Shredding Inadequacy and Indifference

This past Sunday, I was feeling a little blah (aka unmotivated and indifferent). I was also feeling inadequate. I’m sure there are several reasons, including needing to do a lot of housework, while running short on sleep and exercise.

On Sunday, it all was weighing me down because I have struggled to find a good routine lately and have not been meeting my personal goals.

So, on the way to church, I prayed to refocus on God and asked Him to make me a blessing to others at the morning service. Then, I heard a song that spoke to what I was feeling. Every moment can be used to worship God no matter what we are feeling.

Sad, bad, mad, glad, or blah…take it to Jesus!

Ironically, that day the pastor’s sermon was similar. The message was about reclaiming our soul (our mind, will, and emotions) from the world’s influences. We can easily get drained or lose sight of who we are in Christ if we don’t keep things in check.

I felt convicted that I need to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s nudgeshumbling in a good way. I was also challenged because often I get stuck in a cycle of performance. Sometimes, I try to reach goals on my own, forgetting to rely on Jesus and what really matters.

It’s not all just paying bills, dishes, laundry, parenting and work. For me, it can also include too much social media times and games, or even too much reading. These activities are fine by themselves, but can be major distractions at times.

Quite possibly, my biggest soul killer can be too much thinking (daydreaming, problem solving, planning, or worrying about things I can’t control). I happen to enjoy thinking quite a bit, but want to make sure my thoughts are God-centered and not self-centered or fear-promoting.

On Monday, Lydia and I took my paper shredder to an office store. Random, I know, but mine was jammed—and had been for at least a month or two. (Yes, I also have been ignoring my to-be-shredded pile for far too long!) With a little nudge from God, I finally decided to ask for help with it.

Well, my shredder was beyond repair so I opted to buy a new one. I didn’t really want to spend more money, as I had recently been to that same store three other times (including for school and office supplies).

To my surprise, I found a floor model that was a major upgrade from my old shredder for about 75% off the original cost. This model was about the same cost as the tiniest shredder on the shelf. And, it was so big it took up the almost the entire cart!

In that moment, I felt God’s grace and love because He knew just what I needed. I had wanted a bigger shredder so I don’t have to empty the other one as fast. But I hadn’t planned to buy one because of the cost.

Thus, it felt like a blessing to get such a deal on this giant new shredder—like God hand-picked it for me! I’m grateful I didn’t miss what He wanted to do for me. Acknowledging God’s presence encouraged me and reenergized me!

Even something as trivial as a paper shredder can be a tool God uses to draw us closer to Him. It also felt like a positive step in tackling my messy office floor! Quite a few unruly piles of paper have accumulated over time!

Later, in another moment of brave humility (is that a thing?), I felt motivated to ask a friend for help. I need some accountability! She gladly agreed to come help me go through some boxes and clutter that have also been weighing me down.

Soon, we’ll chat and catch up as she helps me sort through shelves and stuff I have been putting off instead of putting away… Cleaning and organizing is better with friends, right?!

I’m grateful that God meets us where we are…mess and all.

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God, thanks for not giving up on me! Thanks for making me new from the inside out. May my heart and life bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are ways that you take care of yourself (your soul)? How do you let God take care of you?

Tasks: Look for ways to revitalize your walk with Jesus. Look for Him in ordinary moments. Perhaps He has a surprise for you as you draw closer to Him!

 

Finding Grace #126

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was low key, but rather exhausting though we didn’t have much planned! I didn’t get much sleep when we were enjoying time with family. Then, after we returned in the middle of the week, I kept praying that I could keep my days straight! 🙂

Lydia and I spent Wednesday unpacking, doing laundry, sorting mail, paying bills, and relaxing after spending so much time in the car on our road trip. We had a great time, but driving was physically tiring. It was good to have a day set aside to recover.

Today, I still feel like I am still getting caught up from our weeklong adventure (as much fun as it was). At work, I previously altered my schedule to accommodate my travel plans. Thus, I went to work on Thursday and Friday and had a full patient load. Mentally tired, after that, I didn’t accomplish much at home! Still, I’m thankful for the flexibility!

