Forty-Year Tune-Up!!

Woohoo! In a couple of days, I am celebrating my fortieth birthday! That sounds a little crazy because I still feel like I am twenty-five!

My thirties started off with Dave being sick and then dying, so the majority of that decade was dedicated to processing my grief and making sense of my new life as a widowed, single mom.

I learned how resilient I am and what it means to cling to Jesus. I quickly realized there are no shortcuts when it comes to emotional healing. You have to put in the effort, be willing to accept help, and let God carry you sometimes. The only way through is through.

One big part of processing my grief was writing about my journey here. So thanks for reading, praying, and cheering me on! I appreciate you all.

I also spent a significant amount of my thirties writing and editing my book, Fear, Faith, and Moving Forward. It was a labor of love, and I am proud that I finally pulled it off! I am beyond pleased with how my book turned out, and I really appreciate the continued support and feedback. Thank you!!

In short, my thirties were rough at times, but I learned to roll with the punches. God was reliable and gracious. He lead me to higher ground and has let me help others through their grief. I can’t thank Him enough!

Free illustrations of Watercolour flowers

Over the last year, I have been learning how to take better care of myself. This is an ongoing thing, which includes continuing to chase seven or eight hours of sleep, exercise consistently, and eating well. That’s all great currently, but in a couple of weeks things will shift again as we acclimate to the new school schedule. That’s life, right?!

This year, I went to the doctor for my toe (of all things, lol!). Later, I went for my routine physical and a couple of new tests. I found a chiropractor I love and now have a lot less pain, too! It’s like I have had a forty-year tune-up! 🙂

Really, I look at it as setting myself up for success. Not everything can be prevented, but I want to do what I can. That said, you can do ‘everything right,’ and something wild comes from out of left field. But, we can learn to trust God no matter what.

While I have been working hard, I have also been learning to rest more in God’s grace. Thankfully, He is patient with me! I am excited to see where He leads and how He continues to provide for me. He has never let me down!

Lately, I find myself smiling and laughing a lot. I have found joy in clarifying my priorities. It’s a balance of finding ways to care for myself and others, including Lydia. This also includes letting go of what doesn’t serve me anymore and not taking myself so seriously!

Over these last few weeks, I have enjoyed looking back and seeing God’s faithfulness. I am grateful for the Victories He has given me over these forty years, and especially the last ten years. He is so good!

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God, thanks for an amazing forty years! This is just a flash of time to You, but You are so kind to let me walk with You. Thanks for taking care of all that concerns me. Help me walk with more grace and joy in this new decade! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How has God been good to you so far this year? What Victories do you see?

Tasks: Take a few minutes to reflect on how far God has brought you in the last few months or years. Write it down so you can remember it! (It’s easy to forget otherwise!)

Finding Grace #334

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This felt like a short week!! Several parts were out of our normal routine, which made time fly by. Overall, it was a good week, and I just rolled with everything. I’m always grateful for all the ways God takes care of us.

On Sunday morning, we arrived home around 3 a.m. from our family reunion. After sleeping in a bit, Lydia got up and carpooled to camp! She had a lot of fun!

I was off work on Monday, as a planned day to get things done. I was able to organize several parts of my house, which felt amazing. I cleaned up the office/overflow room, and I moved some things around. It was so nice to have a whole block of uninterrupted time to focus! That doesn’t happen very often!

I worked a couple of normal days and then a couple of partial days. Lydia got sick, so I was able to take some sick leave to be with her. I was glad for the flexibility to take some time off and for great coworkers who could cover for me. It was good for me to have some time to rest, too.

Indeed, it was a funny work week, as I was also on-call today after previously swapping with someone! A coworker kindly offered to go in for me, if needed. Thankfully, Lydia was feeling pretty good, so I was able to work when I was called in, after all.

 The weather was beautiful this week, and I enjoyed the sunshine and blue skies! It has been a beautiful summer, and I am trying to absorb as much of it as I can!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Comfort Amid Grief

Sometimes you are in the right place at the right time, and sometimes, that place is church! This past Sunday, I had a God moment at church that I want to share with you.

