Defiant Joy

My mom loved a good party! With her magnetic personality, she usually became the social director wherever she went, lol. Like her mother, she enjoyed organizing anything from casual events to formal affairs. But mostly, she enjoyed having fun!

Mom spread joy through classy decor, delicious food, and laughter with her sense of humor. She bought colored tablecloths before they were even a thing. Her centerpieces might include candles, colored gems, marbles, balloons, and/or beautiful floral bouquets. She taught us to wrap up silverware and added a little flare with colored curling ribbon. Music typically set the mood, at least for home parties.

Mom knew how to elevate basic, everyday foods. She was known for her spaghetti sauce, beef stew, potato leek soup, barbecue, egg rolls, and chicken salad. Her infamous relish tray with celery, baby carrots, red grapes, sweet pickles, and olives was a standard we still replicate. She would even “doctor up” mundane foods with fresh ingredients, like fruits or vegetables—anything to add color, flavor, and nutrition.

Everyone was welcome at mom’s events. She wanted to include everyone because she saw their inherent God-given value. She had her own opinions and convictions, but she looked past differences to see the individual.

Mom was bold and generous toward others. She loved shopping for good deals, partly, so she could give away what she bought. She had a little stockpile of things at home and was always prepared with a gift. Mom often interacted with total strangers at the grocery store, gas station, airport, bank, etc. She would notice something special about them and mention it. She asked good questions and connected them with resources, if warranted. 

Mom loved a good outfit accessory. She loved jewelry, sunglasses, hats, scarves, and purses. But, she didn’t hold onto anything too tightly. She often gave away personal items as she felt led in the moment. For example, if you told her you liked her necklace or bracelet, chances were she might just give it to you.

For someone who just met her, it would be easy to assume my mom was only surface-level or light-hearted all the time. Nothing could be further from the truth. While Mom attracted people with her bubbly personality, she could go deep.

Free Cookie Cookies photo and picture

Mom’s personal motto was “Never a dull moment.” She faced many personal challenges, losses, and pain, but she learned to trust God’s goodness and provision through the messiness of life. She knew He would continue fighting for her, so she didn’t have to win every battle.

Instead, my mom used her energy and influence to point people to God. Mom knew joy is not based on circumstances, like happiness often is. Joy is based on knowing the contagious, steadfast love of Jesus. Indeed, He was the most joyful person ever!

This week, I came across a funny video of my mom. It was from her last birthday in October, and I loved hearing her joy and laughter. I imagine her experiencing Heaven the same way. Although I am grieving, I don’t want to miss the chance to celebrate God’s goodness. Indeed, I don’t have to have all the answers to trust Jesus and walk in faith.

**********

Heavenly Father, thanks for the beauty and joy You instill into our daily lives. Show us Your glory! Help us take advantage of the opportunities You give us and draw closer to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How can you live with defiant joy today, however trying your circumstances? What are you grateful for?

Tasks: Join me in carrying on my mom’s legacy of defiant joy. There is always a reason to be grateful and celebrate! Nice weather, all green traffic lights, met a goal, received a compliment, ate delicious food? Buy yourself some flowers or dance around while praising God! Read this fun throwback about my mom’s epic 60th birthday party.

Finding Grace #470

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Trail Winter photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was full of family and friends, which was joyful as we celebrated my mom’s life. But, of course, there was also sadness and grief. 

We spent Sunday and Monday working around my parents’ house and hanging out with loved ones in Florida. We helped my dad by going through my mom’s clothing and accessories. We chose some of my mom’s personal items to keep or share with loved ones. We also made decisions about what to donate. Mom always loved blessing others, so I think she would be pleased.

On Tuesday afternoon, we flew back to Fargo. It was difficult to leave my dad, but his brother, John, stayed behind with him for a few days. Lydia and I had three flights and arrived home around 11:30 p.m. Everything went smoothly, praise God. We went straight to bed so that we could get up early for work and school.

Work went well, though, to be honest, my heart wasn’t really in it. I think it will be a struggle for a little while since convincing people to change food habits pales in comparison to grief and thoughts of eternity. My coworkers have all been so kind to check in and let me talk, as needed. I know from previous experiences with grief that it just takes time to process and move forward. But I also appreciate your prayers!

