Comfort Amid Grief

Sometimes you are in the right place at the right time, and sometimes, that place is church! This past Sunday, I had a God moment at church that I want to share with you.

About a year ago, I met a woman and her husband. They had been watching online through much of COVID, but I met them the first Sunday they decided to “try out” our church in person.

They were really sweet, and I was glad to meet them. Flash forward to the present, and the husband’s dementia has progressed. He is now in a nursing home, about an hour and a half away. His dear wife visits him every other day, though he does not fully recognize her.

I have encouraged this wife whenever I see her; she has become a friend. Though my experience was with cancer, I know how it feels to be a caregiver and decision maker in an end-of-life situation. Watching your beloved spouse decline is difficult, and I have been cheering her on.

So, when I saw this lady on Sunday, I stopped to greet her after the service. She was so happy to see me and shared how she had been struggling. I affirmed her statement that she is already grieving, though her husband is still alive. I agreed with her sentiment that she hopes he “goes soon” rather than have this continue over months or years. (Either way, we know he is in God’s hands and that his suffering is not in vain.)

I listened while my friend conveyed her lack of motivation. In these challenging times, I confirmed it is normal to need to get groceries but feel overwhelmed leaving the house; or, to finally prepare a meal but have no desire to eat it.

She mentioned she keeps forgetting about a support group at the VA (where I work), and I coached her with some tips. Marking her calendar in advance, while she is thinking about it, might help her not feel surprised whenever she gets a same-day reminder.

I also offered to help connect her with someone at the VA who could help guide her through the funeral and cemetery details (when the time comes). As she talked it through, she started to smile, and I could see her burden was lifted a little.

I gave this dear woman a big hug, and she just fell into my arms. I prayed for her on the spot, and she just melted in surrender. Not that my words were so deep, in fact, they were rather simple, but she felt seen and understood. She said it was just what she needed.

We only talked for a few minutes after the service, but it felt like a God-ordained moment for both of us. I am grateful He has used my story and experiences to help and guide others along the way.

I was reminded that we don’t JUST go to church to worship God but to be His hands and feet. My friend said, “And to think, I wasn’t even feeling up to coming today. I was going to stay home and watch online. But now, I am so glad I came.”

2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT, says that God “comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

During the well-timed sermon, our pastor mentioned this all is like a game of tag. God comforts us…and then it’s our turn to comfort others with the peace, strength, and grace He has given us. Tag! You’re it!

So, don’t discount your story or experiences. God can use all your pain, grief, and life’s ups and downs to make something beautiful… if you let Him!

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God, thanks for my friend. Would You please encourage, strengthen, and comfort her? Please meet her needs (spoken and unspoken) and remind her of Your grace and love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you seen God at work in your life story? Have you seen Him use your pain and grief in someone else’s life?

Task: Listen to this song! God will never fail you, no matter what.

Finding Grace #331

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free photos of Marguerite

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was week was really good!! We finished up puppy sitting, and Lydia finally understood why an adorable puppy is not in our future. They simply require more time and effort than we have to give right now. We did have fun, though!

Work was very busy, and I was able to work longer on Friday. I usually only work four hours going into the weekend, but sometimes I have the opportunity to stay longer. That means I can see patients, help my coworkers, or get caught up. This week, it was well-timed because there was much to do! Thankfully, I finished a few important things on my to-do list!

This past weekend, a beloved pastor in our community died suddenly. Pastor Cal was well known not only in North Dakota but also had an impact on ministers all over the world. He spent ~30 years at my local church but also led mission trips to Chicago and served elsewhere in our community. His visitation and funeral were on Wednesday and Thursday, with over 1550 people attending in person and over 2000 people watching online. It was amazing to see how much one person can have for Jesus when they live and love intentionally. He will be greatly missed!

On a personal note, I appreciate that Pastor Cal visited us, encouraged us, and prayed for us all those years ago when Dave was sick. He was always full of exuberant joy, but he did not have a lightweight faith! Pastor Cal’s funeral was the first I have attended at our church since Dave’s, which gave me mixed emotions. I was sad but also happy both of them are with Jesus, worshiping Him. I also know they are cheering me on. 

Today, Lydia mowed a bit while I did some weeding. Then, I finished the yard while she showered. It was only her second time, so I want to ease her into it! She’ll probably do all the yard once she gets better at it! 😉 Later, we ordered some pizza and are mostly relaxing after a long, busy week. Thank You, Jesus!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Stay the Course

If you are ready to give up, give in, throw in the towel, or put a fork in it (you’re done), this post is for you! There are so many things coming at us every day. Life sure is chaotic at times! If you are feeling drained, keep reading!

