Category: Personality

Personality-based information and thoughts

Posted on in Being Gracious, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Personality, Wisdom, Words

Love Moved First

I love how God always prompts us to move out of our comfort zone. He often guides us by placing several “markers” around us. For me, this most noticeable when sermons, songs, conversations, and circumstances all line up.

Being a mom also has a way of bringing up certain topics! It is important for me to set a good example for Lydia, so I can coach her through her own issues.

God’s timing and Lydia’s questions about friendship got me thinking!

Good relationships take time to cultivate. Friendships are an investment.

Over time, I’ve learned to take responsibility to preserve my friendships if I value them.

Then again, not every relationship needs to be salvaged. This can be especially difficult when feelings have been hurt and the other person doesn’t seem to care. Sometimes growth means growing apart instead of closer together. And that’s okay.

We live. We learn. We move on.

However, as long as it is up to me (Romans 12:18), I need to do everything God is asking me to do when things go wrong. I can forgive, even if the other person does not apologize.

Besides, forgiveness is not really about the other person. It sets me free and makes me right with God. Then, I can move forward with peace. Thank You, Jesus.

The true test of a good friend is that they point me to Jesus and bring out my best traits. They pray for me, call me out, and lift me higher. I do the same for them. 

We won’t always agree, but we will allow for each other’s differences. We will give each other the benefit of the doubt (instead of presuming the worst).

There will be both give and take in a healthy relationship. If it is a good fit, it will stand under pressure. But, I may need to prayerfully reconsider how close someone is (or should be) if it is always a one-sided relationship.

Thankfully, I can follow Jesus’ example. He did the right thing, even when it cost Him greatly. He made the first step while we were still unaware of the problem (Romans 5:8).

I can also take the first steps of obedience, even if what happened isn’t my fault or my problem. I can extend grace, even when it feels unfair. Grace, by definition, is undeserved. 

If I want to be like Jesus and live for Him, I have to be willing to go the extra mile and turn the other cheek. Ultimately, it’s not about me, but what God is doing through me.

Similarly, I don’t have to let someone’s stubbornness harden my heart, too. I don’t have to accept their behavior or abandon my convictions, but I can always be gracious.

In fact, the person may never change… but I can keep praying for them anyway.

Reaching out may mean calling or sending a card to let someone know I care. It could mean inviting them over to hang out, but that may not always be possible. In some cases, the best thing I can do is give the person space. Often, time and distance bring clarity.

Of course, each decision requires a certain measure of prayer and wisdom. Indeed, it can be challenging to be supportive yet not get sucked into someone else’s drama! A true friend will show up and be willing to have difficult conversations.

As long as I set solid boundaries, I am able to let God direct my path, knowing He will bring the right people in my life. And while it is sad when people choose to leave, I can continue being kind and trust God will be good to them as well. He loves us all so much!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your unconditional love. Help me love people like You do, with hope, grace, and perseverance. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Is there a relationship in your life that needs a little extra TLC? How is God leading you? Is there something specific you should do to reach out?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Love Moved First,” by Casting Crowns.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

The Beauty of Fractals

Recently, I requested and received feedback for a project I’ve been working on. My project was reviewed, and in due time, I was told it is “middling.”

Mediocre, so-so, and average are synonyms for this word. Perhaps the feedback was meant as constructive criticism, but at the time, it really hurt.

It’s not that I disagreed. I intentionally try to keep things simple! I purposely try to ‘make plain’ difficult concepts and help people understand so they can take effective action.

So, to help me deal with my initial reaction, I prayed about it. Thankfully, I realized one person doesn’t have the final say on my project. There are several other factors to consider. 

I shouldn’t disregard the feedback entirely, and I do need to make some changes. But regardless of what happens, I shouldn’t stress about other people’s expectations.

I will do my best, but I don’t need to impress people by ‘glamorizing’ my project. It’s just not who I am. In fact, I often get lost in the details and suspect many others do, too.