I have a deadline this next week for a writing project. I’m not sure I’ll meet my goal, but I am thankful it is not a BIG deal if I don’t. I’m also glad God’s grace which covers us no matter what we do (or don’t do)!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Where did you find God’s grace this week?

Book Review: Joni & Ken

This summer, I have been reading several memoirs, many of them related to faith or medical issues. Recently a friend loaned me a book called Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story and I have finally gotten around to reading it.

I have a large ‘to be read’ pile, but I could barely put this book down!

I was somewhat familiar with Joni Eareckson Tada’s story, of how she broke her neck in a diving accident as a teen and has been a quadriplegic ever since. However, I had no idea all that she has been through or how she and her husband make their marriage work.

The book highlights each of their struggles—and how they haven’t given up. Joni has been dealing with intense chronic pain for many years even without true feeling in her limbs. Pain medication barely takes the edge off. She also has had broken bones, pressure ulcers, severe pneumonia, and even breast cancer.

Ken, as a caregiver, has his own challenges that require perseverance. He has also had to take a backseat to his wife’s fame. As a result, Joni and Ken’s marriage has been tested and refined… Yet, these experiences have grown their relationship. Furthermore, they have been able to advocate for other people with disabilities.

I really appreciate—and recommend—this book because it was very real with no pretense. Life is not peachy all the time. Yet, this story proves that suffering can serve to draw us closer to Jesus. Indeed, God has been faithful to see the Tadas through.

Each of us has our own troubles that can define us or refine us. We have the choice whether to give up or give it to God. We can choose to stop in our tracks when life gets tough, or we can choose to move forward even when we don’t see where we are going.

We can trust Jesus because He never lets us down!

Each time I read or hear a story documenting God’s grace, goodness, and faithfulness in the midst of uncertainty, it makes me trust Him more for the outcome of my story too. Whatever you are facing today, know God loves You—He is for you and with you!

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God, thanks for writing our stories with grace and love. You are so kind and good—the best is yet to come! Help us trust You with the details. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you familiar with Joni Eareckson Tada? Watch this video! What good books have you read lately?

Tasks: Consider how you can be a blessing to someone with ongoing needs—medical or otherwise. Even just a little encouragement can be a good start!

Keep On Kayaking

On Sunday afternoon, Lydia and I celebrated a fun accomplishment! We went kayaking! For me, it was a dream come true…something I have wanted to do with Lydia for quite some time.

Kayaking was a personal victory on several fronts. First, I simply managed to do it! Paddling on a river is one of my favorite things to do—I love the challenge and find it relaxing. Yet, I haven’t gone out in years.

It can be difficult to try new things or go to new places on my own, let alone with a child! Sometimes, I don’t give myself enough credit… In fact, I had previously talked myself out of canoeing or kayaking this month because it seemed overwhelming to coordinate our schedule with the rental facility hours, weather, the water conditions, etc.

Second, I wasn’t sure Lydia would be able to paddle much, and I didn’t know if I could handle everything on my own. Between paddling and safety, there’s a lot to consider! Besides, even if she could paddle, I thought for sure, she’d want to quit after two minutes…and/or start complaining.

Earlier in the week, I decided to scout out the area beforehand so we knew where to go. It was easy to find and there were several vessels available…check. I picked up a ton of brochures to read…check. Lydia seemed to enjoy it…check.

On Sunday, the forecasted rain looked like it might miss us. Then, I showed Lydia a couple YouTube videos on paddling so she knew the basics. (It was better than nothing, haha!!) And, with a leap of faith, we headed over to Moorhead, MN.

I had very low expectations and mostly just wanted to get Lydia some experience. At the dock, I decided to ask a few questions and let the workers give me feedback on if it was a good idea. If they advised against it, I told Lydia we’d go geocaching along the shore instead.