Often on Friday afternoons, I would call my mom to check in. So, it is sad not to be able to do that anymore. On top of that, yesterday, I went to the grocery store and saw random items Mom would typically buy. I was sad, but when I got home, a card was in the mail and reminded me that God comforts us like a mother does her child. Perfect timing, Lord! A little bit later, I called my aunt. We reminisced together and it was exactly what I needed. God is so good.

Today, I caught up around the house. I made some sourdough bread and some sourdough pancakes. Lydia hung out with a friend, and one of my friends visited me. She listened to me talk about Mom and encouraged me. It was so kind of her!

Don’t forget to turn your clocks one hour forward! Spring is around the corner!

**********

These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Debbie Torpedo

Well, it’s been about a week and a half since my mom, Debbie, went to Heaven. I miss her so much and know I’m not the only one. She was like a mother figure to many people. Mom took many people under her wing and encouraged them. She was gifted at identifying their strengths and helping them grow into who God made them to be.

My family has received many messages from people about how Mom changed the course of their family’s life. She taught a friend to pray in public; now that friend’s son is a pastor. Mom challenged another woman to love her husband by making time for him. That marriage has never been stronger. Mom mentored many and called us all a little higher.

Mom knew how to get right to the heart of the matter. Although she sometimes spoke harsh truths, she did it with love and grace. Her conviction was always mixed with witty charm. I don’t know anyone else who could do that like she did!


Most of us would just keep quiet despite seeing a glaringly obvious problem in someone else. Not Mom. If she loved you, she would not let it go. She would speak up so you could make it right. She was a force, but came from a place of love. Mom wanted the best for and expected the best from her friends and family.

Mom did not worry whether someone liked her. She gave tons of compliments but would also risk telling someone the truth. She did not do it to demean or gloat, but to correct an error. In essence, she loved you too much to leave you that way.

Mom looked sweet, but she could pack a wallop when needed. One of her favorite lines was, “Don’t let the freckles fool you!” Similarly, a dear family friend called her “Debbie Torpedo”because you never saw it coming!

If you’ve experienced “being laid flat” as I like to say, I’m happy to report that God really refined my Mom over many decades of walking with Him. When I was little, she was still working on controlling her fiery temper… So, I know how it feels! But, as my parents and siblings often discussed later as adults, it was just the forge we needed.

Mom and Dad didn’t set out to raise weak kids who would flounder in the real world. My parents have been through some tough circumstances, and they wanted to prepare us. So they taught us first about Jesus and second about showing up and doing hard things. They promoted independence and standing on our own two feet.


My parents held us to high standards and expected us to rise to that level. For every gift we received, we wrote a thank you note. She would tear it up if it weren’t “thankful enough” or legible, and we would have to start over. We can laugh about it now, but there were many tears. 😉

Mom and Dad didn’t ask us to do anything they weren’t already doing. They lead by example. Mom was well known for writing cards to people. She cultivated this discipline over decades. When her arthritis flared up and she was in so much pain (often daily), she would reach out and bless others.

Indeed, I have learned so much from my mom. At the end of her life (though we did not see it coming), Mom, aka “Debbie Torpedo” still had some of that fire, yet her faith in Jesus tempered it. She was born a fighter, but He made her into a warrior. She did not blame Jesus for the pain or complain about it. She praised Him and blessed others. That’s an example worth following!

**********
God, You are so good and wise. Thanks for working in each of our lives and transforming us. May we submit to You and use our strengths for Your glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions:  Have you ever had someone speak a harsh truth to you? Was it done in love or spite? Did you resist change or did you grow through the process?

Task: If you want to read my mom’s obituary but haven’t, here it is.

