Category: Journey of Grace

Perspective on our cancer journey

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

Regarding Lazarus

Last year I began scribing the Gospel of John with several friends. A handful of people have finished but I’m about halfway through. I recently completed John Chapter 11 word-for-word.

I stayed in Chapter 11 through the holidays. You could say I “sat” with Lazarus for about two weeks because I could relate…

Lazarus and his two sisters, Mary and Martha, were close friends of Jesus. They lived in Bethany, about two miles outside Jerusalem. Somehow, I had previously missed that small detail—Bethany was nearby.

Jesus received word that Lazarus was sick, but surprisingly He didn’t go there right away. In fact, He postponed his arrival for two days. By then, Lazarus was dead.

Now I don’t know about you, but a two-mile walk would take me around thirty minutes or less. It might take me longer if I stopped to chat or run another errand. But I could easily make it in an hour.

So why did Jesus delay? He could have easily just spoken from a distance and Lazarus would have been healed. Jesus did not procrastinate but stayed where He was on purpose. He knew the Father’s plan and He knew the final outcome.

To gain some insight, I re-read the story several times.

At one point it hit me: I could understand how Martha and Mary must’ve felt when they questioned Jesus. Perhaps they felt some sense of betrayal, anger, or abandonment… He was only 2 miles away. I’m sure they felt desperation and the pain of unbearable grief. IF ONLY Jesus had shown up, when they thought He should, things would’ve been different.

My paraphrase: “Lord, if you had been here, this would never have happened!!” We so easily question God with our limited understanding, but His ways are not our ways.

When Dave was sick, there were so many times when it felt like God wasn’t listening or wasn’t working on our behalf. Often, we prayed about a test or symptom only to have the opposite happen. It was very frustrating!

I know God never leaves us nor forsakes us, and He certainly did not betray me. But my feelings sometimes got the best of me…

Yet, because Jesus stayed put and didn’t rush, He was then able to explain that He is the Resurrection and the Life. He was able to do one final miracle, which pointed to His own death and resurrection. He was able to increase His followers’ faith. He was able to bring His Father glory. He was able to give us hope 2000+ years later as well.

A short while later, in John 12, Jesus once again hangs out with his friends, Mary, Martha, and the resurrected Lazarus. I bet they all rehashed what they had been through together.

I wonder what Lazarus thought about all of this. I’m sure he and his sisters were grateful to be able to understand God’s love for them in a more personal way.

Time for a quick disclaimer: Our Heavenly Father wants what is good for us and is eager that we should be whole and healthy. And while I do believe we should seek God’s healing, healing should not be our primary goal (in and of itself).

Healing is certainly wonderful, but it’s not the end-all be-all. (Hey, Lazarus died twice!)

To be clear, sickness is not from God, and it is important to take care of our bodies in whatever way we can. For example, healthy food, exercise, adequate sleep, stress reduction, medicine, prayer, and counseling are all good. Absolutely!

For some people, healing happens in an instant, but for others, it takes time. Unfortunately, when healing doesn’t come on our terms or in our timing, some people are lead to believe they don’t have enough faith. They can even feel ashamed of being unwell.

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

Judging someone else’s faith or experience is unfair and unkind... not to mention inaccurate. Let’s be careful not add to someone’s suffering or burden them with ‘if only’ scenarios. Instead, let’s offer grace and support.

Some of the godliest and most faith-filled people I know live with chronic pain or health issues. I admire them and learn so much from them! They’re tough!

Anyway, no matter what happens, whether God heals us on our terms or not, our sole focus should be on Jesus. How can He use us for His glory?

Just remember: God can use us in whatever condition we are... dead or alive!! 🙂

Jesus wept when He saw Lazarus’ tomb. It brought Jesus great sadness, and He told His disciples He was glad for their sake that He was not there when Lazarus died. But if He had “only” healed Lazarus, we ALL would have missed so much.

Lazarus was dead four days before being resurrected, which proves nothing is impossible for Jesus! If you need healing or another form of help, Jesus is able and willing! Trust Him!

Dave and I prayed for healing, yes. And though it came differently than expected, God was (and has been) ever-faithful. Dave received FULL healing when he went to Heaven. Thankfully, God has been healing my heart as well.

