(Not) All By Myself

This past week, Lydia and I met my family in Myrtle Beach, SC, for a fun getaway. Out of fourteen family members, some flew from North Dakota and Arizona, while the rest drove from Florida and Illinois.

My older sister and youngest brother carpooled overnight with their spouses and two little ones. My nephew, Alex, and niece, Lily, did very well on the sixteen-hour road trip and slept much of the way. 

As they rolled into town, my sister and crew were running errands to get a few groceries. The little kids tagged along. Lily is a perfect blend of sweet and sassy. She has a small voice, but she’s very clear on what she wants. She is a couple weeks shy of turning three but is already fairly independent. At one point, Lily climbed up into her car seat. She confidently proclaimed, “I can do it all by myself!

However, because Lily had been sleeping earlier, the car seat was still reclined further back than usual. Thus, her short little legs were left dangling in the air. My sister giggled as she relayed the story to us. Especially when Lily quickly realized, “I can’t do it all by myself!”

Yesterday, I talked with a Veteran who is unwilling (or afraid?) to ask his family for help. I am grateful that my family is close and supportive, but not all families are!

The problem is that this Veteran could use a lot of help beyond what his healthcare team can provide. He is paralyzed with limited ability and resources. I encouraged him to request help grocery shopping, but he is determined to drive his electric scooter 45 minutes one way so he doesn’t have to bother anyone. Thus, he is limited in what foods and how much he can buy and transport, further impacting his health. I support his desire to be independent, but it seems his stubbornness is making it more difficult. 

Whenever I think back to Lily and her legs flailing around, I smile. But she has a good point. God doesn’t want us to do it all by ourselves. We were never meant to go through life solo, trying to make it all work out in our own effort. And, just like someone swooped in to help Lily into her car seat, God is eager to help us.

Sometimes, we move too quickly without thinking through the process. Or, we make poor decisions and are too proud to admit our mistakes. But if we get ahead of God, He is still able to help us figure it out. However, we have to humbly admit we need His help!

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God, thanks for always coming through for me. I’m sorry for the times I ignore You, thinking I can do Life alone. Forgive me and draw me close. I need You every hour! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you standing strong in Jesus or flailing about on your own? What will it take to let go and let God?

Task: Bring your weaknesses to Jesus so He can be your strength. Be willing to ask for help, and be willing to give it!

Book Review: The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

I hope you had a great holiday weekend! I am thankful for the brave men and women who gave their lives so we could celebrate or have the freedom to spend our time as we wish, more or less. Their sacrifices and those of their families are not forgotten.

We had a fairly relaxing weekend and prepared for a few upcoming plans. It is good to be able to rest and take breaks by ourselves and with friends and family. Life is too short not to have fun sometimes!

Recently, I have been reading a good book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. It talks about how fast we go through life and all we risk missing. Essentially, we must stay in-step with Jesus’ perfect pace (which we often perceive as S-L-O-O-O-O-W).

Free Bike Blur photo and picture

Each of us has unique limitations, and most of us want to push past them! According to Comer, our limitations include our physical bodies, minds/thoughts, giftings, personalities and emotional wiring, families of origin, socioeconomic factors, education and careers, seasons of life and responsibilities, and God’s call on our lives. Some of these are great strengths, actually, but they still carry weight in how we live and the choices we make.

Sometimes, it is okay to rush, like in an emergency. But most of the time, being frantic leaves us frazzled. At the minimum, our body’s stress response takes a while to return to baseline, and over time, this leads to chronic inflammation and illnesses.

Over the years, and even more lately, I have had to step back from busyness. I am working on accepting (and understanding) my limitations as a widow and single mom. I am so grateful for the ways Jesus has covered me since I cannot be several places at once. I am becoming more choosy about my yeses. God knows all my strengths and limitations; He is using them to shape me and make me more like Jesus.

Loving well takes time. Joy involves staying in the moment. Peace requires wisdom and intention. Patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control… All of these require a slower pace. We cannot bear the fruits of the Spirit if we are rushing off to the next thing.

Free Pocket Watch Time photo and picture

I highly recommend Comer’s book, which is food for thought and actionable. He reminds us of the Sabbath and the importance of rest. He encourages us to embrace simplicity and enjoy silence and solitude regularly. Comer suggests using airplane mode on your cell phone and having boundaries for using it. He says to intentionally put ourselves in the long line at the grocery store to build patience and make ourselves uncomfortable. These are just a few ideas; even if you do half of what he says, it will be good.

