Tenderhearted

As we go through April, I have been reminded that the 8th anniversary of Dave’s death is drawing near. May 15th will be here before we know it! Overall, I am doing well.

But, I’ve noticed a few issues steering me toward elements of grief. First, I’ve seen a few memories pop up on my phone or online. One was a video of a four-month-old Lydia “talking” to me. This was a few weeks before Dave’s sudden cancer diagnosis, so it is quite poignant. Sweet little Lydia babbling away, while none of us realized what was coming.

Second, I’ve received several prayers for health concerns. It may be entire families dealing with COVID (parents and children), or others receiving heartbreaking news or diagnoses. Some of these issues are acute and some are chronic.

One family, who I’ve known (loosely) for many years, is not dealing with cancer but other long-term health issues, which came on suddenly after a recent accident. The doctors are hopeful, but they have a long road ahead of them.

Online, the family shares the realities of their hardships, but they also shares songs and words of hope. It reminds me of when Dave was so sick and it felt like I was trying to run the race of faith for both of us. It was exhausting, but feeling everyone’s love made all the difference. Thanks for your prayers!

I do not see these memories and issues as mere coincidences. They aren’t just popping up though it feels that way at times. Instead, I sense God drawing me close and leading me to stay sensitive to His Holy Spirit. I’m grateful for these gentle reminders.

In addition to memories and prayer requests, I have been reading my NLT Chronological Bible and am learning some new things! Also, I am watching the Chosen television series. I downloaded the app and usually watch it on my tablet.

This series is powerful and it helps me see the Bible come alive. I love the character development, and it’s a great way to draw close to God’s Truth. From portraying the generosity of Jesus’ Mother to Matthew’s history and behaviors, which set him at odds with the other Disciples, the show has a lot of plausibility.

While there is no substitute for Scripture, I like to look up the Bible passages that are seen in each episode. Still, I really appreciate the creativity. It opens my imagination and helps me see God at work in my life, too.

There are some very moving moments, and I find myself thinking about the show for days. I even get a little choked up when I consider that millions of people all over the world are also watching… and learning… more of Who Jesus Is.

Those who know me best will tell you I tend to get teary-eyed when the Holy Spirit gets ahold of my heart. Sometimes it is a little embarrassing to cry easily, but I am calling it a win for being tenderhearted!

I don’t normally describe myself as such, and I used to try to be more stoic (in order to appear strong, perhaps?). Keep it together, Natalie! 😉 Yet, pain and the heartbreak of grief brings a new level of emotional acuity.

So, I don’t apologize for my feelings anymore. We don’t live by our emotions, but they can help us see Jesus more clearly…. and the needs around us.

If anything, I hope other people are encouraged to be themselves and sit with their feelings. Stay tenderhearted before the Lord and see what He will do in your life and through you to bless others.

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God, I praise You for using all my circumstances to make me more like Jesus. You are so good. Help me trust You and keep my heart pliable before You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you describe yourself as more stoic or tenderhearted? (I can be both, depending on the situation!) How can I be praying for you today?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Jesus I Believe,” by Big Daddy Weave. Instead of running from pain, let it turn your heart to Jesus. He loves you so much!!

Finding Grace #267

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week seemed long, but I can’t really explain why! 🙂 I think I just didn’t get enough sleep. It was a good week overall!

We had cooler weather for much of the week and  some very light snow, which is not ‘unexpected’ for this time of year. Nonetheless, the today and yesterday were bright, sunny, and warmer! We’ve enjoyed the longer days, too.

This week, I caught up with several people through calls and texts. Some people had big prayer requests, such as health issues. And some people were praising God for what He has done for them. I’m grateful.

Today was pretty relaxing, though it didn’t quite go as expected! Most of my original plans fell through! Instead, I enjoyed a slower pace and cooked various items for the week ahead. We ordered Chinese food for dinner. I’m grateful for God’s redirection! 

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Beets for Breakfast

Oatmeal, bagels, muffins, toast, cereal, fruit, eggs, etc…. Usually, I keep my breakfast simple and straightforward. I’ll eat just about anything, but I don’t try anything fancy Monday through Friday due to time constraints.

So, the other day, I was throwing together my breakfast in a rush. My usual options just didn’t sound appealing, or in a couple of cases, I had run out of those items. So, I grabbed whatever I had on hand.

