Strong, Resilient, and Capable

Happy April Fools Day!! Can you believe it’s April already?

This day can be fun for many people, as they play hilarious pranks on their friends.

But maybe today feels like a cruel joke. Social distancing has a way of making us feel isolated and alone. I’m sure we’ve all had moments of doubt and questioning lately.

What is going to happen? What if someone I love gets sick? Will we be okay? 

Much of what we are collectively feeling is grief. Lydia and I talk about grief often, so we are fairly familiar with the concept of loss. It’s not a far stretch for us… But, that doesn’t mean it is easy or comfortable.

Perhaps you have feelings of loss or missing out. Not to mention sadness, uncertainty, and possible despair. Grief is not just about death. It’s about learning to make adjustments. 

This sense of grief is totally normal, but now is the perfect time to make lemonade.

Earlier this week, I read some words of encouragement from someone at work. These words stood out to me: IMPROVISE. ADAPT. OVERCOME.

We have a choice to make: We can try to make it on our own, or we can ask God to help.

The truth is, only Jesus can give us the fortitude to make the best of the situation. Only He can bring something good from overwhelming evil and pain. He alone is the source of all wisdom. His Name is Power!

Only He can teach us how to improvise, adapt, and overcome.

If you are alive today, you come from a long line of survivors. Our ancestors had their own share of problems. Most recently, they dealt with the Spanish Flu, the Great Depression, and two World Wars. Sure, maybe they were afraid, but they pushed through, made sacrifices, and did what was needed. And so, here we are.

Strong. Resilient. Capable.

Overall, Lydia and I are adjusting well. I am still working and sending Lydia to daycare. We are saving some time each day by not running errands or driving to activities, but we are still involved remotely. Oddly enough, we really haven’t had much downtime!

Lydia starts online school today. There will be some challenges, but I know she will do well. I’m grateful for her teacher, our school district, and all those working behind the scenes!

I feel our personal grief experiences have served us well over the years. Here are a few takeaways I have learned that may help you.

First, lean on the Lord as if your life depends on it. Give yourself credit for what is going well. Celebrate wins, no matter what size. And, finally, this will not last forever.

Be strong. Be courageous. Remember God is with you and for you!

Grief looks different for everyone. Sure, there may be similarities or patterns, but each of us copes in unique ways. There is no right way to get through something painful.

Yet, as long as we don’t give up, we will get through it together! Let’s cheer each other on! God’s got this. With Him, nothing is impossible! 

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Father God, thanks for being our refuge and hiding place. Thanks for giving us Your strength! Please protect us and help us trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How has social distancing affected you? Has it been difficult or are you glad for the ‘break’? How can you encourage your family, friends, neighbors, and community?

Task: Fear is a normal reaction, but we don’t have to let it run our lives. When you feel afraid, challenge those thoughts and feelings with God’s Word!

 

Roll With It!

Ah, the world has become a different place overnight! It’s been a little crazy lately!

I’ve seen some really compelling facts and arguments for staying home to protect others and ourselves from illness. And, I’ve seen some pretty funny memes about toilet paper and germs. When all this over, I’d love to see a ‘best of the best’ meme contest!

I’ve replenished my pantry with key staples (though I still haven’t found any TP). I’m not worried, however, because I still have some on hand. In terms of supplies, many of us could be just fine without stocking up for quarantine. We are that blessed.

Even if we do end up eating stuff from the back of the cupboard.

This year has already proven to be a wild card. In fact, this new decade is not what many expected it to be. But God is not surprised, and He is right here with us.

I am still working, and Lydia’s at her daycare program full-time because school is closed this week (likely longer). I’m trying to be as flexible as possible with our plans.

Most of us have had several plans canceled or postponed. Despite the disappointment and uncertainty around us, in terms of traveling, public events, school, and work, we can fully rely on the wisdom and peace God brings.

We may run low on toilet paper, but instead of freaking out, we can roll with it. 🙂 We may not know how to make ends meet, but we can trust God will take care of us. He is our Provider and our Sustainer.