After explaining my concerns, the workers assured me that we could do it! The water was high and the current was fast due to recent rainfall, so they suggested a kayak instead of a canoe because it is lower to the water level. It would be more manageable in the fast water.

So, we put on our life jackets and got a quick lesson in paddling. Then, I helped carry the tandem kayak to the dock and we were off! We paddled up stream and then, later, coasted back. There were other families and individuals doing the same.

I’m happy to report, Lydia totally proved me wrong! She did so well, and went far beyond my expectations. She never complained, she paddled like a machine, AND she asked if we could go again soon. 🙂

We made it under two bridges and I bet next time we can go to the third! We both had a lot of fun and were proud of ourselves. It was very fulfilling. Win-win!

I’m glad I didn’t let fear stop me from taking Lydia on the water by myself. I now feel confident that we can have many more adventures together! We will definitely keep on kayaking… Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for giving me courage and for protecting me! You fill my life with good things. Please direct my path and help me keep moving forward in faith. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is on your summer bucket list? Is anything holding you back from accomplishing those adventures?

Tasks: Don’t let fear dictate your steps—choose to move forward in faith! Quite likely, you’ll find some blessings and surprises along the way!

Ten Things For Which I Am Thankful

Confession: Over the last few days, I have noticed myself reacting to various issues in not-so-helpful ways. Some issues are mere annoyances…and most are out of my control. I could tell you how I have lost my temper, felt sorry for myself, or have said words I regret. Maybe that can wait for another day… in the meantime, I will focus on adjusting my attitude. 😉

We all have bad days or moments from time to time, and we all need the Lord’s forgiveness and refining. Nonetheless, instead of seeing all that is ‘wrong,’ I want to look for what is going well.

So today, I am challenging myself to find ten things for which I am thankful. It doesn’t solve all my problems but gratitude does put them into perspective. We all have so much goodness in our lives…

In no particular order, I am thankful for…

Sleep. If I am over-tired, I am more likely to lose my cool. Sometimes a nap is a perfect way to reset. I’m also grateful for a new FitBit that has better sleep information than my old one. I have been tracking my sleep habits and trying to be more consistent overall.

Nature. Sometimes, I just need to get away and decompress. I have taken some awesome nature walks lately which has been refreshing. (I probably should do that more often!)When I see the beautiful blue sky, cool animals, green leaves, and flowers in a rainbow of colors, I am reminded of how much God cares about all the details of my life too.

Good listeners. I have some wonderful people in my life who let me talk openly and get things off my chest when needed. I don’t do this all the time, thankfully, but I do appreciate the feedback provided. Sometimes I need someone to agree with me and sometimes I need a kick in the pants. I’m glad to have family and friends who can offer kindness and/or provide some tough love! I’m also thankful when they pray for me!

My lawnmower. Mowing the lawn is not my favorite thing to do, but I am always proud of myself after it is done. It reminds me that I can indeed do difficult things with God’s help. 🙂

Stability. I have a lovely house and a good job, and God provides so well for me. I have no lack. All of my basic needs are met, which reminds me that ‘godliness with contentment is great gain.’ Thank You, Jesus!

Walkie-talkies. This might sound odd, but Lydia and I use walkie-talkies when she is playing at a neighbor’s house so I don’t have to yell like a madwoman to get her attention. This provides a little independence for Lydia and some reassurance for me. It also makes it possible to get a few quick chores done inside when all she wants to do is play outside.

Access to healthy food, healthcare, etc. In America, we have so many resources that we often take them for granted. Just in terms of food, there are probably ten-thousand options at one grocery store… and I have perhaps ten grocery stores within ten minutes of where I live. (No more complaining here!)

Hugs from Lydia. She is quick to sense when I need a hug, which always ‘fills my cup.’ I’m so thankful for her and my life is much more rich with her in it.

Music. Music has a special way expressing our feelings without words. I like several kinds of music, but lately, I have appreciated birds singing on my deck and worship music. Both help me pause and reconnect with the Lord.

Opportunities to serve. This is especially important to get our eyes off ourselves. When I can use my gifts to help someone, that changes everything.

