Category: Life is Short

Posted on in Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Worship

It’s Good to be Alive!

This past Sunday, I celebrated my birthday! I talked with my family and heard from several other people throughout the day. It was a fun day, which included church, lunch with friends, and chatting with neighbors. I also have a few other special things planned in the next couple weeks. (I like to take full advantage of birthday month!)

Since Lydia was sick on Saturday, I wasn’t sure we’d make it to church on Sunday. Thankfully, she woke up healthy and cheerful, so off to church we went.

For me, birthdays are always a time to reflect on the previous year and respond to new opportunities before me. Worshipping God with other believers on my birthday was extra special. Yet, as I took it all in, I understood that it wasn’t about me. Instead, celebrating God was my focus… I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Him!

During worship, I noticed that several songs mentioned the word “alive.” As we sang, I thought about how God knew the very moment I would be born. He planned each of my days before one of them came to pass. He formed every detail of my body according to the good work He has for me to do (Psalm 139, Ephesians 2:10).

And as I pondered being alive and living for God, something else occurred to me.
No matter who else has been or is currently in my life, it really has always been just me and God. He is the one constant person in my life. (Though my family is a close second!) He is faithful and reliable. He never leaves me nor lets me down.

There is comfort in God’s constancy. I can trust Him, knowing He is for me and not against me. He always has my good in mind (even if I don’t understand it). Regardless of how I feel or think, He always gives me His best!

Often, circumstances look differently than we expected. Life has a way of feeling upside-down about half the time! But, just because life may not make sense, that doesn’t mean God isn’t present working it all out behind the scenes.

Many times, I need a little personal pep-talk to remind me of all that is good in my life. It’s easy to lose hope if I just focus on what I see in front of me. On the other hand, if I keep my eyes on Jesus—and Who He is—I will have peace and joy in the midst of trials. He is above all the chaos, yet is right with me in it.

It is useless to put my hope or trust in anything or anyone other than Jesus! He sees the end from the beginning. He knows the way because He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Jesus is the first and the last and surrounds me like a shield. I am covered in grace!

God’s plans and promises for me will surely come to pass—He always keeps His word. Jesus will never stop loving me. His love never fails!

Life is short, but it is a gift. With Jesus, nothing is impossible. I can expect good things. Praise God, it’s good to be alive!!

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God, thanks for bringing me through another year! Thanks for all You have done for me and with me and through me. I’m excited for all You have in store for me this coming year! All glory to You! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Question: Can you see God’s faithfulness over the last few months or year?

Task: Listen to this song: “Never Been A Moment” by Micah Tyler. Praise God!

Posted on in Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Travel

MN/WI/MI Summer Road Trip 2018

Wow, what a week! We started off last Wednesday afternoon for Superior, WI (next door to Duluth, MN). I left work a little early, which helped make the 5+ hour trip a little better. We made a few rest stops, including Serpant Lake in Crosby, MN. We stayed overnight on Barker Island and enjoyed walking around the marina. We even saw a boat from Fargo!

On Thursday morning, we headed out to see friends in Bayfield, WI, which was on our way. We met Gary and Judy back in 2016 when we went to the Apostle Islands. We had a bite to eat with them, and went searching for fresh local fruit. Before we left we stocked up on blueberries, cherries, raspberries, and apple cider. Yum!

Our time in Bayfield wasn’t long enough [only 2 hours] so we’ll have to get back there again soon! Then, we continued the drive into Michigan… We spent the night in Marquette in the Upper Peninsula (UP). I had never been there before, but loved the gorgeous never-ending trees. We drove through SO. MANY. state and national forests this trip!

Friday was our third day of driving. That afternoon, it was raining lightly as we crossed the iconic Mackinac Bridge, which is 5 miles long! (But just before that I got pulled over by a Michigan State Policeman! He didn’t give me a ticket, though Lydia got a teddy bear!)

Due to rain and timing, we skipped a few activities and opted just to reach our final stop. We finally arrived in Cadillac, MI, for our family reunion just as other family members were showing up. Perfect timing! We saw family members from Illinois, Ohio, Tennessee, Louisiana, New Mexico, Colorado, and Greece. So much fun!