I am grateful that Jesus isn’t bound by my timeline (what I think He should do and when). I don’t have all the answers, but I do know God excels at bringing dead things to life. He resurrects and restores!

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Heavenly Father, You are so faithful. Thanks taking such good care of us. Help us trust You when we do not understand. In You, We have Victory! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your ‘Lazarus?’ What do you need God to resurrect or restore?

Tasks: Listen to “Still Rolling Stones,” by Lauren Daigle. Check out the Journibles here!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Procrastination, Travel, Wisdom

2018 Annual Review

Happy Boxing Day!! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. 😉

Lydia and I had our best Christmas yet! We really appreciated receiving some invitations to join others, but we ended up doing our own thing instead.

On Christmas Eve, we hosted another family from church. We enjoyed celebrating Jesus with them! We ate yummy food and had great conversation.

On Christmas Day, we enjoyed a relaxing breakfast and then opened presents. Lydia received several fun gifts, including some clothes, books, games, and science kits.

After that, we talked with some friends and family. We thought about going to the movies, but decided to go sledding instead. We had so much fun and even saw another family enjoying the chilly day. It was perfect.

Later, Lydia played with some of her new toys while I exercised. Then, we put together some bath goodies from one of the science kits. She’s never been so excited to take a bath! 😉

Finally, after a relaxing day, we watched a Christmas movie together. We have the rest of the week off as well, so I’m sure we will do some more fun activities!

This year flew by. Thankfully, it had more ups than downs. We saw God’s grace all around us in more ways than we can count. He is so faithful.

Lydia and I took some fun trips and spent time with loved ones. We stepped foot in at least 6 states. I’m grateful for my car and God’s protection and provision!

This year, we both pushed our limits and tried new things. Everything from recipes to outdoor Christmas lights. One highlight is that we went kayaking and Lydia loved it!

Lydia has done well in school and enjoys learning. My job is stable and I feel like I am making a difference. I’m so grateful for God’s blessings!

This year, I have felt humbled in many ways. I have become more aware of my flaws and all that I still need to learn. (Yes, I’m human!) 😉

I usually set a lot of goals, but didn’t meet most of them this year. I met my most important goals, but still left a lot on the table. In order to prioritize a big project, I kind of slacked off elsewhere! I made progress, but I also have a lot to finish or catch up!

Still, I have learned to accept God’s grace for my perceived failures and trust Him to lead me. I’m grateful I don’t have to be perfect. Jesus is My Righteousness!

I’ll probably set similar goals this year (haha, I can’t help it!). But I have learned to give myself grace and be more present day-to-day.

This year, I have challenged several fears head-on and moved forward anyway. Despite not meeting all of my goals, I have still grown as a person, and am happy with who I am becoming! 🙂

Thankfully, God’s mercies are new every day. I just have to stay focused on Jesus and walk with Him. Everything else will work out in due time!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for walking with us each and every day. Thanks for all the grace You’ve shown us this year. Redirect my path and help me stay focused as You make me more like Jesus. In His Name, Amen

Questions: What were the highlights of your year? What did you learn and how did you grow? What will you change going forward?

Tasks: Consider setting SMART goals for the new year. Don’t worry if it feels like ‘too much’ for you to accomplish. Trust Jesus to direct your path!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Wisdom

Fresh Eyes

It’s amazing at how much fear can cloud your vision…

Last Friday, I opted to have Lasik eye surgery to correct my double astigmatism. I’m so glad I did! I’m in awe at how my eyes are already working better in such short time.

I had thought about Lasik for a long time but never looked into it due to fear. There are risks with any surgery, but I didn’t want to risk my vision for an elective procedure!

About a year ago, some friends encouraged me to look into it. It took me forever to make an appointment, but thankfully, I was a candidate after all. I asked many questions and received solid answers at the free consultation.

To my surprise and great relief, I learned that blindness is associated with the retina and/or optic nerve in the back of the eye. Lasik affects only the outermost layer of the cornea (in the front). So the risks of this surgery are mostly related to possible infection (rare if you follow their guidelines).

For me, the long-term benefits and no hassle outweighed the short-term costs. I see it as an investment… My contacts were expensive, not to mention the costs of appointments and supplies. I’ll still need to see my eye doctor every year, but that’s normal!