That day, I ate beets for breakfast, as well as some other veggies, and egg, and some cooked whole grains (barley and millet, that day) all tossed together!! Everything but the egg was leftover from other meals. I added the egg for some protein on a whim, but I don’t usually use the stove in the morning. 

And hey!! It was surprisingly delicious!! Beets are one of my favorite vegetables, along with peppers, onions, tomatoes, cabbage, etc. While I don’t normally think of them as breakfast food, that day, they were perfect. Plus, the boost of creativity made me happy as I left for work. 

Guess what? My lunches for work are often like my breakfast. A little bit of everything thrown in one container. My coworkers always ask what I brought, and I show them all my leftovers! Yes, cooking for two means eating the same thing for a few days!

Professionally, I ask people every day about their lifestyle habits and their relationship with food. People tell me all sorts of interesting details! Then, I help them make small changes that add up and help meet their goals. I love being a dietitian!

Lately, at work, I’ve had several patients tell me of their favorite food combinations. One person loves dipping saltine crackers into coffee, while another enjoys potato chips and ice cream, too! Sweet and salty, perhaps?!

There’s no real right or wrong way to eat breakfast or lunch… or even dinner. Sure, I’d recommend a healthy mix of protein, carbohydrates, and even some non-starchy vegetables, less sweets and fast food. But ultimately, it’s important to just eat something. 

Regardless of what you eat for breakfast (or if you eat first thing!), I see a parallel for how God meets our needs. Sometimes, the solution is straightforward and sometimes it’s a little more creative (or crazy?!). But, it always is just what we need, when we need it.

We can look to Jesus as an example. He came as an ordinary baby, died as a criminal (though innocent), rose as a Victorious King, and then prepared breakfast for His disciples.

Surely, He knows what He is doing. We can trust His timing and provision!

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God, with You nothing is random or an afterthought. What may feel like chaos to us is just an opportunity to trust You more. Help us see You in each part of our day. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you like beets? What are your favorite breakfast foods? Do you keep it simple or do you go wild? How can you trust God more today?

Tasks: Let go of preconceived ideas for what your day should go like. Let God surprise you!

Finding Grace #266

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a productive week! I enjoyed a slightly slower pace at work filled with a few meetings, good conversations, yummy treats, and a fair amount of laughter. My coworkers and I were learning how to use a new tube feeding pump so we can educate our patients. It reminded me of the classic joke… how many (dietitians) does it take to change a light bulb?!

Lydia’s school was doing some state testing this week. She forgot her iPad at home because she was charging. I wasn’t able to bring it since I was already all the way across town at work. Thankfully, she borrowed one from the school library.

On Thursday evening, Lydia and I went out to eat with coworkers to bid farewell to our dietetic intern! She has been with us since January, and we all appreciated having her. She helped us with our work and was quick to learn everything we threw at her!

While at dinner on Thursday, I got to hold a coworker’s sweet four-month-old baby girl. She was so cute and alert! This baby was born the same month as Lydia so there are many similarities in the timing of her growth and development. As such, it meant a lot to me that I got to hold the baby, specifically because Lydia was the same size and age in April right before Dave got sick in May. Whenever I see a baby that age, I think about those few weeks and consider them a sweet spot before all Hell broke loose.

I went to the college campus on Friday to teach my class. It was on renal disease, which is kind of a complex topic. But, I did my best and felt good about it overall. In addition to covering the material, at least on a basic level, my goal is to give my students practical guidance to set them up for success. I also enjoyed catching up with some of the staff, too!

This week, the weather was windy and rainy at times. But, we need the rain and I was thankful it wasn’t snowing! Then again, it was absolutely gorgeous today, and I enjoyed hearing the song birds and seeing some crocuses popping up!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Unsolicited Gratitude

“Thanks, Mom!” Lydia yelled down the hall, recently.

“For what?!” I replied back. I couldn’t think of anything I had done for her in the previous moments leading up to this.

“For just being a great mom!” She came over and gave me a big hug.

There are plenty of times as a parent when I prompt Lydia to say thanks. But, in this instance it made my day to receive such unsolicited gratitude.