Before our trip, I had wanted to go hiking or kayaking. But when I had the opportunity, I changed my mind. The details just didn’t add up. Nonetheless, I was happy with my choices and thankful for time spent with other family members. It is good to hold our plans loosely so we don’t miss other (better) God-given opportunities!

On Monday, we started back home to Fargo. We crossed the Mackinac bridge again, but this time it was bright and sunny! I am not joking…the water was turquoise. Amazing! I would have taken a few pics of Lake Huron and Lake Michigan, but of course I was driving. 😉 Thankfully, we picked up a couple magnets and postcards along the way…

We also stopped elsewhere for a few pics of Lake Michigan before continuing the nine hour trip to see friends in Minocqua, WI. We arrived in Minocqua around dinnertime to stay with friends I’ve known since I was a teenager. Years ago, Cathie and Randy were my youth group leaders and were eager to have us visit. 

Lydia and I were able to cram in a lot of fun activities in a few short evening hours! Our friends live on the lake, so I was able to kayak after all! Lydia fished off the dock, while I tried stand-up paddle boarding (SUP) for the first time. It was awesome! We also saw bald eagles, went boating and hot tubbing, and sat around a campfire.

The next morning, after a good night’s sleep and delicious breakfast, Lydia went paddle boarding, jet skiing, and tubing with Cathie before we left. She even squeezed in another round of fishing with Randy! Lydia will be talking about this trip for quite awhile!

Our last visit was in Grantsburg, WI. We stopped to see some friends who used to be Fargo neighbors. Elissa and her three boys were swimming at the public pool, so I let Lydia jump in for a quick dip before continuing on our trip. Elissa and I caught up too! It was the perfect break for a long day of driving.

A few takeaways from this trip…

I spent 99% of the trip on back roads with no way around cars ahead of me. I had plenty of time to think of life situations where you just have to ‘follow the leader’ whether you like it or not. Takeaway #1: Life works better when you are cheerful. Perhaps God allows ‘slow cars’ and detours to refine us? You will still get where you need to go, but it sure does help having a good attitude when circumstances are out of your control!

My family helped load up our belongings before heading home. When my sister told me she even tossed my dirty laundry bag in my car, I had to laugh! Takeaway #2: We all have our quirks or negative traits, but a good family overlooks our messes or our ‘dirt.’ In fact, a loving family will help you get through it (or in this case, help keep it all contained)!

On the way home, we stopped for a quick break. Lydia pointed out a coffee cup that said “Super Mom’s Coffee.” She said, “Oooh, Mom! Make sure you get some coffee!” I’m by no means a perfect parent, so Lydia’s comment made me happy that she thinks I am worthy of that title. Takeaway #3: You might feel like you’ve totally blown this parenting gig, but your kids are resilient and forgiving. Do your best and they will be just fine!

Finally, after spending five of the last seven days in the car, we arrived home in Fargo around 9pm last night. 1776 miles with 5 of 7 days driving. Lots of memories. Little sleep. Totally worth it!

Despite plans changing a bit, God directed my path. We had an even better experience than I could have imagined. Special thanks to my friends and neighbors who mowed for me, checked my mail, and watched my house while we were gone!

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God, thanks for a wonderful road trip to see family! Thanks for protecting us and providing so well for us. All glory to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you been through Michigan’s UP before? Do you like road trips?!

Posted on in Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Thankful for Answered Prayers

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been watching the international news—not for all the usual drama—but in regards to the Thai soccer team that was trapped in a cave two miles underground.

Like many people, I prayed for God to hold back the rain, for wisdom on how to save the boys, and for the rescue efforts to succeed. Yesterday, I saw an article which quoted the Thai Navy Seals site, “We are not sure if this is a miracle, or science, or what” that saved the boys.

My first thought after reading that quote was, why not both? God certainly answered my prayers and those of people all around the world…and science was one factor (not to mention the cooperation and bravery of each person on the rescue mission).

I’m not sure I want to go spelunking anytime soon… the total darkness alone would be horrifying. Having no sense of time would be disorienting. Also, the separation from loved ones, decreasing oxygen, and lack of food would be awful to endure

I’m glad a doctor and some Thai Navy Seals stayed in the cave for eight days with the team tending to them and preparing them for the journey out. What a picture of God’s love!