An extra dose of courage combined with a little education brought me clarity. With prayer, I felt at peace and I decided to move forward.

I was both nervous and excited for the surgery. The actual procedure was a little freaky, but also really interesting! 🙂 They numbed my eyes and there was no pain, but I was still awake. I’m glad I challenged my fear and followed through.

I’m grateful God helped keep me calm because I had to stay still! I distracted myself during the surgery by reminding myself of His goodness and faithfulness. As I decided to “just go with it,” He took away all my fear.


Over the years, I’ve learned to trust Jesus more and more—though not because it’s been a smooth or clear path. Indeed, Life has not been easy, but the Lord has walked with me each step. I have seen His love and provision for me in big and small ways.

Because Jesus helped me through some of the worst years of my life (cancer and grief), I have grown past fear and have gained a new perspective. He set me free from fear, steadying me when I felt lost and couldn’t find my way forward.

Grief had to run its course, but in time, the Lord also gave me renewed purpose and vision.

Whatever you are facing in this season, I pray you’ll see your situation with fresh eyes. Jesus came to save us all, and He will make it right. Trust Him!

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Father God, thanks for keeping me safe and renewing my vision. Thanks for helping me conquer my fears. Help me continue to walk in Victory! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Is there something you’re afraid of currently? How can you trust God to move past it?

Tasks: Pray about any steps of faith you have been putting off. Then, choose to take the first step in defeating your fear!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Wisdom, Worship

Keep It Simple, Sweetheart

This Christmas season, like many people, I am trying to stay on top of my to-do list. At times, it is a little overwhelming, and yes, I could use more sleep! 🙂

But all things considered, this year feels different.

Instead of my heart feeling heavy with grief, I’m excited and coping well. Praise God!

Perhaps all those years of intense grief have been helpful after all because I have learned the art of doing less.

This year, I’ve been doing more of what makes me glad. With so many possibilities, I’ve decided to simplify.

When possible, I’ve opted out of stressful activities that don’t add to the holiday spirit. At the same time, I’ve tried new things, such as putting up outdoor Christmas lights!

Lydia and I have been enjoying Christmas music and holiday movies, decorating our tree, and sampling yummy treats! She has played in the mounds of snow with her friends, while I’ve enjoyed coffee dates with mine.

I’ve also opened my house to a handful of people who don’t have family nearby.

We have a list of fun winter activities that we would like to do, such as sledding and seeing holiday lights. As usual, Lydia’s excitement is contagious!

Thankfully, I’ve learned to appreciate rest and don’t have crazy expectations. I know my limitations and try not to overextend myself. I’m grateful for how far God has brought me and Lydia!

With all the hustle and bustle, it could be easy to forget Jesus, the reason we are celebrating in the first place! By staying present with Him, I can enjoy the true gift He is:

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace

Friend, if you are going through a tough season of grief, let me remind you of the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart. 🙂 There is no need to “fake brave.”

Grief looks different for all of us, and each year brings unique challenges. It does improve eventually, but all those emotions need to run their course so you can keep moving forward.

For now, do what you need to do—no more and no less. Whether that means showing up or staying home, ask God to direct your path and show you His goodness.

Look for the gift of God’s grace…. Jesus!! He is a wonderful savior and friend.

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Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus. What a precious gift! Be with those who are hurting this season. Show them just how much you love them and bring them peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What are your favorite Christmas traditions?

Tasks: Do something special for someone who needs encouragement this season. Pray with them, invite them over for dinner, help them decorate (or clean!), or listen to them talk of their loved one. Even a small act of kindness can mean so much to someone who is hurting.

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Worship

Florida Fun

Last night, Lydia and I returned from Jacksonville, Florida, where we visited my parents over Thanksgiving break. Additionally, my sister and brother-in-law flew in from Chicago to be with us. We all had a great time together!

Lydia didn’t mind missing two days of school (one day of traveling each way). We celebrated her birthday, and made lots of new memories!

(My little fashionista had a fabulous birthday!)