Lately, Lydia has been extra loving and kind. I have seen her grown in character, and I have given her some extra responsibilities and freedom at home. She has responded well and risen to the occasion. 

She also surprised me when she freely offered a Reese’s peanut butter egg (someone gave her two). As you can imagine, these days, we’re having a lot of fun laughing and spending time together. I’m grateful for my girl!

My inherent pride in Lydia reminds me of how God must feel about us when we praise Him out of the blue, or when we thank Him out of an abundance of gratitude.

He loves us as His dearly loved children. After all, if we have accepted Jesus’ loving sacrifice and forgiveness for our sins, we are joint heirs with Him!

As we grow in Godly character, we are given extra responsibilities and freedom.

I’m sure it makes Him so proud as we rise to the occasion!

Sometimes we can make life and our relationship with God complicated. But, at other times it seems so simple. He draws near to us as we draw near to Him, and in His presence if fullness of joy!

We bless God when we shout our thanks and sing His praises. It’s kind of like a bunch of flowers in full bloom. The aroma is as powerful as the flowers are pretty. What grace!

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God, thanks for Your great love and kindness! Thank You for your many blessings. May I rest in this new level of understanding Your love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you see God’s love through the people in your life?

Tasks: As you go about your day, spontaneously sing praises to God and shout out thanks for all He has done for you. As soon as you think of something praiseworthy, go for it! This could be in the shower, in your car, on the stairs, in an elevator, while taking a walk…

Persistence in Prayer

Jesus often woke up early, while it was still dark, to go pray. It surely was the key to His success and gave Him increased fortitude to do His work. Afterall, He came to die.

In Luke 11:1-13, Jesus then teaches His disciples how to pray. The Lord’s prayer is followed by an example of persistence in prayer. This is a well-known passage of Scripture, but sometimes it is difficult to keep praying for something you still don’t see.

For example, sometimes I pray for awhile about something and then move on to other things. It’s not that I forget about them or that I don’t think God will provide for me. Sometimes, I just get distracted by life. Or, on occasion, I can be more focused on the prayer and outcome than I am letting God do the work on my behalf.

Whenever that happens, I lay off praying and just give it to God.  I can trust Him to do all He has planned for me. While I wait, I am patient and obedient.

Then again... what if I am avoiding the issue altogether due to fear? Is fear holding me back from God’s best? Even though what I pray for is good, it will still bring change.

This came to a head last week when I was at the dentist. The hygienist mentioned something I have been praying for off-and-on (trying not to be obsessive!). With her hands in my mouth, I could only listen to her perspective and murmur feedback. 🙂 She’s in a different spot than I am, so it was interesting that we would have similar prayer requests.

Regarding that particular prayer, lately I have been taking a ‘laissez-faire’ approach. I am open minded to receiving a blessing, but I have decided to wait and see what happens.

Then, a few days later, I had a great conversation with someone who reminded me we can’t just sit back and wait for the UPS man to show up with our answer to prayer!

I had to laugh and wholeheartedly agreed. We have to fight for the Promised Land!

But then, I wondered, am I being patient… or complacent? 

On Sunday, the pastor gave some very practical tips on prayer. He mentioned the story of when Jesus cursed the fig tree in Matthew 21:18-22 and soon turned this into a discourse on prayer. Jesus was a master at getting people’s attention!

The pastor reminded us we all have mountains in our lives. He said we are like “mountain movers” when we pray boldly and actively work to get rid of the problem. This kind of prayer does not limit God, but expects He can do anything!

The other option is more comfortable, that is, “mountain maintenance,” where we simply landscape around our issues and make them look prettier, but the problem remains.

Generally, I don’t consider my prayer requests to be mountains, but as I listened, I was inspired and slightly convicted. Acts of faith and obedience honor God.

So, I asked myself:  Which of these options requires a leap of faith?

Furthermore, when God blesses us with answers to prayer, He expects us to bless others, as well. Suddenly, I saw how my prayers could be a statement of faith for future blessing instead of merely staying comfortable due to fear. Wow!

As a result of these recent experiences, I am going to start praying for a vision of all God will do when He answers my prayers. I am not giving Him an ultimatum; I’ll aim to be content and at peace either way.

Still, I can rest in the fact God loves to say YES, and even His NO is an ultimate YES.