Jesus stays with us, teaches us, tends to our needs, provides for us, and leads us out of the darkness into His glorious light. What a Savior and Friend!

Yesterday, while I was praising God for answering our collective prayers and for rescuing the team and coach, I heard something on the radio that jived with what I was thinking.

Basically, the host mentioned how God works through prayer—and so (in some ways) we are a product of other people praying for us. How cool! The host went on to remind the listeners that each of us is called to pray for others, even if we never meet them in person.

I really enjoy learning about different cultures, which includes different religions. Of note, some of the Thai people involved may know Jesus personally, but many more likely do not. Still, Jesus died to save the Thai people just as much as He died for me.

I’m thankful God’s love extends to each of us , even when we is unaware of Him. He is mighty to save and draws us close with His never-ending grace!

A new friend came to my house to visit this week. We just happened to talk about intercessory prayer. She said that if she has a specific need, she starts praying for others with that same need. As she sees God working in other people’s lives, she notices more blessings and answered prayer in her life, too.

I’m so thankful that we can access God directly through prayer in Jesus’ Name. When we pray using the words of Scripture, we agree with God and pray according to His will.

Our prayers are always heard—even if they are answered differently than we’d like.

Whether through prayer, or science, or BOTH, God graciously saved that soccer team. But the Victory is extra special because people all over the world were united in heart and mind as they prayed. Praise God!

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God, thanks for saving the Thai soccer team and coach. Please bless them and bring them to full recovery. Thank You for rescuing us and leading us to Victory, too! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Did you follow this international news story? What answers to prayer have you seen lately?

Tasks: As you bring your own personal requests to the Lord, start praying for others with the same need. That’s a good place to start! 🙂

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

Keep On Kayaking

On Sunday afternoon, Lydia and I celebrated a fun accomplishment! We went kayaking! For me, it was a dream come true…something I have wanted to do with Lydia for quite some time.

Kayaking was a personal victory on several fronts. First, I simply managed to do it! Paddling on a river is one of my favorite things to do—I love the challenge and find it relaxing. Yet, I haven’t gone out in years.

It can be difficult to try new things or go to new places on my own, let alone with a child! Sometimes, I don’t give myself enough credit… In fact, I had previously talked myself out of canoeing or kayaking this month because it seemed overwhelming to coordinate our schedule with the rental facility hours, weather, the water conditions, etc.

Second, I wasn’t sure Lydia would be able to paddle much, and I didn’t know if I could handle everything on my own. Between paddling and safety, there’s a lot to consider! Besides, even if she could paddle, I thought for sure, she’d want to quit after two minutes…and/or start complaining.

Earlier in the week, I decided to scout out the area beforehand so we knew where to go. It was easy to find and there were several vessels available…check. I picked up a ton of brochures to read…check. Lydia seemed to enjoy it…check.

On Sunday, the forecasted rain looked like it might miss us. Then, I showed Lydia a couple YouTube videos on paddling so she knew the basics. (It was better than nothing, haha!!) And, with a leap of faith, we headed over to Moorhead, MN.

I had very low expectations and mostly just wanted to get Lydia some experience. At the dock, I decided to ask a few questions and let the workers give me feedback on if it was a good idea. If they advised against it, I told Lydia we’d go geocaching along the shore instead.

After explaining my concerns, the workers assured me that we could do it! The water was high and the current was fast due to recent rainfall, so they suggested a kayak instead of a canoe because it is lower to the water level. It would be more manageable in the fast water.

So, we put on our life jackets and got a quick lesson in paddling. Then, I helped carry the tandem kayak to the dock and we were off! We paddled up stream and then, later, coasted back. There were other families and individuals doing the same.

I’m happy to report, Lydia totally proved me wrong! She did so well, and went far beyond my expectations. She never complained, she paddled like a machine, AND she asked if we could go again soon. 🙂

We made it under two bridges and I bet next time we can go to the third! We both had a lot of fun and were proud of ourselves. It was very fulfilling. Win-win!