This past week, we fit in many fun activities. One evening, we went to ‘Catty Shack’ (a wildlife sanctuary) and saw lions, tigers, panthers and more. These animals were rescued or ‘retired’ from other places. They’re still considered wild though they all were born in captivity. We attended a ‘night feeding’ and saw massive tigers only a few feet away!

After lunch on Thanksgiving, we went to the beach at St. Augustine. We also saw The Castillo de San Marcos, which is the oldest masonry fort in the continental United States. The Spanish started building it in 1672. My dad and Lydia also rode on a little carousel. Later, we toured the downtown area. It was fun to see Christmas lights covering palm trees!

(@ Ponce Inlet Jetty off Daytona Beach)

During our stay, we went to three different beaches! We saw the Atlantic Ocean in St. Augustine, Jacksonville, and Daytona. Lydia, especially, had so much fun. She shrieked with delight as we waded in the waves. Each day, the weather and waves were unique.

It was amazing to see God’s handiwork. Whether the waves were calm or roaring, they were mesmerizing and reminded me of His creative power, beauty, and love! What an awesome God He is! Sometimes His love is soothing and sometimes it is wildly fierce.


(This decorated sail boat on the boat parade goes well with the skyline!)

On Saturday, we went downtown to the annual holiday light boat parade. We sat right next to the water, across from Jacksonville Landing and the blue Main Street Bridge. We saw approximately sixty boats decorated with everything from nativity sets, Santa Claus, hula girls, snowmen, and alligators. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen!

The boat parade took place on the St. Johns River, which happens to be Florida’s longest river at 310 miles long. To top it off, we watched fireworks from two barges, and also fireworks that cascaded off two bridges like a waterfall!

(This blue heron flew in right in front of us for a photo op during the boat parade!)

On Monday, we drove an hour and a half down to Daytona. My mom showed us around and we even drove past the birthplace of NASCAR and the Daytona 500! Then, we met up with a dear friend, Jody, for a fun afternoon. We ate lunch on the shore of the Halifax River (a part of the intercoastal waterway) and fed some birds. Next, we went to Daytona beach and walked on some large rocks jutting out into the ocean. Then we enjoyed ice cream at a specialty store, Zeno’s, which is a local favorite. Yum!

(Halifax River and a shrimp boat)

Sometimes I get nervous about the travel details, especially when flying. I pray my luggage doesn’t get lost and that our flights go smoothly. Well, once again, I felt God’s grace because on Sunday, the blizzard that hit much of the Midwest avoided Fargo and Minneapolis. Even yesterday, some flights to other areas were not running. But thankfully, we had perfect weather and no issues. Praise God!

When I booked our flights months ago, I prayerfully chose what worked best for us. I would not have guessed a blizzard would hit during our trip, yet God graciously protected us from the brunt of it. Yesterday’s three flights arrived early each time!

(nighttime view over Minneapolis)

I always enjoy seeing God at work around me. On our first flight yesterday, I was able to encourage an older lady who had just lost her husband. She spent her first Thanksgiving as a widow, after 60 years of marriage, and was now returning to Atlanta. I told her I understood how difficult the holidays can be and was able to share a little of my story with her. She said she had been feeling sorry for herself, but was grateful for my perspective.

This trip was just what we needed. I’m sure we’ll have to plan another one soon because there is still so much we didn’t do! Special thanks to our friends who drove us to and from the airport… and watched over our house while we were gone.

Now, it’s back to our normal routine…

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God, thanks for the gift of family! Thanks for keeping us safe and for refreshing us. You are so good! May we refresh others with Your grace. All glory to You! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How was your Thanksgiving? Do you have any trips planned to see family?

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting

A Birthday Bonus

This week, we are celebrating Lydia’s birthday and Thanksgiving! BONUS!! For me, it is no coincidence that Lydia was born the week of Thanksgiving.

Lydia is surely my greatest blessing. She constantly keeps me moving forward as I want to be my best for her. I am forever grateful God gave me her!

Over the last several years, I have learned many lessons just by being a parent. One of the biggest things I have seen lately is the importance of child-like faith.

Lydia has many questions about God and life in general. She eagerly seeks answers, but is always quick to give the benefit of the doubt.

