Tag: grief

Posted on in Being Gracious, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Kindness, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Wisdom, Worship

Holding Space During the Holidays

Well, we made it to December! It has already been an interesting month. On Monday, we had work and school, followed by a funeral and a class in the evening. It was a lot to juggle!

The funeral was for a thirteen-year-old girl, someone Lydia knew a bit from church. They were in the youth group together, though they went to different schools. They were two months apart, so her sudden death was very sad and shocking. We attended the visitation (skipping the funeral) because I also needed to take Lydia home before returning for my church leadership class in a separate area.

Free Wreath Flowers photo and picture

The funeral was still happening when I walked back into the building, and I heard several students talking about how the girl had made a difference in their lives. She loved Jesus and seemed to be very sweet and encouraging.

My class was the final meeting of the semester, and we had pizza for dinner, a lesson on prayer, and then a white elephant gift exchange! It was a lot of fun, and I am so grateful to have the opportunity.

During the training, we prayed for the family of the girl who died. We discussed how to hold space for these two different events of the night – the funeral and the training/party. We can rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.

It’s not easy, but it is important to honor the sadness and grief while also moving forward and celebrating Life. The holidays seem to be full of these situations, don’t they?

This year feels like it flew by, with so many personal wins, but there’s also sadness because my mom died in February. This time of year is challenging for other reasons anyway, including Dave’s birthday, Christmas, and the fact that he’s not here either.

But, I also recognize how GOOD God is through all of it. Jesus very much understands the dual nature of sorrow and joy. He was a Man of Sorrows, yet He also possessed the fullness of God’s joy (Psalm 16:11). Somehow, He held both simultaneously and remained faithful to His mission.

If Jesus can hold space for emotional duality, so can we. I know from experience this is true. While I don’t know what you are facing this Christmas season, Jesus does. He loves you deeply and cares about your concerns.

It is okay to feel conflicted, whatever you are experiencing. None of it is a surprise to the Lord. Take a little time to rest. Then, bring all of your emotions to Jesus and let Him help you sort them out. He really wants to be there for you, if you will let Him.

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Father God, thank you for the gift of Life and for emotions to express how we feel. Help us hold space for all You are doing in us and through us this holiday season. Bring us comfort and peace as we trust You and lean into all You have for us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How are you holding up so far this week? Do you have any helpful tips for the holiday season?

Task: Take a few minutes and check in with Jesus and tell Him how you really feel. Don’t stay stuck in your emotions; let them be indicators, not dictators.

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Prayer

Finding Grace #502

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Autumn Forest photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was another week of hustling!

We served in the kids’ ministry at church on Sunday, and I squeezed in a quick walk with a friend. Then, we ran home to get Lydia packed for Congress before her team left on the bus.

Lydia was gone all day Monday, but did really well at Congress. She gave four of her speeches and scored high enough to place! It was a cool end to her first season!

My Monday was very full but good. I stayed close to Jesus and enjoyed several church-related events. I’m grateful.

On Tuesday evening, we attended a golden birthday party for one of Lydia’s school friends. If you recall, we met a family from Africa a few years ago at the bus stop. Over time, we have seen less of them since they have gotten more settled. We enjoyed catching up, eating really good food, and enjoying their culture and traditions. And, they sent us home with leftovers!

Wednesday was my mom’s birthday. We all miss her so much, but we are doing well. And, she is with the very One who loves her the most. So, while we are sad, we are also happy for her and proud of her!

At work, I felt like I was chasing my tail all week, and I was only there four days! 🙂 I barely stayed on top of my charting, but somehow did. I know God was helping me all along the way. I had nice patients and accomplished a lot. Thanks, Lord!

On Thursday night, I dropped off Lydia and a friend at church for a youth convention that went through today. It was a funny week because I was pretty much on my own for much of it (Sunday, Monday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday).

Yesterday after work, I met up with my coworker, Natalie, to hang out again. (She is off on maternity leave.) She had her new baby girl and her older son, who did not have preschool that day. It was fun to spend time together, and we visited a church ministry on the NDSU campus before getting coffee!

After that, I went to Menards and then finished up some outdoor projects at home… while catching up with my sister on the phone. Next, I did some studying and watched a movie. It was a fulfilling day!