Some internal factors include the daily stress of getting out the door or getting everything done. Then, add in pain, grief, loneliness, anxiety,  PTSD, financial issues, or chronic health conditions, etc.

Externally, everything from the news to the weather counts. Every week, it seems we keep getting hit by one horrible tragedy after another. Wars, famine, violence, death, and more. These are very real problems with no clear solution.

On a smaller level, work is time-consuming (at the least) and relationships can be messy. It’s tough to gain momentum. Life is tough, no doubt, and it may not get easier any time soon.

Free illustrations of Big bang

Perhaps you are simply tired of waiting for things to change. It’s easy to get antsy or even bored, tired of the same old problems. You’re all ready to pivot toward the new and shiny, but wait! You may not fully understand the problems that come with those gains (because you know there will be problems and challenges, there too!).

Yes, sometimes we crave busyness and excitement, but when we have that we crave the calm of peace and quiet. Generally, it is good to be content wherever we are right now. Though, sometimes God does use discontent to get us on board with the next steps.

Either way, I want to challenge you today: Stay the course. If you are waiting for life to fall into place, you are in good company. I understand your frustration when it seems your prayers have gone nowhere, but God has not forgotten you! You can still choose to enjoy life today.

Maybe He has you in a holding pattern, just a little longer to finishing preparing you or the next set of circumstances. You can keep serving with joy where you are now. All around us people need His love and help!

The problem is we feel like it’s all on us. Some of us work day in and day out to get ahead. But, as Christ-followers, we walk by faith, which means trusting even when we can’t see the path before us. By faith, stay the course and stay close to God.

If you don’t know what to do, stay put. Don’t move until God says to move. If you don’t know what’s next, seek His input. That alone can save you a lot of heartache… and time, if you have to undo mistakes.

If you’re struggling with patience, remember that’s a fruit of the Holy Spirit. He put it in you and wants to cultivate it in your life! You are not alone in your struggle. Let Him help!

If you recall, STRESS can be an acronym for “Still Trying to Run the Entire Solar System.” But, remember, the One who created the stars and calls them by name also made you on purpose and knows you personally.

Just like God hung the stars and guides them, if you let Him, He will guide you, too. He has a wonderful plan for your life, and He is able to redirect you as needed. Stay the course.

God never grows tired or weary, so He’s always got your back. He cares about what concerns you, more than you could ever know. What God has for you, is for you.

As long as you are walking close in step with Him, God Almighty will make sure you get all that He has for you. You don’t have to be afraid of missing out. He is trustworthy and your life is not a small thing to Him… You are covered in His mercy and grace!

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God, You hold all things together in Christ, from outer space to a teeny-tiny ant hill! Thanks for holding my life together, too. You are so good, Lord. Help me trust You more with all the challenges in my life. Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you dealing with S.T.R.E.S.S.?? How can you trust God with it all today?

Tasks: Make a list of all that is bothering you, or the pros and cons of a specific situation. Then, look at it in light of God’s grace and goodness. Wait on Him, and see Him work it out on your behalf. Trust Him!

Finding Grace #330

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a full week, but most of it was fairly normal!!

One highlight was meeting with a recently widowed single mom on Monday. We had a great time together, and I think it was just what we both needed!

On Tuesday, we met with some dear friends who are moving in the next couple of weeks. The couple was featured in my book and really were there for us when Dave was sick and after he died. We will miss them, but I am excited for them to be closer to the grandkids and a new work opportunity.

Yesterday, after work, I met with another friend for coffee. She’s been through a lot in the last few years, and it was good to catch up. I’m grateful for how God has carried her through life’s challenges. He always meets us right where we are!

This weekend, we are puppy-sitting for another friend who is moving away. Hazel is half-Dalmatian/half GSP. She is six months, forty-three pounds, long and lean! She loves to explore, and we have been enjoying lots of neighborhood walks! Thankfully, she is fairly well-behaved for a puppy and Lydia is having fun! 

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Protect, Provide, and Prepare

Once again, I have been thinking of all the ways God protects us. Sometimes we are aware of His mercy and grace but often we have no clue.

For instance, a while back, I was backing out of my parking space after work and was thinking about the upcoming errands for my evening. I braked and then saw the car parked directly behind me… in my rearview mirror. I did not get out to see just how close I was, but I could have easily hit the car if I had kept going in reverse.