I have decided if my project brings me joy, that is a good indicator I am on the right track. I believe God is pleased with my project, and my joy is just as important as my effort.

Around the same time, I learned more about another topic, called “fractal geometry.” This is the real-world application of mathematic principles.

For instance, there are formulas to calculate how much space comprises a cone or pyramid. Traditional geometry works great in theory, but a mountain is not a true cone or pyramid. It has crags and is otherwise ‘misshapen.’ 

Thus, fractal geometry allows us to adjust and use the information to meet our needs. There is much beauty in the asymmetry and imperfection of fractals.

Every coastline has nonlinear jags and is constantly changing thanks to erosion. Also, tree bark is not an exact sphere, and neither branches nor leaves are spaced evenly. In fact, each tree species has its own special pattern that defies theoretical calculations.

Snowflakes, rivers, and blood vessels have fractal qualities, too. So do we!

God has designed us each uniquely. Thus, we really can’t compare one of us to another.

Each of us was designed by God to live for Him and bring Him praise. But each of us does that differently. Even if we sing the same song, our voices are different. And, the gratitude with which we sing is also unique to the challenges we have faced.

Together, my small group ladies read the YouVersion devotional called, “Double Blessing.” It is based on the new book by Mark Batterson. The author mentioned the complexity of fractals and something called a Mandelbrot set.

Mr. Batterson also explained how in Lamentations 3:22-23, it says God’s mercies are new every morning, but that word “new” also implies “different” mercies. There are no repeats. God always matches His mercies to our individual circumstances and obstacles.

Even if we do similar things every day, the pattern is always slightly different. God meets us there and provides His mercy and grace in just the right amount. No two days or experiences are exactly alike. Isn’t that amazing?!

I don’t know what your circumstances are today. I hope everything is going well for you, but even if it’s not, I pray you will trust in God’s mercies.

Perhaps, like me, you have been told you aren’t good at something. But that doesn’t mean you are good at nothing. If God has called you to do something for Him, He will provide the ideas, skills, resources, and perfect timing. Trust Him!

That doesn’t mean everything will come easy to you. If it’s worth doing, it will likely take hard work, diligence, and perseverance. But, God will help you and give you the ability!

God has a good, specially-designed purpose for you! Of course, Life is full of random expectations and hoops to jump through, but you don’t have to live for other people’s feedback. Sift through what is necessary and adjust your own expectations. Then, walk in your God-given strengths and trust Him to cover Your weaknesses. He is faithful!

As long as you are doing your best, don’t worry about proving yourself. Just follow Jesus, and He will take care of the rest. He will empower you to walk in His plan.

Remember, God’s mercies are both new and different every day. There is always enough time and grace to live for Him. His love never fails!

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Heavenly Father, I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Please help me live for your approval only. Help me wisely discern the feedback I receive. Help me walk the unique path You have designed for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How can you praise God in a way no one else can? Does the concept of fractals change anything for you?

Tasks: Start looking for ‘fractals’ in everyday life! They are all around us! Praise God for all the ways He works in your life. Write down how He has been faithful to you!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Wisdom

No Problem!

For a planner like me, interruptions to my schedule used to throw me off. If I had several tasks on my to-do list, but then someone needed something, it would stress me out. It’s not that I didn’t want to help or hang out, but my perfectionistic personality was easily overwhelmed as I (most likely) tried to figure everything out on my own.

If I spent time with people, I sacrificed getting anything else done. But if I focused on tasks, I felt like I was neglecting friendships. It was frustrating and I rarely felt like I was doing a good job at anything. I was stumped. 😉

Of course, people take priority. And, life is full of interruptions and distractions (some good and some not so good). Thankfully, God took my gnarled mess and helped me adjust.

To start, parenthood, cancer, and grief, all provided dramatic circumstances for God to transform me. With His refining, the hidden blessing is I now have balance.

When people request my time, I see it as God’s gentle reminder to take a break and have fun… or serve others with my whole heart. When I do have more time to myself, I feel free to work on projects and tasks without guilt. I have learned both work and rest are good.

