A Little Bit of This and That

Ah, this week has been pretty chill so far! Work has been busy but good, mostly straightforward and manageable. I’ve had good patients and fun with my coworkers—we had lunch together yesterday while doing some competencies and training.

Lydia is in Washington, D.C. (doing well). It is a good chance for both of us to grow. I’m loving that my evenings are fairly free! As such, I can pursue a little rest and relaxation. 

I thought about taking a little trip of my own, but then some work obligations popped up, and I decided to stay put. I’m glad I did because I am enjoying my time with no real plan, just doing a little bit of this and that! In short, it’s been great!!

Free Human Child photo and picture

As a single mom, I don’t get much time alone or without overt responsibility. On Monday, I made some treats for my coworkers, exercised, worked on some paperwork, and did other random things. Last night, I went on a walk, did some writing (hello!), watched a show, and got lost in some online reading. Tonight, I might do something around town—whatever I feel like!

I am also using this time to connect with God and listen. Time with Him is such a gift. It’s wonderful to wake up early and go at a slower pace, exercising a little, praying, and reading my Bible. It is a bonus that the mornings are getting brighter earlier!

Well, I think I’ll keep this short and sweet. Sometimes, I have a lot to say, but right now, I have some other things calling my name. 🙂 There is a lot of grace in just taking a break. Maybe I’ll meander a bit and see what happens after work. I encourage you to do the same! 

God is always up to something good. We need to spend time with Him to discern how He is leading us. With that, let’s go see what He has in store for us today!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for giving us peace and rest. Thanks for Your abundant grace that covers us. As we walk with You, help us to draw near and listen. Help us grow in wisdom. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: When was the last time you enjoyed a little solitude? Do you get bored and lonely, or do you relish time alone?

Tasks: Set aside some time to spend with God today. It may be a few minutes or several hours. Make it a priority because He longs to meet with you!

Trusting When We Cannot See

This season is full of opportunities to trust God. Often, we have to make a decision when we don’t know the full picture of what He is doing. It seems God asks us to trust Him at a new level every so often (if not daily). Yet, we don’t have to lay aside our questions or logic. Trusting God does not mean ‘blind faith.’ We may not fully see what He is doing, but we can see that He has a good track record!

We can trust everything He does. Even when we can’t quite see the full picture in our own lives, we can trace His faithfulness through Scripture. The main thing is not to get stuck on our questions or logic… in order to trust, we still have to take action!

Free Building Porch photo and picture

When you can’t see God’s hand, trust His heart. — Emily P. Freeman

I came across this quote again recently, and it struck me a little differently than before. Previously, I focused on the word hand in terms of a physical body part. This time, however, I thought of a deck of cards, where hands are dealt. Depending on the game played, we may not see all the cards at once! God does not play games with our hearts, and we can trust His. 

God also doesn’t ask us to trust Him for no reason. He loves us and has the best things in store for us. As we see in Ephesians 2:10 (NIV), “…we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” We just have to walk them out. 

God continually shows me His faithfulness. Yesterday marked two months since my mom finished her race and entered Heaven. It has been difficult, but I am grateful that people are still encouraging us, especially my dad. Thank you!!

Free Door Building photo and picture

Lydia is going on a school trip to Washington, DC, next week, and although it was my idea to send her, I need to trust God for her safety, health, provision, etc. I know she will have a great time and will make many memories as she spreads her wings. Thankfully, she already has experience traveling and being apart from me, thanks to summer camp the last few years.

I am also trusting God with summer plans and some opportunities in the fall. Remember, I am a planner and like to get my ducks in a row! But, sometimes, I just have to wait and have faith. In time, I will know more details. God always provides them on time, though in my humanity, I like to know early! 🙂

This season, I am reminded of how God cares for all His birds. I have woken up to the robins, sparrows, purple house finches, and others singing their songs of praise. I have seen a Northern Flicker grace my yard for a few minutes, too. If they can trust God to provide for them amid the uncertain rain, wind, and various temperatures, then I can too!

While waiting for God, I can worship and keep praying for wisdom and discernment. I can take the first step without worrying about making a mistake. I can rest knowing He will redirect me as needed. I can even “borrow faith” from someone else’s journey until mine strengthens!

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God, thanks for all Your loving care and provision. You are so good to me. Help me trust You more, even in uncertain times. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Where are you in your faith journey? How can you trust God and keep moving forward?