About a year ago, I met a woman and her husband. They had been watching online through much of COVID, but I met them the first Sunday they decided to “try out” our church in person.

They were really sweet, and I was glad to meet them. Flash forward to the present, and the husband’s dementia has progressed. He is now in a nursing home, about an hour and a half away. His dear wife visits him every other day, though he does not fully recognize her.

I have encouraged this wife whenever I see her; she has become a friend. Though my experience was with cancer, I know how it feels to be a caregiver and decision maker in an end-of-life situation. Watching your beloved spouse decline is difficult, and I have been cheering her on.

So, when I saw this lady on Sunday, I stopped to greet her after the service. She was so happy to see me and shared how she had been struggling. I affirmed her statement that she is already grieving, though her husband is still alive. I agreed with her sentiment that she hopes he “goes soon” rather than have this continue over months or years. (Either way, we know he is in God’s hands and that his suffering is not in vain.)

I listened while my friend conveyed her lack of motivation. In these challenging times, I confirmed it is normal to need to get groceries but feel overwhelmed leaving the house; or, to finally prepare a meal but have no desire to eat it.

She mentioned she keeps forgetting about a support group at the VA (where I work), and I coached her with some tips. Marking her calendar in advance, while she is thinking about it, might help her not feel surprised whenever she gets a same-day reminder.

I also offered to help connect her with someone at the VA who could help guide her through the funeral and cemetery details (when the time comes). As she talked it through, she started to smile, and I could see her burden was lifted a little.

I gave this dear woman a big hug, and she just fell into my arms. I prayed for her on the spot, and she just melted in surrender. Not that my words were so deep, in fact, they were rather simple, but she felt seen and understood. She said it was just what she needed.

We only talked for a few minutes after the service, but it felt like a God-ordained moment for both of us. I am grateful He has used my story and experiences to help and guide others along the way.

I was reminded that we don’t JUST go to church to worship God but to be His hands and feet. My friend said, “And to think, I wasn’t even feeling up to coming today. I was going to stay home and watch online. But now, I am so glad I came.”

2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT, says that God “comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

During the well-timed sermon, our pastor mentioned this all is like a game of tag. God comforts us…and then it’s our turn to comfort others with the peace, strength, and grace He has given us. Tag! You’re it!

So, don’t discount your story or experiences. God can use all your pain, grief, and life’s ups and downs to make something beautiful… if you let Him!

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God, thanks for my friend. Would You please encourage, strengthen, and comfort her? Please meet her needs (spoken and unspoken) and remind her of Your grace and love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you seen God at work in your life story? Have you seen Him use your pain and grief in someone else’s life?

Task: Listen to this song! God will never fail you, no matter what.

Finding Grace #332

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a really fun week!! You can read some of what happened in Wednesday’s blog post, but the rest of the week was great, too!

On Sunday, we went to a dear friend’s baby shower. This is her first baby, and it is a cool miracle story. It’s not really my place to tell it, but it is wonderful to see God’s faithfulness in giving her what she has desired for so long. We had a lot of fun celebrating her and can’t wait to meet her little baby girl.

On Wednesday evening, we took care of our neighbors’ cats while they were out of town. We fed them and played with them. One is a Maine Coon, and the other is a Persian. They are as gorgeous as they are sweet! I sent a couple pictures to family, and my two-year-old nephew was so excited that he video called me! That was a first, and I was honored (even though it was a mistake). 🙂

We had beautiful weather this week, warm and sunny but not humid. On Thursday, we had a gentle rain, and everything greened up again! It was perfect!

Work went well, and I worked extra on Friday again. It gave me a little extra time to get things done, but I also saw a few patients. We also had a going away party for my coworker. We had some treats and enjoyed our time together. We will miss having her on our team, but we know she will do well in Colorado!

Today, we prepared for the coming week, and now a friend is over to visit. We might order some Chinese food and watch a movie, but it is always fun to see them either way!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #330

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a full week, but most of it was fairly normal!!

