because it will go fast!

 

Dandelions and Thistles

I have really enjoyed taking care of my yard this summer. It’s nice to be outside and physically active! I’d love to get some flowers and do more landscaping, but I don’t have that much time and energy! I could hire someone, but that gets expensive, especially when I don’t really have a plan in mind.

Besides, I have an ongoing problem.

Lots of hot sun + not a lot of water = dead patches.

I have a little green grass, a fair amount of dry thatch, and a variety of weeds. It’s all a little defeating sometimes because the thatch and weeds are so prevalent.

I actually don’t mind some weeds; right now, they are the greenest, prettiest portion of my yard! I do try to pull the thistle weeds because they hurt, but the occasional dandelion or creeping whatever-it-is-called doesn’t bother me.

Technically, dandelions are good and, perhaps, cheerful, though they may be unwanted. They are even edible, though I don’t think I’ve ever tried them. In other news, I am seriously thinking about planting micro clover! It is bee-friendly, hearty, and low maintenance. It might conserve the soil, too.

Free Dandelion Flower Dandelion Egret photo and picture

As I was pulling weeds recently, I was able to pray and contemplate. During these precious moments, I was reminded of weeds in the Bible.

In Matthew 13, Jesus taught several parables to explain spiritual issues. He used a lot of agrarian principles, such as sowing, reaping, and weeding.

In the first parable, Jesus talked about a sower who threw seeds onto the ground. They landed on 1) the path and were eaten by birds; 2) rocky ground without much soil, which caused the roots to scorch in the heat; 3) a patch with many weeds, where the seeds were choked out; and 4) good soil, which produced an abundant harvest many times over.

It seems the environment and soil has a lot to do with how well the seeds did. There are lots of other insights if I had more time to get into this. But, I’ll keep it simple today and point you to verses 18-23 linked above. Basically, we need to guard the seed, which is God’s Word, dig deeper, and remove distractions.

Later, in another example, Jesus said to leave the proverbial weeds because removing them would ruin the rest of the crop. He promised to take care of them once the Harvest is at hand.  Soon… come Lord Jesus, come!

Free Wildflower Meadow Flower photo and picture

What are the spiritual weeds in our lives? These could represent the concepts of good and evil, which still coexist in the world. But, personally, I’m considering distraction, social media, laziness, disobedience, fear, and more. They choke, entangle, and sap our strength. They hinder growth and may prevent maturity. They keep us from living a full life!

I suppose a lot of my problems would be solved if I would consistently water the grass that’s left. Perhaps it would even sprout in some new areas with some grass seed. Though, I am a little conflicted. Water is a precious resource and the vanity of the short growing season.

So, for now, I will just get the weeds I can and do my best. Unfortunately, they just spread continually. Perhaps more importantly, I’ll diligently remove spiritual weeds, as they also spread quickly. And perhaps I can keep researching that micro clover!

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God, thanks for being such a good Father. Thanks for tending to us and providing for us. Help us remove spiritual weeds from our lives. Give us wisdom as we grow and see You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you enjoy yard work? Do you like vegetable or flower gardening? What spiritual weeds are you enabling in your life?

Task: Read Matthew 13 and meditate on it. Pray about any spiritual weeds in your life. You will need God’s strength and power to remove them for good!

A Moment to Reconnect

As you may recall, recently, our pastor gave a couple of sermons on baptism. There are two kinds, one with water and one with the Holy Spirit. I won’t explain all the details now, but you can listen here.

After the first sermon, Lydia was inspired to be water baptized. The second sermon was preached on her baptism day, so we caught up later by listening online during our lunch this past Sunday at home (yes, a week later!). It was about having God’s power in us through the Holy Spirit.

While these are not new concepts for me, I am excited to see them through Lydia’s young eyes. She has a good level of understanding but also has interesting questions! It also helps me to think through and reconnect with the message of Christ when I am explaining it all to her. Thank You, Jesus!

Then, last night, I was going to ask Lydia about my blog post, knowing she sometimes has good insights to share. Sure enough! I didn’t realize it then, but I interrupted her time with God!

She kindly gave me the phrase, “Stay in the moment,” and went back to her quiet time. I searched my blog and found a couple of other posts in a similar vein, so decided to take her idea but add a twist based on what she was actually doing at that moment.

A few minutes later, Lydia reminded me that Pastor Dave said if we “only have ten minutes to pray, we should spend eight minutes worshiping God, and two minutes asking for what you need. And if you don’t get around to asking Him, don’t worry about it. He already knows!” Worship is vital.

It thrilled me that Lydia set herself a little timer as she reconnected with God! 🙂 I know He is even more pleased than me, but seeing her doing this on her own with Him is so cool!!

In addition, we have begun sharing personal insights from our daily time with God with each other. Each of us reads a passage (same or different), and then we discuss what we learned about God, Jesus, and/or the Holy Spirit; what we learned about ourselves; and what we will do to apply the information. Pretty basic, but it works for kids and adults alike!

I’m sure our routine will evolve over time, but it is fun to help Lydia discern God’s Truth and see her grow! As her mom, I am her first example of what it means to follow Jesus, and I take that seriously.