Jesus is truly all I need.

Finally, we don’t need all the answers to walk by faith. Thus, my faith is not dependent on the outcome, but I can pray with hope and expect God’s goodness everywhere I go!

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God, thanks for letting me join in Your work through prayer and action. Help me pray boldly and with persistence. Give me more of a vision for all You want to do in my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How would you describe your prayer life? Is it peppered with doubt or is it persistent with faith?

Tasks: Pray boldly and with persistence! Listen to the song, “Believer,” by Rhett Walker.

When Compromise Becomes Catastrophe

Give and take in relationships is important. Compromise can be a good way to solve problems. Hopefully, everyone gets what they want… and no one has to give up too much.

Still, compromise often requires good communication, sacrifice, and possibly discomfort. An example may be fostering a child in need or staying up late to help a friend. In those cases, we hope to share our values through influence.

But sometimes in life, we can compromise our values and that can get us into trouble. If we rely on our own (limited) wisdom and strength instead of God’s, we too easily forget what He called us to do.

We start skimping on details, which may mean skipping out altogether when difficult circumstances arise. If we’re not careful, we can bring catastrophe on ourselves and/or others.

I’m reading the (NLT Chronological) Bible in a Year with friends, and we’re starting the book of Joshua this week. In short, Joshua was Moses’ personal assistant and mentee.

After Moses died, Joshua was appointed to lead the nation of Israel to claim the Promised Land. He sought to do exactly what Moses directed. He was faithful to do all God called him to do.

It wasn’t easy, but he had God’s presence and His Word. (Moses wrote the Pentateuch, the first five books, which tell the story of God’s people and laws to this point).

Joshua was one of twelve spies sent to scout out the Promised Land many years before. He and Caleb brought back a good report, but the ten other spies incited fear in people.

This lack of faith caused the whole nation to wander in the desert for forty years! They ate quail and manna morning, noon, and night all that time. You think Israel would have learned her lesson!

Yet, as we go through the book of Joshua (and the next book, called Judges), we see that although Joshua did right, the entire nation eventually started to do things their own way. 

Sadly, Israel never fully conquered the land promised to Abraham (from near Egypt to the Euphrates River). Instead, they settled for a much smaller portion than God intended.

What happened?!

Well, somewhere along the way, they compromised. They grew comfortable and stopped challenging themselves. According to Deuteronomy 32:15, they grew spiritually fat and lazy. How Israel missed out!

This is a word of caution for us, too! The Promised Land was often called, ‘a land flowing with milk and honey.’ But that doesn’t mean it came easy. They were to fight for the land and then cultivate it. God was with them and for them, but still they stopped short.

Maybe you are waiting on God to move on your behalf. I understand, but maybe He’s waiting for you to be obedient! Yes, each of us has different goals and dreams, but our modern-day ‘Land of Promise’ is also going to take some effort to obtain and maintain!

Don’t get lazy or give up territory. Gird yourself with faith and perseverance. Be bold and courageous! Put in the work and see the results! It will take some time, but anything worth doing is worth doing well.

Don’t get to the point of shoulda-coulda-woulda. There’s no need for regret. Just ask God for wisdom and seek His input first! He will help us navigate our path and bring peace.

If we ask Him, the Lord will help us avoid major catastrophes and chaos. He does not want us to confused. Instead, He has good things in store for those who are obedient.

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God, thanks for generously giving us Your wisdom when we ask for it. Help us come to You when we face compromise. May we not settle for less than Your best. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Can you think of situations in which compromise is a good thing? Conversely, when does it lead to catastrophe?

Tasks: Read these verses Genesis 15:15-21; Numbers 34; and Joshua 1:3-9  about the boundaries promised to Abraham and reinforced later to Moses and Joshua. Then, compare those boundaries to King David’s conquests, in addition to modern day Israel.

It’s Gonna Be Okay

The week after the Spring time change (DST) is always a little rough. I didn’t feel it was off to too bad of a start, until I stayed up late two nights in a row working on a project and completely lost track of time! Thankfully, I felt fine, but I was moving slooow. Whoops!

Then, yesterday morning, Lydia slept in through her alarm! We each have our morning rhythms, which is more apparent when the timing gets off. Thankfully, I have built in extra time in Lydia’s schedule, so she wasn’t really too far behind like I was.

