Back in September, I wrote a post entitled, “Immigrant Introductions,” where I mentioned my new neighbors, who are from South Africa. If you recall, I was concerned about them finding some snow gear!
Well, here is a little bit of an update! The wife/mother is really sweet and sometimes calls to check in. Last Friday, I missed her call but texted her back. She replied that she was just missing us, and as soon as I read that, it struck me that she was also probably missing her family (thousands of miles away).
I prayed about what to do, and within a few minutes, I invited them all over to our house to visit. I am so glad I did!
Of course, everyone needs food, but we also use it for social occasions. Food is welcoming, eases us into conversation when needed, and it can serve as a way to share cultures. One of the things I love about being a dietitian is that food is always applicable!
As I considered what food to serve our guests, I thought about starches. Common all over the world, breads, rolls, flatbreads, rice, oats, potatoes, corn, etc. are always familiar and tend to bring comfort. (In our American context, we are privileged to be able to choose or not choose these foods as we see fit and to meet our goals, but others around the world often don’t have that luxury.)
Indeed, I considered what my other African friends would recommend. I recalled that one of my Kenyan friends survived on bread and rolls for his first few months in America – he wasn’t sure what to make of all the other foods! A friend from Ghana loves to bake, and she has a penchant for banana bread, which she first had in Fargo. 🙂
Now, I could have made some treats, but I really didn’t have a lot of time to bake. So, I bought some items to share: banana bread, donut holes, and some tiny cinnamon roll bites from the local grocery store’s bakery section. We don’t buy these often, but it was perfect for a family of five, plus Lydia and me. We already had some little tangerines and kiwis on hand, so we were set.
On Sunday afternoon, they ran from their apartment building to our house. We started talking easily, and Lydia played some games with the three kids – two boys and a girl. It was good for her to share her toys because as an only child, she really doesn’t get many opportunities! It’s easy to share toys in public, but when they are yours, it’s different.
We adults had a lot to talk about! We discussed American holidays, including upcoming days off school, such as Veterans day, Thanksgiving, and so on. The mom’s birthday is on Black Friday, so I explained what that is, and we joked that she might find some good deals. I briefly explained my story of how Dave and I came to Fargo and how he died when Lydia was little. We talked a little about cancer, and I showed them Dave’s picture. They were kind and sympathetic.
They told me of their arrival in America. They flew into New York, then took the Amtrak train all the way to North Dakota. They were amazed at the variety of landscapes, and also how most people used credit cards – not cash, which was all they had. Someone kindly bought them food because the train vendor couldn’t make the change they needed. Through their comments, I gathered the cost of food feels high to them and that they are shopping at some of the local thrift stores. (They are still looking for adequate snow gear).
We discussed working in healthcare – they are both nurses. He is already working at a local hospital, and she is still studying for her American nursing exam (NCLEX). They loved hearing about how I work with Veterans. This led to talking a little about politics, and it was fascinating to hear what these new immigrants had already learned about American politics. Because I am a federal employee, I didn’t say too much, but they clearly have opinions about us in other countries!
After a little while, I invited them to the table to eat. I served coffee, tea, a fizzy fruit drink, and apple juice (certainly a treat for us, too!). I’m happy to report they loved the food overall. I explained what each item was, and sure enough, they enjoyed the banana bread! I also verified that they had found good grocery stores including some of the African markets, so they can find foods they like and that meet their needs.
Ironically, the kids still had their own preferences and ways of eating as American kids do. One wanted a little butter but was bummed her mom spread it so thin. One took a couple extra pieces of banana bread, and then was made to eat it all to avoid waste. One was scolded when they asked for a second donut hole. They all enjoyed precisely one kiwi each since they are ‘very expensive’ where they come from. It was funny but also humbling.
Besides the warm conversation, my favorite part was when we were cleaning up. Of course, the mom wanted to help clean up. I looked over to the kitchen, and there she was washing the dishes (mostly plates and forks).
I said, “Oh, no! You are my guest. Don’t worry about that. Why don’t you go sit down.”
She was determined, her hands full of soapy water. Then, I remembered that she is a mother and changed tactics.
I smiled at her and said, “You know, I will have Lydia do these later. It will be a good lesson for her in hospitality and service.” Immediately, she laughed knowingly and agreed to save the dishes for Lydia. Motherhood for the win!
All in all, we had a great visit. It was amazing to know these friends are so different, yet we have a lot in common. We enjoy good food, fun, and family, but we also have the fellowship of Jesus! We have different church backgrounds, but that really doesn’t matter. God calls every tribe, every tongue, and every nation unto Himself. How wonderful!
Our guests were conscious of the time and stayed about two hours, then told the kids to clean up and say thank you. Good parenting is not limited to one culture or another! In fact, all five of them said thank you about twenty times! I hope we will see them again soon. Already on Monday, the kids eagerly waved to Lydia on the bus!
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Gracious Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of friendship and hospitality. I pray these new friends will feel welcome and continue to adjust. Please keep them safe in their new surroundings. Help me be a good neighbor and friend. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Questions: What are the go-to foods that you serve when people come over? Have you had anyone new over lately?
Tasks: Take a leap of faith and invite someone to your home, or take them out for coffee or tea (consider splurging on one or two treats!).