I had no idea it was that close… obviously, I wasn’t paying attention because my mind was elsewhere. I do have a good backup camera, but since I park in a less busy lot, I didn’t put it all together that there would be a car “so close.” (All the other vehicles were nowhere near me.)

But I immediately thanked God and praised Him for watching out for me. He protected me and the other person’s car, too!

Free photos of Flower

Of course, God’s protection doesn’t always mean no trouble or lack of challenges. As you may recall, in May, I had someone my driver’s side mirror. But even then, God protected me and my car.

Thankfully, the damage was contained to only a small area. It could have been so much worse. Like if you’re going to have your car hit by someone, that’s the best possible scenario!

And, the other person paid for the damage that very day. It took about ten days to get it fixed, but I was able to drive it in the meantime. I could see God’s hand at work, even though I was unaware of how it all would play out. He is a good Provider!

That made me consider how many times God prepares us in advance for certain challenges. Only He could then uses those victories to build us up for the next challenge!

Free photos of Lavenders

How does God protect, provide for, and/or prepare you? Three things come to my mind, but there are so many more! I’d love to know your thoughts, too!

1) God protects us from and prepares us for unknown circumstances. This might include getting a medical test for one reason and catching another illness early while it is still treatable. Note: It may not work that way for someone you know, but God is no less good. He is still in control and has a plan and purpose for the pain!

2) Sometimes, God steps in and stops or promotes a decision outside of your control. (Case in point: A few months ago, I faced a tough decision that was already made in my favor by the time I showed up.)

3) God protects us and prepares us by using the people in our lives, too. Some people rotate in and out, while some stick around. And some circle back at a different time! But, ultimately, He works these relationships out for our good, which often means growth and refining.

One final example: Last weekend, I needed to change a light bulb in the garage. It was a 48″ fluorescent one, and my arms don’t extend that far! I was three rungs up on a ladder and kept getting down to try another angle. Not my favorite thing! I had a hunch that Lydia would come find me and scare me by accident. Sure enough, I soon heard her on the other side of the door getting her shoes. Thank You, God, for the heads up!

So, I paused and called to her. She came outside and I reminded her to stay back. We then prayed that I could get the light in both sockets without falling. Praise God, I did it!

At the end of the day, there are countless ways God protects, provides for, and/or prepares us. Regardless of what happens in our lives, if we are on God’s side, we can trust He will work everything out for our good and His glory. That’s a promise in Romans 8:28!

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God, thanks for all Your goodness to us! Lord, we only see a small part of what You do every day. Lord, help us become aware as we learn to trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is one example of how God worked things out for you recently? Did He protect you outright or prepare you to walk through the challenge?

Tasks: Make a list of how God is working in your life lately! Listen to “For the Good,” by Riley Clemmons.

Lessons from History

“Ok, Lydia, you need to get ready for bed.”

“You’re not going to watch this without me, are you?!”

I had to laugh because Lydia seems to like history and documentaries like me! Well, sort of… some of them are a little gruesome in their realistic reenactments of war. I don’t think she quite “gets” things like I do just yet, but maybe it will serve her well as she learns about some of the topics and people in school.

Maybe I’m a nerd, but lately, I have watched a PBS documentary on Benjamin Franklin; a few episodes on Wondrium about famous American women; and History Channel documentaries on Ulysses S. Grant and Theodore Roosevelt. Wow. I am in awe.

Free illustrations of United

Ben Franklin had a lot of flaws, but he was also basically a genius, and this carried over to his skills as a statesman and inventor. We are still operating on principles he suggested in our nation’s infancy.

US Grant was an understated hero. I read a biography about him as a kid but I had forgotten a lot of details. (I put those long school bus rides home to good use!) He was humble and somewhat misunderstood, yet he did his best under tough circumstances. He could be a bulldog at times, but also quite kind and thoughtful. As a side note: He knew or knew of most of the commanders of the Union and Confederate Armies in the Civil War because they went to West Point together and had similar training.

So far, the women have been abolitionists, suffragists, writers, and/or wives of Presidents. I am grateful for the example they set to pursue their passions and channel their ideas for the greater good!

Teddy Roosevelt (TR) was an anomaly of sorts. He was a sick weak child, but he pushed himself. Every channeled his emotions and energy into every challenge he faced. TR was popular, friendly, and full of flare. He was occasionally self-centered, but he was able to fight for the underdog. He brought reform, and I imagine he would have a heyday in our government now! Did you know TR was a young boy and watched Abraham Lincoln’s funeral procession outside his grandfather’s New York home?!

