Moving Past Fear, Anxiety, and Worry

Last week, I started a small group Bible study for ladies, called Facing Fear, Finding Faith. We use a workbook and Scripture to discuss Biblical coping methods for facing fear, anxiety, and worry. It takes what we know from clinical psychology and combines it with God’s word. A powerful double whammy!

I am the facilitator for my group, which meets at my house, but we all have opportunities to share ideas with each other. I am looking forward to growing with these ladies!

For the purposes of our study, fear, anxiety, and worry are treated the same. But, the definitions provided in the workbook are listed separately. (source, page 2)

Fear: The cause of the threat is known, and is based in reality.

Anxiety: The threat is unknown. Because the individual cannot pinpoint the source of threat, an overall uneasy feeling of dread results.

Worry: The threat may be known or unknown. The individual is consumed with a nagging, excessive concern.

As I prepared to lead the group, I spent a lot of my time considering how each of these has impacted me. To my surprise, what I generally have always categorized as generalized fear, could actually be anxiety or worry.

Additionally, not all fears are negative. Some fears are healthy and keep us safe. There is a rational component, such as not touching a hot stove because you’d get burned. In this case, fear seems fairly relatable. Anyone could be afraid of a known threat based in reality.

The workbook, however, is more focused on the overwhelming and unhelpful side of fear. The problem occurs when fear stops you from being bold and living a full life.

Taking my hot stove example to the extreme, you might never cook anything at all or avoid the entire kitchen for fear of a hot stove. Then, it becomes irrational or life-controlling.

Surprisingly, I relate more to anxiety than I previously would have guessed. At times, I can get kind of jittery inside, yet it takes me a while to understand what is causing me to be agitated. Just even pausing and becoming more aware has helped!

For me, worry boils down to focusing on something so much I neglect other thoughts or tasks. I can get so stuck in my head sometimes! 🙂

So why am I explaining this to you?

Well, for one thing, week one of this study was eye-opening to me because I thought I just struggled with fear—but didn’t understand the role anxiety and worry played.

I already feel a million times more at peace, just by distinguishing the different factors at work. I’m excited as I prepare for week two!

Plus, by identifying the problem, I can quickly take it to Jesus and let Him help me. He is the Light of the World and displaces all fear and darkness! Praise God!

Unwittingly, fear used to be my default. I didn’t even truly realize it until my late-husband Dave got diagnosed with cancer. Then, God taught me how to deal with my fear.

It wasn’t fun, simple, or pretty—but I am so grateful.

Finally, I know many other people deal with these types of issues too. No one should have to deal with fear, anxiety, or worry alone. My hope is this will be a prompt to get some help, professional or otherwise, and break free from fear, anxiety, and worry.

Don’t give up!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for setting me free from fear. Thank You that I don’t have to be afraid. Help me walk in your power and strength. Renew my mind and show me new ways to keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you deal with fear, anxiety, or worry? One…or all three?

Tasks: First, consider asking a counselor or trusted friend (or both!) for help.

Second, listen to “The Way (New Horizons)”  by Pat Barrett. It always reminds me of God’s goodness and redirects my focus back to Jesus. I love the lyrics:

“It’s a new horizon and I’m set on You
And You meet me here today with mercies that are new
All my fears and doubts, they can all come too
Because they can’t stay long when I’m here with You”

Pray and Push Through

I have noticed a theme in my life lately: God is calling me to pray and push through. Keep on keeping on.

Life is certainly crazy at times, but despite the ups and downs, I need to persevere. I may not always see what God is doing, but I need to hang on tight to Jesus!

Change can be a two-edged sword. Sometimes, it seems change will never come. Bored, I can’t stand to bide my time. Then, when abrupt change does happen, I want things to return to the way they were! (I can be so fickle!)

Similarly, perhaps you find yourself in an impossible situation that looks like it will never change. Perhaps what you were hoping for hasn’t come to pass. Or, perhaps life just looks so different… certainly not what you expected.

Maybe it feels like only an ‘act of God’ will bring what you desire! It’s easy to feel down when it seems He is not listening to your cries for help. But, there is hope. Don’t give up!

The good news is that God always hears us and answers each of our prayers. He just may not answer how we want. God answers our prayers in three ways: Yes, No, or Not Yet.

Instead of trying to figure out how to make what we want happen, we can choose to trust God and His timing. God won’t give us anything less than His best.

He already gave us Jesus, His greatest gift—everything else is just gravy!