God is still in control. He’s got this.

Even though we face some unknowns, we are better off in terms of resources than many of those who came before us. We will get through this together.

This is a huge challenge, but we are still quite well off. We have history to show us what has worked in all the other plagues and viruses. By using wisdom, caution, and social distancing, we can hopefully slow the trajectory and “flatten the curve.”

I’m so grateful for science and technology! Some online newspapers are providing free access so we can stay up-to-date. Many churches have moved weekly services online.

We have electricity, running water, and the internet. We can exercise, clean, work on projects, learn a new skill, and call loved ones. We have books, television, puzzles, games, and chocolate. In many ways, God has given us the gift of family time and a slower pace.

In all of the chaos and negative press, I have seen some good news, too! I saw an article saying air quality has improved worldwide because factories have trimmed hours (and perhaps jobs, sadly). The full impact remains to be seen.

Overall, I’ve seen a wonderful outpouring of generosity, community, and compassion.

Certain stores are catering to the elderly and others who are at the highest risk. Lydia’s daycare even made cards for local nursing home residents.

Online, many teachers have volunteered to help parents with educational questions so their students don’t fall behind. Other resources are being made available for free to promote learning. Various people are posting videos of them reading children’s books. I love that the zoos and museums are providing virtual tours.

Let’s use this time to reset, reprioritize what matters, and rest in God’s grace.

Moms have stepped up to support each other and take care of children without daycare. In fact, two local friends have offered to help with Lydia in a pinch. I haven’t needed the support (yet), but I am grateful for the options.

Yo-Yo Ma and several other musicians have posted beautiful songs to bring comfort. They are using their gifts, talents, and resources to serve others and set the tone for the rest of us. What an example!

A gym trainer in Spain led his community in an exercise program from the top of his roof, while everyone else was on their respective balconies. Similarly, some gyms are posting free workout videos for everyone (even for nonmembers).

Here are some other creative ways to roll with it: Share a roll of TP. Make cinnamon rolls or dinner rolls (get in the kitchen). Roll a camera (make memories). Roll on some paint (home improvements). Roll dice (boardgames, not gambling!). Roll a ball or roller skate (exercise). Shake, rattle, and roll (find joy and have fun). 🙂

This particular situation is hard on everyone. No one is free from risk. But we can all help someone else (even remotely from home via Zoom or Google Hangouts). We can be the church we are called to be.

Whether we feel ready or not, the situation is what it is. We can pray and be prepared, but we don’t have to panic or be afraid. We can use this time to draw closer to Jesus.

We can come up with new ways to solve problems. Necessity is the mother of invention, right? Maybe future generations will learn from us in their time of great need.

Let’s make the best of this situation. Our minor inconveniences of social distancing has potential can literally save lives. There is always something to be thankful for.

And, we know that God will use this all for our good.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your protection and provision. Help us share Your light and love with others. Draw all of us closer to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How are you doing? What is good today? What are you learning through this time? Is there someone you can encourage today?

Tasks: Listen to Matt Maher’s new song, “Alive and Breathing.” Find the good. Praise God!

Finding Grace #208

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a memorable week! It started off a little sad, however. When Dave and I were first married, we got a beautiful golden retriever. Britain was 2 years old then, and she thought she was a 60-pound lap dog! When Dave died, it was difficult to take care of the dog when I needed to care for Lydia and myself. Britain went to live with my brother, and later, a friend’s family. Well, last weekend, I learned she passed away. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I am sure Britain and Dave are snuggling together again!

On Tuesday and Thursday, God helped me fit in several activities at work and home. There was nothing unusual or difficult, per se, but I just had a lot going on back-to-back. God does this for me every day, actually, but this week, I noticed it more! Thanks, Lord!

Lydia had an exciting week and it seems she grew so much! First, she got a haircut and new tennis shoes. Then, on Wednesday, she got her braces off! We thought she was just going for a checkup, so we were surprised! Lydia has been happily talking about how nice her smile looks and how smooth her teeth feel. We go for a retainer next week!