Free Praise Worship illustration and picture

To be clear, there is no particular amount of time we should worship God or pray. Some may only have ten minutes here and there, while others can set aside a bigger chunk of time. Either way, we can spend every moment of every day walking and talking with our Father God and Savior Jesus through the Holy Spirit in us! What a privilege!

The point is to simply come… as you are. Lay aside all pretense or need to be perfect. Be still and know that He is God. Open your heart and mind to Jesus.

Allow the Holy Spirit to direct you. Transformation only comes from spending time in the presence of God!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your grace and love! Thanks for the privilege of spending time with You. Please change us from the inside out as we reconnect with You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you like to connect or reconnect with God? Do you like reading the Bible, praying, singing, walking, drawing pictures, etc.?

Tasks: Come and sit in God’s presence today. How that looks for you will be unique. But remember, you don’t have to feel anything to be loved! You already are!

 

Sensing God’s Presence

The heat is already setting in here in Fargo, so it seems Summer will soon be upon us! At the same time, that means Construction season is also here, so all the orange cones, neon clothing, and flashing lights are in view.

Really, I don’t mind, except when I have a detour that gets me lost or makes me late! But, sometimes, I just find a new way to get somewhere or enjoy a scenic route I would have otherwise missed. Either way, Spring and Summer help me be in tune with all my senses, which in turn, point me to God.

On my walks in to work from the parking lot, I hear motorcycles and other traffic, lawnmowers, birds chirping, etc. I am grateful for my hearing because I serve many Veterans who have lost some or all of their hearing.

I love seeing all the beautiful trees: red/pink crab apple, dogwood, and who knows the rest! I have also enjoyed the multicolored tulips,  green grass, blue sky, and yellow sun!

Free Flowers Petals photo and picture

We have also enjoyed tasting fresh veggies, salads, and fruit. Especially blueberries, watermelon, pineapple, or maybe even a fruit popsicle. Oh, I do love s’mores as well!

That reminds me of the smells associated with campfires and grilling. Also, I have had people give me fresh flowers two weeks in a row. Thanks to my family and the friend who gave them to me!

We mowed the lawn last week and felt some of the grass tickling the back of our legs (yes, it grew faster than I expected!). And, on Sunday, I spent time on the deck barefoot!

There are two other senses that often get overlooked. These are vestibular and proprioception. These are related to the sense of touch and involve movement and balance. For this example, Lydia and I have had fun playing outdoor games, riding bikes, and going for walks.

That makes me curious… how do you experience God in your day-to-day life? Where do you sense Him at work? Do you hear His voice… and listen? Do you see His hand moving in your circumstances, working everything for your good? Do you feel His love personally or through others? Do you taste the goodness and joy around you? Do you catch a whiff of His grace? You can use your imagination a little here, but it’s worth some serious thought!

Each of us may sense God differently, as He made us all unique, but His Truth stands firm. While seasons come and go, God never changes! He is our solid Rock, and according to Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.” He is with us and for us always. May we find joy in the beauty around us, and may it lead us to Jesus!

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God, thanks for designing me to yearn for You. Draw me near and speak to me in ways I can understand. Don’t let me miss what You are doing in my life. Let me join you and help serve others! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are your responses to the questions above? How can you seek the Lord today?

Tasks: Watch this 3-minute video about the colors of creation. It goes through how our eyes perceive colors and how that changes throughout the day. God is an amazing Creator!!

Hallelujah Anyway!

Monday was the tenth anniversary of Dave’s death. A whole decade without him. Not knowing how I would feel, I took time off to give myself the space to just be.

Sometimes we go away and do something special, but this year, we decided to do a staycation instead. Lydia and I celebrated Dave’s life by doing fun things all weekend. We played games, made brownies, went on a little hike, tried hyperbowling, and went out to eat a fancy dinner! I also went on a bike ride and got a massage while she was in school.

You’d think I’d have it all figured out by now. Been there, done that. But somehow, the last few months felt like I was going back to the beginning. Not necessarily in terms of deep grief but rather second-guessing myself. Like, “Why I am I still dealing with this or that?” I think it stemmed from being overwhelmed with work and other decisions while not having enough time to really rest.