One highlight was meeting with a recently widowed single mom on Monday. We had a great time together, and I think it was just what we both needed!

On Tuesday, we met with some dear friends who are moving in the next couple of weeks. The couple was featured in my book and really were there for us when Dave was sick and after he died. We will miss them, but I am excited for them to be closer to the grandkids and a new work opportunity.

Yesterday, after work, I met with another friend for coffee. She’s been through a lot in the last few years, and it was good to catch up. I’m grateful for how God has carried her through life’s challenges. He always meets us right where we are!

This weekend, we are puppy-sitting for another friend who is moving away. Hazel is half-Dalmatian/half GSP. She is six months, forty-three pounds, long and lean! She loves to explore, and we have been enjoying lots of neighborhood walks! Thankfully, she is fairly well-behaved for a puppy and Lydia is having fun! 

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Pivot

It’s only the middle of the week, but already it has been jam-packed with God’s grace! I have had so many connections with people, including family, friends, and Veterans.

Almost all of the conversations, however, have been unplanned. It always seems these types of things go in spurts. I usually have fairly routine interactions with people, but sometimes they go into overdrive! I’ve had heartfelt conversations with family and coworkers and some breakthrough sessions with patients.

This week, I also met with a recently widowed mom from church. She reached out and just needed a little direction. She has been reading my book, and I am so glad God is using my painful grief experiences to help her. We went to dinner and had so much fun! I’m sure we will do it again soon.

In order to meet with this friend, though, I had to figure out what to do with Lydia last minute. Thankfully, she had been with another family that day (for an art class and swimming), so she was able to stay a little longer with them. She ate dinner with them and attend one of their son’s baseball games. Whew!

It takes a village, and I was grateful. God organized all the details for me, so I could do what He wanted me to do. I also have made plans with a couple of other friends and families later in the week. Summer is in full swing!

Over and over, this week, it seems like I have been in the right place at the right time. It’s cool how when God does something big in our lives (or those we know), it helps others have faith, too. They see a breakthrough and trust Him for greater things in their lives!

Free photos of Dortmund hbf

I usually try to be flexible, as much as I can, so I am available to serve those around me. But, sometimes it bites me. What I mean is that I try to bend in so many ways, that I can’t meet everyone’s needs or timing. Either I stress about it or I have to say no when someone needs help.

I have learned that’s okay. I don’t have to stand in God’s place! Only He can be all things to all people! I just have to be willing to pivot when God needs me. We can choose to have a good attitude and take it in stride, or we can drag our feet.

Isn’t God good to lead us? If we walk closely with Him and move when He needs us to move, we will never be out of step. He teaches us not only to pivot, but He also helps us navigate tricky situations. Sometimes that means repentance (confessing wrong choices and going the opposite direction) and sometimes it means opening up ourselves to new challenges and blessings.

In fact, you have likely had to make many pivots in the last two years alone. We’ve seen a wild collection of health issues, finances, politics, elections, and the economy!

But, remember this: A pivot is more than just fancy footwork. It opens up new opportunities and blessings! So, check your attitude and keep moving forward!

When plans change and we need to pivot, we also see God’s faithfulness. He is still in control and still at work in us and around us.

So, we don’t need to fear saying yes to God, and we don’t have to fear when He says no on our behalf. We can trust Him; He has us covered!

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God, thanks for working on our behalf and helping us pivot when needed. May we hear Your voice above all the chaos and even our own desires. Help us stay in step with You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you good at switching plans at a moment’s notice? Or is it more of a challenge for you to pivot?

Tasks: Next time you need to change last-minute plans, ask yourself whether God Himself is asking you to pivot. Let that process direct your attitude. Serve with gratitude that He has a bigger purpose!

Finding Grace #329

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week! I received some more kind words about my book. I’m grateful for all God has done in my heart and that I can share it with others.

Most of the week was hot, but not too humid. We got a storm overnight, and so today, it is a little cooler and very pleasant.