This week, the weather definitely felt more like Fall! It was a little chilly, overcast, windy, and rainy. I didn’t mind too much and am thankful it wasn’t snow!

Today was a fairly restful Saturday. I did some studying before running errands and picking up Lydia from the youth convention. She had a big week and ended up resting for quite a while after that! After a three-hour nap, I had to wake her up!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

Finding Grace #497

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Flower Impatiens photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was both hectic and heavy, but there was still a bit of joy and grace.

I have had a tension headache for several days, which may, in part, just be related to various stressors. Nothing unusual, just lots of things all at once. Mowing, cleaning, studying, parenting, work, etc. I saw the chiropractor on Monday and am starting to feel a bit better now.

I was saddened and disturbed about Charlie Kirk’s death, and it is awful all around, not to mention the internet comments, which I mostly avoided. While I don’t know that much about him, I can understand the element of grief. It made me want to vomit when I heard the news. I did not watch the actual footage, and I probably never will. Each person has their own perspective, so I don’t need to add my two cents. I will share what one pastor said, however: Grieve. Share Truth boldly. Proclaim Christ. Love. Do not fear. Walk by faith.

We had a new baby girl born this week on our team! We now have two ladies out on maternity leave, and the first one out brought in her adorable 2.5-month-old twin girls. I got to hold one of them, and we made lots of smiley faces at each other. I can’t wait to meet the new little baby sometime, too!

Work itself was busy as usual. I had some time to prepare for a talk I’m giving on Monday. We are shifting things around for coverage, too. I stayed a couple of extra hours on Friday to help out. I’m grateful that God always helps me get things done!

Yesterday, my mother-in-law came to visit! We went shopping and out to eat. We also walked around some flower gardens and did some fall activities. We always have fun when she comes! It should be a relaxing weekend, which is just what I need.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting

Finding Grace #490

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week has been pretty calm, compared to some weeks! 

Work was steady but good. No big changes this week, lol. Visiting the chiropractor was greatly needed and appreciated; I am glad to have access to quality healthcare benefits. I feel way better than I did a year ago!

I talked with one of my best friends late one night. We always end up laughing a lot. We’ve been playing phone tag for a while, but finally managed to catch up just as I was ready to turn out the light and go to bed. It was worth staying up another forty-five minutes to chat with her! Good friends are good for the heart!

On Thursday, Lydia got her final orthodontic retainers (meaning she doesn’t have her Invisalign trays anymore). The change was rather subtle since she didn’t have actual braces this time. She did when she was seven, but we opted for the trays a year and a half ago instead. She’s happy with the transformation and will soon only have to wear the trays overnight.

Yesterday, I dropped off Lydia and a friend at the Redhawks baseball game, where they met the youth group for a fun outing! After that, I visited the NDSU horticulture research plot nearby. I took several pretty pictures of flowers (phlox above) and reminisced about the times I would call my mom from there to tell her about the flowers and get her insights on life. She’s been gone five months, and it seems like forever.

After we arrived home from the Redhawks, Lydia was in the mood to chat. It’s always at bedtime, lol! But, as my dad reminded me this morning on a phone call, these times go by so fast, and it’s good to be available for her. Lydia did say she’s glad she can tell me anything, so I’m grateful to take advantage of the opportunity!

Today, we are mostly relaxing after a late night and sleeping in. Tonight, we worked out together for a little bit and then played three mean games of Sorry!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward book, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

A “With Us” God

This week, I am praying and reflecting on the great losses of life and property in recent Texas floods. Natural disasters, like fires, earthquakes, and hurricanes, have also happened, though the Texas floods hit home because Lydia is at camp this week.

In the midst of tragedy, including wars, people tend to ask “Why didn’t God prevent this?” and Where is God in all of this?” I don’t have all the answers, but I have asked those same questions. I am absolutely sure He is right in it with us. He is Emmanuel, God with us, or as someone once said, He is a “with us” God.

God is outside of Time, but He’s right here, too. He can be everywhere all at once. There’s no place He’d rather be than with those He loves.

