Well, it’s been about a week and a half since my mom, Debbie, went to Heaven. I miss her so much and know I’m not the only one. She was like a mother figure to many people. Mom took many people under her wing and encouraged them. She was gifted at identifying their strengths and helping them grow into who God made them to be.
My family has received many messages from people about how Mom changed the course of their family’s life. She taught a friend to pray in public; now that friend’s son is a pastor. Mom challenged another woman to love her husband by making time for him. That marriage has never been stronger. Mom mentored many and called us all a little higher.
Mom knew how to get right to the heart of the matter. Although she sometimes spoke harsh truths, she did it with love and grace. Her conviction was always mixed with witty charm. I don’t know anyone else who could do that like she did!
Most of us would just keep quiet despite seeing a glaringly obvious problem in someone else. Not Mom. If she loved you, she would not let it go. She would speak up so you could make it right. She was a force, but came from a place of love. Mom wanted the best for and expected the best from her friends and family.
Mom did not worry whether someone liked her. She gave tons of compliments but would also risk telling someone the truth. She did not do it to demean or gloat, but to correct an error. In essence, she loved you too much to leave you that way.
Mom looked sweet, but she could pack a wallop when needed. One of her favorite lines was, “Don’t let the freckles fool you!” Similarly, a dear family friend called her “Debbie Torpedo”—because you never saw it coming!
If you’ve experienced “being laid flat” as I like to say, I’m happy to report that God really refined my Mom over many decades of walking with Him. When I was little, she was still working on controlling her fiery temper… So, I know how it feels! But, as my parents and siblings often discussed later as adults, it was just the forge we needed.
Mom and Dad didn’t set out to raise weak kids who would flounder in the real world. My parents have been through some tough circumstances, and they wanted to prepare us. So they taught us first about Jesus and second about showing up and doing hard things. They promoted independence and standing on our own two feet.
My parents held us to high standards and expected us to rise to that level. For every gift we received, we wrote a thank you note. She would tear it up if it weren’t “thankful enough” or legible, and we would have to start over. We can laugh about it now, but there were many tears. 😉
Mom and Dad didn’t ask us to do anything they weren’t already doing. They lead by example. Mom was well known for writing cards to people. She cultivated this discipline over decades. When her arthritis flared up and she was in so much pain (often daily), she would reach out and bless others.
Indeed, I have learned so much from my mom. At the end of her life (though we did not see it coming), Mom, aka “Debbie Torpedo” still had some of that fire, yet her faith in Jesus tempered it. She was born a fighter, but He made her into a warrior. She did not blame Jesus for the pain or complain about it. She praised Him and blessed others. That’s an example worth following!
**********
God, You are so good and wise. Thanks for working in each of our lives and transforming us. May we submit to You and use our strengths for Your glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: Have you ever had someone speak a harsh truth to you? Was it done in love or spite? Did you resist change or did you grow through the process?
Task: If you want to read my mom’s obituary but haven’t, here it is.