On Monday, I had off work for Juneteenth. I did indeed watch the History Channel documentary about the Buffalo soldiers, and I learned a lot. It was not about Juneteenth but highlighted how the black soldiers were game-changers in many Civil War fights, yet got very little recognition, which is not right. I’d encourage you to watch it if you can!

On Monday, I also got a massage and had another appointment. Then, I took Lydia and a friend to their art class. We went on a wild journey through the country because I put the wrong address into Google Maps. We found it about twenty minutes into the class, but although they were late, the girls had no trouble catching up. They made macrame dipping art and gathered beads to make some jewelry. It will be cool to see the final result!

Work was crazy-busy, but we all were cheering each other on. I stayed later on Friday to help out my team, and it was perfect timing. I saw three patients and was able to really encourage them. I am so glad I was there!

Today, I had Lydia help me mow for the first time. She did great and mowed about 30-40% of our yard. I was thankful and did a little weeding before taking over. It felt good to be outside in the lovely weather!

Then, this afternoon, we went to a wedding of a friend from church. It was an honor to be invited, and it was a beautiful ceremony! It felt good to have a reason to get dressed up (pic above)!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Bedtime Bombshells

Other children at bedtime: “I’m thirsty. It’s dark, I can’t sleep. I’m not ready for bed.”
 
My conscientious child: “Mom, can you set up these child protections because I keep wanting to use the iPad when I know I shouldn’t, and I don’t want to lie when you ask me about it.”
Thankfully, our nightly routine is a place of safety and trust! I don’t always feel prepared for these ‘bedtime bombshells,’ but I lean on God’s wisdom as I chat with Lydia.
(Regarding the tablet, I do monitor her usage, but together we decided this was a good opportunity to practice self-control, so we decided to try moving the tablet to make it less convenient and see if she is able to regulate herself. We will revisit the topic soon.)
Upon further discussion about why this was bothering her, Lydia said, “Well, Jesus can come back at any time, and I don’t want to be caught doing something that’s wrong.” This led to a great discussion about God’s grace and mercy, and the difference between the two!
 
Then, that led to questions about friends who swear and do other questionable things but say they go to church. These are not Lydia’s closest friends, though it really bothers her at times when they are disrespectful. “If they really knew God, would they act like that?”
Flowers, Plum Blossom, Spring, Petals, Seasonal, Bloom
We discussed that all of us have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Jesus is the only Way to Heaven (John 14:6), and despite all the good or bad things we do, none of us are deserving. Perhaps Lydia’s friends are unaware of God’s love for them. One way to know God’s people is that they should become more like Him over time.
Then, Lydia said, “When I get to Heaven, I am going to ask God why He didn’t just start over and make everyone love Him?” We discussed how robotic love is not really love at all.
“Ah, well, God can do anything, so He could do that,” she said. I told her there are some things God cannot do such as lie. We have to listen to God’s voice so we are not misled by Satan’s lies and evil schemes. That’s why these conversations with her are so important!
She realized, “Wow, that’s right! I guess there’s no treadmill of love forcing everyone to love God and each other. We have to make a choice.”
We also discussed the ‘common grace’ that God gives to everyone to draw us closer to Him. Some examples include beautiful sunrises and nature, our conscience, laughter with family and friends, safety, etc. God wants each of us to know Him, so we should pray for all our friends and show them God’s love. Yes, it’s the kindness of God that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).
We discussed how some people are afraid of God, but they don’t need to be because He is love. Then, Lydia saying, “I bet they haven’t read Revelation!” Which, of course, led to an End Times discussion about the Rapture and the Antichrist! Lydia understands it is important to be prepared, yet she is also concerned for her friends who are unaware.
I am grateful for my wise and thoughtful girl! What an interesting conversation!
This coming weekend marks the ninth anniversary of Dave’s death and entrance into eternity. The conversations above are all the more important to me because (with God’s salvation and grace), it’s on me to make sure Lydia knows the Way to Heaven by pointing her directly to Jesus! In some ways, my goal is to finish what Dave and I started. 
When I think of the last nine years, I see both desperate struggle and overwhelming Victory. Praise God for carrying us this far. He cannot be anything but faithful and good to us, because that’s Who He is!
While I don’t know what’s going on in your life today, I do know God cares all about you and your problems. He is trustworthy and true, so bring Him your fears and concerns.
God can handle all your questions, too. Believe me, I know. Besides, He won’t make you run on an endless treadmill to earn His love!
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God, You are so faithful and good. Thanks for your lovingkindness to us! Help us spread Your love and grace to others. Help us show them Who You are. In Jesus’ Name Amen
Questions: What is your favorite Bible verse? Do you enjoy walking or running on a treadmill? If not, is there a different piece of exercise equipment you enjoy more?!
Tasks: Pray for your friends and family who don’t know Jesus. Set a good, loving example of Who He is… sometimes, we inadvertently turn them “off” because of how we act!

