Looking Back and Moving Forward

Welcome to 2020!! Wow, that has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?!

Recently on social media, people were having a ‘decade challenge’ where they posted a picture of themselves in 2009 and 2019. It was cool to see how many people have stayed the same and/or changed.

I didn’t post any pictures, in part because I couldn’t find any pictures of me from 2009 without a lot of effort. Hey, it’s been ten years! 😉

Nonetheless, I have certainly been thinking about all that has happened in the last decade. After all, hindsight is 20/20. 😉 It is important to remember all the things we’ve been through. Not because we should stay there, but so we can learn and grow past them.

Here is a brief recap of my last decade. I’m looking back while still moving forward. Also, I did find a picture of me with Dave right before we moved to North Dakota in early 2010. Close enough! 🙂

2009: Dave and I celebrated one year of marriage. We also went through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. The wise principles we learned through this course put us on the same page in our marriage by giving us common goals and helping us communicate better. Only God could know what was coming next, and I’m extremely grateful for the impact that course had on both our finances and our marriage.

2010: With my support, Dave decided to apply for a job in West Fargo, North Dakota, with Caterpillar. He was hired almost immediately, and that set the stage for the biggest challenges of our lives. We felt God was calling us to a big adventure, though had we known what that entailed, perhaps we would have stayed put. Still, we moved twelve hours away from our family and friends and soon settled into our brand new home and community. Dave had so much fun using his snowblower to clear several feet of snow that year!

2011: The highlights here include meeting many new neighbors and friends at church. However, it was difficult to be far from family, and we had to miss several fun events. Later that year, Dave and I celebrated Lydia Ruth’s arrival. She was named after my grandmother, who died the year before. I will never forget the pure joy on Dave’s face when Lydia was born. He was so very proud to be her Daddy!

2012: One afternoon in early May 2012, Dave came home from work early and stayed in bed for a week. He felt sick and had no energy. I could hear his stomach making sounds from over ten feet away. On Mother’s Day, I took him to the ER and he was admitted. We soon found out he had Stage IV colon cancer. Lydia was not quite six months old. We spent the rest of the year going through chemo and two major surgeries. Through this, God used cancer to expose my deepest fears and challenge my faith. It was grueling, as you can imagine, but Dave’s positive attitude will always stand out in my mind.

2013: A very difficult year. Dave continued to decline and was in the hospital more than he was at home. He had a third major surgery in April. My faith was in crisis mode. At first, he rebounded, thanks to the amazing support of our loving family and friends. But on May 15th, 2013, Dave died at the age of 34 and my life as a widowed single mom began. I was 30 years old. Even in the midst of shock and immense heartache, I knew I needed to give myself time to properly grieve. By this point, all I could do was cling to Jesus. Whereas cancer rocked my faith, grief is where my faith was remade. I’m grateful God caught me and held me through it all.

2014: Dave and I had previously tried to dedicate Lydia at church, but each time, he had been too sick. So, in May 2014 (around the one-year anniversary of his death), I decided to do it on my own. For me, it was a huge step forward because it was scary to stand in front of everyone as a single mom. But, in terms of faith, it felt like I needed to draw a line in the sand and make a stand. For me, it was a Joshua 24:15 moment: “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

2015: I continued to work through various aspects of grief. (That could be said about every year since!) In May 2015, I decided to start blogging to mark our path of moving forward and finding God’s grace along the way. For months, I worked behind the scenes to learn the system and prepare. It took me a little while to find the courage to ‘put myself out there,’ but I finally went live in August. I’m so glad I did!

2016: Lydia began preschool in the fall. I wasn’t sure of where to send her, but God lead me to just the right place. Lydia’s teachers really connected well with her, and it was fun to see how she grew that year. Also, Lydia felt comfortable to start talking more about Dave to her teachers and little friends. I was concerned about this at first, but her teachers wisely and graciously helped us through that. They gave Lydia all the time, space, and resources to explain herself and come to terms with the loss in her own little way. I’m forever grateful and we have continued to roll with it as best we can.

2017: A year of transition. The company I worked for was bought out by a larger healthcare organization. My job was merged into the new system. It was scary, but I am glad I stuck it out. During this time, I also had a friend stay with us for six months while she got back on her feet. It was a fun time and our friendship grew stronger. That fall, Lydia started Kindergarten. It felt like a huge milestone!