While she does not understand ‘everything’ just yet, Lydia acknowledges that the issue is on her end, not God’s. She realizes that the answers probably exist, she simply has not found them yet…

That doesn’t stop her from reading, asking, and learning all she can! Trust me, she is quite persistent!

Lydia helps me find joy in the present. Children don’t dwell on the past for long. Mistakes are easily forgotten and grace is readily accepted! Seeing Lydia forgive herself helps me remember to do the same.

Similarly, Lydia is always looking forward to whatever is coming next. In her excitement for the future, Lydia shows simple faith and pure hope in what God can do. She doesn’t let troubles phase her. She just trusts that God can take care of it.

Naturally, it’s not always peachy-keen around our house. We certainly have tense moments and meltdowns (both of us!).

But even then, I can be grateful. God has led us this far and He is not done with us yet! It’s an honor and privilege to work with God in shaping Lydia’s young life. I love who she is becoming!

Happy Birthday, Lydia! Many happy returns of the day… I love you!!

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Heavenly Father, thank you for Lydia! Bless her, protect her, and let her grow in wisdom and favor. Help me be the best mom I can be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are you thankful for?

Posted on in Being Gracious, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

A Caution on Countdowns

This has been an interesting autumn so far! First, we had snow on October 10th which melted away. Then, we had flurries a few days last week, followed by drifting from the wind. I’ve had to shovel snow several times already. It could be a long season…

In Fargo, the potential for snow lasts from October until early May some years. Even if the calendar says spring, it can feel like winter! It’s important to manage expectations, ha!

Honestly, shoveling snow makes my shoulders ache. I do use my snowblower when necessary, but sometimes shoveling is the best option. Let’s just say that for me, snow removal is still a good opportunity for “character refinement.”

As such, I choose to reframe the situation from time-to-time… On those early, blustery mornings, I remind myself to be grateful. For instance, I am thankful for the tools and warm clothes I have acquired over the years to make the process easier. I’m also grateful for my physical health and the ability to take care of all God has given me.

I am thankful for yoga and shoulder stretches which help to somewhat ease the pain. And, I am really grateful for a reliable vehicle with all-wheel-drive to help me get around.

To my surprise, on social media, I’ve already seen a few people counting down the days until spring! But it’s not even Thanksgiving yet!

Apparently, there are around 126 days until March 20th of 2019 (the first day of spring). Perhaps I am the only person to feel this way, but I don’t appreciate these types of countdowns… they tend to mess with my attitude, if I let them.

Don’t get me wrong—I respect that some people love the heat and hate the cold. I get it… To each their own! Even in our differences, I hope we can still be friends! 🙂

In my case, I like spring and summer, but I also enjoy autumn and winter. For me, it is important to celebrate—instead of complain about—each season as God brings it.

(PLEASE remind me of this in late February when my shoulders have had it! Deal?!)

My feeling is that if we were to skip ahead to our ‘favorite seasons,’ we would miss so much. Sure, the grass is always greener in someone else’s yard, but for me the solution is not to countdown to spring. Wishful thinking won’t make winter pass any faster. And, I don’t want discontent to sidetrack me from what God is doing in my own yard or life.

Before we go much further, let me fully disclose that I have already been watching Christmas movies on Netflix! LOL, to each their own, right?

Getting into the ‘holiday spirit’ is full of meaning for me this year, because while this is our 6th holiday season without Dave, it is the first one where I don’t have mixed emotions.

Truthfully, for several years after Dave died, I dreaded the holidays. I really did want to skip the entire season. The holidays were just too painful.

But, I am so glad I didn’t rush through the pain. From a grief perspective, I needed to go through each stage of processing my emotions. I couldn’t ‘skip it’ and still be healthy…

Through each difficult and unpleasant season of life and grief, I have understood a new level of God’s grace and faithfulness. He has brought me through it all with His love and strength! I’m eternally grateful for His kindness to me!

There is a big difference between anticipation and apprehension. One fills me with eagerness and the other expects the worst. One fills me with hope and joy and the other fills me with a sense of dread. It has to do with attitude…

To clarify, not all countdowns are bad. Planning is important, and if a countdown truly brings you joy, great! Technically, a timer on an oven is a type of countdown that may bring you joy… yum!