God is a loving Father who fights for His children. He, too, faced heartbreaking loss when Jesus died on the cross. Jesus could have shunned the cross, but He knew it was the only way. In fact, this was His redemptive plan from before the beginning of Time. So, I don’t know His purposes in Texas, but I know He understands and grieves with us.

Free Poland Castle photo and picture

God is our refuge and shield. He is a safe place, a hiding place. We can run to Him for protection. As we draw near to Him, He draws near to us. I imagine God holding and carrying the girls from Mystic Camp, along with so many others who were swept into the water. I am praying everyone is found.

God’s delay is not absence or apathy. His timing is just different, and His ways are higher than ours. He is sovereign over the good and bad. (He does not send bad things upon us, but uses them for our eventual good.) We can trust Him even when we can’t see how it all turns out.

Our Heavenly Father helps us deal with fear, and He comforts us in our grief. We, too, are called to mourn with those who mourn; we can pour out all our emotions to Jesus because He cares for us.

As sad as tragedies are, I cannot imagine facing them without Jesus because He is our only Hope. Every day, we are getting closer to when Jesus will come back. One could say things will continue to get worse before they get better…

Nonetheless, our main focus is to stay close to Jesus and keep our eyes on Him. Whatever you are facing today, lean into God’s love, mercy, and grace. He is faithful and good.

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Father God, thanks for being with us in the good and bad. Please be with those in Texas who are dealing with the aftermath of the flooding. Give them Your comfort and peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you reconcile life’s tragedies? Do you turn to Jesus or your own insights?

Task: Read Psalm 91. When the unfathomable occurs, bring everything to the Only One who can hold it all together and work it out for your good and His glory. It will take time, and you may never fully understand it, but He can handle all that concerns you.

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

Microwave Christians

I was reviewing some notes on my phone yesterday and found a few comments I saved for later. These were some things I discussed with my dad in February, when Lydia and I visited my parents one week before my mom died.

We were eating dinner one night at Cracker Barrel. We weren’t too hungry, but I wanted to make sure Dad had something good to eat. He was tired from weeks of being stretched, and we were trying to make sense of the situation. Over biscuits and cornbread, we talked about how we need to lean on God and trust Him during trials.

Dad mentioned how many Jesus followers are “microwave Christians” in that they have no patience and want life to go their way, right away. Ding! But we can’t get by just pressing buttons and hoping for the best. God calls us to go deeper with Him.

Free Marguerite Close Up photo and picture

Then, we compared other kitchen gadgets and how they take a long time to work, but accomplish much more satisfying results. A “pressure cooker Christian” develops an intensity during trials. It’s extreme but yields a tender heart, pliable for doing God’s work. A “rotisserie Christian” may face the same situation repeatedly, always coming back around. But, those trials also serve their purpose: a softened heart understands God’s grace and can nourish others in the Truth.

We could make other parallels, such as a “crockpot Christian” or an “oven-baked Christian.” Haha, maybe not! If anything, these are best seen as we marinate or stew in God’s goodness. In doing so, we let Him have His way in our lives, slowly and steadily waiting for Him.

Also, don’t get me started on a “deep-fat-fryer Christian!” As a Registered Dietitian, I’d recommend an air-fryer and using minimal oil, if any at all! 😉

Looking at this another way, we see that very few things in Nature happen quickly. Mammals tend to have a long gestation period before the baby is born. Flowers take days and weeks to grow leaves and stems before blooming. Trees grow only one ring each year. Good things take time!

Overall, we can see that in trials, we need to settle in for the long haul, becoming all God has for us. As Dad said, “How will you learn to wait upon the Lord, if you don’t ever have to wait upon the Lord? Or, how will you learn to persevere in faith, if your faith is never tested?”

We can’t run away or bypass trials. We can’t just push the “easy button.” With God’s help, we can bear up under the weight of our trials and choose to be cheerful in affliction…

Trials are a guaranteed part of life. Romans 5:3-5 (NIV) says, “…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.“

I also love James 1:4-5 (NIV), which says, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.“

Today, resist acting like a microwave Christian and settle into God’s mercy, grace, and provision. He is faithful and more than able to bring you through… until Christ is formed in you (Galatians 4:19).