Overwhelm is loosely related to fear, which, historically, has been a stronghold for me. I know when that happens, I need to re-evaluate and deal with it right away. So, as you may recall, I spoke up at work and made some personal changes. I prayerfully focused on quiet time with the Lord and self-care, such as exercise, sleep, simple meals, and restorative activities. I am feeling much better now!
Not too long ago, one of my dear college friends sent me a message that she was praying for me. She said, “The same God who was with you then is with you now. You have grown and changed and will continue to grow and change, but God has and will remain the same… mind-blowing!” She then quoted Psalm 62:5, “Find rest my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.”
Well, I think that’s a pretty good summary of God’s faithfulness! I could not do any of this without Him. He is so gracious and reliable. I feel His presence and wisdom when answering every one of Lydia’s many deep questions about life, death, Dave, and pre-teen worries.
Thanks to all those who continue to support us through prayer, words of encouragement, and the occasional hand around the house. I have an amazing family, neighbors, coworkers, and friends. I appreciate each person who sends a card, a prayer, a well-timed word, or helps around the house on occasion.
So, while Monday was a near-perfect day, honestly, I was a little relieved when it was over. We made it through, but it’s just a lot, you know? Then yesterday, I heard this song, “Hallelujah Anyway,” by Rend Collective. It was a great reminder that our hope is in Jesus. “Even if” or when life goes awry, God is still in control and on His throne, we have the Holy Spirit working in us, and we have eternity with Jesus in Heaven.
Our emotions and circumstances don’t dictate our response to God’s presence in our lives. I hope you can say “hallelujah anyway” through whatever you face today. God is worthy of all our praise and gratitude. He is so good!
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God, we praise You, when things go well and even when they don’t… because You are worthy through it all. Thanks for Your grace and goodness. May we be a living example of Your love today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Question: In what ways might you say, “hallelujah anyway” today?
Task: Life is so short. Make sure to celebrate and appreciate all the goodness in your life. Remember to praise God and thank Him, as He is the source of all good things!

Mood Meter

Hello! How are you feeling today? Today, I want to tell you about a tool called an emotion wheel that can help you understand how you feel so you can decide what to do about it!

I first encountered it while writing my book, though it has existed for many years. It helped me describe my feelings about Dave’s sickness and death, not to mention my struggle with fear, faith, and moving forward.

The act of writing was rewarding but challenging, so I appreciated being able to point to an adjective and analyze my feelings, process my grief, and stick with my project. In short, this tool takes abstract concepts and makes them more concrete.

I recently came across the emotion wheel again, and it felt like God’s perfect timing, as next Monday is the tenth anniversary of Dave’s death.

Most emotion wheels will highlight the basic feelings of happiness/joy, sadness/grief, fear, anger, disgust, and surprise. As Lysa TerKeurst says, “Emotions are indicators, not dictators.” So, we can use them for insight, but they don’t run the show and should not predict how we act.

We must identify emotions to validate and resolve them before they spill over on others. Unchecked emotions can lead to assumptions and wreak havoc. If not now, later. Unresolved anger can lead to passive aggressiveness, jealousy, and revenge. Fear can yield playing it safe and missed opportunities. Grief, without an outlet, can stop someone from living fully.

There are several ways to use the emotion wheel. You can start in the middle and work your way out, or vice versa. Find words that resonate with you and see how they are related. Then, you can come up with the next steps to address them.

Not surprisingly, it is common to feel several emotions at any moment. We may be confused or conflicted, like we are literally all over the place internally. Many of us feel physical sensations, like headaches, gut issues, pain, etc. We also tend to misunderstand others’ emotions, taking things personally when we shouldn’t.

Here are a couple of examples that have stood out to me when I’ve used the wheel:

“Oh, I am feeling isolated, which is similar to being lonely and related to sadness. Hmmm… could it be another layer of grief?” I could take a walk, but maybe I need to call someone for support.

or

“I am feeling overwhelmed, which is next to anxiety, which is rooted in fear. Why am I feeling afraid?” I should read some Bible verses about fear and turn my worries over to God.

Another example is this: I had a fun day recently, laughing and receiving good news. As you can imagine, I was mostly feeling happy emotions. In some ways, reading the adjectives later helped me relish the joy all the more.

Interestingly, I rarely feel angry – I deal more with fear… while Lydia more easily identifies with anger – yet it comes and goes quickly! We both relate to happiness and sadness, but less often, disgust. It has been fun to see and hear her perspective, and I hope it is a way for us to continue communicating as she moves into middle school.

Another tool is a chart I found on Etsy. It came as a download or in the form of a pillowcase! It ranks feelings according to a spectrum of energy and positivity. Anger is an adverse reaction, and it uses a lot of emotional energy. The sad emotions are typically less positive and drain energy. Joy is positive and high energy, while calmness is positive and low energy.

This was insightful because I tend to feel lower energy levels, but now I wonder if it’s just my personality. As an introvert, I get excited sometimes, but overall, I enjoy calmness and a slower pace. In fact, this is a great strength, but the world moves more quickly. Thankfully, I am learning to interpret what’s going on a little better so I can plan ahead. If I have a big event ahead, I can pare down my schedule to conserve energy and implement some strategies for coping and recovery.

Of course, there is no right way or wrong way to feel. These are simply tools. Nonetheless, you can combine them with Scripture to tap into all God has for you!

While Satan wants us to stay stuck in our emotions, distracted and offended, Jesus wants us to live fully! (See John 10:10.) Instead of being ruled by our feelings, let’s use them to turn to God! Instead of running away from our emotions, let’s use them to run to God.

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God, thanks for giving us emotions to help us feel and understand Your goodness. Help us to honor You and manage them well. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Do you notice how your emotions change throughout the day? How does that affect your energy? What is your natural response to your feelings?
Tasks: For a fun challenge, use an emotion wheel to track how you feel during the day. Note any themes, pray about resolving any negativity, and keep moving forward!