Regardless of the storyline, it is so interesting to learn about each person: their personality quirks, family background, wins, losses, and life challenges. We tend to remember their successes, but really, they held prejudices and weren’t always on the “right side” of history.

Still, they persevered and we can learn from them. I would have loved to meet some of these famous people. Not because they were icons, but really to say ‘thank you’ for all they did. Next up: A documentary on the Buffalo Soldiers.

Free vector graphics of Ulysses grantFree vector graphics of Theodore roosevelt

This small sample of men and women had great impact, and I can see how God used them to carry out His purposes. At the same time, I know the vast majority of us will never be famous. Maybe you are well-known among your peers, but maybe not.

But, the cool thing is… our contributions still matter, too! God notices every little thing. He has placed each of us at this point in History. He has great work for us to do!

We may never fully understand how much impact we will have on those who come after us. But, we can’t let fear stop us from living fully today.

For instance, TR had a lot of losses in his life. Yet, he seized the opportunities he had knowing they might never come again. Let’s do the same, knowing God is with us and for us. He stands ready to empower us, so let’s move with His grace and guidance!

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God, You are the Author of History. Thanks for guiding our nation; Lord, we need Your mercy and grace even now. Help each of us to do our part. Show us how to keep living for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you like history and documentaries? If you could have lunch with any famous person, living or dead, who would you pick?

Tasks: Don’t let fear get the best of you. Your life matters! Step out in faith and become all God intended!

Finding Grace #327

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a busy week, full of hard work!

Oddly enough, I fell down a small set of stairs, after missing the bottom step. Thankfully, I was not hurt badly and just had a nice bruise on my arm where I caught myself. It is still a little sore and colorful but improving.

Lydia attended a couple of art classes during the week. She went with a friend, and it was really helpful because she could get a ride there. They pour-painted some canvases and created objects with resin. It was fun to see the end results!

Each night this week was busy. It included the typical blog writing, grocery shopping, and other errands. But I also ended up mowing, paying some routine bills, and making summer plans. All good things, but it all took a lot of time.

I saw some gorgeous peonies in the healing garden at work (picture above). Walking through the garden is one reason I park across the street every day (instead of the regular employee parking lot)! 

On Friday, I took myself to see another movie after work, while Lydia was at a YMCA field trip. This time, I saw Top Gun: Maverick! It was really good. It had a lot of references to the original 80s movie, but I think it was even better. Not only the improvised picture and action, but the storyline brought things full circle. I’d recommend it!

Today, I finished putting out the deck furniture (after staining it last weekend). I also worked on catching up around the house, while Lydia worked on chores, cleaning her room, and doing some art at home. We had the screen door open all day! It felt pretty relaxing and productive!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #325

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free photos of Crab apple

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week, but a little bittersweet!

 First, Lydia finished up fourth grade! She had an absolutely amazing year academically and socially. Her teacher was so encouraging and really focused on forming cohesiveness among classmates. It was fun to see Lydia learn and grow. 

Nonetheless, the Texas school shooting really hit home because Lydia is in the same age group and grade as many of the victims, and her class had a similar amount of kids. I was fairly emotional for a couple of days, and I tried to pull myself together when picking up Lydia from school. It was good just to hold her close. She had already heard about the shooting from one of her friends, and we had a good conversation about it. Ultimately, we belong to Jesus and we rely on Him to keep us safe. But, we also know He can call us Home anytime, so we need to be prepared.

Yesterday, Lydia and I took a little road trip a few hours into Minnesota! Today, we visited Safari North Wildlife Park, near Brainerd. We fed the giraffes carrots and parakeets some millet. We saw so many animals and could have stayed longer than we did! We have been wanting to go for a while, but it was still a rather an impromptu decision. After this bittersweet week, I am so glad we went!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Incomparable

This week, I was showing Lydia a cute dog video online when a commercial popped up with a popular fitness brand (Company A) showcasing their gear. Of course, a trim model was using the fitness equipment and was dressed in a clingy outfit.

I was ready to move on to the next cute dog, but Lydia told me what she thought about Company A’s advertising. “Mom, they are using this skinny model to get people to buy their products.”

Her statement piqued my interest because I hadn’t expected her to be so aware. Naturally, I quizzed her a little. “What else do you think they are trying to say, Lydia?”

“If you buy this, you will be like her. If want to look like this, you have to buy this outfit and gear. There’s only one kind of acceptable person…. but of course, that’s not true.”

Free photos of Young woman

Then, Lydia mentioned another comparable brand with a slightly different focus. She said, “Company B uses people who are all shapes, sizes, and colors. Tall, short, black, white, and so on.”