Wow, I feel better already! I’m thankful God loves us ‘too much’ to let us stay focused on ourselves. His love is overwhelming and reckless! (So that makes eleven things! Bonus!)

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God, thanks for loving me so much. Please forgive me when I have a bad attitude. Give me new eyes to see the needs around me and help me be thankful. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Can you name ten things for which you are thankful?

Tasks: Start each day with gratitude. Write some thank you notes! Also, listen to the song, ‘Reckless Love’ by Cory Asbury.

I Belong to God

Last Friday night, I, along with three other ladies, spoke at a women’s event at our church. We each briefly shared our stories as it related to the theme: I Belong to God.

Ironically, each of us interpreted the theme differently, but each story provided a unique angle and gave a deeper, more well-rounded view of the theme. How cool!

One lady shared about how she doesn’t always feel like she belongs. She often feels outside the social circle, but with Jesus, she never has to feel that way.

Another lady shared about how belonging to Christ gives her identity. She shared how she has grown over the years as she understood who she is in Christ.

I shared a quick version of my story, and the fourth lady’s story was about saying yes to God’s call. We also sang worship songs in between testimonies.

For my story, I shared I had grown up in a Christian home and met Jesus at a young age. While I had the head knowledge that Jesus loved me, in my heart, I was afraid.

Looking back, it was difficult for me to put a finger on the root of my fear—and because I couldn’t figure out exactly what the problem was, I never really dealt with it. I just let it become a stronghold over the years. In some ways, fear became my comfort zone.

Then, I shared about moving to Fargo and about our cancer journey. What an emotional roller coaster! It wasn’t easy—our faith was stretched thin at times—but we chose to trust Jesus. And, He really did come through for us in so many ways.

When everything in my life fell apart, God was there to catch me and pick up the pieces. I saw that He is bigger than all my worst fears and was the only sure thing that remained after Dave died. He has taken such good care of me and my daughter, Lydia.

Recently, I came across a quote by Emily Freeman: She says, “When you can’t see God’s hand, trust His heart.” I love that because we all find ourselves in unexpected situations and seasons that we didn’t plan.

If you are facing a choice between FEAR and FAITH, choose faith.

When you belong to God, you can cling to Him in the midst of uncertainty. You can trust in His provision. And, you can rest in His grace. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. He’s got you covered!

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Heavenly Father, You are so good! Thanks for setting me free from fear. Help me walk in Your grace and live for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is your story and does it include Jesus? Have you ever written it down or shared it with someone?

Tasks: Write down the evidence of God’s grace in your life—share them someone who needs encouragement. Listen to the song, “It Is Well” by Kristene DiMarco and Bethel Music.

A Cop-Out or A Call-Out

You’ve probably heard the following adage: What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. I’ve also heard our past can make us bitter or better. So, it seems to me that there are two ways to look at all of our past trials and how they prepare us for the future.

I can choose between fear and faith.

Regarding cancer and Dave’s death…

Fear could say something like: “Well, that was terrible! How many more awful things am I going to have to endure? What’s coming next? Woe is me!” As you might guess, it could quickly turn into a downward spiral…

Thankfully, I kicked fear to the curb long ago.

Instead, I choose to see all I’ve gone through with eyes of faith.

Faith says, “Wow, that was rough! But look how God brought me through! I’m still standing! God won’t waste my pain… I can’t wait to see how He uses this for His glory and my good!”

Fear points out all the problems in my life—the cannots, the impossibilities. Fear rejects outside help, reinforcing that I am all alone in my struggle.

Faith points me to Jesus—with whom nothing is impossible. Faith accepts His power and grace—with Him, I can do all things!

Fear keeps me from moving forward, saying “maybe later.” Fear hinders growth.

Faith unlocks courage, never-ending potential, and adventure. As I pursue new possibilities, I am empowered. The joy of the Lord is my strength!

Fear reminds me of everything I am not. Faith repeats what God says, who I am in Christ.