Rocket ships need a countdown before launching into space. Also, parents of young children may benefit from counting down the minutes before bed time.

In my house… Lydia has been counting down her birthday for several weeks. She hasn’t counted the days, but she does cross the days off her calendar each night. She is SO excited!

My point is to consider the reason for the countdown and your attitude. The takeaway is this: Does it fill you with a sense of God’s grace or a sense of grrr?? 😉

Don’t take for granted what God has given you: time with loved ones, peace in the moment, His presence. His grace is sufficient for this day, so let’s be grateful!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for being so generous and gracious. Don’t let me get ahead of you or be ungrateful. Help me rely on You each day. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: If you are always racing to the next moment or event, what might you be missing? What other countdowns do you find helpful?

Tasks: Looking ahead can be either helpful or harmful. Consider whether it brings you anticipation or apprehension. Then, readjust. Go with God!

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Worship

Wake Up and Worship!

I don’t know about you, but my morning mood can impact my entire day. There are days when I wake up peaceful and rested. But sometimes, I wake up groggy and distracted.

Either way, within minutes I’m usually thinking of all I have to do that day. Sometimes my schedule is relaxed and at other times, I have less flexibility.

Often, changes in my schedule can throw me off my routine and influence my mood—if I let them. It is my choice to adjust my attitude or not!

A few years ago, in the midst of deep grief, it was difficult to find much motivation to rise early, let alone actually accomplish anything. That was perhaps par-for-the-course…understandable.

But praise God, these days I feel like I am mostly back to myself! Now, I’m trying to be more proactive. Life is short and I don’t want to waste my time!

As such, I’ve been slowly chipping away at my morning routine. I want to develop good, sustainable habits that don’t get altered too much with visitors, traveling, holidays, meetings, etc. You know how it goes!

It’s something I’ve been working on for years, but have not always been consistent. Then I have to start over… I’m a work in progress!

It’s generally good to have something to look forward to each morning—especially when you rise before the sun. Why not wake up and worship Jesus?!

Recently, I discovered how to make a playlist on YouTube. I didn’t realize how easy it was!

So, I have collected several morning-themed songs to encourage myself and help me put on my ‘game face.’ I also have a playlist for songs dealing with fear, and one for calming me down (as needed, ha!).

Currently, I have added “Good Morning” by Mandisa; “Happy” by Pharell Williams; “Your Love Awakens Me” by Phil Wickham; this song, and a few TobyMac songs.

I just add them as I hear them or think of them.

Yesterday, I had a little extra time before leaving for work, and I just enjoyed worshiping God and finding songs to add to my playlists. I left feeling so uplifted and grateful for the day ahead!

God’s mercies are new every morning. He is so generous and fills our ‘cup’ to abundance. He loves us so much!

Starting off with Jesus sets my whole day in order. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to praise Him and receive His goodness. Worship Him early and often!

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God, thank You for the gift of music! May the morning bring us word of Your unfailing love. Please direct our path as we put our trust and hope in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you have any early morning songs that get you out of bed? I’d love to build my list!

Tasks: Consider making a morning worship playlist. Listen while you exercise or get ready for your day! (You might need headphones if the rest of your household is still sleeping!) 🙂

 

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Wisdom

Counting Every Blessing

It’s that time of year again! Lydia started school this week! She has been so excited for about a month. She could hardly sleep on Monday night… Tuesday, she started a new school and was happy to see her friends.

I’m proud of Lydia for all the ways she’s already grown. She’s been challenging herself to try new things and be more independent. Her dad, my late-husband, Dave, would also be so very proud.

I have been purposely relying on the Lord as we start this new season. As such, I haven’t really thought much about the bittersweet nature of our circumstances. Still, this week is one of those times when it is apparent: Dave’s not here.

Lydia’s teacher seems really sweet. She’s a first-year teacher and full of excitement, too. When we met her, I didn’t want to burst her bubble… so, I simply wrote her a short explanation about Dave on Lydia’s back to school papers.

Yesterday, after Lydia got off the bus, we went home and talked about her day over a scoop of ice cream. She had a fun day, of course, and I know she will have a great year.

To my surprise, Lydia said she was glad I didn’t mention Dave to her teacher in person. Specifically, she said, “I’m glad you didn’t cry like you did last year.”  (and the year before…) I might have embarrassed her previously!