When our morning routine gets off, I have learned to roll with it. These are the days where I don’t do the extras. That means I skip the lathering shower pouf, use the lotion that takes less time to soak in, and don’t try anything new (think makeup and hair products)!

On those days, I don’t skip breakfast, but I may grab something portable or forgo the milk in my coffee. One reason I have trained myself to drink it black… sometimes, it’s necessary!

Yes, there are days when it seems everything is just “off” or something dramatic happens. This song, Into the Sea, by Tasha Layton, references Psalm 46:1-3, which says:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”

I have been singing and humming about mountains falling into the sea all week, but yesterday, it made me think. What does it mean by ‘mountains falling into the sea?’

We don’t have mountains in Fargo, which is pretty flat. But, I have seen avalanches and glaciers calving online! And, practically speaking, this is a great picture of everything literally falling apart.

When the ground starts giving way beneath us, God is there to catch us!

Another line that stands out in that song is, “Only good things come from You.” I am reminded that chaos is not directly from God, but He will turn it into something good.

Because He is good… that is, goodness is a part of His nature… He can’t help but use my circumstances for His glory and my good. Of course, this isn’t just to make sure I get to work on time. But, rather that I stay in tune to His timing and follow His lead.

With Jesus on our side, it will always turn out well for us. That doesn’t mean we won’t have challenges, but He is with us and for us! With confidence, we can trust Him and say, “It’s gonna be okay!”

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God, You are good! You sustain me when life is uncertain. Thanks for being my safe place. Thanks for staying close. Be my strength and hold me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions:  On those crazy-busy mornings, would you rather be late and do everything well? Or, do you have a back-up plan to save time?

Tasks: Crank up the sound and listen to the song, Into the Sea, linked above in pink. Then, listen to this song, “Safe Here,” by the same artist! Sooo good!

Finding Grace #262

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was an awesome week!! On Sunday, we Zoomed with family. It’s been so fun to check in every week! It has become one of my favorite things to do every week!

On Monday, I dropped of my tax documents to my accountant. I have various things to keep track of, and it’s good to have help! As a single mom, it’s one less thing for me to have to do. It’s always nice to get a refund, but this year, it was split. I owe some and get some back! No matter what I am so grateful for God’s provision!

I had many friendly patients this week. It’s so fun to talk with Veterans who are eager to learn about nutrition. It’s more than that though. It’s good to make the ‘human connection,’ and that was a highlight of my week!

We got a little snow this week, after it was mostly melted away. This snow won’t stick around for long, but it triggered my snow removal service to come. I was very happy about that, as I got to sleep until my normal alarm went off.

On Wednesday, I called Fitbit customer service for help. I happened to talk to someone who was working from home… in Jamaica! We had a good conversation while he answered my questions. Turns out, Lydia’s device is out of warranty, but he gave us a 35% off coupon so we could order a new one! She was so grateful and excited!

Today has been beautiful, with warmer weather and little wind. Lydia went to a friend’s house to play, while I visited with a couple friends, ran errands, and tackled some chores around the house. When Lydia returned, we took a walk to other ‘little free libraries’ and delivered some books we were done with. I also updated some of the books in ours!

Don’t forget to turn your clocks forward one hour tonight!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #260

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was full of God’s grace. I felt Him directing my path and filling in the gaps along the way. I’m so grateful He leads me through parenting issues, especially when it comes to dealing with Lydia’s subtle but ongoing grief about her dad, my late-husband, Dave! She’s doing fine today but had a few emotional moments this week.

On Wednesday, Lydia had a check-up at the orthodontist. She had braces a couple of years ago, but currently she is only wearing a retainer. We’ll see what the future x-rays show, but for now, everything looks good. Ironically, the next day, Lydia lost another tooth!

It was a good work-week, too. I felt productive and accomplished a lot. I had good conversations and collaborations with my coworkers. I also had fun leading a student meeting for around 60 students, plus meeting with my own students later on.

Today, I enjoyed catching up with my parents on the phone. My mom and I compared parenting notes, and my dad helped me fix my kitchen garbage disposal. It felt good to troubleshoot and get the motor running again. It feels good to solve the problem on my own!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!