Now, I can usually just roll with it, knowing God will help me accomplish everything I’m supposed to do. After all, He knows exactly where and how I need to spend my life.

Lately, I have been thinking about how God orchestrates our lives in perfect timing. Similarly, our struggles can be perfect opportunities for God to show up. From ancient times, we see He has a certain dramatic flair and enjoys displaying His power and might!

Creation started with His words, “Let there be light,” as if He was setting the stage. Then, He created a vast universe, which we still have not fully discovered. Wow!

In the Bible, we see lots of other dramatic interventions where God steps in to save the day. He rolled back the Red Sea to save the Israelites out of Egypt. He helped David defeat Goliath with five smooth stones. He protected Daniel in the lions’ den. He walked with the three men in a fiery furnace; they came out unsinged and didn’t even smell like smoke!

God even forewarned King Nebuchadnezzar and then made a fool of him by making him act like a mad cow, eating grass on his hands and knees for seven years until he repented of his prideful ways. Can you imagine?!

Jesus was born of a virgin, made wine from water, calmed a storm, walked on water, and paid His taxes with a coin from the mouth of a fish. He healed many people, raised the dead, and performed other miracles. He also died on the Cross to pay for our sins (with a dramatic earthquake and tearing of the holy veil from top to bottom). Boom.

Then, God’s power raised Jesus from the dead precisely when He said it would happen (cue another earthquake rolling away the tomb!). Later, the Holy Spirit enabled uneducated outcasts to perform miracles and turn the world upside down as they spread the gospel message. Whoa!

I guess you could say God loves a good story!

Seriously, God can do far more than we can ask or imagine! And, if you let Him fight for you, it’s likely He will come through for you in creative ways you would have never guessed possible. Just wait on Him!

Whatever challenges you are facing, bring them to Jesus. Sickness, debt, sadness, anger, frustration, fear, confusion, disappointment, bitterness, resentment… big or small it all matters to God. He knows how to handle it.

Example: Recently, one friend had her (rather large) bill from surgery forgiven, while another friend received back pay from an old job she had forgotten about, and still another friend got a new job with more pay. It was cool to see how God creatively provided for each of them according to their unique needs!

Nothing is too big or impossible for Him! It’s no problem!

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Ah, Lord God! Nothing is too difficult for You! Your plans for us are good! Help us trust You as we wait for You act. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What challenges are you facing right now? How can you trust God more? Are you willing to let Him move on your behalf?

Task: Make a list of all your previous challenges and then mark down how God was faithful. Watch for His creativity and look for hidden blessings.

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fruit, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Personality, Wisdom, Words

In Defense

“Maybe we should stop disliking people for what we have heard and be grateful God does not dislike us for what He knows.” –TobyMac

That quote reminds me of the impact of our words. Recently, someone was talking negatively about a friend of mine and put me in an awkward position. Yes, my friend certainly has faults, but I still enjoy their company.

I couldn’t discern if the person talking to me was jealous of my friend or actually had valid information. Either way, I heard an earful of unwanted gossip and was caught off guard.

While I tried to defend my friend, I don’t think I did an adequate job. Now that I’ve collected my thoughts, I’ll be sure to speak up next time. In the meanwhile, here’s what I should have said to the other person, but didn’t.

I don’t know about all that, but I really appreciate my friend! They have been good to me. They have selflessly helped me in countless ways over the years, often putting their own tasks on hold. I have learned so much from them, just as they have learned from me.

We have prayed for each other, and we have seen each other grow in Christ. Yes, perhaps they still have things to work on, but I’m grateful for how far they’ve come.

Furthermore, I want to see the good in people and hope they do the same for me. God knows I have faults too. But, because of Jesus, we have received mercy, grace, and forgiveness. We should extend the same toward others.

Similarly, let’s offer the benefit of the doubt. We weren’t there, so we don’t know the full story. Even if we were there, we wouldn’t necessarily know why things happened.