These ideas do not promote checking out of society but freeing yourself up to follow Jesus more closely. By taking time with Him, listening, and obeying, we will be working in His strength and have a greater impact than when we are doing it with our own effort, running on fumes.

Isn’t that what we want? To stay close to Jesus and influence others for Him. Instead, we are racing to keep up with the world and shortchanging ourselves in the process. Yikes!

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God, thanks for calling us to a slower pace with You. Help us eliminate any distractions so we can fulfill our true calling—to experience Your goodness and bring others to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Do you find yourself stressed and striving each day, or are you calm and clear on what you need to accomplish in God’s timing and strength?

Tasks: Read and meditate (mull over) Matthew 11:28-30. Think about any changes you might need to make so you can experience God’s rest.

Finding Grace #429

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a busy week filled with many important tasks. I tried to stay on top of work in order to do a little traveling. At home, we also had to get things ready.

Overall, work was manageable and good. I had some good conversations with my patients and coworkers! Sometimes, my job requires a lot of creativity, but sometimes, people just need me to listen.

Lydia had her last day of school on Thursday! It was wild how fast sixth grade flew by. She had a great year and grew a lot in height and navigating friendships. She also challenged herself with orchestra and pursued advanced math. Here’s to a fun summer!

This week was pretty wet. We had a brief tornado warning, lots of wind and pouring rain. Thankfully, nothing major happened. I am especially thankful for my sump pump. It doesn’t run very often, so I forget about it. While it can be loud, I am glad it does the job! 

Today, I was able to mow in between storms. This afternoon, we went to a graduation party for a coworker’s son. It was fun, and I can envision that being us in about six years!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #428

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Nature Wildlife photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was another good week. Thanks for all your support and encouragement on Wednesday, the eleventh anniversary of Dave’s death. I really appreciate your kind words and prayers!

On Wednesday, I took the day off work, had some car maintenance done, and received a relaxing facial. Later, Lydia and I went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse with a friend. Dave always enjoyed that restaurant, and my friend and I hadn’t been there in years – perhaps since we last went with Dave!

Lydia had her last orchestra concert this week, and I am happy to report she will continue next year. In fact, she tried out for chamber orchestra at her school and made the cut! I look forward to more orchestra concerts in the future! Lydia has made several new friends this year. There are only about ten violists are in her grade, and she said they are all pretty close. I love her confidence!

Work went well, and we had some important meetings about good changes ahead. However, I also took off yesterday since Lydia got sick right before school. Thankfully, I was still home to help her! I will have to catch up on work next week, but I am glad to have the ability to be there for Lydia, too!

Lydia and I finished our screens, and they turned out really well. I was able to clean all the windows and windowsills, which was probably a good thing anyway! Then, this morning, I finally reinstalled the screens. Overall, it was easier than I expected, but still a drawn-out process (about a month!). I could do the other windows around the house, but I don’t really want to!

The weather was great this week, with cooler, wet mornings and warm/hot afternoons. I mowed the lawn last night between potential rain showers, and it took me two hours because I bagged the grass (twice as long as usual). But the yard looks good, making the effort worth it! The little blue and white tree swallows are back and sitting on my deck to survey “their” domain. It has been fun to see them flitting around.

Speaking of birds, I also saw a downy woodpecker this week! I took a walk on my lunchbreak and was so surprised to see it! It was so cute and the highlight of my day.

I am still sore from all the work last night, so I am really glad I could relax today! I made some banana muffins, and Lydia had a friend over. They are in viola classes together, and she seems really sweet. Otherwise, it’s just been routine Saturday things!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Staying Power

Today, Lydia and I are celebrating eleven years of Dave being in Heaven. As you can imagine, the month or two leading up to this day can be a little heavy. I try not to think about it much, but I can’t help it. I know it’s coming.

I tend to get a little emotional, which might show up as a soft, sensitive heart or with a short temper (not my usual!). I might get fired up or not care at all. It kind of depends on the day and the circumstances.

Typically, I am known for being steady and reliable. The one who shows up and follows through. But, during this brief period, I tend to do whatever it takes to keep moving forward.