It’s a relief knowing God hears me and has good plans for me.

Even if God says No—or makes me wait it out—I am grateful I don’t have to make the final decision. I just have to be faithful and do what He has asked me to do.

I can praise God while I am waiting (and still hoping) but also know if it is ultimately a No, then He has something even better in store. Waiting on God is a win-win!

What joy! I can’t go wrong!

“God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him.” –Jim Elliot

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Father God, You are so good! Thanks for always giving me Your best. Help me trust You more as I wait. By Your grace and power, I won’t give up! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you holding onto a dream that seems beyond you? Are you tempted to walk away from it? Could it be that God wants you to press in closer to Him?

Tasks: Read The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. Listen to “The Way” by Pat Barrett.

Counting Every Blessing

It’s that time of year again! Lydia started school this week! She has been so excited for about a month. She could hardly sleep on Monday night… Tuesday, she started a new school and was happy to see her friends.

I’m proud of Lydia for all the ways she’s already grown. She’s been challenging herself to try new things and be more independent. Her dad, my late-husband, Dave, would also be so very proud.

I have been purposely relying on the Lord as we start this new season. As such, I haven’t really thought much about the bittersweet nature of our circumstances. Still, this week is one of those times when it is apparent: Dave’s not here.

Lydia’s teacher seems really sweet. She’s a first-year teacher and full of excitement, too. When we met her, I didn’t want to burst her bubble… so, I simply wrote her a short explanation about Dave on Lydia’s back to school papers.

Yesterday, after Lydia got off the bus, we went home and talked about her day over a scoop of ice cream. She had a fun day, of course, and I know she will have a great year.

To my surprise, Lydia said she was glad I didn’t mention Dave to her teacher in person. Specifically, she said, “I’m glad you didn’t cry like you did last year.”  (and the year before…) I might have embarrassed her previously!

Truthfully, I’m happy Lydia seems unaffected, but it makes me slightly sad. I have tried to ensure that she knows who Dave was and that he loved her very much. I want her to be able to talk about him whenever she feels the need. I want her to be okay with it.

But instead of feeling sorry for myself (and Lydia), I decided to count my blessings!

First, I’m grateful for Lydia! She’s always a bright spot and has kept me moving forward. I love to coach her and watch her grow. I don’t know where I’d be without her!

I’m grateful Lydia and I can have honest, heartfelt conversations about tough topics. We have had many ups and downs, which has made it interesting!

I’m also grateful Lydia is so much like Dave. She doesn’t overthink things like I do! She is pragmatic like Dave and has a good perspective. Though, she is like me in lots of other ways.

I’m grateful for how well Dave set us up. Because of his planning and God’s provision, Lydia and I are in a good position. I have no reason to complain!

I’m extremely grateful that each year, we’ve reached new levels of healing. We think of and talk about Dave often, but we are still living a full life in spite of our loss(es).

I’m grateful for so many things, actually. But most of all, I’m grateful that God’s still holding us together. He has brought us this far and we are doing well.

I can trust Him with confidence. He’s got this!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good! Thanks for taking such great care of us. Open our eyes to each of Your blessings and help us trust You more in this new season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you find yourself in a new season of life? Have you been expecting it or did it take you by surprise?

Tasks: Listen to this song, “Counting Every Blessing,” by Rend Collective! It’s so good!

A Smoother Ride

Last week, Lydia and I took a short bike ride to a park in our neighborhood. Most of the time, I let her ride before me because I am faster and don’t want to leave her too far behind. Lydia set the pace, but I directed her and chose which path to take.

As we rode along, it was so peaceful. It was just me and Lydia in the evening heat. We chatted about our day and fun things we plan to do before school starts again next week. At times, we would stop and wait for cars to pass before continuing on our way.

During our ride, I decided to take Lydia to a smaller more secluded park than the one we originally planned. She hadn’t been to this park before and didn’t know the way.

So, I told her, “I’m going to come up on your left and when we get to the intersection, you follow me. We’re going to cross these two streets instead of staying on this path.”

As we got to the other side of the intersection, I stayed back in the street and let Lydia go ahead of me. She asked why I chose to do that, and I told her I was blocking her from any traffic that might come up.

I had noticed a car waiting for us at the stop sign and wanted to protect her. At least the driver could see me in the middle of the road…

Lydia did so well as she listened and followed. Our bike ride was a compelling picture of how God leads us and directs us through life. Everything goes so much better when we just trust Jesus!