Finding Grace #322

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Janet'S Foss, Malham, Yorkshire, Waterfall, River

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a special week, and I saw a theme of kindness!

Once again, I was playing catch-up all week at work! I tried to catch up on charting in between patients, but I still had some late notes. I also helped out some of my coworkers and had some fun laughs along the way. We celebrated some birthdays, too! I’m grateful for an awesome team!

I saw kindness and joy all around me by way of greetings in the hallways, thank you notes received, and friends helping each other! I also received some really good news this week. A family, who is in my book and the main reason we came to Fargo, had moved away and is moving back! I am happy to see my friends again after four years, but also grateful for them because they knew Dave personally… always a blessing!

I signed and sold some more books this week and also received some payment for those sold elsewhere online. While I wrote the book without the expectation of ‘royalties,’ I appreciate the little bit of money that comes from selling them and encouraging others!

This week, I went to the doctor for my annual physical. We discussed a few of my questions and came up with a plan of care. I am grateful for a doctor who listens, and all the ways God keeps me healthy or leads me to better health and ways to take care of my body. Prevention is key!

Today, a friend brought her puppy over for a visit. The dog did so well and even took a nap! Then, Lydia attended a birthday party for a friend. It was a good, relaxing day!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #320

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Flowers, Spring, Botany, Bloom, Blossom, Nature, Macro

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a really sweet week! I had some really well-timed conversations and connections with family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. I also noticed the grass greening up and my tulips starting to sprout!

On Easter Sunday, we celebrated at church and helped with an egg hunt there. Then, we spent the afternoon with friends, enjoying a delicious lunch, quality conversation, and fun games. Thank You, Jesus!

Monday evening, I took Lydia and some friends to an activity. It was fun to listen to them talk to each other in the car. You can read more about what I learned here!

Work went well. I had some really nice patients, and I received a great performance review! There are always ways to grow, but I am glad I am on track. Our department also had fun on Look Alike Day (4/20), and one of my friends and I each wore black pants and jean jackets. It was awesome to see my other coworker’s creativity… we had some ‘twins’ and ‘triplets’!

Wednesday night was church. Once again, the conversation was spot-on. This week, we discussed how Mary, the mother of Jesus, must’ve felt. I’m sure it was not as easy as we assume. We got off on our usual tangents, but I really am enjoying hanging out with those ladies!

On Thursday night, Lydia and I caught up on a couple tasks at home. Then, she rode her bike around our house. I just watched her because it was chilly and rainy, but she had a lot of fun!

Friday after work, I took Lydia’s old bike and scooter to a friend’s house. We then chatted for a couple of hours before I ran some errands! We discussed concepts like sickness and grief, salvation and God’s grace. She shared some prayer requests, and it seemed like God’s perfect timing that I reached out. I think we were both encouraged!!

Today, we did a mixture of our usual chores and relaxing! I prepared my snowblower for storage, cleaned some windows, and worked on some continuing education. Lydia cleaned her room and rode her bike in between rain showers. Thankfully, it turned out to be a bright, sunny day in the end!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!