That doesn’t mean we ignore bad behavior, make excuses, or skip accountability. Yes, restitution is important, but there are many complex factors involved. It’s not always an easy, black-and-white answer.

Instead, when I sense an issue needs to be addressed, I ask my friend for their input and perspective. We don’t always agree, but we trust each other. We don’t make assumptions; we try to understand each other’s heart and intentions.

Remember, each person has God-given potential and a unique purpose. If we define someone by all their faults and failures, it’s likely they’ll never rise above them and fulfill God’s plan for their life.

They won’t come higher unless we raise our expectations of them. Let’s challenge them and encourage them along the way. Let’s agree with God and call out the good we see.

Let’s focus on everyone’s strengths, and cover their weaknesses with love. Let’s pray for people and mentor them, when possible. Not everyone is our responsibility to reach, but we can still set a godly example and point people to Jesus.

We need to be very careful not to ruin someone’s reputation with hearsay. So, let’s walk in a worthy manner and be wise in our interactions with everyone. We never know what they may glean from us… positive or negative influences that shape who they become.

We cannot change anyone, but we can extend grace toward everyone so they see Jesus and come to Him. Watching our words is difficult at times. But with Jesus, nothing is impossible.

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God, thanks for Your great mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Please help us continue to grow and get along with each other. Give us the unity of heart and purpose. Strengthen our relationships with each other so we can bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you deal with gossip? What else should I have said?

Tasks: Before you talk about someone, check your own heart. Memorize Ephesians 4:29, which says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)

Posted on in Life is Short, Little Free Library, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Personality, Procrastination, Wisdom

3,000 Emails

It’s no surprise I love to read. It’s a wonderful way to learn! I enjoy physical books, ebooks, audiobooks, magazines, pamphlets, and online reading. Growing up, I used to read for an hour each afternoon on the school bus. I also have a little free library in my front yard.

Reading and learning were always family priorities, and I also am instilling the love of lifelong learning in Lydia. She’s also well on her way to becoming an excellent reader.

I have an ever-growing ‘to be read’ book pile, but I’m especially fond of trivia (or otherwise random data!). My intuitive brain loves those details that connect everything together, but on their own don’t mean much.

Knowledge is a wonderful gift, but if I’m not careful, too much data input can be distracting. I’ll read a book or article and stop to look up something trivial. That will lead to another tangent and before long, I’ve got a whole lot of random ideas with no real purpose. If I don’t refocus my attention, my concentration is lost and I make no progress!

I love both ‘snail mail’ and electronic mail. Sometimes, I sign up through email to learn more about a topic. I like receiving free handouts, recipes, devotionals, guides, and more.

Well, as you can imagine, the emails stack up and I don’t get around to reading them all! Lately, it has been difficult to answer important emails because I’ve had so many to sort through. Time for an electronic cleanup!

On Monday, I woke up early and took advantage of the quiet. I purged about 500 emails right away. That fueled my motivation, prompting me to search topically and delete more.

I cleared out junk mail, spam, and advertisements. I unsubscribed from several newsletters, too. Many of them were nutrition-focused with yummy recipes I hope I can find later online. If not, I’ll find something similar!

Over the last 48 hours, I have deleted over 1,800 emails. It feels so good, and I still have more to go! I may never get to zero, but now I’m excited to check my email and read what I have left.

I don’t feel overwhelmed, and I don’t feel like I am avoiding my inbox anymore!

Life is too short to live distracted. Years from now, the status of my inbox will not matter any more than my to-do list. So why waste time or mental energy hoping I’ll get around to it? If it was truly important, I would have prioritized it by now!

We were never meant to hold onto extra burdens with no meaning. Who has time for 3,000 emails?! Even if many of the emails had good content, it was just too much.

Maybe your inbox isn’t a problem. But, maybe your focus is on organizing your pantry, art project, yard, finances, or relationships. Anything can distract us.

We have a daily decision to make. Do I put my hope, trust, and effort in Jesus or the World? One has Eternal value and the other will not last. Choose wisely!