2018: My parents moved to Florida in the spring. It was a little sad for me, but I am happy they have adjusted so well! We went to visit them during Lydia’s birthday and had a great time. Among other fun adventures, Lydia also started first grade. Our most stable year!

2019: Yet another transitional year. In February, I contacted a dietitian friend and talked with her about something related to Dave. Then, summer came and she contacted me about a new job! I had prayerfully felt something new was coming, and I am so glad I decided to apply. I have been there since August and it has been a huge blessing to me. There have been challenges in terms of daycare and other adjustments, but I am really grateful for the opportunity.

So what’s next? Well, only God knows. 🙂 But as I look back over the years, I see one transition after another. Yes, growth means changing through the ups and downs.

A good attitude always helps as we trust God to turn each problem into something good. I am looking forward to seeing His faithfulness as we continue on this great adventure.

“You’ve been so, so good to me. You’ve been so, so good to me. Oh, to think where I would be, if not for You, if not for You.” —Remembrance by Hillsong Worship

Despite my many challenges over the last ten years, God has never left me on my own. Each step of the way, He has helped me. I didn’t always understand how He was working, but I can see it now. And, I am grateful for His grace and goodness toward me.

I don’t know what your last decade entailed, but I hope you can see how God came through for you. He has not forgotten you. He fights for you and loves you very much!

Our Victory is in Jesus!

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God, be praised! We cannot thank You enough for all You have done for us. As we look back and see Your faithfulness, please build our trust. Give us the courage to keep moving forward, knowing You will lead us and catch us when we fall. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What challenges and victories have you faced over the last year…or ten? Can you see God’s hand in your circumstances, working them out for good?

Tasks: Write down the challenges you faced and the coinciding victories. Then, give God praise. If you haven’t seen anything good just yet, hang on! It’s coming!

Finding Grace #198

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a really fun week, though there were a few tough moments! God came through for me with an extra dose of grace! I also really appreciated everyone’s support for Dave’s birthday.  Thank you!

This week, we had several fun holiday activities at work. We worked hard, but also wore ugly Christmas sweaters, exchanged Secret Santa gifts, took pictures, laughed and told stories, and ate some yummy meals and treats together. I’m grateful for a good job and wonderful coworkers who are becoming friends!

Lydia and I also hosted a white elephant exchange for my Thursday night small group friends. I unwrapped a 2012 giant phone book from Knoxville, Tennessee! I happened to give away an expired container of prunes, so I got even, lol! It was a fun time all around!

Today Lydia and I had fun relaxing around the house! We enjoyed playing new games, watching movies, baking treats, and finding Christmas gifts on the porch from loved ones. Lydia has had fun rearranging the boxes under the tree for Wednesday!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

A Tale of Two Birthdays

Well, here we are in the swing of the holiday season!

Yesterday was Dave’s birthday. Of course, it comes every year, but yesterday felt different. I intentionally put off thinking about it all until later in the day because I was trying to keep it together and get things done. Still, I’ve been thinking of him quite a bit lately.

It’s interesting to think about how things would be different if Dave was here…

This particular week is very busy trying to squeeze in a trillion activities before Christmas. Some of the stress is normal and would be the same even if Dave was here. Work and school, making meals, washing dishes, Christmas parties, shopping lines, etc.

But yesterday, I caught myself being frustrated by all the stressors that result from Dave being gone. Several things are more difficult now. Many things take longer to complete or just don’t get done. As a single mom and homeowner, all the responsibility falls on me.

Most of the time, I just deal with it. But yesterday, it took more effort. Missing Dave was one component, yes. But after work, school and Lydia’s orthodontist appointment, several random chaotic things happened all at once. It didn’t help that we were also sad, cold, overwhelmed, frustrated, tired, and hangry. It was the perfect storm.

Yesterday was a little rough at times. But, I noticed my mindset wasn’t particularly helpful and I didn’t want to linger there for long, though that would have been easier.

Thankfully, God showed up in the many people around us. Several people sent texts or called to chat. Last night, our neighbors dropped off a delicious box of goodies with perfect timing. And for dinner, a dear friend came over with pizza and cupcakes.

Last night, I reminded myself of all I have to be thankful for… Dave was a wonderful man and now I have Lydia! Then, a few Caterpillar guys checked in and sent thoughtful messages. We also received a number of beautiful Christmas cards reminding me of all the people cheering us on from near and far. I’m grateful for your prayers and support.

And, I reminded myself of how far God has brought me. That’s the beauty in all of this. Despite my (sometimes) heartache and frustration, Jesus is here with me.