I’m glad I didn’t let fear stop me from taking Lydia on the water by myself. I now feel confident that we can have many more adventures together! We will definitely keep on kayaking… Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for giving me courage and for protecting me! You fill my life with good things. Please direct my path and help me keep moving forward in faith. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is on your summer bucket list? Is anything holding you back from accomplishing those adventures?

Tasks: Don’t let fear dictate your steps—choose to move forward in faith! Quite likely, you’ll find some blessings and surprises along the way!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Wisdom

The Difference Between Moving On and Moving Forward

Yesterday, we reached a big milestone in our grace journey. It was five years since Dave died…and five years of walking it out step-by-step.

Each moment has been drenched in God’s grace.

Five years ago, it felt like this milestone would never arrive. I had no plan and no clue what to do. (And for a planner, that’s kind of a big deal!) Suffice it to say, we faced a lot of challenges.

Yesterday felt noteworthy—yet at the same time felt just like any other day. The normalcy of it made me even more aware of God’s thorough healing. While it hasn’t been easy, I’m grateful.

I want Lydia to associate this day with goodness—instead of pain or sorrow—and identify the overwhelming Victory we have in Christ. So, each year I’ve given her a small token to mark the occasion.

Needless to say, Lydia was excited about yesterday. She woke up with such anticipation, “This is going to be a great day!” I loved her cheerful attitude; she loved the little cat ring I gave her before school.

So yesterday, we celebrated Dave’s memory and that he is safe and secure… By God’s grace, we are still standing strong! Thank You, Jesus. Every Victory is found in You!

Often, we pray for God to do big things, and then want to tell Him how to accomplish all our ideas. But His ways are bigger than our ways. Our small minds cannot comprehend all the good He has in store for us.

 As He promised in Romans 8:28, God has used this horrible tragedy for my good and His glory…so I can, in turn, help others and bless them. My goal is to then point people back to see God’s goodness in their own lives.

Honestly, I don’t need to understand the “why factor.” I am just grateful that God knows exactly what we need. His grace covers me and I can move forward in Victory.

Victory starts with Jesus at the Cross and His Resurrection but then carries over into everyday life. Each day brings opportunities to live victoriously. We have the choice to stand firm or move forward.

For me, standing firm means NOT running away from all the pain and sorrow—which is the exact opposite of what I sometimes want to do. Standing firm means not giving up even an inch of that holy ground. Moving forward is taking that first step and then another and another.

Some Victories are large and some are small. Some come easy and some are a struggle. Either way, slow and steady progress is still good.

It is strange to think that many of my friends now, never even met Dave… These days, I don’t share as much about him because sometimes the timing or mood isn’t right. Still, I appreciate anyone who will listen when I really need it. Thank you!!

After a big life change, people often get a ‘grace period’ to adjust. Though, after five years, perhaps some people would say it is time to move on. (I get it. Life goes on.) But, there is a difference between moving on and moving forward. And really, you can’t do both!

Moving on implies that we need to cut our losses and forget the past. Just get over it already! Moving on feels like an either/or option. You can either stay stuck or leave everything behind.

Moving forward, on the other hand, acknowledges the pain, grief, loss, or other wound but chooses to see beyond it. It is inclusive of one’s past and current experiences but allows for new options in the future. Moving forward may seem agonizing at first but is worth it in the long-run.

Moving on is the gut reaction—handling it on your own. Keep your head down and work hard to push through the pain. The problem is that approach is not sustainable. It uses up our energy so we have nothing left to give.

Moving forward, then, is the grace response—letting Jesus do the heavy work. Keep your head high—focused on Jesus—honor the past, and be brave. Surprisingly, we find more energy and power because the Holy Spirit covers our weakness and renews us with His strength.

Each person’s journey looks different. There is no one-size-fits-all ‘right’ way to deal with life’s pain and trials. But, for me, the greater Victory is found in moving forward with Jesus. He is faithful and can do far more than we could ever ask or imagine!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for all Your grace and goodness toward us. All glory and praise to You, Lord. Help us continue to move forward in Victory as you bring freedom and wholeness. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Questions: What are your thoughts on standing firm, moving forward, and moving on? Do you feel like you are living in Victory—or still struggling?