Task: Listen to the song, “Sparrows,” by Cory Asbury. Think about how much God loves you and takes care of you!

Grace and Faith Alone

Today, I am back in Galatians, journibling’ my way through the book! It’s taken me longer than it should, but I am now in the first section of Chapter 3, where the theme is discussing faith in Jesus versus works. There’s something about writing God’s Word slowly and intentionally that makes you notice things more.

I appreciate the bigger picture and see how it ties into daily life. For instance, I have been watching many short videos about Jewish believers in Jesus (Messianic Jews) sharing their testimonies of faith. They are physical descendants of Abraham, but now they share his spiritual inheritance, too. We Gentiles (non-Jews) are also invited and grafted into God’s family through faith in Jesus. Thank You, Lord!

Truly, no amount of works (things we do) can earn us salvation. It is only because of Jesus’ bloody death on the Cross that we can come to God! Our hope is in Jesus Christ alone, by grace alone, through faith alone.

Free Stone Stairs Medieval photo and picture

Recently, I was reminded yet again of the back-and-forth we feel when it comes to faith versus fear. I know I am not alone in this!

A few weeks ago at church, someone announced a special training opportunity. The concept has been on my heart for a while, but I was unsure about the details. I found a friend who knew more and asked her about it, but her answer was not definitive. I put it out of my mind, thinking I would let it pass.

For some time, God has been telling me NOT to put more on my schedule. I’ve said ‘no’ to a lot of things so I can have some flexibility. I thought it was just for Lydia, but perhaps it was for my Mom, too. And maybe now, it is so I can say ‘yes’ to this new thing…

Free Stairs Stages photo and picture

Well, I got a personal invitation yesterday and signed up for the informational meeting. It is not a full commitment, but I hope to learn more and see if it is a good fit. On my way home after work, I prayed about it more. I simply reminded the Lord of what was on my heart, but that it could be more involved than I have the time or capacity for. As I was talking it out, surprisingly, I answered my own doubts with solutions. “But, God, You already know all this. My time is Yours, my life is Yours. If this is from You, You will help me do it.”

I shared this with Lydia when I got home, and she was really proud of me! She told me she wanted me to go through with it and thought she already told me! I don’t recall that, lol! It might just be more confirmation; either way, it feels good to see God moving, and I just want to stay in tune with Him.

Now, instead of being nervous, I am excited! I don’t know how it will turn out, but I will just take the next step. Indeed, living by faith is the only way to live. We cannot do anything on our own, nor were we created to do it all solo. God came up with the plan, Jesus showed us how to do it, and the Holy Spirit empowers us. We aren’t responsible for results, but just showing up and bringing our best. What a relief!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for calling us with purpose! Help us to listen and honor You with everything we do. Give us wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you on the fence about doing something God has called you to do? How can you take the first step?

Task: Read more about writing God’s Word and my other experiences with Journibles in John (here) and Ruth (here).

 

Numbering Our Days

As I read through the Bible again this year, I am learning a lot! There are always new things each time you go through a passage. Once again, I am participating in Read Thru the Word. There are about three ladies who post online lessons for us to review.

I’m about a week behind since I took a break when my mom died. I will catch up soon, as I tend to listen to a couple of lessons in a day (and often get ahead!). Either way, I was struck by the connection between Deuteronomy and Psalm 90.

One of the teachers, Lisa, mentioned that an estimated two million Israelites left Egypt in the Exodus. This may or may not have included women and children. Later, Moses sent twelve spies into Canaan to scout it out and bring back a report. To recap, ten of the twelve spies let fear shape their views, leading to the whole nation wandering in the desert for forty years. Every person over twenty years old, except the two faithful spies, Joshua and Caleb, died before reaching the Promised Land.

Free Desert Sand photo and picture

Mathwise, 2,000,000 people divided by 40 years is an average of 50,000 people dying a year, or around 960 people a week, or about 137 people a day. Now, I have been to three funerals or celebrations of life in the last year. Regardless of the numbers, thinking this would have been the new normal in the desert is mind-blowing. What sorrow!

Interestingly, years later, when the Israelites finally enter Canaan, they spend seven years trying to conquer it. After that, they fulfilled their promise to Joseph (one of the sons of Jacob/Israel) to bury his bones in the historic family plot. Just so we are on the same page, that means they carried his bones around for ~47 years! Sadly, they were more committed to the bones than to God.