Truthfully, I’m happy Lydia seems unaffected, but it makes me slightly sad. I have tried to ensure that she knows who Dave was and that he loved her very much. I want her to be able to talk about him whenever she feels the need. I want her to be okay with it.

But instead of feeling sorry for myself (and Lydia), I decided to count my blessings!

First, I’m grateful for Lydia! She’s always a bright spot and has kept me moving forward. I love to coach her and watch her grow. I don’t know where I’d be without her!

I’m grateful Lydia and I can have honest, heartfelt conversations about tough topics. We have had many ups and downs, which has made it interesting!

I’m also grateful Lydia is so much like Dave. She doesn’t overthink things like I do! She is pragmatic like Dave and has a good perspective. Though, she is like me in lots of other ways.

I’m grateful for how well Dave set us up. Because of his planning and God’s provision, Lydia and I are in a good position. I have no reason to complain!

I’m extremely grateful that each year, we’ve reached new levels of healing. We think of and talk about Dave often, but we are still living a full life in spite of our loss(es).

I’m grateful for so many things, actually. But most of all, I’m grateful that God’s still holding us together. He has brought us this far and we are doing well.

I can trust Him with confidence. He’s got this!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good! Thanks for taking such great care of us. Open our eyes to each of Your blessings and help us trust You more in this new season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you find yourself in a new season of life? Have you been expecting it or did it take you by surprise?

Tasks: Listen to this song, “Counting Every Blessing,” by Rend Collective! It’s so good!

Posted on in Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Worship

Hymns Bring Hope

On Sunday afternoon, Lydia and I had the opportunity to attend a special event. We were invited to a concert highlighting old hymns and the stories behind them.

This was likely Lydia’s first real worship experience that included only hymns. So, I didn’t have much expectation beyond introducing her to the music. Thankfully, she recognized a few tunes, like “Amazing Grace.”

I also pointed out two of the songs we sang at my late-husband Dave’s funeral: “Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus” and “It is Well with My Soul.”

Hymns are unique when compared to modern worship songs because even when illiterate people couldn’t read about God’s love, they could still learn about Him through hymns. Many of the hymns were written out of such heart-wrenching circumstances. The messages about God are timeless because we all go through difficult trials.

During the service on Sunday, the audience was asked to raise their hands if they could relate to the lyrics—if they or someone they know are going through hard times.

Most of us raised our hands… because who doesn’t have problems?!

Lydia was a little restless, and she whispered to me, “Mom, should I raise my hand, too?”

Somewhat surprised, I quietly asked, “Well, you could if you want, but why do you think you should raise your hand?”

Lydia whispered back, “Because of my dad.”

In that moment, I felt a twinge of sadness and awe. It was bittersweet for me…but I was interested in the reason for Lydia’s question. On the one hand, the fact that she even had to ask almost did me in!

But I was also filled with immense gratitude that Lydia doesn’t fathom the depth of pain many of us faced when Dave died. God has protected her from the brunt of it all.

Of course, Lydia is also fairly new to the idea of hymns. Still, I was amazed she connected with what was going on. That’s God’s power working in her heart through the music!

God has done such a good job of bringing us through with Victory. It hasn’t been easy, but He has been faithful. He has never let us down. So, when I sing songs like, “Great is Thy Faithfulness,” I can’t help but praise Him!

Our collective spiritual heritage is invaluable! Old hymns like “How Great Thou Art” highlight God’s Majesty. These songs help put our problems in perspective and remind of us the hope we have in Jesus.

People all over the world identify with the classic hymns. They have been around for hundreds of years and still bring God’s comfort to us!

With “Blessed Assurance,” we can trust Jesus. He is a kind friend, a gracious savior, and an ever-present help in time of need. Indeed, “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” and we have “Victory in Jesus!” Praise the Lord!

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Heavenly Father, I exalt You! Your faithfulness reaches to the skies! Thank You for all You have done for me. You are so good! Be honored, In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What are your favorite hymns?

Tasks: Click on some of the hymns above read the lyrics and/or listen to them. (There are a variety of music styles represented.) Take note of what God puts on your heart.