Tasks: Praising God is one way to keep moving forward and refocus on Jesus. Listen to this song: “Surrender” (Fight My Battles) by Michael W. Smith

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance

Book Review: When Breath Becomes Air

This week I finished a book that has been in my queue for quite some time. The book, When Breath Becomes Air, was published in 2016, but in all honesty, I wasn’t ready for it back then.

Several friends recommended the book, but I didn’t know if I could handle the intensity at the time. I didn’t want to get sucked into another cycle of grief!

Now, however, I am in a much different place. I decided to listen to the audio version, but I do have a copy of the physical book as well. I highly recommend this book!

The book was written by Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon diagnosed with lung cancer in 2013 at the age of 36. He died in March 2015 just before his 38th birthday, and this book tracks his journey from physician to patient.

The story is quite compelling on its own, but even more so because of our own experience with cancer. I was struck by the similarities between this story and ours.

Mr. Kalanithi was on the verge of reaching his career goals—yet was sidetracked with sickness. Like my late husband, Dave, he did his best at work—regardless of how he felt physically. Both men loved their jobs!

The book also discusses how terminal illness can make a marriage and other relationships stronger. That happened to us too. Mr. Kalanithi sought to secure a good future for his wife, Lucy, and infant daughter, who was born while he was sick. He was always thinking about them.

As his death grew nearer, time seemed to slow down for the author. All of his accolades and accomplishments did not matter. He just wanted to soak up time with his wife, little daughter, and other loved ones.

Mr. Kalanithi was particularly close to his family, and I appreciated the fact that they were so supportive. I, too, am grateful for all the support we have received from family and friends!

For much of the book, it was as if I was hearing Dave tell his side of the story. I found it comforting to perhaps understand a little more about how Dave might’ve felt.

The book was different enough from my experiences that I didn’t have a hard time listening. Yet, the last few chapters were quite compelling because the author’s thoughts, feelings, and physical limitations paralleled what I went through with Dave.

Despite the heartbreak, it was reassuring to hear the same types of questions we dealt with regarding chemo, palliative care, and end of life decisions.

I was encouraged to hear Mr. Kalanithi talk about his faith and hope. He knew the risks and statistics about lung cancer but was never hopeless. He wanted to live his life to the fullest and sought purpose and meaning each day.

Both Mr. Kalanithi and Dave were in their mid-thirties when they were diagnosed and died. Mr. Kalanithi had lung cancer and Dave had colon cancer, but both are not as common in younger people. (Though, that may be changing now.)

Both men had young daughters too little to remember their fathers. Cady Kalanthi was 8 months old when her daddy died; Lydia was 17 months old when Dave died. I’m thankful for the legacies these men left behind.

Neither the author nor my late husband spent much time feeling sorry for themselves. They didn’t complain, but were brave and set an example for others!

If you haven’t already read this book, please consider it! It was helpful to remember that my story is not all that unique. Instead of focusing on all I have lost, I can cherish what I do have: Lydia and precious memories.

Praise God, I also have hope and a good future ahead of me (Jeremiah 29:11)! Yes, Life has turned out differently than expected, but Jesus has been so faithful all these years.

He is so good to us!

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Dear God, thanks for taking such good care of me. Thanks for Your protection and provision through life’s ups and downs. Thank You for your grace! I trust You for a good future. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you read any good books lately? Do prefer physical books or audiobooks or ebooks?

Tasks: Check out this book! Let me know what you think!

Posted on in Being Gracious, Food and Nutrition, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Prayer

Smells, Spills, and Splatters

Yesterday, after school, Lydia and I went to get a few groceries. The store is a well-known company and I generally feel my money is well spent. However, I have noticed that their grocery bags have gotten super thin and flimsy.

When we got home, I unloaded the groceries while Lydia went to play with a friend. Right away, I noticed a leak with the first two bags I carried. I thought it was just condensation from the frozen vegetables. Nope. I put the bags on the kitchen rug and soon realized a glass jar of olives had broken!

So, I had to clean that up after putting the other items away. I also had to wash the rug, knowing if I didn’t it would stay smelly forever. Hmmmm….

Then, I went to the car to clean up more olive juice, before grabbing another round of grocery bags. But the second two bags also had holes in them—which I didn’t notice until a large bottle of balsamic vinegar fell out the bottom and crashed on the garage floor!