In Deuteronomy 29:5, Moses reminds the people that God provided for them the entire time they were in the wilderness. They lacked nothing, and their clothes and sandals did not wear out. God provided water, manna, and quail, too.

Free Desert Rock Formations photo and picture

Also, before he died, Moses also may have written Psalm 90 about this experience. If so, it gives a lot of insight into the ‘wilderness wandering’! Check out verses 3-12 below!

“You turn people back to dust, saying, ‘Return to dust, you mortals.’ A thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—they are like the new grass of the morning: In the morning it springs up new, but by evening it is dry and withered. We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation. You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. If only we knew the power of your anger! Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due. Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

The last phrase, “teach us to number our days,” is pertinent in light of grief. It is important to remember we are just a vapor but God is eternal. All we have is in Him. For those of us who have received God’s forgiveness through Jesus’ sacrifice, we are no longer under His wrath. God is with us and for us.

God has a purpose and plan for us, but we don’t need to rush into anything. In our grief, God will walk with us and sit with us when we need it. We don’t know the actual number of our days, but there is grace in not having to know all the details. Numbering our days works best when we go at His pace and trust Him to lead us. Keep moving forward!

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God, thanks for all the ways You take care of us. Whether we have abundance or are going through the wilderness, You are faithful and true. Heal our hearts and help us trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What are you reading in God’s Word right now?

Task: For different perspectives on how many Israelites may have been rescued out of Egypt, read these two articles from gotquestions.org and The Gospel Coalition.

Finding Grace #473

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Bird American Robin photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week, but it felt rather busy!

We enjoyed having a dear friend visit on Sunday after church and Monday after work! We caught up and ordered Chinese food. It was great to see her!

We had an inch or so of snow, but it is gone again. The grass is still fairly brown and the trees are still bare. But, the songbirds are coming back!

Work kept me on my toes this week. I had several scheduled patients and also had a few unscheduled calls to make, along with some projects and meetings. I’m glad I was productive, and it always feels good to help people. A couple of Veterans even thanked me for what I did for them!

Yesterday after work, I saw The Chosen, Season 5, Episodes 1 & 2 in the movie theater. It was amazing. If you can see it on the bigscreen, do! Otherwise, you’ll be able to catch in Amazon Prime (soon) and later, the free Chosen app.

This week, I had to work through some minor challenges with Lydia. Mainly, she didn’t understand why I said no to an invitation she received. I didn’t have peace about it and needed her to trust me with little explanation. She thanked me later, and I am grateful that God is working in both of our hearts. We had fun hanging out together during that time instead.

Today, we did “Saturday things.” That means some cleaning, general chores, phone calls, and relaxing. I am grateful to have the time available at home! Also, I did see another robin today!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

The Heart of the Matter

The week before she died, Lydia and I visited Mom and Dad in Florida. I’ll be forever grateful to the Lord for those four days together. One day, in a brief moment of reflection, Mom mentioned how each of her kids is like her in certain ways.

Her words felt somewhat like a blessing, so I committed them to memory: Mom looked at me and said, “Livi, is bold and strong, but kind. Patrick, he’s got my sense of humor. Now, Micah is the most like me. Not much gets in his way. But you, you have my heart.”

It is cool to see how my parents’ traits are spread across each of us. We all love learning and are uniquely creative. We all rise to the occasion and use our strengths to help people. Let me explain… I’m the second oldest, but I’ll write about myself last.

To start, the picture above is one of my favorites. It was taken right before Dave and I (right) moved to Fargo in 2010. We were so young, lol! Up top is Patrick, then Olivia, and Micah, next to me.

Olivia is the firstborn and a great leader. Livi always went before us and prepared the way. Even now, she can pull the ‘big sister’ card, and we all fall in line. She also didn’t balk too much when I tagged along. She has always been gracious and patient with me!

Coming in third, Patrick is so funny. He clearly has my mom’s quick wit and way with words. Pat is full of one-liners and movie quotes. Pat is super smart but humble. He can be serious and deep, but we all appreciate his lighthearted joy. 

My youngest brother, Micah, has the best mix of Mom’s fire and Dad’s drive. As a classic strong-willed child, he most certainly required the most discipline—perhaps more than the three of us older kids combined! Yet, this has served him well, as he is very responsible, playful, and a good friend. I love seeing how God has matured Micah over time.