That doesn’t mean it’s always an easy ride. For example, as we crossed through the intersection, Lydia had to speed up and go uphill. She had to work a bit to get where she needed to go.

Life is indeed challenging. Circumstances may turn out differently than expected and there will be some bumps along the way. But at the end of the day, it’s just me and Jesus.

He is the one constant in my life! Ultimately, He is in control. Did I stay close to Him? Did I wait for Him? Did I listen and obey Him?

Thankfully, with Jesus, all things are possible. He protects us, provides for us, and directs our path. When we follow Him, it’s a much smoother ride!

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God, thanks for all the ways You love us. Thanks for guiding us as we follow You. Help us listen and trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you have anything left on your summer bucket list?

Task: Listen to “Control (Somehow You Want Me)” by Tenth Avenue North

Finding Grace #128

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a great birthday week! The week went by quickly with work and daycare, and then, my mother-in-law came to visit. We also received notice of who Lydia’s teacher will be this year in school. Our time is short before it all starts, so I am glad we had a fun week!

On Thursday, Lydia and I met a friend for coffee. We had such a good conversation that we totally lost track of time. We spent about three hours chatting, but it was really fun and encouraging. I love how we can each share what God is doing in our lives. We build each other up and then bless others with the overflow!

My mother-in-law came to visit this weekend! Today, we went to Barnes & Noble for a special reading day about dinosaurs and saw three paleontologists. All three ladies shared about their experiences, passed around a couple of heavy (petrified) dinosaur bones. They shared cool dinosaur facts and answered our questions. Then, we went to a local farmer’s market, Sandy’s Donuts, Kohls, and visited a newer park a little south of us.

It’s been a great week! Thank You, Jesus!!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did you find God’s grace this week?

It’s Good to be Alive!

This past Sunday, I celebrated my birthday! I talked with my family and heard from several other people throughout the day. It was a fun day, which included church, lunch with friends, and chatting with neighbors. I also have a few other special things planned in the next couple weeks. (I like to take full advantage of birthday month!)

Since Lydia was sick on Saturday, I wasn’t sure we’d make it to church on Sunday. Thankfully, she woke up healthy and cheerful, so off to church we went.

For me, birthdays are always a time to reflect on the previous year and respond to new opportunities before me. Worshipping God with other believers on my birthday was extra special. Yet, as I took it all in, I understood that it wasn’t about me. Instead, celebrating God was my focus… I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Him!

During worship, I noticed that several songs mentioned the word “alive.” As we sang, I thought about how God knew the very moment I would be born. He planned each of my days before one of them came to pass. He formed every detail of my body according to the good work He has for me to do (Psalm 139, Ephesians 2:10).

And as I pondered being alive and living for God, something else occurred to me.
No matter who else has been or is currently in my life, it really has always been just me and God. He is the one constant person in my life. (Though my family is a close second!) He is faithful and reliable. He never leaves me nor lets me down.

There is comfort in God’s constancy. I can trust Him, knowing He is for me and not against me. He always has my good in mind (even if I don’t understand it). Regardless of how I feel or think, He always gives me His best!

Often, circumstances look differently than we expected. Life has a way of feeling upside-down about half the time! But, just because life may not make sense, that doesn’t mean God isn’t present working it all out behind the scenes.

Many times, I need a little personal pep-talk to remind me of all that is good in my life. It’s easy to lose hope if I just focus on what I see in front of me. On the other hand, if I keep my eyes on Jesus—and Who He is—I will have peace and joy in the midst of trials. He is above all the chaos, yet is right with me in it.

It is useless to put my hope or trust in anything or anyone other than Jesus! He sees the end from the beginning. He knows the way because He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Jesus is the first and the last and surrounds me like a shield. I am covered in grace!

God’s plans and promises for me will surely come to pass—He always keeps His word. Jesus will never stop loving me. His love never fails!

Life is short, but it is a gift. With Jesus, nothing is impossible. I can expect good things. Praise God, it’s good to be alive!!

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God, thanks for bringing me through another year! Thanks for all You have done for me and with me and through me. I’m excited for all You have in store for me this coming year! All glory to You! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Question: Can you see God’s faithfulness over the last few months or year?

Task: Listen to this song: “Never Been A Moment” by Micah Tyler. Praise God!