Finding Grace #469

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.
I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!
Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!
This week was bittersweet, a mix of difficulty and blessing. As you may know, my mom died last weekend, a couple of hours after I posted my weekly recap.
So, the week was spent trying to get many things in order! Sunday and Monday were spent packing and planning, contacting people who loved Mom. I also worked a half day to tie up some loose ends. Sometimes, those tasks are helpful when grieving because they give your mind something to focus on. In terms of packing, we essentially threw in the same items from last week and a few more outfits.
On Tuesday morning, we flew to Florida again. This time, we had an early flight and two layovers. Thankfully, we arrived safe and sound and could continue helping Dad plan Mom’s services. It was soothing to go through pictures and remember how much fun we had with Mom. God has come through for us in so many ways.
This week, family and friends from several states gathered together in honor of my Mom. And, today, we had her memorial service at my parents’ local church. They are a very loving group, and it felt good to be amongst those who knew my parents well, even if just for a short while.
Thanks again for all the love and support. I appreciate your continued prayers, especially for my dad, Tom. Life is short, just a vapor, really. Please get to know Jesus and live for Him. And, hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight.
**********
These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!
There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Another Homecoming

After a little more than six weeks of health struggles, my mom went Home to be with Jesus late Saturday 2/22. This is our family’s second loss in the last year, my Aunt Deb and now Mom. Still, we have peace knowing they knew Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

Naturally, we are still feeling the shock of it all. Mom was a fighter and did her best. Her health issues did not seem life-threatening at first, but unfortunately they just all added up. In the end, she was granted total healing!

On Sunday 2/23, I wrote the following on my social media account and tagged my mom’s. Please forgive me and keep reading below if you have already seen it. I want to have all of this in one spot so I can reread it whenever needed.

Hello, for all those who love my mom, I want to share that she met Jesus late last night after a brief, but trying, series of health issues.
We did not share much publicly because she wanted to maintain her privacy, and it is just a lot to keep people up to date. But thank you to the dear friends and family who reached out along the way.
After years of living with chronic pain, it would be selfish to ask her to continue in that way, just for us. This was not the John 10:10 life Jesus died to give her, but she’s joyfully experiencing it now! We’re thankful she does not have to suffer any longer.
We know God does not waste our tears or pain. He has been so good and faithful and will always be because that’s who He is. Our hope and trust is in the kindness and wisdom of King Jesus. We will continue to praise Him and bring Him glory.
Philippians 1:21 says, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain.” If you don’t know Jesus, today is the day of salvation.
The Good News, or gospel, is this: “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9) None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so make sure you take care of this, right now even. That would be Mom’s biggest desire to see you in Heaven some day.
Thanks for all your love and support. Please continue to keep us in prayer, especially my dad, Tom, as we figure out the next steps.
Enjoy eternal glory, Mom. You are more alive than ever before. You fought the good fight and finished your race. He who began a good work was faithful to complete it in you. We will miss you dearly, but we know we will see you again! We are so very proud of you. XOXOXO
May be an image of 2 people, people smiling and eyeglasses

My mom was the most unique person I have known. A natural-born redhead, she was feisty and compassionate, filled with kindness and a zest for life. She loved fiercely and spoke her mind. She was bold and decisive but equally funny and generous. You never had to question where she stood on things. She always stood up for the left out, the disadvantaged, and the underdog.

Mom was certainly one-of-a-kind. She was classy and glamorous. She loved reading, animals (especially cats), art and beauty, nature and science, and making things pretty. Mom used her gift of encouragement to brighten the lives of all she met. She sparkled, and this world will never be the same without her. I am sure she’s in awe of Heaven’s brilliant colors, seeing everything from a new perspective now. Her joy is complete!

Mom overcame many challenges that would have decimated anyone else. She clung to Jesus with all she had, and He brought her through time and again. Mom instilled that faith and resiliency in each of us four kids. We are resolved to keep moving forward.


If you read my blog regularly, you will know that since COVID, my family has been doing weekly Zoom calls on Sunday nights. Mom was so appreciative of the time we could spend talking and laughing. Family was everything to her.

I know she was looking forward to being reunited with her parents, her grandparents, Dave, Aunt Deb, and many others. She wisely put her faith in Jesus many decades ago. While Mom was not perfect, she lived for Jesus and loved well.

Last weekend, Lydia and I went to Florida to spend time with Mom and Dad. I cheered her on to eat well, like any good dietitian would! I brought Mom all sorts of foods and watched her enjoy small amounts. She was not feeling well, but we made the most of it. I ran some errands for her and pampered her as well as I could, given the difficult circumstances. We did not know it was our last time together, but God did.