I asked her if she picked up any other messages in their advertising. “You can be who you’re meant to be. You are unique and don’t have to look like everyone else. Healthy goes beyond how you look.”

“Lydia, I am impressed that you understand their marketing and can see what they really mean! Where did you learn all of this?”

She replied, “I learned that from you!” 🙂

We went on to discuss moving our bodies in healthy ways and feeding our bodies well so they will do what we need them to do. Thankfully, ‘healthy’ can mean something different for each of us!

I asked Lydia if she had a verse she wanted me to use since most of this blog post uses her words. I suggested Psalm 139 which says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

She requested, “He’s the potter and we are the clay.” This comes from Isaiah 64:8 (above). I asked why she chose that verse, and Lydia explained, “God made you special so don’t envy others. He has a purpose and plan for you! Don’t compare yourself to others because you will be disappointed. It makes it worse.”

A ten-year-old doesn’t think about original context, but even so, she had a good application! My takeaway is this: Each of us is one-of-a-kind because God Himself is incomparable.

Only in Him do we find our purpose and meaning. He alone brings fulfillment and helps us live for Him. He is our joy and peace, so we can enjoy life without worry!

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God, thanks for making us each unique. You are so kind, generous, and wise! May we remember You have created us for purpose and meaning that can only be found in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is something that makes you unique? How can you bless someone with that trait?

Tasks: Instead of comparing yourself to others, consider why God made you different and how you can use those skills and characteristics to His glory.

On Encouraging Ourselves

Recently, Lydia and I have been watching a cute show on Netflix called, “Old Enough.” It’s about young Japanese children (ages two to around six or seven) going on “first errands” to help their families in some way.

The kids are not truly alone, as the camera crew is following them from a distance. But in most cases, the crew is not supposed to interact with the children. It is quite impressive to watch these adorable kids, but I cannot imagine us doing that in America!

On the show, we’ve watched a little boy take fish to the fishmonger; kids going to buy a few grocery items; prepare hot tea and a snack for the family; bring lunch to dad at work on the boat; or take flowers to grandma. Some have special handmade flags to help people see them cross the road and others just raise their hands high. Sometimes they walk and sometimes they run the whole way. They usually look both ways several times!

Boy, Picnic, Ruck Sack, Child, Walk, Japanese, Asian

Of course, there are often challenges with making decisions or trying something on their own. While errands and places are familiar, the little kids (toddlers, even!) don’t always know what to do. They aren’t sure which bus to ride (solo!!) or which brand to buy. Some of the kids ask for help reaching items or choosing between options, and some use old-fashioned ingenuity. Only a couple of little ones have wandered home sadly before going out to try again. Impressive!

As you can imagine, the child may not feel up to the task. After a little coaxing or a pep talk, they are on their way determined to make their family proud. Occasionally, the episode has two little friends working together. They keep each other on task and in line. Some are shy and some are extraverted, but they all figure it out in the end. They are heartwarming and adorable to watch!

What stands out to me is that all the kids encourage themselves along the way. On their way, they tell themselves all sorts of things such as, “I can do it. I am confident and determined. I’m brave. Let’s go! I am capable. This is fun. I’m smart! I did it! I’m tired, but I can rest at home. Mom will be happy with me!” One little girl even held her hand up to her ear like a phone and pretended to tell her mom how well she was doing!

If you haven’t already seen the show, “Old Enough,” I recommend it! Lydia has a fascination with Japan anyway, so the culture, religion, housing, and eating habits have been good talking points!

  I love how the kids on the show encourage themselves when they are afraid, lonely, or unsure. That’s because even as adults, we don’t always get it right! When we are hungry, afraid, lonely, tired, unsure, or under pressure, we tend to get off track. Our thoughts and emotions can lead us astray, so we assume the worst about ourselves or our situation!

Thankfully, we have a good example in the Bible because King David took a different approach. When he faced hardship, loss, and near-mutiny, he encouraged himself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:6). He strengthened himself, not with his own laurels, but with God’s Word and promises to him.

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with encouraging and motivating yourself. (We can’t always rely on others to do that for us!) But in the end, we can’t forget to trust God and seek His truth in our circumstances. Let’s encourage ourselves based on who God says we are!

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God, thanks for the people of Japan and the joy of children as they do big things. Bless them and show them who You are. Also, help us to encourage ourselves with Your grace and Truth. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: Have you seen any positive, funny, or heartwarming shows lately?

Tasks: Review this throwback blog post and this one, too for some good resources on the same topic!