Generally, that means pulling back from unnecessary activities to focus on what is. ‘No’ is a wonderful word! I used to apologize and try to explain, but this year, I have allowed myself not to worry about it. It has been a relief to show up as I am that day and be present.

It is funny how that has turned out. I have more energy, which has led to more courage to speak up about what matters and wisdom to let the other stuff go. I have been in tune with Jesus and have come into more of my own. His joy is my secret weapon and strength!

Reflecting on all this, I am grateful for all God has done. He has caught me, carried me, and sustained me. Right away, I knew I wanted to stay in Fargo, at least until Lydia was old enough to understand what happened. Moving is a lot of work, and I also wanted her to have closure.

Moving closer to family would have been easier, and maybe we will someday. But, for now, we are here. In the meantime, staying has meant asking for help and seeking God’s provision. He is the faithful One draws us close. There’s no place I’d rather be.

Years ago, I was inspired by various widows, such as Elisabeth Elliot and, later, Huldah Buntain, a missionary to India. When their husbands tragically died, they chose to stay where God had planted them, offering themselves to His work. I had my own reasons, but I have also seen God’s blessing in and through my life. I am so glad we stayed.

Staying put has helped me stay in-step with Jesus. This means going at His slower pace, not racing ahead or dragging my feet. As I wait on Him, I know when to move and when to rest. I have to lay aside daily distractions to ensure I can hear His voice and understand where He is leading me. After all, He holds me together (Colossians 1:17)!

While we often miss Dave and talk about him, we rejoice for the time we had with him. We are grateful that God has us in a good spot. Work is going well, and Lydia is thriving in school. We don’t know the future, but we know the best is yet to come. As we rest in Jesus’ presence, we rely on His staying power to see us through.

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God, thanks for Your grace and faithfulness all these years. You are so good to me, my All-In-All, always protecting me and providing for me. Help me keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Whose power are you relying on? How is that working for you? Are you living in your own limited strength or relying on the infinite, unmatchable power of Almighty God, the Creator of the Universe?

Tasks: When you want to run away from your emotions or problems, run directly to Jesus. His name means Salvation. He can handle all the craziness, but you have to bring it to Him!

A Secret Weapon

The last couple of weeks have been a bit…maddening. I’ve lost my temper once or twice and been a little grouchy. Some of it could be subconsciously being aware that the eleventh anniversary of Dave’s death is next week. But really, things have just built up.

At home, unexpected issues have popped up, including trouble replacing my screens after getting egged and picking up a ton of dog poop from my yard (though I don’t have a dog). Then, the fence at the edge of my property fell again (after a two-year fight to get it put back up). It’s just been a lot lately.

I’ve been tempted to have a little pity party, thinking things would be easier if Dave were still here. While that may be true, I know life is full of problems, so even then, something else would likely happen unexpectedly! I can be grateful my problems are not worse, and I know many people are facing greater trials.

Work has been busy as usual, too. Good, just not much downtime to think straight. LOL Thus, my patience has been a little short, but I have been trying to bring all these things to Jesus. I talked with my mom yesterday, and she reminded me that His joy is my strength!

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV

I recently heard Jesus was the most joyful person who has ever lived. In His presence is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11)! But He also had a very difficult life. He was born to suffer and die at my expense (and yours!). If Jesus can have abundant joy despite His circumstances, so can I.

Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, which means He wants to grow that in me. The seed has been planted, I just need to cultivate it. This goes for love, peace, patience, etc.

Fruit is meant to be shared with others, to refresh and encourage them, similar to grace. As my mom pointed out, God wants people to see Him in us, so how we display the fruits of the Spirit matters. This is a good reminder to keep looking for ways to serve others and take the focus off myself.

Here are some questions to consider: Do I show joy or grouchiness on my face? Do I bring love and peace to a situation or chaos? Am I loving, kind, and patient even when I don’t get my way? Do I call out the good in others? Do I speak gentle words or bring wrath? Am I faithful even when it costs me? Do I show self-control when life flings out of control?

While I don’t expect my house issues to suddenly disappear, I know they will all work out in time. And I can choose to enjoy life in the meantime. I can find fun and creative things to do, or at least look for ways to bring joy into small moments of my day. Joy is my secret weapon as I stay close to Jesus, for therein lies my strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

When things feel out of control, I will take them to the One who controls the Universe and cares for me infinitely (1 Peter 5:7).