Today, February 29th is Leap Day! It’s always fun to do something special to celebrate. I have my first on-call weekend at work but didn’t have to go in today… Then Lydia and I tried out a new recipe for lemon ricotta pancakes (pictured above)! They were delicious and tasted just like spring. 🙂 Tonight, Lydia is going to a friend’s house for a birthday sleepover, and I’m going with friends to a women’s worship event at church!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Mountain Mover

I sure am grateful for Jesus! I appreciate how His faithfulness and reliability. He always makes a way for us. He always comes through!

Thanks, Lord, for your unfailing love!

Yesterday morning, I woke up thinking about my day and all that I needed to do. I also thought about upcoming plans and events that I need to prepare for (at work, home, church, Lydia’s school and daycare, etc). Each day is a little different, of course.

No big deal, just some loose ends. All that is fairly normal, but I felt overwhelmed. So, I did the best thing I could do. I prayed! In the early morning, I try to keep it simple.

Often, this looks like, “God, I really can’t do this on my own. I have no idea how I am going to accomplish all of this. But You do. I really need Your help! Can you please…??” 

The ellipses above may be filled in with any of several phrases:

–help this person get back to me     –help that person be available

–help that patient come early     –help the timing because I don’t have much margin

–help me to remember that later     –help me finish this task

After I prayed for God’s help, I decided to take my day head-on, trusting Him to come through for me. Soon, it became fun to see how it all worked out!

I ate a good breakfast and got in some exercise before work. Woohoo! I felt good mentally and physically, and those endorphins carried through the day. Then, I heard a great song on the radio! By God’s grace, the rest of my day went smoothly, too.

I had a lighter day at work, but still had a lot going on. One patient came early, which gave me some time before my next patient. 🙂 I was also able to take another patient to help a coworker, and I caught up on other tasks (will do more today). I managed to do everything assigned to me, but God “rearranged” my schedule!

Also, I made a little progress on some plans and goals at home.

Later, I reflected on all of the above. In a brief moment of insecurity, I wondered, “What is going on? Have I lost my game?! I used to have more balance and was really good at x, y, and z.” Then, it hit me!

I realized that while most of these random issues are common, my circumstances have changed dramatically over the years.

How I dealt with things in the past versus now has changed accordingly. I am still ‘competent,’ but years ago, I had more flexibility in my schedule, more help, and more brainpower to put toward all these random issues. HA!!

Now, I am a single mom and homeowner with no family nearby. It’s safe to say I have different priorities, though ongoing stress and inadequate sleep doesn’t help. 😉

The song I heard on the radio, “Believer,” by Rhett Walker, is about how God works in us.

“I am a mountain mover, water walker
More than just an overcomer ‘Cause I’ve been set free.”

It’s a fun, catchy song, but for me, God is my power source! I can’t do anything good on my own, but He is the ultimate mountain mover! He also redirects me all throughout the day. Sometimes, He moves the mountain, and sometimes, He moves me!

I give God my many weaknesses, and He gives me His strength. Nothing stands in His way! Similarly, you don’t have fear or worry, either.

God is the Eternal Rock! He’s got us covered!

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God, thanks for all You do for me. Thanks for being so trustworthy and for empowering me to live for You. Help me listen and obey; I don’t want to do this alone. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you remember to ask God for help every day? Before your problems arise?! 🙂

Tasks: Put your faith in Jesus, and don’t try to solve your problems on your own! Listen to the song, “Believer,” by Rhett Walker.

 

Finding Grace #206

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week turned out differently than planned, but I really appreciated God directing my steps! Life always ends up well when we do it His way. And by that, I mean talking with God and letting Him lead us through each situation on His terms and in His time.

Tuesday was a really beautiful day, perfect for going to dinner with some coworkers! I am so thankful for these awesome ladies! They are gracious to let Lydia tag along with us. We tried out a restaurant just across the  Red River in Moorhead, MN. Lydia and I shared a half-price appetizer and split a couple of small pizzas (we took home yummy leftovers).