If our eyes are on Jesus, we will avoid wasting time on useless distractions. (Sometimes, we have to make a sacrifice!) If something is from God, it will have a purpose and bring life. And, if it is not, it will fade away because it does not matter.

Even in challenges, with God’s help, we will be energized. If He is in it, we will bear an abundance of fruit. It probably won’t be easy and it might take all we have, but we will have focus and not be completely drained!

Jesus is worth every second and every breath… 3,000 emails… not so much!

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Heavenly Father, thanks all You do for us. Thanks for redirecting us and giving us an eternal perspective. Help us put You first and live wholeheartedly for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you check email regularly? Have you ever gotten your inbox to zero? What changes might God be asking YOU to make?

Tasks: Start purging old emails! And, ask God to direct your path so you can hear His voice and follow Him.

 

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Personality, Prayer, Wisdom

Insult and Injury

Have you ever felt like just when something got good, it all went bad?

Have you ever felt like just when God started moving, Satan came to steal it all away?

Our enemy wants nothing more to do than to get us off God’s path. He stirs up trouble using fear and uncertainty to make us second-guess what is going on. He lies to us and does anything he can to derail us. In the chaos, he steals, kills, and destroys. 

But don’t throw away what is good, all you have worked for and what remains. There is so much at stake, far beyond what we can see. If we don’t seek God’s Truth and perspective, we risk losing it all. Yet nothing is impossible with God. There is always hope!

He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

Just about everything in life has the potential to turn sour. A job, a relationship, a home, a vehicle, your health, your plans, or your finances… It’s even worse when these things are all connected. It can feel like the enemy is winning.

Clearly, having healthy boundaries and making wise decisions is important. We have to take responsibility for our choices. We have ‘free will’ to make decisions, but we are not free from the consequences. Occasionally, the circumstances are out of our hands.

For many of us, the temptation is to live by our emotions—to worry about what went wrong or to blame someone else. We want the pain to go away, so we tend to either run away or retaliate. Don’t give in.

In some cases, we choose to move on and hope something better comes along. Yet avoidance can be confusing and depressing if we don’t deal with the problem in healthy ways. It can fester and often becomes worse.

When someone doesn’t meet our expectations, we take offense and want to get even. When we don’t get what we wanted or thought we needed or deserved, we understandably grow mad. Yet, we can choose to offer the grace of forgiveness.

Dear Friend, I don’t know what happened, but I know it hurts. Whatever went wrong, I wish I could take away your pain. I know it may feel unfair, but please don’t give up. Forgiveness is just as important for you as it is for the other person (or people). You can never grow past this if you do not release it and learn from it.

Life is full of challenges. When we get passed over for a promotion, we focus on our failures. When we take a financial hit, we try to figure out how to make ends meet. When our health is affected, we wish things were different. The more we think about the injustices, the more power they have over us. Still, we can choose to think differently.

Many times, we did everything right. What happened as a result is not our fault. But even if we do have legitimate reasons to be upset, we weren’t meant to live under the duress of insult and injury. We were made for freedom!

Our emotions are volatile. There are days when our feelings can change every five minutes! Take some space if needed, but don’t rush a decision. Wait it out.

Imagine what could happen if you stay still and don’t overreact. Your situation might be different than expected, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be turned around for good. Especially if God is in it.

Perhaps you’re going through something that is testing everything you thought was sure. The pain and sorrow are more than you can bear. It’s going to take a lot of patience and effort, but you are not in this alone—bring it to Jesus and let Him handle it. He sees the big picture; our victory is in Him alone!

By faith, do what you can to make things right and leave the rest with Jesus. He knows all about unfairness and can help you work through it. He provides for you, loves you dearly, and always has your best in mind. Forever faithful, He will make a way where there seems to be no way. Trust Him!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your constant love and grace. Help us to make wise decisions in the midst of trials. Give us peace and help us trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What if all you’ve been going through will be used to strengthen you and even help someone else? Would that change your perspective and help you endure it? Would that change how you are dealing with it?