Yeah….. I stood there for a few seconds trying to figure out what to clean first. My new dress pants were splattered, my socks and shoes were drenched in vinegar and glass, and the dark puddle quickly expanded in two directions. Under the car and out the garage door.

I like the smell of balsamic vinegar, but a little goes a long way!

I quickly checked the remaining grocery bags and saw that every single bag had holes—some big and some small. Annoyed, I grabbed what I could before heading inside to change clothes.

Thankfully, the weather was the nicest it has been in months! It was in the 40s that day, so I put on a pair of shorts before rinsing my shoes, socks, and pants. (I didn’t want to ruin a pair of long pants!) I put my shoes by the bathroom sink to dry and the other items in the laundry.

Then, I spent the next 45 minutes trying to sweep up glass shards and pour buckets of water all over the garage floor. I used my broom to sweep the vinegar and water towards the drain. It was a real mess!

After I finally came inside, I put on warmer clothes and rinsed off another pair of shoes before making dinner and putting away the rest of the groceries. It was rather chaotic because Lydia also came inside ready to eat.

So, we threw together a few easy items—tacos made from leftover ingredients and veggies. I added some salsa to my tacos and later realized a little salsa had spilled on the counter before dripping onto the floor. Agggh!!

Finally, I cleaned up the dinner mess and washed a few dishes. That’s when I accidentally splashed soap suds onto the counter next to the sink. By this time, I was checking in with the Lord.

“Um, God, is there something you are trying to tell me?” 🙂

Then, I just had to smile because I realized each of these messes were mere inconveniences. They cost me a few dollars in grocery money and more than an hour out of my day. But, no real harm had been done.

Besides, my floors and garage needed some extra cleaning anyway. One area of the kitchen was still slightly sticky from when Lydia spilled her fruit cup (full of juice) the day before. And, the garage had a ton of little rocks and dirt from the crazy winter.

I was glad I turned to the Lord to check in with Him…even if it did take a few mini-disasters first. It was just a good moment to reconnect with Him. I was disappointed about the bags and mess, but I quickly saw my problems were of not big in light of eternity. There are much more important issues at stake, and smells, spills, and splatters were not worth losing my joy or peace.

Often, God uses minor problems to correct us or help us avoid major issues. The key is to connect with Him even before problems come!

Every day, Jesus covers us with His grace, guides us with His wisdom, and helps us navigate through life’s messes. Always ready to help, He cleans us up and sets things right.

From here on, I will be more diligent to use my reusable bags that are always in the back of my car. Lesson learned… It might take awhile for the stench of vinegar to leave my garage, but, I guess spring cleaning is off to a good start!

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God, thanks for keeping me calm today and turning my focus back to You. Thanks for covering me with Your grace. Help me turn to You quickly whether life is going smoothly or not. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How does God get your attention? Do you turn to Him quickly or wait for disaster?

Tasks: At the first sign of trouble, check in with Jesus. Ask for His help and guidance immediately!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Travel, Wisdom, Worship

Trusting God in Transition

Happy Spring!! I hope you are enjoying sunshine and warmth!!

Here in Fargo…it still looks like winter. In fact, we just got another dusting of snow again this week. However, the snow won’t last long. Change is on its way!

I’m thankful that I chose last week to travel to my hometown in Illinois rather than this week. Because the Lord directed our path and timing, we didn’t have to travel on wet or icy roads. Thank You, Jesus!

Soon, my mom and dad won’t have to deal with snow in Florida!

As my parents finish packing and head south, I have been thinking about life in our small community. Local friends are rallying around my mom and dad to show support, share a meal, and send them off.

Clearly, I’m not the only one grateful for their influence and impact. They have quite a legacy of servant leadership, faithfulness, kindness, and generosity!

I’ve also been recalling all of our memories in the home they built. Since I have been in Fargo for several years, distance has created ’emotional space’ regarding the actual house.

But still, it does seem odd not to be able to call it HOME for much longer… 

Nonetheless, I’m proud of my parents for making the transition. They have been talking about it for a long time. And, I’ve also happily acquired some treasured items from their 43 years of marriage (so far). Bonus!