This week, the weather changed my plans, but again, that wasn’t all bad. There was a ‘ground blizzard’ on Wednesday and school was canceled. Kinda crazy how fast the storm came overnight! Thankfully, Lydia still had a daycare option so I could go to work. It ended up being a very busy day, and I am glad I didn’t have to miss all my patients! Our evening plans were canceled too, so Lydia and I had a fun time hanging out together!

My Thursday evening plans also changed, in part due to the cold weather. Lydia and I took advantage of the extra time to make tacos! I appreciated the slower pace for a change.

On Friday, Valentine’s Day, I received some gorgeous flowers from my sister, which reminds me Spring is around the corner. I also received some exciting news and a box of chocolates in the mail. Furthermore, I enjoyed some ‘me time’ which doesn’t happen very often. It was absolutely glorious to read a book, take a nap, watch a movie, and enjoy some special foods with Lydia after school. There are so many ways to be happy; it was good to soak up God’s unfailing, neverending love!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

A Little Stretched

Recently, on my personal Facebook page, a memory popped up from two years ago.

Here is what it said:

Tonight, I was preparing for the week ahead, prepping meals and doing dishes, while hoping to watch the Olympics. Lydia, already relaxed and watching the Olympics, asked me for an after-dinner snack when I hadn’t even eaten my dinner yet…

I was a little short with her. Here is our conversation as I came upstairs with an armful of laundry.

L: Mom, you look a little stretched.
Me, with a sigh: What do you mean, Lydia?
L: Hold on, I’ll be right back!

L, seconds later: Here, you can use this! I like to squeeze it when I am stretched.

The emoji stress ball was a perfect reminder not to be so serious…and so sweet of Lydia to encourage and help me. The fact that she picked up on my mood without actually understanding the reasons made me laugh! I’m so thankful for her!

I thought it was funny that Lydia replaced the word stressed with stretched. Yet, it was totally applicable in that context. I also appreciated her thoughtfulness and compassion.

And yes, the laughing-to-the-point-of-tears emoji ball makes me smile even now.

But maybe today, you are feeling a little stretched. Perhaps your schedule is pushed to the limit and you can’t simply laugh it off. Remember: God’s got this.

Let God have your worries, and take on His perspective instead. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He loves you with an everlasting love. He’s got it.

You may not know how it all works out, but God’s got you covered. Rest in His grace.

I hope this post brightens your day, and that you find something to smile or laugh about today. Take time to pray, destress, and relax. Take the scenic route when possible. 

Life is too short to always be a little stretched.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for being our Victory! When we feel stressed or stretched thin, help us turn to You. Let us rest in Your grace, knowing You’ve got us covered. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What would it mean for you to give your worries, stress, and schedule to God?

Tasks: Life is an adventure! Cast all your cares on Jesus, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Listen to the song, “You got this” by Love and the Outcome.

 

 

Steady Me Now

Whenever I see a word repeatedly popping up in everyday life, I take notice.

Lately, that word is anchor.

Maybe it started when I watched a random movie that took place on a cruise ship. 🙂

Or, maybe it was because I was reviewing some old blog posts!

Here’s one. Here’s another. And another.

At any rate, I have been listening to the song, “Anchor,” by Skillet, on repeat.

I keep singing part of the chorus over and over: “You are my anchor, So steady me, steady me now.”  I have even caught myself humming it in public!

You know, it’s a little more inconspicuous that way… 😉

In Christ Jesus, we have “hope as an anchor for the soul, strong and secure” (from Hebrews. 6:19, NIV). He provides safety, security, and grounding in any storm.

Jesus also prevents us from moving off course. We are wise to cling to Him like the anchor He is. There are many types of storms and vessels and missions, but Jesus is more than enough to meet every need! Trust Him!

That begs the question: To what or whom are you anchored?