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God, thanks for being with us in trials. May we grow in perseverance, character, and hope so we can be mature in Christ, lacking nothing. May we yield to the Holy Spirit as He refines us! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Which kitchen tool do you identify with the most, based on the explanation above? How can you trust God more as you face trials?

Tasks: Consider how your current circumstances are growing you and making you more like Jesus. Pray for wisdom and strength, and be prepared to dig deep!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #480

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week overall. Mother’s Day was tough, but we made the best of it. We toasted my mom over Zoom and shared some funny stories about her.

Lydia had her last seventh-grade orchestra concert this week. I enjoyed the Vivaldi compilation of different seasons. I enjoyed seeing how much she has learned and grown!

We had a lot of heat at the beginning of the week, and mostly rainy and chilly later on. I didn’t mind either! 🙂

Work was pretty busy with patient care. We also learned of a third coworker’s pregnancy (surprise!), so we will have staggered maternity leaves likely starting next month through early spring next year. That should be interesting, though I am sure we will handle it just fine. In fact, we have a decent amount of experience with maternity coverage, since this makes baby #13 since I’ve been at the VA (<6 years)! 😀

On Thursday, we celebrated Dave’s life and memory. I took off work and did various things around the house. I read, took a nap, did a little organizing, and just relaxed. In the evening, we ate taco pizza with a friend. We reminisced about Dave and how we used to all hang out together. It made me laugh a bit!

I was blessed to receive cards, gifts, and flowers this week. My sister sent flowers for Mother’s Day, and my friend brought flowers on Thursday. Lydia, well, she used her own gift card to buy me flowers online for Mother’s Day. However, she forgot to add our house number, and so there was a delay. After the snafu was resolved, I got a new order delivered on Thursday. It turned out to be a good day!

Today, I was on call for work. I did get called in, but it wasn’t too difficult. Later, Lydia stopped by a high school graduation party. An old coworker and I shared an office for the first five or six years of my grief. We both helped each other with various challenges, so it was good to go and celebrate her daughter! I hope to get together for coffee soon!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward book, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Pivot

Twelve Years

This week, I am reflecting on God’s work in my life and how far He has brought me. Tomorrow, May 15th, marks twelve years since Dave went to be with Jesus. His death seems like yesterday, but also a lifetime ago. I have grown so much, but at the same time, I am still finding my way.
The picture below popped up in my memories last night. This was taken the day before Dave came home sick from work, starting our chaotic year (May 2012-May 2013). We both looked so calm, like we didn’t have a care in the world. How quickly that would change!
I’ll take the day off work tomorrow to give myself some space to feel and do whatever is needed. I don’t quite know what I will do yet, but I have some ideas. In the evening, Lydia and I will celebrate Dave’s life with a friend who knew him here. He loved tacos and pizza, so we are planning to get… taco pizza in his honor. 😉 I also have a pretty necklace to give Lydia, keeping up my tradition of making the day something to celebrate, not dread.
Naturally, it is a little bittersweet, but God has been so, so good to me. He has been my Rock and always sees to it that I have what I need. God has given me Lydia, and she is such a gift. He helps me parent her, sometimes in very creative ways! God has provided for me financially through work and other means, and He has given me a solid community of support, both near and far. Thank you!
This week is also tough as we celebrated the first Mother’s Day without my mom. Mom loved Dave as much as she loved my brothers. It brings me comfort knowing they are together again! I am inspired by how they never complained about their agonizing pain or struggle. In both cases, they sought Jesus right up until the end. Although their bodies gave out, they finished their races strong.
We can’t have great victories if we never have a battle, and we can’t celebrate a win if we don’t fight through something first. Life has many unexpected twists and turns, but we can always trust God. None of this is ever easy, but God is always with me. And, if you turn to Him, He will be with you, too!
Of course, we love and miss Dave and Mom so much. Grief is a long-term thing, but it’s hard to stay sad for long when I think about them in Heaven. They are safe, secure, and whole. More alive than ever before. And someday soon, all of God’s plans will fully come together. Those who belong to Jesus in Heaven and on Earth will be reunited. What joy that will be!
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Father in Heaven, You have been so, so good to me. Thanks for Your faithfulness and grace. May my life point others to You and bring You glory. Help me keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: How do you celebrate the memory of those you love who have died? Have you accepted God’s free gift of salvation through Jesus? (Don’t delay, do it today!)
Tasks: Listen to this song, “Been So Good,” by Elevation Worship. Take some time to look back on how God has been so good to you. If interested, check out my book!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Gratitude, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Prayer, Travel, Wisdom, Worship