Moving can be difficult as familiarity is left behind….but I know from personal experience how rewarding it can be to jump into the unknown.

Besides, it’s normal to have new challenges now and then. They remind us this world is not our home… Let’s keep moving forward. God has so much more in store!

God promises to be faithful to those who love and follow Him… Jesus is not bound by zipcodes, timezones, weather, the postal service, or any airline. I know He will take care of my parents just as well in Florida! It is a new adventure!

Transitions can be both scary and exciting. The best part is that times of transition can draw us closer to Jesus. But it’s our choice whether to draw near…

We all have times in our lives where our faith is challenged and doubts creep in. But, if we keep our eyes focused on Jesus, we will remain steady. He is our Rock and our sure foundation. Our hope is in Him.

With Jesus, nothing of value is really lost. Most of us prefer safety and comfort over uncertainty, but everything that truly matters is secure in Christ. We find true peace and rest in Jesus. He will never let us down!

So… I take comfort in those wonderful memories of growing up in the country. I appreciate all the time we spent outdoors and as a family. But, I also look forward to creating new memories… at the beach!

God is good and His plans for us are also good!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for Your love and grace. Thanks for protecting and providing so well for us. In times of transition, help us to rest and trust in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you in a time of transition? How can you trust Jesus to help you thrive?

Tasks: Ultimately, this world is not our home… Listen to the song, ‘Home‘ by Chris Tomlin.

Posted on in Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Wisdom, Worship

My All In All

Recently, I ran into a friend that I haven’t seen for several months. As we briefly caught up, he said that if I needed help with things around the house to keep him posted.

He said, “I know you’re pretty self-sufficient, but if you need help with clearing snow, let me know.” It was a kind offer but on the flip-side almost seemed as if he was implying that I could probably take care of it…so perhaps I don’t really need help…

At first, I just laughed and said thanks. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Besides, when it snows, I am outside by 5:30 in the morning if it is a school-and-work day. I don’t have much time to wait—and would not expect someone to come that early!

Still, the idea of self-sufficiency stood out to me. My friend doesn’t know that I have lyrics to the song, ‘Lord, I Need You‘ by Matt Maher next to my bathroom mirror…and the song comes up right away in my google search bar.

Yes, every hour I need the Lord… and with His help, I do what needs to be done.

Growing up, I gained a good work ethic and a variety of skills that serve me well in this stage of life. Perhaps reading all those ‘Wild West’ pioneer stories about women on the frontier helped develop fortitude, too! 😉

There is no need to apologize for being independent…because life can be tough!

But for me, it’s less about self-reliance and more about God’s grace and provision. I know if God leads me to something, He will help me through it. My goal is to do my best for Him.

I know so many people have more difficulties than I do, so I don’t ever want to take my situation for granted. Generally, I try to have a good attitude and not complain…

Honestly, every day has unique challenges. But in most cases, I just grin and bear it…and try to keep moving forward. Those closest to me know I don’t have it all together. 🙂 So it seems that other people probably just don’t see me struggle.

After talking to my friend, I read John 5. Verse 19 caught my attention: “Jesus gave them this answer: ‘Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.'”

The entire passage is good, but for me, this verse was a good gut-check. Am I trying to do too much on my own? Do I seek the Lord’s input as I go about my day? Do I readily ask for His help or struggle unnecessarily?

No matter what, I can always choose to depend on the Lord more! He alone is my sufficiency. Everything I need to be is in Jesus; I cannot be productive or effective without Him. It is vain to attempt anything in my own strength. Trust me, it never goes as smoothly!

Jesus is strong when I am weak. His grace covers me. His love carries me.

He always comes through for me!

I love that God is always working in me, through me, with me, and for me…to bless others and bring Him glory. If I just focus on what God is doing around me and join Him, everything else will take care of itself. I don’t have to do everything, just that ONE thing.

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Father God, how great is Your love! Thanks for the reminder that You are all I need. Your grace is sufficient! Help me remember to come to for help…first thing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you consider yourself to be self-sufficient or independent? What are your best skills? Do you let God use your skills and tailor them for His purposes?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “My All In All” by Phil Wickham. Rely on Jesus!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Prayer, Wisdom

On Feelings and Frostbite

Yesterday (Tuesday), I had the opportunity to speak at a local moms group. By request, I shared my story in light of making end-of-life decisions. My goal was to provide perspective and offer basic information for these moms.