Are you anchored to Jesus, or are you stuck on other people’s expectations and opinions? What holds your attention? Do you look to the Prince of Peace or to your problems?

We all face external challenges and internal troubles. Outside forces are often beyond our control, but sometimes we try to control them. Internally, the mind can be quite subtle. Both have unique risks and dangers, and both can be difficult to navigate.

It seems there are two ways we can anchor or attach ourselves to something. Although they may appear similar at first glance, only one is stable. One means we do all the work ourselves, while the other brings rest, peace, power, and protection. 

We can clasp onto an idea or person or object with stubbornness and pride. This means I am doing life solo and in my own strength. I have all the answers, so I don’t need any outside help or input. Unfortunately, when I fasten myself, the chain quickly becomes binding and I am trapped. I am no match for life’s challenges on my own.

Or, we can cling to Jesus with steadfastness and humility. This means He holds me tight as I wait for Him to lead me. I seek His input first and refuse to move until I hear from Him. Relying on the Lord takes patience… because I can’t chart my own course successfully.

It is important to evaluate your position while life is still calm. A storm leaves no time to figure out how to use an anchor! Don’t leave yourself at risk. Come to Jesus right now!

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Dear Jesus, thanks for being my Anchor! You are strong and secure. Thanks for Your protection. Help me rest and wait for You. In Your Name, Amen

Questions: How firm is your anchor, or whatever you are depending upon? Will it hold fast in the next storm? How can you be sure?

Tasks: If you’re clinging to anything other than Jesus Christ, now is your opportunity to let go and grab onto Him like your life depends on it. (It does!) And, listen to this song!

 

 

His Story, Plan, and Year

Recently, a friend posted a recap of the last year on her social media page. After discussing her ups and downs, she said how thankful she was for God’s faithfulness. Then, she posted a picture of this cute mug that said: “This is My His Year.” Yes, ‘My’ is crossed out.

It was a perfect reminder that life is not about you or me. It’s about Jesus.

Then, this week, I came across some timely articles with a similar message.

The first article mentioned that we often see life from our personal storyline. For example, if someone is career-driven, then their daily decisions will likely serve that bottom line. Their thoughts and choices will work to advance that path. Yes, they may go to church, help people, pay their bills on time, and so on, but the subconscious focus is on their own success.

In some ways, our brains are wired to hyperfocus on what’s right in front of us. But if we’re not careful, we may be missing the picture of Jesus’ larger story! His is the only story that matters.

As I reflect on my own life, maybe I focus too much through the lens of being a daughter or sister or dietitian or blogger or a widow or single mom, or whatever. (Maybe you identify with being a grandparent, a bus driver, a nurse, a cook, a banker, or a teacher.) Those roles are not necessarily wrong; in fact, they can be very good.

But what I do can’t be my everything.

Ultimately, my identity is found in Christ. He is the author, and I am merely a beloved character in His story. I can’t let my small perspective limit what God wants to do in me and through me. Every hour, I need to refocus on Jesus and what He wants for me to be and do. And that makes me thankful for several reasons!

First of all, when I remember God’s got this, I am off the hook. Not being in charge of the story means I don’t have to stress about what other people are doing or not doing. I am not responsible for getting each character to the end. I can just focus on Jesus and the tasks He gives me. No more, no less.

Second, those same God-given tasks tend to become my focus if I’m not careful. The daily grind can consume us! But instead of being distracted, I can focus on being obedient and doing my best for Jesus. For example, at work, I can see each interaction with a patient as a way to serve them and show them God’s love. It’s His glory after all, not mine.

Third, the second article mentions, “Setbacks and steps forward must be reinterpreted around a journey of becoming more like Christ.” Positive and negative experiences should ultimately point us back to Jesus. Similarly, our successes are not our own, and our failures are not our burdens. Instead, they can redirect our focus back to our gracious God. When we see daily challenges have a bigger purpose, it takes the pressure off our performance.