Fear is crippling, but faith makes me hold my head high with confidence—not in my abilities, but in His.

Fear is often rose-colored glasses, remembering what was. Faith acknowledges the pain and grief, yet clings to Jesus for what can and will be.

Fear can be a cop-out and brings condemnation. Faith calls me out and requires grit.

Fear gives up easily, due to exhaustion and worry. Fear never sees a reward or goodness.

Faith takes endurance, yet yields expectation and wonder. Faith pays off in the end.

Fear is subtle. I never realized its hold on me—until all my worst fears came true.

Fear is not from God. Yet, He used those terrible experiences to teach me that I don’t have to choose fear. Jesus set me free with His unfailing love and grace!

My Victory did not come easy. It was a tough lesson to learn. Indeed, I have suffered major losses with long-term impact. I’m grateful nonetheless.

“See, God has come to save me.
I will trust in him and not be afraid.
The Lord God is my strength and my song;
he has given me victory.” (Isaiah 12:2)

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Heavenly Father, thank You for the Victory we have in Jesus! Thank You that we don’t have to live in fear. Forgive us for our unbelief and help us walk in faith. Help us trust you for good things ahead! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Which do you tend to choose most often: Fear or faith? Are there some changes you need to make?

Tasks: Don’t be afraid! Our past challenges and present circumstances do not disqualify us from a good future. Jesus makes all things new! He forgives us and gives us new opportunities. Choose faith!

Writing Reflections

This past weekend, I went to my first writers conference. The conference was held in St. Paul, MN, which is about 4 hours from Fargo. I arrived on Friday afternoon for the Saturday conference, then spent another night before returning home Sunday afternoon.

In order to attend the conference, however, I needed help with Lydia. Childcare is perhaps my biggest challenge as a single mom. Often, I have to make up my mind to do something, and then figure out how I am going to make it work with Lydia.

This is true for conferences, parties, appointments, concerts, certain church meetings, etc. Many times, I just decide the event is not worth the hassle of figuring out child care. But, if I do choose to attend, I trust the Lord to help me make it work.

This weekend, my family came to the rescue! They trekked several hours to meet us in the Twin Cities. Then, they took Lydia to explore the Cities while I was at the all-day conference. Lydia was glad to have grandparents, aunts, and uncles all to herself!

I was grateful for their help…Lydia was grateful to go to Mall of America!

At the conference, I saw several agents, acquisition editors, and publishers. I heard them speak at workshops and at a panel luncheon. I have followed some of them over the years, so it was a really cool experience to see them in the hallway, like any other person!

While I’m not currently ready to publish anything specific, the conference itself was a good confirmation that I am on the right track with meeting my goals. Thank You, Jesus!

Perhaps the most surprising thing about the conference was that I didn’t have to explain that I am a writer. You might be thinking, “Well duh, you were at a writers conference!” But it’s common for writers to deal with self-doubt.

In the past, seeing myself as a writer was a challenge. So, I prayerfully invested in a couple online programs and learned to see myself in a new way. Consistent blogging has been helpful, too. Just putting myself “out there” has boosted my confidence in writing.

I’ve come to see writing as a means to document my journey and reflections on life, what God is doing, and how I interact with others. Writing helps me learn more about myself and the world around me.

This past weekend, it was great to ask people what they are writing or answer questions about my own projects. Just having taking people take me at ‘face value’ was refreshing. Even if I didn’t have anything to “show” that day.

In the past, I might have gotten stuck or discouraged. But to my great relief, I was able to see just how much I’ve grown! Praise God!

Our Heavenly Father is the Author and Finisher of our faith. He knows how our stories end, because He sees the end from the beginning of time. In fact, our own stories are wrapped up in His larger story. So, we can trust Him as He leads us!

As we read His word, inspired by the Holy Spirit, God shows us who He is…and who we are, too. We just have to read it and embrace what He says.

The more time we spend with Jesus, the more we understand about ourselves. It’s a great investment of our time, and by His grace, He calls us like He sees us!