Tasks: When trials come, we want to take matters in our own hands, but don’t do anything you’ll regret. Life is short; don’t spend your days in anger or bitterness. Find a trusted friend and/or seek wise counsel. Take it to Jesus and let Him fight for you. God’s got this!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Little Free Library, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Personality

Finding Grace #164

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a good week and some days were very full. On Easter, we spent time with friends after church. We traveled to their house and we met a new couple as well. They had moved here from out of state (for school and work) and had wanted to re-establish their faith. Despite outward appearances, we discovered several things we had in common. Because of Jesus, we had an instant connection!

On Wednesday, we had a bikeathon at church as a fundraiser for missions. There were quite a few kids on bikes, scooters, roller blades, and skateboards. Also, the kids in Junior Bible Quiz who earned an achievement award received them. Lydia worked very hard all year and earned her Discoverer seal. I’m so proud of all her effort!

Thursday evening was spent with my Bible study ladies, while Friday another friend came over for Chinese. We also chatted with my family over the phone. I’m grateful for so many wonderful people in my life!

This morning, we went to an open house for a friend who graduated with her Ph.D. I met her faculty advisors and heard so many wonderful things about my friend and her influence on others for Jesus. She is full of joy, always has good things to say, and encourages everyone she meets! Her main advisor was a nice older gentleman originally from Bloomington, Illinois, very close to where I grew up. He even did his student teaching in my hometown many years ago. (He has been in Fargo at NDSU since 1976.) It is refreshing to find people who know where I am from. What a small world!

We had more beautiful weather this week. I enjoyed being out in the bright sun! I have seen several people stopping by our little free library. Today, I even saw a full rainbow around the sun (see pic above)! I have never seen that before in real life… normally we only see partial rainbows due to buildings, trees, or the horizon. Praise God!

Today, we met two new families on our block and saw other neighbors we already know. I’m especially grateful for all the sweet, funny (and sometimes crazy)  kids! I played ball with them, supervised them, answered a million questions, and fed them snacks. One little girl fell off her bike, and in tears, ran over to me for a hug. There are so many personalities among them, but each child adds so much to the group dynamics. 🙂

I’m grateful for how God always directs our path and blesses us. He is so good!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Personality

Moving Past Fear, Anxiety, and Worry

Last week, I started a small group Bible study for ladies, called Facing Fear, Finding Faith. We use a workbook and Scripture to discuss Biblical coping methods for facing fear, anxiety, and worry. It takes what we know from clinical psychology and combines it with God’s word. A powerful double whammy!

I am the facilitator for my group, which meets at my house, but we all have opportunities to share ideas with each other. I am looking forward to growing with these ladies!

For the purposes of our study, fear, anxiety, and worry are treated the same. But, the definitions provided in the workbook are listed separately. (source, page 2)

Fear: The cause of the threat is known, and is based in reality.

Anxiety: The threat is unknown. Because the individual cannot pinpoint the source of threat, an overall uneasy feeling of dread results.

Worry: The threat may be known or unknown. The individual is consumed with a nagging, excessive concern.

As I prepared to lead the group, I spent a lot of my time considering how each of these has impacted me. To my surprise, what I generally have always categorized as generalized fear, could actually be anxiety or worry.

Additionally, not all fears are negative. Some fears are healthy and keep us safe. There is a rational component, such as not touching a hot stove because you’d get burned. In this case, fear seems fairly relatable. Anyone could be afraid of a known threat based in reality.

The workbook, however, is more focused on the overwhelming and unhelpful side of fear. The problem occurs when fear stops you from being bold and living a full life.

Taking my hot stove example to the extreme, you might never cook anything at all or avoid the entire kitchen for fear of a hot stove. Then, it becomes irrational or life-controlling.

Surprisingly, I relate more to anxiety than I previously would have guessed. At times, I can get kind of jittery inside, yet it takes me a while to understand what is causing me to be agitated. Just even pausing and becoming more aware has helped!