While it feels fantastic when everything seems to go my way, the circumstances that brought that happiness will never last. This world is fading away, but whatever God starts, He will sustain. That’s His job, and He is always faithful!

Our goals, plans, and dreams are certainly valuable! But they are nothing compared to Jesus Himself! Let’s have the right perspective. This is His Story, His Plan, and His Year. Trust Him!

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God, thanks for taking such good care of me! Thank You for Your sovereignty. I’m grateful You’ve got this, Lord. Help me do what You’ve asked me to do. Help me continue to rest and trust in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Would anything in your life be different if you dared to give God control? How would your daily routine change? Would you feel less stressed over the course of time?

Tasks: Write down your goals, plans, and dreams. Then, pray about them and let God have control. He can lead you and bring them to fruition, or He can give you something better!

Finding Grace #200

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week we eased back into normal life after the holidays! Lydia and I had a really good break, which was just what we needed. I’m so grateful for the chance to relax! We enjoyed playing so many fun games and doing art projects together. I also was able to get caught up on a few of my own tasks. Thank You, Lord!

Lydia went back to school on Thursday, and I went back to work. It was good to have two days to readjust and then another weekend. We made it! LOL

We had a blizzard over the weekend and a late start for daycare and work on Monday. We received over a foot of snow! Last night, I turned onto a busy street and reached the intersection right before the light turned red. I had difficulty stopping, however, and slid into oncoming traffic! I ended up turning and going with the traffic (instead of being T-boned). I’m grateful for God’s protection!

My snow removal service (and a couple of my neighbors) have been good to help with my snow. I still have my own portion to do though, and this week, I also cleared the bike path where the bus stop is located. It took me over an hour to do just that one portion. For fun, I calculated the volume of snow I cleared. Conservatively, I shoveled and blew away 377 cubic feet of snow! It felt like a big accomplishment! 😉

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Looking Back and Moving Forward

Welcome to 2020!! Wow, that has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?!

Recently on social media, people were having a ‘decade challenge’ where they posted a picture of themselves in 2009 and 2019. It was cool to see how many people have stayed the same and/or changed.

I didn’t post any pictures, in part because I couldn’t find any pictures of me from 2009 without a lot of effort. Hey, it’s been ten years! 😉

Nonetheless, I have certainly been thinking about all that has happened in the last decade. After all, hindsight is 20/20. 😉 It is important to remember all the things we’ve been through. Not because we should stay there, but so we can learn and grow past them.

Here is a brief recap of my last decade. I’m looking back while still moving forward. Also, I did find a picture of me with Dave right before we moved to North Dakota in early 2010. Close enough! 🙂

2009: Dave and I celebrated one year of marriage. We also went through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. The wise principles we learned through this course put us on the same page in our marriage by giving us common goals and helping us communicate better. Only God could know what was coming next, and I’m extremely grateful for the impact that course had on both our finances and our marriage.

2010: With my support, Dave decided to apply for a job in West Fargo, North Dakota, with Caterpillar. He was hired almost immediately, and that set the stage for the biggest challenges of our lives. We felt God was calling us to a big adventure, though had we known what that entailed, perhaps we would have stayed put. Still, we moved twelve hours away from our family and friends and soon settled into our brand new home and community. Dave had so much fun using his snowblower to clear several feet of snow that year!

2011: The highlights here include meeting many new neighbors and friends at church. However, it was difficult to be far from family, and we had to miss several fun events. Later that year, Dave and I celebrated Lydia Ruth’s arrival. She was named after my grandmother, who died the year before. I will never forget the pure joy on Dave’s face when Lydia was born. He was so very proud to be her Daddy!

2012: One afternoon in early May 2012, Dave came home from work early and stayed in bed for a week. He felt sick and had no energy. I could hear his stomach making sounds from over ten feet away. On Mother’s Day, I took him to the ER and he was admitted. We soon found out he had Stage IV colon cancer. Lydia was not quite six months old. We spent the rest of the year going through chemo and two major surgeries. Through this, God used cancer to expose my deepest fears and challenge my faith. It was grueling, as you can imagine, but Dave’s positive attitude will always stand out in my mind.