We are saved. We are forgiven. We are free. We are chosen. We are loved. We are redeemed. We have new purpose. We are called. We are empowered. We are His.

Perhaps you don’t enjoy writing… Maybe God wants you to do something different…like stay home with your kids, go back to school, volunteer, change your diet, forgive someone, or introduce yourself to a neighbor. It can be scary to put yourself “out there.” I know.

But ultimately, we have to make a choice to trust. Jesus is faithful and more than able to get us where we need to be. We just have to take the first step.

With His unfailing love and support, how can we fail? Let’s see ourselves like He does and cooperate with Him. We can’t go wrong! And who knows, maybe soon, you will be doing something you never thought was possible!

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God, thank You for putting Your dreams within our hearts. Thanks for walking with us along the way, giving us guidance. Help us see ourselves as You do. Help us be brave! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you have a dream that seems impossible? How can you trust God and take the first step?

Tasks: Write down all the reasons your dream seems unachievable. Then, write a Bible verse next to each reason, such as Philippians 1:6 or Philippians 4:13. As you pray through each verse, redirect your focus on Jesus and trust Him to help you!

Calling Out the Good

Yesterday afternoon, Lydia and her classmates put on a spring program showcasing some of what they have learned this year. They sang several songs, recited a Bible verse, and acted out the story of David and Goliath. It was really cute!

At the end, the teachers handed out “character awards” to each student. Some of the traits recognized included exhibiting joy, kindfulness, cheerfulness, responsibility, originality, and a positive attitude.

Lydia was one of the last to be called forward, and I didn’t know what to expect for her. Though, I was pleasantly surprised when she received an award for HELPFULNESS.

I thought to myself, “Of course! She is so much like her dad.” Dave was known for his servant heart; he was always eager to help others. I love seeing that in Lydia!

After the show, we briefly discussed being helpful as we ate refreshments. When we were done, Lydia jumped up to help me clear the table. Then, we ran to get gas and groceries before heading home.

Later, Lydia eagerly helped me carry in the groceries and put them away (as best she could). “Here, Mom, I can help you!” Then, we made dinner together.

Lydia set the table and emptied the clean dishes from the dishwasher. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Mom?” I then had to come up with activities to keep her busy while I finished cooking. This involved cleaning her room and picking up her toys.

Just before we ate, Lydia helped stir and dish up some of the food. “Hey Mom, these are like chores! And, I can earn money to give Jesus for missions!” Lydia was quite proud of her revelation. I was quite proud of her giving heart.

In case you are wondering, Yesterday’s excitement and helpfulness are not quite the norm for us. Many days, having a good attitude and doing chores looks very different!

Still, I was amazed at how much a simple award, or any acknowledgement calling out the good, could inspire Lydia to action. All on her own, she felt called to another level of helpfulness. The impact grew as the night went on.

As I was considering all of this, I thought about the times I have experienced something similar. When someone takes the time to say thanks or recognize a good quality, I too, step it up and do more.

We often focus on our individual effort to make a difference around us. “What can I do to help??” But I believe we can have even greater impact by cheering each other on as we go! Together everyone achieves more, right?!

God has given each of His children special gifts. Those gifts are not meant to be kept for ourselves, but to build each other up and show His love to the world. Of course, we don’t serve to get something in return. But, we are happiest when we are helping others.

Indeed, there are times when we all feel down. That’s fairly normal. In those moments, we may feel disconnected from our purpose, our passion, or even our people. Each problem may need a special solution. (I recommend prayer first!)

In many cases, asking for help and reaching out to help others can change our perspective. Part of the key is remembering we are not alone. We are all connected and need a sense of belonging. As Lydia says, “It’s great to be a team because we can help each other!”

In this dark and chaotic world, we should call out the good when we see it. A little appreciation brings a boost of confidence and sense of connection. Even just one word of encouragement can prompt someone else to take action and make a positive difference!

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Heavenly Father, You are good! Thanks for letting us join You in Your work. May we see the good around us and call it out. May we help others in their time of need and show people Your love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When was the last time someone called out the good in you? What was your response?