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God, thanks for the fruits of Your Holy Spirit. Specifically, help me cultivate more peace, joy, and patience as I work through these challenges. Thanks for all You do for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Out of the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit, which ones do you need to cultivate the most right now?  (Galatians 5:22-23)

Task: Next time you feel bent out of shape, consider why. Do whatever it takes to protect your peace and joy. Remember, people are looking for Jesus in you!

Stubborn

I recently had similar conversations with two people about stubbornness as a character trait. Of course, we talked mostly in generalities, not identifying ourselves as stubborn! 😉

We all agreed that stubbornness can be a positive or negative trait, depending on the context. One form of stubbornness comes with perseverance in trials, where one simply pushes ahead and refuses to give up. This may include certain military leaders, parents fighting for their children, or someone seeking justice. (Stubbornness does not mean staying put in an abusive situation. Do what you can to leave and get help!)

That said, sometimes, stubbornness is a refusal to compromise or work with others. In that sense, stubbornness can hold one back. The Bible refers to stubbornness as rebellion. The Israelites rejected God and were referred to as a stiff-necked people! Yikes.

Naturally, someone can be stubborn and experience both situations at different times. In fact, many character traits can be strengths or weaknesses depending on circumstances. For instance, confidence taken to an extreme can become arrogance!

After those two conversations, I kept thinking about stubbornness. How do you tell if stubbornness propels you forward or holds you back?

The first thing that comes to mind is… your heart. Are you seeking the benefit of others? Are you standing on strong principles? Are you willing to compromise if certain conditions are met? Or, is your heart hardened by fear or pride? Are you stalling for personal gain?

I’m sure there are some other factors to consider, but for the sake of brevity, I encourage you to start with those questions above. If you are dragging your feet, maybe consider why and work through it with Jesus.

Jesus made you for a purpose. Whether or not you are stubborn, He already knows. I guarantee He has good plans for you. He can use all of your personality traits for His glory and your good! Don’t let resistance or quirks keep you from Jesus!

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God, thanks for making each of us unique. Help us understand our strengths and weaknesses so we may bless others and bring you glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you consider yourself to be stubborn? Why or why not? How is this a positive, and when does it become a negative?

Tasks: God gives each of us time to get to know Him, but He will not wait forever. If you have not chosen to submit your life and heart to Jesus, now is the perfect opportunity. Don’t wait!

Finding Grace #425

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Flowers Tulips photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was good and fairly normal.

The weather was mixed with some warmer and cooler days and a bit of sun, wind, and rain. It has been a pretty Spring so far, and I am glad to see the green grass and buds on the trees. I will probably have to mow next week, though it will be sooner than I ever have while living in North Dakota!

As I mentioned on Wednesday, my house was egged this week. I am grateful for the help of neighbors, and I still need to look into getting a new screen. If it is not too much work, I might rescreen all the windows in the front part of my house. That way, they all look clean and fresh again.

School and work went well this week. I had some great conversations with many of my coworkers, but overall, there’s nothing too important to report. It was nice and peaceful!

Today has also been a fairly calm day. I have done a few little projects, but I have mostly been talking on the phone, watching Bible archaeology videos by Appian Media, and reading. It is a welcome chance to relax.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Ducks In A Row

Spring means a lot of birds are arriving daily! I have noticed songbirds, geese, and ducks lately. Did you know there are over fifty types of ducks worldwide, including geese and swans? (This site reports 165, to be exact.)

Apparently, there are thirty-three different duck species in the United States. Some are friendly and some are territorial. As a side note, loons are not ducks. Now you know!

Not too long ago, I saw a picture of a duck with seventy-six ducklings following her! This article describes it as a ducky daycare of sorts. That makes me smile just thinking about it!

Just like God cares for the sparrows, he absolutely cares for the ducks, too!

Free Ducks Ducklings photo and picture

When life gets busy, we may say, “I need to get my ducks in row.” This expression suggests that we need to get organized or ensure all the details line up just so. It can be difficult because no one can keep all their ducks in a row for long! The ducks (or tasks) are constantly changing, even if they all cooperate and things go smoothly.

I definitely feel that way sometimes, and I am sure you do, too. I try to bend several ways to accomplish much more than I probably should. Lord help me!

I am listening to John Mark Comer’s book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. He writes how hurry and busyness lead to distraction and burnout. We tend to run, run, run, and leave little room for margin.