It will be tough for us in the coming days, especially Dad. I’ve lost my spouse, though this is a new loss, too. Nonetheless, Mom did her best to rely on Jesus, and we trust Him with the rest. We needed Him to move, and He did just that. He will continue to work it all out for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28).

Thanks again for all your prayers and support.

**********

God, thanks for Mom and all the ways You used her to bless others. You are so good, Lord. Comfort us and draw more people to You, as we carry on her legacy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: If you knew my mom, what is your favorite memory of her?

Task: If you don’t know Jesus, make your decision to follow him TODAY. He will bring peace to your life, like you’ve never known before.

Finding Grace #468

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Forest Nature photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was good, though it felt both short and long, lol. We arrived home on Monday and prepared for the week ahead.

We had only four days of work, but they were full! I attended an online nutrition training for three days, provided coverage for other areas, and answered phone calls afterward. One Veteran required me to work with our Prosthetics team to get a new feeding tube. I stayed an extra hour on Friday to get things done, but I feel good about what I accomplished.

On Thursday night, Lydia had an orchestra concert. She played five songs, including two for the chamber orchestra. It was fun to see and hear all her hard work.

The weather was below zero at the end of the week and above thirty today. It feels like a wild card, but I will take it! 😉

Today, Lydia hung out with a friend for a couple hours. I made some sourdough bread and made some phone calls. It felt good to have a day at home!

**********

These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Always Grateful

Recently, I heard a sermon about not being anxious. The message covered Matthew 6:31-34. It was a great message in and of itself, but as I took notes, the pastor’s opening note struck me. He mentioned the well-known Bible commentator Matthew Henry, who lived in England in the late 1600s to early 1700s. What I found so interesting was Mr. Henry’s reaction to being robbed!

He knew he should “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). So, after some reflection, he wrote in his diary, “Let me be thankful. First, I was never robbed before. Second, although they took my purse, they didn’t take my life. Third, although they took my all, it was not much. Fourth, let me be thankful because it was I who was robbed and not I who did the robbing.”

Isn’t that incredible?! Most of us would not walk away from that situation showing gratitude. Instead, we might be angry and complain about the risk or inconvenience. We might start to worry or be afraid of it happening again. I’m grateful we can turn our worries into prayers!

Free Forest Trees photo and picture

I usually think of myself as someone who can find the good in difficult situations, choosing to praise God and look on the bright side. “It could always be worse…” Since learning about Matthew Henry, I have been thinking through common situations I’ve been in and looking ahead to how I will deal with them.

When I am driving in a blizzard, I’ll be glad for a car with all-wheel drive. I will be thankful for the snow plows, even if I get stuck behind them. I’ll be grateful that some people could stay home so there are fewer cars on the road. I will praise God for His protection. He leads me when I cannot see!

When I get a speeding ticket, even if I don’t think I was wrong (ahem): I’ll be grateful for laws that protect us and glad that God is just. I will be thankful for His grace all the other times… I will also be grateful that He doesn’t always give me what I deserve (mercy).

When I have a delayed layover flight, I will be glad for the layover because I won’t have to rush. I might have time to walk around the airport or make some calls. I will rest and not have to worry, trusting in God’s perfect timing and plan.

When people mock me or misunderstand me, I will remember that God Almighty is my defender. He is the Truth and covers me with His grace. I will be grateful that He knows me and loves me dearly. He will make it right and set the record straight in due time.

Free Forest Nature photo and picture

When I am sick, I will praise God for being my healer. I will be grateful for modern medicine and the chance to rest. I will pay attention to my body and ensure I am not running myself ragged.

When things don’t go my way or cause me to be late or inconvenienced, I will remember all the times my plans did go well. I will be thankful for the detours, knowing God is still at work around me.

When I feel I am a day late or a dollar short, I will be grateful this does not happen often. I will praise God for His provision. I’ll remind myself that with Jesus, I am enough. I will be thankful for the reminder to lean on Him. I will be glad for the wisdom gained to prevent it from happening again.

When I am sad or grieving, I will be grateful for the time together, the love we shared, and the memories. I will choose to see God’s heart and trust Him. I will look forward to our eternal hope in Jesus. This is not the end!