For me, worry boils down to focusing on something so much I neglect other thoughts or tasks. I can get so stuck in my head sometimes! 🙂

So why am I explaining this to you?

Well, for one thing, week one of this study was eye-opening to me because I thought I just struggled with fear—but didn’t understand the role anxiety and worry played.

I already feel a million times more at peace, just by distinguishing the different factors at work. I’m excited as I prepare for week two!

Plus, by identifying the problem, I can quickly take it to Jesus and let Him help me. He is the Light of the World and displaces all fear and darkness! Praise God!

Unwittingly, fear used to be my default. I didn’t even truly realize it until my late-husband Dave got diagnosed with cancer. Then, God taught me how to deal with my fear.

It wasn’t fun, simple, or pretty—but I am so grateful.

Finally, I know many other people deal with these types of issues too. No one should have to deal with fear, anxiety, or worry alone. My hope is this will be a prompt to get some help, professional or otherwise, and break free from fear, anxiety, and worry.

Don’t give up!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for setting me free from fear. Thank You that I don’t have to be afraid. Help me walk in your power and strength. Renew my mind and show me new ways to keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you deal with fear, anxiety, or worry? One…or all three?

Tasks: First, consider asking a counselor or trusted friend (or both!) for help.

Second, listen to “The Way (New Horizons)”  by Pat Barrett. It always reminds me of God’s goodness and redirects my focus back to Jesus. I love the lyrics:

“It’s a new horizon and I’m set on You
And You meet me here today with mercies that are new
All my fears and doubts, they can all come too
Because they can’t stay long when I’m here with You”

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Wisdom, Words

Say So!

Lately, I have been implementing a new morning routine, using “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod (no affiliate links). I have gotten up early on-and-off over the years, but haven’t always maintained those stints…

Nonetheless, I find it helpful to wake up before Lydia so I can have some time to gather my thoughts and accomplish a few personal tasks. It helps me feel like I am starting the morning with my best foot forward.

(It helps that my cousin also gets up early and can keep me accountable!)

One part of the “Miracle Morning” that I have come to enjoy is saying affirmations. I used to think this was a cheesy way to toot my own horn. Not so appealing!

But now, I realize affirmations are really about calling out the good I see in myself.

It’s a way to give myself grace.

I used to focus more on my weaknesses and failures—but let’s face it—that never helped!

Instead, focusing on the positive through saying affirmations out loud has kept me from going back to bed. Another benefit is that I am retraining my brain every morning.

Now that’s a win-win!

This week, I downloaded a phone app called “ThinkUp” which already has a ton of affirmations listed. There is a free version, where you can list 5 affirmations (theirs or DIY). But, for about $15, you can buy the premium version which allows you to track as many as you want.

I have already used a number of the affirmations in the app, but I have put in quite a few of my own, too. Some of them are simple statements like, “I love who I have become.” Some are statements about God’s faithfulness to me. Others are Scripture verses, like Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Some of the affirmations I put in are quotes by famous people, like, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” by Eleanor Roosevelt.

I’ll take all the reminders I can get. As long as it motivates and encourages me, it counts!

Interestingly, while the affirmations about me are true, some of them are not easy to do. Yet they give me something to work toward and achieve.

For example, “I appreciate the ability to rest” is true, but I have to remember to actually do this regularly! Taking care of myself and resting is so important.

One cool part of the app is that you can record the affirmations in your own voice. So, instead of just reading them to yourself, you can listen to them. I love this because it’s essentially reprogramming my self-talk. (It also reminds me of the good in other people.)

God loves affirming us, too! In Matthew 3:17, the Father affirmed Jesus and said how pleased He was with His Son. He loves us the same! Praise God!

Here are some other affirmations I have found helpful:

“I enjoy waking up early to reach my goals.”

“I love taking care of my body so my body can take care of me.”

“I focus on progress, not perfection.”

 “I give myself grace and extend it to others.”

“I am doing my best and that is enough.”