Yesterday, Dave’s birthday was a little sad because it reminds me of all we have lost, but we look forward to celebrating Jesus’ birthday, too. We rejoice that Jesus’ birth brought us hope and redemption. A solution to the world’s collective heartbreak.

Emmanuel means ‘God with us’ and when Jesus steps into a situation, He will help us get through it. He brings peace and joy, grace and power, as well as hope and healing. But we have to invite Him in. Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

When all is well or when (I feel) nothing is going right… Emmanuel.

When problems arise and nothing gets solved… Emmanuel.

When I don’t measure up despite giving my best effort… Emmanuel.

There is power in the Name of Jesus and peace in His Presence. He is our Emmanuel. So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I’m seeing my pain as a reminder to draw closer to Jesus. I’m trusting in God’s grace and focusing on His goodness. Thank You, Jesus!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for sending Your son, Jesus, to be our Emmanuel. Thanks for never leaving us nor forsaking us. You deserve all our praise. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Is there someone who needs a little encouragement or support during this season? How can you bring them comfort and point them to Jesus?

Tasks: Ask a grieving friend to come over for the holidays. Or, see if you can help them finish their shopping or baking or other preparations. Sometimes just being present is all they need to remember Jesus is with them, too.

Finding Grace #195

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a full week, yet we were also able to relax. Work went well and was fairly busy, but then it was time to play! Balance, right?!

On Thursday, we invited a friend over for Thanksgiving. She is from Ghana, so her family is also far away. We made and ate yummy food, then caught up and shared about our blessings. We played with Lydia’s new coding robot and played other games, too.

Later in the evening, we all watched ‘Home Alone’ and put up our Christmas tree! This movie is a classic and always reminds me of my family. We saw the movie when it first came to the theater (in 1990) with my grandparents. Regarding my extended family, the more of us there are, the louder we get. When we all get together, it gets rather chaotic. But, we all love each other and support each other despite our differences. We always have fun playing ‘reindeer games’ and catching up!

Lydia and I both have enjoyed this long weekend. It has been so good to sleep in and go at a slower pace. Lydia and I have played board games and watched more movies, like ‘Elf’ and ‘Little Women.’ This weekend was just what I needed! Thank You, Jesus!

Today, we stayed in to relax and wait out a winter storm. The snow is quite pretty, and I am grateful to have help with snow removal. It was a good decision to hire someone for the season. I’ll still need to clear some snow (where they can’t get super close to the house), but it will require less of my time and physical effort. I’m grateful!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Forever Grateful

Lydia came home yesterday from school and told me about her day. She said one of the best parts of her day was in gym class. She told me about an obstacle course the students completed in the spirit of celebrating Veterans Day.

There was no school on Monday due to the holiday, so her class celebrated later. Each student pretended to be a soldier and had to climb, jump, crawl, swing, etc. through a series of challenges. At home, Lydia happily showed me examples in our basement work out area. She told me I had to use my imagination, of course!

We briefly discussed how difficult it must be to be a real-life soldier… and how we can honor them and be grateful for them. It was interesting to hear Lydia’s perspective.

Now that I work with Veterans (and only Veterans), I am more in tune with the struggles they face. I will never fully understand those issues, but I appreciate their many sacrifices on my behalf. Without Veterans and an active military, who knows how our lives could be?

It is quite humbling when you think about it.

The best way to show our gratitude is to live in such a way as to honor these brave men and women. As we celebrate our many freedoms, that may look different for each of us.

In short, we can each spend our time, money, and other resources in unique ways.

That’s part of the beauty of being free! We have the ability to choose.

All gave some. Some gave all.

Of course, Jesus Christ also gave His all for us. It cost him everything. He gave us the ultimate freedom from sin and the gift of eternal life with Him.

I’m forever grateful. Our lives are (and can be) changed because Jesus gave His. 

Because of Jesus, we are free from fear. What a relief! We don’t have to be afraid!

Also, we are free to be kind and generous toward others, even if they cannot repay us. We can have daily peace and joy regardless of our circumstances. We can do what is right without worrying about what other people think.

The list goes on and on.

Again, how we use our various freedoms will surely look different depending on many factors. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Just walk in grace and freedom… and be grateful.

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Jesus, thanks for dying for us and buying us freedom! Help us walk freely in Your grace and love. Help us take nothing You’ve given us for granted. Help us be wise! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What American freedoms are you most thankful for? How do you show your gratitude to all those who have fought for our freedom?