Trusting When We Cannot See

This season is full of opportunities to trust God. Often, we have to make a decision when we don’t know the full picture of what He is doing. It seems God asks us to trust Him at a new level every so often (if not daily). Yet, we don’t have to lay aside our questions or logic. Trusting God does not mean ‘blind faith.’ We may not fully see what He is doing, but we can see that He has a good track record!

We can trust everything He does. Even when we can’t quite see the full picture in our own lives, we can trace His faithfulness through Scripture. The main thing is not to get stuck on our questions or logic… in order to trust, we still have to take action!

Free Building Porch photo and picture

“When you can’t see God’s hand, trust His heart.” — Emily P. Freeman

I came across this quote again recently, and it struck me a little differently than before. Previously, I focused on the word hand in terms of a physical body part. This time, however, I thought of a deck of cards, where hands are dealt. Depending on the game played, we may not see all the cards at once! God does not play games with our hearts, and we can trust His. 

God also doesn’t ask us to trust Him for no reason. He loves us and has the best things in store for us. As we see in Ephesians 2:10 (NIV), “…we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” We just have to walk them out. 

God continually shows me His faithfulness. Yesterday marked two months since my mom finished her race and entered Heaven. It has been difficult, but I am grateful that people are still encouraging us, especially my dad. Thank you!!

Free Door Building photo and picture

Lydia is going on a school trip to Washington, DC, next week, and although it was my idea to send her, I need to trust God for her safety, health, provision, etc. I know she will have a great time and will make many memories as she spreads her wings. Thankfully, she already has experience traveling and being apart from me, thanks to summer camp the last few years.

I am also trusting God with summer plans and some opportunities in the fall. Remember, I am a planner and like to get my ducks in a row! But, sometimes, I just have to wait and have faith. In time, I will know more details. God always provides them on time, though in my humanity, I like to know early! 🙂

This season, I am reminded of how God cares for all His birds. I have woken up to the robins, sparrows, purple house finches, and others singing their songs of praise. I have seen a Northern Flicker grace my yard for a few minutes, too. If they can trust God to provide for them amid the uncertain rain, wind, and various temperatures, then I can too!

While waiting for God, I can worship and keep praying for wisdom and discernment. I can take the first step without worrying about making a mistake. I can rest knowing He will redirect me as needed. I can even “borrow faith” from someone else’s journey until mine strengthens!

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God, thanks for all Your loving care and provision. You are so good to me. Help me trust You more, even in uncertain times. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Where are you in your faith journey? How can you trust God and keep moving forward?

Task: Listen to the song, “Sparrows,” by Cory Asbury. Think about how much God loves you and takes care of you!

Posted on in Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Gratitude, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #475

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Bird Female Northern Cardinal photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a pretty good week.

Work was busy as usual. On my lunch break, I was able to take a couple of walks and enjoy the nice weather. I also had a couple of patients who each knew Jesus. I could tell by their clothing and the sweet atmosphere. At the end of our appointment, we talked about faith, family, and God’s provision. It was nice for them to ask me questions and listen to me tell them (briefly) about my mom and Dave.

The weather this week grew nicer day by day. There are lots of birds chirping even before sunrise, and the grass is starting to turn green. I stopped by Trefoil Park one day after work to see the river. Nature can be so peaceful!

I went to the movie theater for the third week in a row. Yesterday, I watched The Chosen, Season 5, Episodes 6, 7, and 8. It was so good. It was humorous at times, but also poignant. I appreciated seeing Scripture play out, and I am still thinking about it all. Go see it if you can!

Lydia attended week two of her rifle class. She’s doing so well, and really could be a natural… like her Mom. 😉 She is tightening up her groupings and is right on target.

This morning, we got out the door early for haircuts and a little shopping. For lunch, we used an old gift card for Olive Garden and took home some leftovers. The rest of the day has been spent catching up on Saturday things. I’m grateful for the slower pace!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!