As Christians, this puts us in a dangerous position because if we are so busy all the time, we don’t take time to check in with God. Doing something FOR God is different than doing it WITH God.

King Saul learned that the difficult way in 1 Samuel 13. His soldiers were afraid and leaving the battle, and Saul got tired of waiting for God’s prophet to come. He took matters into his own hands, and because of his impatience and disobedience, Saul eventually lost everything.

Free Duck Ornithology photo and picture

God’s pace is SLOW compared to the world’s pace. We can only survive spiritually if we roll back the busyness and walk with God at the pace He sets. Not several steps ahead without checking in to see if we are actually supposed to go in that direction.

The author mentioned that God is love, and perfect love takes time. So do joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. For example, we need to slow down to love people well, enjoy the present moment, and have peace of mind. Helping people or listening to them takes intention. When we are faced with temptation, we are at risk if we jump right in before weighing options.

Slowing down likely means having fewer ducks overall (tasks on my to-do list). I won’t shirk my responsibilities or give away my little duckies, but when it’s time for them to fledge (our time together is complete), I don’t have to get more ducks ‘just because.’ I trust God to help me know what I can handle and what that looks like.

After all, God cares for the ducks, and He cares for me, too. All the world’s ducks are His. And all circumstances and the tasks in my little world are under His guidance, too. Or, at least, they are if I ask for His help and go at His pace!

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God, thanks for the gift of ducks! Thanks for the new life they represent and the joy they bring. Help me submit my daily schedule to you. Give me just the right amount of tasks and help me stay focused on You. I want to walk with You, In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How many “ducks” are you in charge of right now? Is it too much or just enough? Are you trusting God?

Tasks: Let’s honor God by checking in with Him regarding our schedule. We can trust Him to give us just the right amount of ducks. Keep in mind chaos and overwhelm are NOT from Him… don’t beat yourself up if your ducks are running wild. Just bring them to Jesus and let Him help you!

Living Redeemed

Spring is in the air, and I sense God doing something new! In some ways, I feel like this season has already been drawn out since we had hardly any winter snow. But, I also feel a little behind the game because it is easy to coast along when I am busy with other things. Sometimes, it is nice to have some urgency, and at different times, it is good just to relax. Either way, I am excited to see what God is doing.

On Easter Sunday, Psalm 103:1-5 was shared, and the sermon was about what it means to be redeemed. Essentially, redemption means that a ransom was paid (Jesus’ blood) so we can live freely with new purpose. Living under God’s grace has many benefits, as you can read below:

Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Free River Stream photo and picture

Below are a few of my notes. I certainly have some thinking to do, but this is a good place to start. I hope you find these points useful and can personalize them for your circumstances! 

As God’s children, we are redeemed from sin, death, and fear. We are given new life and have the freedom to walk it out in faith and Victory. Collectively, we are redeemed to participate in God’s Kingdom and do good works, which He has prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).

But what good works did Jesus redeem me for specifically? They will be unique to me. I have a special purpose and hidden potential. My life belongs to Jesus, and what I do matters, but it will likely look different from everyone else.

What are the consequences of not living my full purpose? What will I miss out on? Who is depending on me to be faithful? Whatever the answer, it affects me, my family, my community, and the Church in general. If I don’t do my part, everything suffers. Jesus already did the main work, but He still has a plan for me to complete. Get going!

Sooo… What am I waiting for? What is holding me back? This could be apathy, rebellion, fear, etc., depending on the situation! It’s definitely worth thinking through and dealing with the root causes. Otherwise, I’ll never get started.

Each of us will have different answers to the questions I listed above. But, it is worth praying about what God wants you to know and do. There is great blessing joy, and peace when we are on His path for us. That doesn’t mean we won’t have a struggle, though!

Living redeemed takes courage, but what an adventure it is! Do your best and focus on progress, not perfection. Remember, we live under God’s abundant grace! He is committed and more than able to complete the good work he started in you (Philippians 1:6).

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Heavenly Father, thanks for redemption, new life, and grace. You are good, and so are your plans for me! Help me understand Your work in my life and how You have equipped me for it. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What do you think God has redeemed you for specifically? Do you anticipate any changes, or are you already where you need to be?

Task: When praying for specific next steps, consider your personality, talents, passion areas, and life experiences. All of these can help determine if you are on the right path.