My mom, Debbie, had what some people have called the face of an angel. Funny, I know! But several people have told me that lately, and Mom also heard that often. 😀 I suppose people think “cherub” when considering the unique shape of her face combined with her cheerful, sunny side! She looked so sweet and nice.
That said, Mom was often vocal about things that mattered to her. Not content just to talk, she often got involved, too! She volunteered at various places, including women’s shelters and pregnancy centers. She loved being hands-on.
For instance, Mom volunteered at our local schools for many years as a “mother helper,” even after her kids were out of those grades. Perhaps she was most passionate about listening to kids practice their reading. She patiently would help them “sound it out,” and she would call out their other strengths. In some ways, she was the parent they needed at the time. One boy struggled throughout school and did not seem to have much support at home. But, he always reminded himself that Mrs. Yeagle believed in him. As an adult, he later tracked Mom down to thank her for the difference she made in his life. He didn’t know how he would’ve made it otherwise.
Volunteering is good and nice—absolutely. Being community-focused is vital. But there is a difference between being nice and being kind.
Romans 2:4 explains that “the kindness of God leads us to repentance.” Mom demonstrated this whenever “Debbie Torpedo” came around. She wasn’t just nice, she was also kind. She spoke the truth in love so people would change. (Change doesn’t usually occur with badgering and belittling!)
Being nice is not a fruit of the Spirit, but kindness is! An example of being nice is complimenting someone. Kindness is letting them know they have a piece of spinach in their teeth. It is nice to greet someone on a hike. Kindness means telling them they are walking directly toward a tricky drop-off. They may still choose to proceed, but you warned them. More importantly, telling people about Jesus’ love and the consequences of sin can impact their eternity. It is worth the risk!
Mom often influenced other women as they parented their young children. When a mom caved at her child’s whining or temper tantrum, my mom would say, “You wouldn’t let me treat you that way. Why are you letting your three-year-old act like that? Be the parent.” Usually, the woman caught on and learned how to correct her child. Mom would coach her until she was confident, explaining that it is good for children to have boundaries.
The tough love approach can be intimidating sometimes. It takes a lot of courage to speak up! But Mom empowered these ladies to do what was needed. She showed them what they could be, and many of them thanked her later.
As a mother myself, I appreciate good advice. Thankfully, Mom didn’t have to tell me to “be the parent” specifically, but I have seen these situations fester. Over time, a child might stop being invited somewhere if they don’t behave well. This affects their future friendships and opportunities. A child that lacks discipline becomes a hindrance and a liability of sorts. Frankly, they are not fun to be around! So, my mom was doing a kindness in pointing that out to those who would listen.
Bottom line: Being nice is a good start. But niceness is not enough. We must also accept the challenge of being kind.
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God, thanks for Your lovingkindness. Thanks for loving us enough to correct us when we need it. Help us be wise with our words so we may be kind and draw people to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: What would it look like for you to speak with kindness today? What if God was only nice to us, not kind? (I find that to be a little scary!)
Tasks: Consider your words before speaking. Think through whether the situation calls for being nice or being kind. If you don’t know, ask the Lord to show you!