2013: A very difficult year. Dave continued to decline and was in the hospital more than he was at home. He had a third major surgery in April. My faith was in crisis mode. At first, he rebounded, thanks to the amazing support of our loving family and friends. But on May 15th, 2013, Dave died at the age of 34 and my life as a widowed single mom began. I was 30 years old. Even in the midst of shock and immense heartache, I knew I needed to give myself time to properly grieve. By this point, all I could do was cling to Jesus. Whereas cancer rocked my faith, grief is where my faith was remade. I’m grateful God caught me and held me through it all.

2014: Dave and I had previously tried to dedicate Lydia at church, but each time, he had been too sick. So, in May 2014 (around the one-year anniversary of his death), I decided to do it on my own. For me, it was a huge step forward because it was scary to stand in front of everyone as a single mom. But, in terms of faith, it felt like I needed to draw a line in the sand and make a stand. For me, it was a Joshua 24:15 moment: “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

2015: I continued to work through various aspects of grief. (That could be said about every year since!) In May 2015, I decided to start blogging to mark our path of moving forward and finding God’s grace along the way. For months, I worked behind the scenes to learn the system and prepare. It took me a little while to find the courage to ‘put myself out there,’ but I finally went live in August. I’m so glad I did!

2016: Lydia began preschool in the fall. I wasn’t sure of where to send her, but God lead me to just the right place. Lydia’s teachers really connected well with her, and it was fun to see how she grew that year. Also, Lydia felt comfortable to start talking more about Dave to her teachers and little friends. I was concerned about this at first, but her teachers wisely and graciously helped us through that. They gave Lydia all the time, space, and resources to explain herself and come to terms with the loss in her own little way. I’m forever grateful and we have continued to roll with it as best we can.

2017: A year of transition. The company I worked for was bought out by a larger healthcare organization. My job was merged into the new system. It was scary, but I am glad I stuck it out. During this time, I also had a friend stay with us for six months while she got back on her feet. It was a fun time and our friendship grew stronger. That fall, Lydia started Kindergarten. It felt like a huge milestone!

2018: My parents moved to Florida in the spring. It was a little sad for me, but I am happy they have adjusted so well! We went to visit them during Lydia’s birthday and had a great time. Among other fun adventures, Lydia also started first grade. Our most stable year!

2019: Yet another transitional year. In February, I contacted a dietitian friend and talked with her about something related to Dave. Then, summer came and she contacted me about a new job! I had prayerfully felt something new was coming, and I am so glad I decided to apply. I have been there since August and it has been a huge blessing to me. There have been challenges in terms of daycare and other adjustments, but I am really grateful for the opportunity.

So what’s next? Well, only God knows. 🙂 But as I look back over the years, I see one transition after another. Yes, growth means changing through the ups and downs.

A good attitude always helps as we trust God to turn each problem into something good. I am looking forward to seeing His faithfulness as we continue on this great adventure.

“You’ve been so, so good to me. You’ve been so, so good to me. Oh, to think where I would be, if not for You, if not for You.” —Remembrance by Hillsong Worship

Despite my many challenges over the last ten years, God has never left me on my own. Each step of the way, He has helped me. I didn’t always understand how He was working, but I can see it now. And, I am grateful for His grace and goodness toward me.

I don’t know what your last decade entailed, but I hope you can see how God came through for you. He has not forgotten you. He fights for you and loves you very much!

Our Victory is in Jesus!

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God, be praised! We cannot thank You enough for all You have done for us. As we look back and see Your faithfulness, please build our trust. Give us the courage to keep moving forward, knowing You will lead us and catch us when we fall. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What challenges and victories have you faced over the last year…or ten? Can you see God’s hand in your circumstances, working them out for good?

Tasks: Write down the challenges you faced and the coinciding victories. Then, give God praise. If you haven’t seen anything good just yet, hang on! It’s coming!