I am perhaps Mom and Dad’s most compliant one on the surface. Cheerful, quiet, and patient, I’m go-with-the-flow… more cerebral, like Dad. However, internally, I can also be equally stubborn and “particular.” I want to do what is right and will stand on principle! As a child, I was fairly emotional, but I learned to hide my feelings at times. Somehow, I thought showing emotions was a weakness, and I did not fully realize the error until years later when God went to war against all my fears.

Through my grief journey, Mom was impressed by my resilience. Our weaknesses can become great strengths if we let God work in our lives. In my case, I dug deep and clung to Jesus as He remade me! During this time, He graciously showed Mom and me some problems in understanding each other. Our differences were getting the best of us.

God challenged us to get to the heart of the matter. Moving past our annoyances and personality quirks, we soon discovered that we shared the same passion for those in need! Our hearts were one regarding compassion and serving others. We might go about doing things differently, but we often arrived at the same conclusions! Isn’t God good?!

Mom was always quick to tell us how proud she was of us. In the same way, make sure you tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them. Spend time together and challenge each other to grow. Focus on the good, and don’t take your time for granted.

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Father God, thanks for all Your blessings. Thanks for challenging us and infusing our weaknesses with Your strength. Give us wisdom and courage as we share Your heart with the World. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you more like your mom or your dad… Or, are you a really good blend of their traits? How do you resolve conflicts with others who are different than you?

Tasks: Listen to this song. Thank God for His blessings and favor!

Finding Grace #472

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a fairly normal week!

On Monday, a friend brought us some dinner. It was sweet of her to make us soup and cookies! When we give her back her dishes, Lydia plans to fill them with some treats in return. 🙂

Our snow is pretty much gone, other than a few small piles from the sidewalks and parking lots. It has been fun to see and hear more songbirds. I even saw my first robin of the Spring. It was on my deck singing one morning. Perhaps it is one-half of the pair that nests under my deck.

I took some lovely walks this week. Mostly inside due to the chilly wind, but one day, a coworker and I walked along a park near the VA. It was so good to be outside!

I got my taxes done this week. I enjoy seeing all God has done in my life and finances over the last year. He is always so faithful to provide for me!

Yesterday, I took the day off to enjoy some time with Lydia for her Spring Break! She had an appointment and then we did a little shopping. Later, Lydia made some cookies while I watched the new show, House of David, on Amazon Prime. It is dark and complex at times, but also beautiful!

Today marks one month since my mom relocated to Heaven. We miss her so much. I decided to buy myself some pretty flowers (above). Otherwise, I was on-call and had to go in for two patients. Then, I caught up around the house and called my aunt. Tonight, I am relaxing while Lydia is going to watch a hockey game with friends!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #471

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Red Finch Bird photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a good week. We zoomed on Sunday, and while we missed my mom’s cheerfulness, it was good to be “together.” Our family text chain is not the same without here either. We chat several times a week, giving updates, prayer requests, jokes, and pictures. But, it does bring us some comfort now, too.

Back in December, I filmed an update on my testimony for church. On Sunday, it aired during the service. I was grateful for the opportunity to do that again, and of course, it was a personal reminder of God’s goodness and the need to keep moving forward. I had several friends reach out after church, and all of them cheered me on.

The weather this week was sunny and reached the 60s (F). Overnight, however, the temperature dropped thirty degrees! The wind was so strong, I thought it would blow over the fence along my property line. I prayed because it had just been replaced (for the third time!). We had a few snow flurries here and there, but it melted quickly. Lydia and I saw a pair of housefinches on the deck and in one of our trees. I’m grateful for God’s goodness!

This week, I talked with two dear friends on the phone. One has known my parents for over fifty years, so knew us from before we were born. The other is the mom of my college BFF. She has always been such an encouragement to me. Both ladies are like family and it was wonderful to catch up! I’m grateful for all their prayers over the years, especially now.

Today, I caught up around the house. I did a little cooking, cleaning, and reorganizing. Lydia helped me for a bit and then hung out with another friend.

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Defiant Joy

My mom loved a good party! With her magnetic personality, she usually became the social director wherever she went, lol. Like her mother, she enjoyed organizing anything from casual events to formal affairs. But mostly, she enjoyed having fun!

Mom spread joy through classy decor, delicious food, and laughter with her sense of humor. She bought colored tablecloths before they were even a thing. Her centerpieces might include candles, colored gems, marbles, balloons, and/or beautiful floral bouquets. She taught us to wrap up silverware and added a little flare with colored curling ribbon. Music typically set the mood, at least for home parties.