Shredding Inadequacy and Indifference

This past Sunday, I was feeling a little blah (aka unmotivated and indifferent). I was also feeling inadequate. I’m sure there are several reasons, including needing to do a lot of housework, while running short on sleep and exercise.

On Sunday, it all was weighing me down because I have struggled to find a good routine lately and have not been meeting my personal goals.

So, on the way to church, I prayed to refocus on God and asked Him to make me a blessing to others at the morning service. Then, I heard a song that spoke to what I was feeling. Every moment can be used to worship God no matter what we are feeling.

Sad, bad, mad, glad, or blah…take it to Jesus!

Ironically, that day the pastor’s sermon was similar. The message was about reclaiming our soul (our mind, will, and emotions) from the world’s influences. We can easily get drained or lose sight of who we are in Christ if we don’t keep things in check.

I felt convicted that I need to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s nudgeshumbling in a good way. I was also challenged because often I get stuck in a cycle of performance. Sometimes, I try to reach goals on my own, forgetting to rely on Jesus and what really matters.

It’s not all just paying bills, dishes, laundry, parenting and work. For me, it can also include too much social media times and games, or even too much reading. These activities are fine by themselves, but can be major distractions at times.

Quite possibly, my biggest soul killer can be too much thinking (daydreaming, problem solving, planning, or worrying about things I can’t control). I happen to enjoy thinking quite a bit, but want to make sure my thoughts are God-centered and not self-centered or fear-promoting.

On Monday, Lydia and I took my paper shredder to an office store. Random, I know, but mine was jammed—and had been for at least a month or two. (Yes, I also have been ignoring my to-be-shredded pile for far too long!) With a little nudge from God, I finally decided to ask for help with it.

Well, my shredder was beyond repair so I opted to buy a new one. I didn’t really want to spend more money, as I had recently been to that same store three other times (including for school and office supplies).

To my surprise, I found a floor model that was a major upgrade from my old shredder for about 75% off the original cost. This model was about the same cost as the tiniest shredder on the shelf. And, it was so big it took up the almost the entire cart!

In that moment, I felt God’s grace and love because He knew just what I needed. I had wanted a bigger shredder so I don’t have to empty the other one as fast. But I hadn’t planned to buy one because of the cost.

Thus, it felt like a blessing to get such a deal on this giant new shredder—like God hand-picked it for me! I’m grateful I didn’t miss what He wanted to do for me. Acknowledging God’s presence encouraged me and reenergized me!

Even something as trivial as a paper shredder can be a tool God uses to draw us closer to Him. It also felt like a positive step in tackling my messy office floor! Quite a few unruly piles of paper have accumulated over time!

Later, in another moment of brave humility (is that a thing?), I felt motivated to ask a friend for help. I need some accountability! She gladly agreed to come help me go through some boxes and clutter that have also been weighing me down.

Soon, we’ll chat and catch up as she helps me sort through shelves and stuff I have been putting off instead of putting away… Cleaning and organizing is better with friends, right?!

I’m grateful that God meets us where we are…mess and all.

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God, thanks for not giving up on me! Thanks for making me new from the inside out. May my heart and life bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are ways that you take care of yourself (your soul)? How do you let God take care of you?

Tasks: Look for ways to revitalize your walk with Jesus. Look for Him in ordinary moments. Perhaps He has a surprise for you as you draw closer to Him!

 

Finding Grace #125

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was a little crazy at first, but I felt God’s grace and direction even more! On Sunday, Lydia and I went to a campfire/potluck with some friends from church. We enjoyed a relaxing evening and fellowship. I’m so glad we went.

Then, I hurried to clean, fold laundry, pay bills, work, and pack for a ‘little’ road trip. We went to a family reunion in Michigan and also stopped along the way to see friends! The drive through the gorgeous Upper Peninisula (UP) was fairly relaxing and for once I didn’t have every detail planned. 🙂

On our trip, we saw three of the five Great Lakes! Superior, Huron, and Michigan. We even crossed the iconic Mackinac Bridge! (It is a five mile long suspension bridge.) We mapped out a few fun events along the way, but decided to skip them due to light rain on those days and timing. We were excited to hurry and see family and friends instead!

Once again, this week’s road trip provided a gracious timeout from daily life. I’m grateful for all the time we get to spend with loved ones. Thank You, Jesus!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did you find God’s grace this week?

Book Review: Joni & Ken

This summer, I have been reading several memoirs, many of them related to faith or medical issues. Recently a friend loaned me a book called Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story and I have finally gotten around to reading it.