Tasks: Write a thank you note to a Veteran or active soldier and listen to his or her experiences (if they are willing to share). Visit a National Cemetery to honor sacrifices made on your behalf. In Fargo, check out the newly dedicated Fargo National Cemetery!

 

Finding Grace #192

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was full of ups and downs, along with the fullness of God’s grace!

On Monday morning, I received a disappointing ‘confirmation’ that something I had hoped for wasn’t going in my favor. It will be alright and, though it may be difficult currently, it is actually a good thing in the long run. I prayed about it and am trusting God. Ironically, as soon as this happened, a friend texted me and asked if we could have dinner together. It was a well-timed visit and I was glad for the company. We briefly discussed my issue while we caught up and encouraged each other! It was refreshing.

On Tuesday evening, I received some more discouraging news. It is unrelated to the other issue, but again, I was praying for a different outcome. Once again, I was upset and God provided another friend to encourage me. We had dinner and caught up, too. I really appreciate friends who help me see God’s goodness and grace! Encountering resistance helps us lean on God and remember we don’t have to worry because He is in control!

On Thursday, more friends came over for Bible study. We had a good conversation and I shared my updates with them. One friend made a good point, that it was good to know this information sooner rather than later so I can readjust my plans. I agreed that God’s timing is perfect. And, I am no worse off than before… I just have a clearer path to follow now.

Work went well this week! I transitioned to my part-time schedule (my actual job). I previously was working full-time while someone was on maternity leave. I am grateful for both opportunities (working more or less), and it feels good to have work-life balance. I even picked Lydia up early from daycare early!

Today, we are celebrating Lydia’s November birthday early! Because she was born close to Thanksgiving, getting friends together for a party can be tricky. So, we decided to do it this weekend instead. Lydia decided to take a friend to paint pottery at a local shop. Then, we had pizza and brownies. So far, the girls are having a fun sleepover and have painted fingernails, watched a show, and are singing while playing several games. 🙂

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #191

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week flew by in a blur!

On Sunday, we video chatted with a relative we haven’t seen since Lydia was little. This person lives far away and the relationship just hasn’t been the same since Dave died in 2013. It was really special for Lydia to say hello since she does not remember anything from so long ago. I hope we can continue connecting or possibly even going for a visit in the future. Life is too short to not reach out to loved ones.

On Tuesday, a good friend came over for dinner. She brought tacos and we were able to catch up. We also watched a Hallmark show together. 😉 I was thankful!

Thursday was Halloween! We had a costume party and holiday food at work! It was a fun experience! Later that night, we went to another family’s house for dinner and trick-or-treating. Lydia dressed up as a pirate! Oddly, this was my first Halloween not passing out candy. I accidentally left on my lights when we left and probably disappointed several people who knocked on my door. It was a big neighbor-fail, haha! Thankfully, I texted my neighbors to let them know and they were gracious to understand. 🙂

Today has been another beautiful day. Lydia played outside with friends, and I caught up with dishes, laundry, and other household chores! It does feel good to have a clean house! 

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Coffee with Jesus

Like many people, I enjoy a quality cup of coffee. A morning cup holds the potential of the day. I love reading a good book while savoring a quiet cuppa joe. Somehow, coffee grounds me in the present moment yet sets the stage for what is to come.

I am not a coffee connoisseur, but I do know what I like. I’ll drink coffee black or with a little bit of milk. I generally prefer dark roasts and slightly nutty flavors, but really, I’m open to trying new things!

I like the taste of coffee and enjoy camaraderie with other coffee drinkers. Most of all, I like the sense of calm and warmth I feel when holding one of my favorite mugs and taking a sip.

I also enjoy having ‘coffee dates’ with friends. I always look forward to spending time together, either at a coffee shop or at home. I’m excited that I have a few coffee dates penciled on my calendar in the coming weeks!

Recently, I started thinking about my time with the Lord in the same way I do coffee dates. I noticed some key similarities and differences…

First, I would never meet a friend for coffee and immediately present a long list of needs and wants. I would never expect someone to drop everything to do what I asked. I would also eliminate as many distractions as possible (including my phone).

But do I come to the Lord in that way?

I would start my time with friends by catching up with them. I’d ask questions about what they have been up to, what has happened since the last time we talked. I’d ask for and give updates on life, what God is doing around me. We need a two-way conversation.

Is my conversation with Jesus similar? Does it go both ways? Do I ask for His input?