Tasks: Read Ecclesiastes 4:10 and Galatians 6:9. Choose at least one person to encourage!

7 Steps to Making Wise Decisions

It’s only January, but so far I have already made some big decisions that will have impact on the rest of the year. It has been fun to see all the possibilities! But it can also be challenging with all the unknowns. I don’t like a lot of risk!

Of course, in a perfect world, I would love to know all the details and have all my plans figured out in advance. But for me, that’s where faith comes in!

“Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see” (Hebrews 11:1, NLT). In the midst of Life’s uncertainties, we can trust God’s plan.

God already sees the end from the beginning. His plan for you is GOOD and He’s given you everything you need to follow that plan. Yes, He’s got you covered!

Those who know me well would say I am a thorough decision-maker and planner. But some choices are worth more than others. And at times, I have two options that appear equally beneficial. Occasionally, I have the luxury of putting off a decision; I can delay making a choice until I have more details.

While that stability is great overall, it can also make me slow to make changes. Sometimes big decisions won’t wait that long! My ‘strength’ can become a weakness when I really should jump… instead of stall!

Thankfully, I have several steps to help me decide faster when I need to!

It’s not a formula, but it does help me avoid regret!

1.     First, I pray for wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it! I picked up this phrase from a friend, but I like the dual purpose. I usually remember to pray for wisdom, but sometimes I can still be afraid to do what I need to do. I cannot make wise decisions if I am not seeking the Lord. At the same time, I cannot move forward without courage. More often than not, this means doing it afraid!

2.     Next, I make a pros and cons list. This seems obvious, but once I get all the information down on paper, it stops swirling around in my head. As the fog of indecision lifts, I gain clarity on what really matters.

3.     Then, I consider my feelings and motivations. While I can’t make decisions based on feelings alone, I do gather input. Am I excited about this opportunity? Do I feel strongly that it is important? Why do I want to do this?

4.     Taking it one step further, I separate my passion from my feelings. Each of us was born for a unique, God-given mission. Our passion can point us in the right direction. That doesn’t mean it is easy, however! In fact, it can be tempting to give up or walk away when challenges come. The danger is that we may not fulfill God’s call on our lives. Often, those tough moments are what God uses to refine us. So, I discern whether I need to stick with the commitment…and lay aside my feelings…or forgive someone…or make other changes. If God leads me to something, I can trust Him for the next steps in His timing. I don’t want to quit when God wants me to stay and grow!

5.     I also review some lessons learned from Lysa TerKeurst’s book, The Best Yes. In brief, this includes counting the personal cost. Do I have the time, resources, and energy for this? How will it affect my family and other commitments? (and much more!)

6.     I consider the long-term impact of my choice. How will I feel about this in 6 months? 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? (You get the idea.) If we are not careful, we might make decisions too quickly without considering the sustainability of the choice.

7.     Last but certainly not least, I seek wise counsel. When weighing every option is too much for me on my own, I need help. This is NOT rehashing my problems with everyone I meet. This is intentional discussion with those who love me enough to tell me the Truth. I present the facts, concerns, pros and cons to those I trust so they can give me feedback. Typically I ask for input from godly people who are older and wiser (or, someone who has been through something similar). I regularly ask my parents, aunts/uncles, pastors, and other friends who have insight to share.

For me, many of these steps are fluid. I may go back and forth between them until I have peace. If I don’t have peace, I hold off until I do. This has saved me so many times!

Praise God…Jesus is the Prince of Peace!

Then, I sit back and have confidence. I know I gave it my best shot. And, if for any reason I was wrong, God still has my back. It might be a learning experience or a blessing in disguise. He will work it out for my good and His glory!

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Father God, thank You for grace and love! Thank You for providing peace and joy as we serve You. Please give us courage as we make wise decisions, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you make decisions? Do you have anything to add to the list above?

Task: Identify one or two trusted friends or advisors the next time you make a big decision!