I have a large ‘to be read’ pile, but I could barely put this book down!

I was somewhat familiar with Joni Eareckson Tada’s story, of how she broke her neck in a diving accident as a teen and has been a quadriplegic ever since. However, I had no idea all that she has been through or how she and her husband make their marriage work.

The book highlights each of their struggles—and how they haven’t given up. Joni has been dealing with intense chronic pain for many years even without true feeling in her limbs. Pain medication barely takes the edge off. She also has had broken bones, pressure ulcers, severe pneumonia, and even breast cancer.

Ken, as a caregiver, has his own challenges that require perseverance. He has also had to take a backseat to his wife’s fame. As a result, Joni and Ken’s marriage has been tested and refined… Yet, these experiences have grown their relationship. Furthermore, they have been able to advocate for other people with disabilities.

I really appreciate—and recommend—this book because it was very real with no pretense. Life is not peachy all the time. Yet, this story proves that suffering can serve to draw us closer to Jesus. Indeed, God has been faithful to see the Tadas through.

Each of us has our own troubles that can define us or refine us. We have the choice whether to give up or give it to God. We can choose to stop in our tracks when life gets tough, or we can choose to move forward even when we don’t see where we are going.

We can trust Jesus because He never lets us down!

Each time I read or hear a story documenting God’s grace, goodness, and faithfulness in the midst of uncertainty, it makes me trust Him more for the outcome of my story too. Whatever you are facing today, know God loves You—He is for you and with you!

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God, thanks for writing our stories with grace and love. You are so kind and good—the best is yet to come! Help us trust You with the details. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you familiar with Joni Eareckson Tada? Watch this video! What good books have you read lately?

Tasks: Consider how you can be a blessing to someone with ongoing needs—medical or otherwise. Even just a little encouragement can be a good start!

Thankful for Answered Prayers

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been watching the international news—not for all the usual drama—but in regards to the Thai soccer team that was trapped in a cave two miles underground.

Like many people, I prayed for God to hold back the rain, for wisdom on how to save the boys, and for the rescue efforts to succeed. Yesterday, I saw an article which quoted the Thai Navy Seals site, “We are not sure if this is a miracle, or science, or what” that saved the boys.

My first thought after reading that quote was, why not both? God certainly answered my prayers and those of people all around the world…and science was one factor (not to mention the cooperation and bravery of each person on the rescue mission).

I’m not sure I want to go spelunking anytime soon… the total darkness alone would be horrifying. Having no sense of time would be disorienting. Also, the separation from loved ones, decreasing oxygen, and lack of food would be awful to endure

I’m glad a doctor and some Thai Navy Seals stayed in the cave for eight days with the team tending to them and preparing them for the journey out. What a picture of God’s love!

Jesus stays with us, teaches us, tends to our needs, provides for us, and leads us out of the darkness into His glorious light. What a Savior and Friend!

Yesterday, while I was praising God for answering our collective prayers and for rescuing the team and coach, I heard something on the radio that jived with what I was thinking.

Basically, the host mentioned how God works through prayer—and so (in some ways) we are a product of other people praying for us. How cool! The host went on to remind the listeners that each of us is called to pray for others, even if we never meet them in person.

I really enjoy learning about different cultures, which includes different religions. Of note, some of the Thai people involved may know Jesus personally, but many more likely do not. Still, Jesus died to save the Thai people just as much as He died for me.

I’m thankful God’s love extends to each of us , even when we is unaware of Him. He is mighty to save and draws us close with His never-ending grace!

A new friend came to my house to visit this week. We just happened to talk about intercessory prayer. She said that if she has a specific need, she starts praying for others with that same need. As she sees God working in other people’s lives, she notices more blessings and answered prayer in her life, too.

I’m so thankful that we can access God directly through prayer in Jesus’ Name. When we pray using the words of Scripture, we agree with God and pray according to His will.

Our prayers are always heard—even if they are answered differently than we’d like.

Whether through prayer, or science, or BOTH, God graciously saved that soccer team. But the Victory is extra special because people all over the world were united in heart and mind as they prayed. Praise God!

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God, thanks for saving the Thai soccer team and coach. Please bless them and bring them to full recovery. Thank You for rescuing us and leading us to Victory, too! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Did you follow this international news story? What answers to prayer have you seen lately?

Tasks: As you bring your own personal requests to the Lord, start praying for others with the same need. That’s a good place to start! 🙂