Through a casual conversation, we discussed wills, trusts, life insurance, and more. To be clear, I am not an expert on any of these topics. But I have experienced the how-tos and what-not-to-dos.

I also recommended these ladies consult with an attorney, accountant, and/or a financial planner. I don’t recommend taking a lot of unwarranted risks in these areas!

I really enjoyed speaking with these moms, and afterward, I went to work like usual. But the emotions caught up with me there (unexpectedly), as my coworker and I just-so-happened to discuss similar topics. Gotta love God’s timing!

Occasionally, I still get a little teary-eyed when discussing all we went through with cancer. And lately, I have been reflecting on our journey more anyway…

I know March will be here soon, and I can’t help but think of two important times. First, I recall March 2010 when Dave found his job in Fargo. We moved later that year, which set the stage for other big life changes.

I’ve also been thinking of March 2013 when Dave was so sick and near death (he died in May that year). That was a tumultuous time and we felt desperate.

This flux of emotions tends to cycle through periodically, though as we move toward March, I have felt it more. Perhaps that’s because we are also fast-approaching another milestone: the five year anniversary of Dave’s death.

Yesterday, we also received several inches of snow. That’s not unusual for February, but I still had to blow snow in the dark of morning and shovel twice. For me, snow removal builds character (ha!), but yesterday, I was more reflective.

In the afternoon, I shoveled away the snow and contemplated my sadness. The physical activity was good for me and channeled my emotions into something productive.

I thought it would be a quick job, so didn’t change out of my work clothes. I wore lightweight dress pants and my lightweight gloves. I didn’t wear a hat and my hood kept falling off. I wanted to work quickly so my fingers wouldn’t freeze!

After about twenty minutes, I thought about going inside to warm up. But, I was still praying through my emotions and just wanted to finish. I threw more snow on already-high mounds. It was difficult because it required a lot of effort to corral the snow!

Soon, my fingers weren’t cold anymore—they were numb.

It was only when I came in about fifteen minutes later that I noticed my fingers again. They were bright red and tingled, like other parts of my skin. There was no frostbite, but that’s not unheard of with extreme wind chills like we have in Fargo.

Thankfully, I had gotten through both the snow and the rough emotions.

Praise God, I felt so much better!

As I put away my snow shovel, I thought about how people manage their emotions in a similar manner. Many people try to ‘shovel away’ their sorrows, without actually understanding the pain. It’s like having spiritual or emotional frostbite.

They bury sadness and grief, frustration and remorse, anger and resentment without dealing with them. They don’t allow themselves the time to heal. Some people freeze their feelings, becoming numb and unable to function properly.

For me, the pain can still feel rough at times, though it has gotten much better overall.

Nonetheless, I still allow myself to feel my emotions and pray them through. The feelings don’t last forever, and I know it will be okay…sooner or later.  

Like snow, healing is messy. It can be difficult work to decipher our feelings and keep them contained. Yet, I always learn more about myself in the process. Reaching a new level of healing or self-understanding isn’t always fun…but it is a valuable gift!

Yesterday, I was also reminded of God’s grace and goodness. Only He can bring full healing. And, the more I share my story, the more grateful I become.

God has been so faithful to me. He has provided for me in ways I cannot even explain. Despite my losses, He has never let me down. What Victory!

Yes, when everything feels like it is falling apart, Jesus is there. He is greater than my pain or problems, and He loves me through each trial. He protects me and allows me to be myself—feelings and all. By His grace, He holds me together!

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Dear God, thank You so much for your grace and goodness. Thanks for taking such great care of me. Please direct my path and guide me on this journey. Thanks that I don’t have to get stuck emotionally. I choose to move forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you experienced any signs of spiritual or emotional frostbite? Will you let Jesus handle it?

Tasks: Listen to ‘King of My Heart’ by Kutless and ‘I Will Call Upon the Lord’ by Elevation Worship. Write down your feelings and experiences in a journal. Trust in Jesus!