Mom knew how to elevate basic, everyday foods. She was known for her spaghetti sauce, beef stew, potato leek soup, barbecue, egg rolls, and chicken salad. Her infamous relish tray with celery, baby carrots, red grapes, sweet pickles, and olives was a standard we still replicate. She would even “doctor up” mundane foods with fresh ingredients, like fruits or vegetables—anything to add color, flavor, and nutrition.

Everyone was welcome at mom’s events. She wanted to include everyone because she saw their inherent God-given value. She had her own opinions and convictions, but she looked past differences to see the individual.

Mom was bold and generous toward others. She loved shopping for good deals, partly, so she could give away what she bought. She had a little stockpile of things at home and was always prepared with a gift. Mom often interacted with total strangers at the grocery store, gas station, airport, bank, etc. She would notice something special about them and mention it. She asked good questions and connected them with resources, if warranted. 

Mom loved a good outfit accessory. She loved jewelry, sunglasses, hats, scarves, and purses. But, she didn’t hold onto anything too tightly. She often gave away personal items as she felt led in the moment. For example, if you told her you liked her necklace or bracelet, chances were she might just give it to you.

For someone who just met her, it would be easy to assume my mom was only surface-level or light-hearted all the time. Nothing could be further from the truth. While Mom attracted people with her bubbly personality, she could go deep.

Free Cookie Cookies photo and picture

Mom’s personal motto was “Never a dull moment.” She faced many personal challenges, losses, and pain, but she learned to trust God’s goodness and provision through the messiness of life. She knew He would continue fighting for her, so she didn’t have to win every battle.

Instead, my mom used her energy and influence to point people to God. Mom knew joy is not based on circumstances, like happiness often is. Joy is based on knowing the contagious, steadfast love of Jesus. Indeed, He was the most joyful person ever!

This week, I came across a funny video of my mom. It was from her last birthday in October, and I loved hearing her joy and laughter. I imagine her experiencing Heaven the same way. Although I am grieving, I don’t want to miss the chance to celebrate God’s goodness. Indeed, I don’t have to have all the answers to trust Jesus and walk in faith.

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Heavenly Father, thanks for the beauty and joy You instill into our daily lives. Show us Your glory! Help us take advantage of the opportunities You give us and draw closer to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How can you live with defiant joy today, however trying your circumstances? What are you grateful for?

Tasks: Join me in carrying on my mom’s legacy of defiant joy. There is always a reason to be grateful and celebrate! Nice weather, all green traffic lights, met a goal, received a compliment, ate delicious food? Buy yourself some flowers or dance around while praising God! Read this fun throwback about my mom’s epic 60th birthday party.

Finding Grace #470

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Trail Winter photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was full of family and friends, which was joyful as we celebrated my mom’s life. But, of course, there was also sadness and grief. 

We spent Sunday and Monday working around my parents’ house and hanging out with loved ones in Florida. We helped my dad by going through my mom’s clothing and accessories. We chose some of my mom’s personal items to keep or share with loved ones. We also made decisions about what to donate. Mom always loved blessing others, so I think she would be pleased.

On Tuesday afternoon, we flew back to Fargo. It was difficult to leave my dad, but his brother, John, stayed behind with him for a few days. Lydia and I had three flights and arrived home around 11:30 p.m. Everything went smoothly, praise God. We went straight to bed so that we could get up early for work and school.

Work went well, though, to be honest, my heart wasn’t really in it. I think it will be a struggle for a little while since convincing people to change food habits pales in comparison to grief and thoughts of eternity. My coworkers have all been so kind to check in and let me talk, as needed. I know from previous experiences with grief that it just takes time to process and move forward. But I also appreciate your prayers!

Often on Friday afternoons, I would call my mom to check in. So, it is sad not to be able to do that anymore. On top of that, yesterday, I went to the grocery store and saw random items Mom would typically buy. I was sad, but when I got home, a card was in the mail and reminded me that God comforts us like a mother does her child. Perfect timing, Lord! A little bit later, I called my aunt. We reminisced together and it was exactly what I needed. God is so good.

Today, I caught up around the house. I made some sourdough bread and some sourdough pancakes. Lydia hung out with a friend, and one of my friends visited me. She listened to me talk about Mom and encouraged me. It was so kind of her!

Don’t forget to turn your clocks one hour forward! Spring is around the corner!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!