“I am well-loved and have lots of people cheering me on.”

“I am grateful for my life’s challenges because they help me grow and become who I am.”

“Put on the full armor of God.” (from Ephesians 6:10-18)

“I am resilient and keep moving forward.”

“When I see something good, I say so.”

Ultimately, what God says to me and about me is most important.

I want to repeat what He says!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for affirming me in Your Word. Please renew my mind and transform me from the inside out. Thanks for all You do for me! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you use affirmations on a regular basis? Has it changed anything for you?

Tasks: Download the “ThinkUp” app and record at least 5 affirmations!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Personality, Procrastination

Shredding Inadequacy and Indifference

This past Sunday, I was feeling a little blah (aka unmotivated and indifferent). I was also feeling inadequate. I’m sure there are several reasons, including needing to do a lot of housework, while running short on sleep and exercise.

On Sunday, it all was weighing me down because I have struggled to find a good routine lately and have not been meeting my personal goals.

So, on the way to church, I prayed to refocus on God and asked Him to make me a blessing to others at the morning service. Then, I heard a song that spoke to what I was feeling. Every moment can be used to worship God no matter what we are feeling.

Sad, bad, mad, glad, or blah…take it to Jesus!

Ironically, that day the pastor’s sermon was similar. The message was about reclaiming our soul (our mind, will, and emotions) from the world’s influences. We can easily get drained or lose sight of who we are in Christ if we don’t keep things in check.

I felt convicted that I need to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s nudges…humbling in a good way. I was also challenged because often I get stuck in a cycle of performance. Sometimes, I try to reach goals on my own, forgetting to rely on Jesus and what really matters.

It’s not all just paying bills, dishes, laundry, parenting and work. For me, it can also include too much social media times and games, or even too much reading. These activities are fine by themselves, but can be major distractions at times.

Quite possibly, my biggest soul killer can be too much thinking (daydreaming, problem solving, planning, or worrying about things I can’t control). I happen to enjoy thinking quite a bit, but want to make sure my thoughts are God-centered and not self-centered or fear-promoting.

On Monday, Lydia and I took my paper shredder to an office store. Random, I know, but mine was jammed—and had been for at least a month or two. (Yes, I also have been ignoring my to-be-shredded pile for far too long!) With a little nudge from God, I finally decided to ask for help with it.

Well, my shredder was beyond repair so I opted to buy a new one. I didn’t really want to spend more money, as I had recently been to that same store three other times (including for school and office supplies).

To my surprise, I found a floor model that was a major upgrade from my old shredder for about 75% off the original cost. This model was about the same cost as the tiniest shredder on the shelf. And, it was so big it took up the almost the entire cart!

In that moment, I felt God’s grace and love because He knew just what I needed. I had wanted a bigger shredder so I don’t have to empty the other one as fast. But I hadn’t planned to buy one because of the cost.

Thus, it felt like a blessing to get such a deal on this giant new shredder—like God hand-picked it for me! I’m grateful I didn’t miss what He wanted to do for me. Acknowledging God’s presence encouraged me and reenergized me!

Even something as trivial as a paper shredder can be a tool God uses to draw us closer to Him. It also felt like a positive step in tackling my messy office floor! Quite a few unruly piles of paper have accumulated over time!

Later, in another moment of brave humility (is that a thing?), I felt motivated to ask a friend for help. I need some accountability! She gladly agreed to come help me go through some boxes and clutter that have also been weighing me down.

Soon, we’ll chat and catch up as she helps me sort through shelves and stuff I have been putting off instead of putting away… Cleaning and organizing is better with friends, right?!

I’m grateful that God meets us where we are…mess and all.

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God, thanks for not giving up on me! Thanks for making me new from the inside out. May my heart and life bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are ways that you take care of yourself (your soul)? How do you let God take care of you?

Tasks: Look for ways to revitalize your walk with Jesus. Look for Him in ordinary moments. Perhaps He has a surprise for you as you draw closer to Him!