These are just some ways to be thankful, but I am sure you can think of more! God is so worthy of our praise. Let’s stop grumbling and complaining and lay down our pride in gratitude for all He has done! I’ll go first! 😉

**********

God, thanks for Your mercy and grace in all circumstances. Thanks that You turn everything into something for Your Glory and our good. Put a guard over our mouths, as we seek You first with gratitude. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Using Matthew Henry’s approach, how can you be grateful today? How does gratitude in the Lord decrease your anxiety, worry, and fear?

Tasks: Write down all you are thankful for in a journal. Review how God has turned bad things for the good. Soon, you will see how your mood changes amid trials!

Finding Grace #467

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Mountains Forest photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week, I had a short work week since Lydia and I had special plans.

I worked Monday through Wednesday and tried to stay on top of things. I thought I would get behind since I had a lot of patients. But, then a few people canceled last minute. I enjoy seeing people, but in this case, it was helpful! 🙂

 One highlight was starting a book club with some of my coworkers. I asked them to read Atomic Habits, and we met on Tuesday to discuss it. It is a good book so far, with applications for many of our patients!

It was very cold again this week. Nothing unusual with that. LOL

Thankfully, Lydia and I are spending time with loved ones in warmer weather for the long holiday weekend. It has been good to be together!

**********

These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Dealing with Detours

Last week, I had a bit of a detour on my drive to work. I was in my own thoughts and minding my own business 😉 when a semi pulled out into the passing lane where I was.

So, there were vehicles in each of the three lanes ahead of me. At that moment, I mistook where I was and missed my exit! I started to worry about being late, but then I decided to turn around at an upcoming exit. Luckily, there was one closer than the exit I was thinking of.

I recognized it from a couple of work trips last year, but I couldn’t quite recall how to get to work. At a stop light, I quickly entered the VA into my navigation. Whew!

I was the third vehicle traveling on that two-way road. It got a little confusing at one point because one car turned, and the other started to veer off like they were turning in the other direction. I kept going straight according to the GPS when that car suddenly came back into my lane. Praise God, I saw them, and we avoided a collision.

A few minutes later, I arrived and found a parking space. It took me longer that day, but I made it on time. Thankfully, I usually leave a few minutes early!

Free Clouds Mountains photo and picture

Yesterday, I talked with a coworker about her life story as we worked together on a project. She had quite a few losses and many ups and downs. But she was grateful for how God had brought her through it all.

Something she said stuck with me: We may have a vision, but God has re-vision. We may have a plan, but God takes it and makes it what He wants it to be.

Detours are not really a matter of IF, but WHEN.  Sometimes we can see them coming, but most often, they surprise us. What do you do when you then?

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

When a life detour comes, you may wonder how you got there and what happened. But you don’t have to worry or live in fear. This detour is not the end; it is merely a side trip. Perhaps it is totally unexpected, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is bad.

God is with you in the confusion. Rest in His love.

Today, if you are in the middle of a detour, take delight in the Lord. When you don’t see the path, praise Him and trust Him to lead you. Look for God’s grace and goodness along the way. Have a good attitude and trust Him to do what is best for you!

**********

God, thanks for all the good things You do for us. Thanks for leading us through the twists and turns of life. Help us to trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When did you last have a real detour in life? How did it turn out? What did you learn about yourself and God?

Task: When you find yourself in the middle of a detour, delight in what God is doing and where He is taking you. Read this throwback from 2018!

Finding Grace #466

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Snow Landscape photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week, and I saw God moving all around me.

A friend shared about an answer to prayer. I was honored she included me as I have been praying for this situation for awhile. I know God’s timing is perfect, but sometimes we feel like He takes His own sweet time! 😉

I had more of the usual meetings and patients at work, but it was the right amount of busyness and downtime so I could get caught up. My tasks this week included continuing education, updating a nutrition handout; formatting a phone book collecting our contacts across several states; and a couple other efficiency projects to help my coworkers. All good things!

We got a little snow this week, perhaps up to five inches or so. I have not really tracked it this season since it is so much less than normal. I shoveled a bit, but my snow service took care of most of it!

Today, I was on call for work but did not need to go in. Woohoo! Instead, I worked on a few things around the house, ran some errands, and did more of my normal Saturday things! Tonight, I plan to relax a little with Lydia.

**********

These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!