I’d also see if I could help my friend or pray for them. I’d try to encourage them and see what really matters to them. And they would do the same for me. It always draws us closer.

Do I listen to God’s heart in the same way? Do I read His Word (the Bible) with intention? Is there a special task He is asking me to do?

Finally, I would never treat my time with friends like something to be rushed through or something to check off my to-do list. Similarly… do I rush my time with the Lord, or do I take time to go ‘deep’ with Him?

Coffee dates are some of my favorite things to do. It is a fun time to catch up and encourage others. It is a time to slow down, ‘reset’ and reflect on God’s goodness.

Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, or water with lemon… it doesn’t matter what you drink. Nor does it matter what time of day it is or what you wear.

Quality time with Jesus sets the stage for the rest of the day. So prioritize this time with Him, and just come as you are. Come expectantly and stay present. He loves being with you!

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Dear God, thanks for loving me so much. Help me value my time with You, even more than I do time with others. Help me listen with intent and seek Your heart. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you enjoy coffee with Jesus? How did this blog post impact you today?

Tasks: Consider how you approach meeting with God. Make any necessary changes!

The First Step

If you ask any parent, having an obedient child is a blessing. Training kids to listen and follow-through is an ideal goal, but so hard to do consistently. Obviously, life definitely goes more smoothly when children do what they are asked. Yes, I’m speaking from experience. 😉

As Christ-followers, God expects us to be obedient, too. In fact, Jesus said being obedient (doing what He says) is a mark of our love for Him. It seems obvious, yet, like dearly loved children, we often struggle, too.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote, “A whole lot of what we call ‘struggling’ is simply delayed obedience.” How true!

Thankfully, even one small step of obedience can pave the way for growth. The first step, taken in faith, can create even more opportunities to trust God.

Recently, I took a small step of obedience which really felt like a long shot. I had been praying for some answers regarding a friend who had been ignoring me. I wondered if I should ask this person over for dinner, but was feeling hurt and fearing rejection.

I had several other tasks to do that night, and dinner with this friend wasn’t the most ‘convenient’ option. But, I put aside my feelings and to-do list. I extended the invitation anyway, leaving the outcome in God’s hands.

I made one of my friend’s favorite meals, hoping that would entice her to come. It worked!

God honored my simple act of obedience, and the tasty food made way for meaningful conversation. As a result, our lines of communication were restored and we grew closer. 🙂

I love that God used my obedience to mend our friendship and teach us both valuable lessons. My first step in the right direction helped my friend take her own steps of obedience. Then, we each gained more opportunities to serve others and trust God.

I don’t know where you are in your relationship with God, but I know He is calling you to be obedient today. If you aren’t sure what that means, go back to the last time you remember a specific direction from God. It may be a specific Bible verse that spoke to you, a gut feeling, or simply seeing someone in need.

It may not be convenient, but it’s always the best idea. God rewards obedience and will honor your efforts. He will help you follow-through! 

Simple examples may include: Putting aside your own feelings to serve someone else. Or, taking a big step forward even if you’re afraid. Or, letting someone else take the lead on a project, even if you don’t fully agree.

Needless to say, always look for ways to be kind, gracious, and forgiving toward others. You don’t have to figure it all out. Just take the first step!

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God, thanks for being so patient with us. Thanks for Your grace, kindness, and forgiveness. Help us listen to you and obey Your word. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is God asking you to do? Are you doing it? Why or why not?

Tasks: Read this throwback post, one of my first posts from 2015:  Put on Your Pants!

 

Finding Grace #186

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was an exciting week!

Work was very busy at times, but also very fulfilling. I am having fun and still learning so much. I feel like I am growing and right where I need to be. Thank You, Jesus!

On Tuesday, a friend volunteered to mow for me. I really have appreciated the help lately, especially because of my current work schedule. It has taken some of the pressure off me to get everything done as Lydia and I ease into this new season! Thank you!

I had several well-timed conversations with people this week. I often have big decisions, deadlines, and questions along the way.  God directed my path and I literally ran into some key people who helped provide valuable input for my current tasks.

God has continually answered big prayers in the last year or so. I saw Him move in more ways this week and am so grateful. He is soooo good to me!

Today, I caught up around the house and prepared for the next week. I paid some bills, cleaned a little, and finished seasonal tasks outside. I put away the deck furniture, organized the garage, and even put up the outdoor Christmas lights. It was good to take advantage of the beautiful weather while it lasts!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!