Category: Fear/Don’t Fake Brave

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Wisdom, Worship

Keep It Simple, Sweetheart

This Christmas season, like many people, I am trying to stay on top of my to-do list. At times, it is a little overwhelming, and yes, I could use more sleep! 🙂

But all things considered, this year feels different.

Instead of my heart feeling heavy with grief, I’m excited and coping well. Praise God!

Perhaps all those years of intense grief have been helpful after all because I have learned the art of doing less.

This year, I’ve been doing more of what makes me glad. With so many possibilities, I’ve decided to simplify.

When possible, I’ve opted out of stressful activities that don’t add to the holiday spirit. At the same time, I’ve tried new things, such as putting up outdoor Christmas lights!

Lydia and I have been enjoying Christmas music and holiday movies, decorating our tree, and sampling yummy treats! She has played in the mounds of snow with her friends, while I’ve enjoyed coffee dates with mine.

I’ve also opened my house to a handful of people who don’t have family nearby.

We have a list of fun winter activities that we would like to do, such as sledding and seeing holiday lights. As usual, Lydia’s excitement is contagious!

Thankfully, I’ve learned to appreciate rest and don’t have crazy expectations. I know my limitations and try not to overextend myself. I’m grateful for how far God has brought me and Lydia!

With all the hustle and bustle, it could be easy to forget Jesus, the reason we are celebrating in the first place! By staying present with Him, I can enjoy the true gift He is:

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace

Friend, if you are going through a tough season of grief, let me remind you of the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart. 🙂 There is no need to “fake brave.”

Grief looks different for all of us, and each year brings unique challenges. It does improve eventually, but all those emotions need to run their course so you can keep moving forward.

For now, do what you need to do—no more and no less. Whether that means showing up or staying home, ask God to direct your path and show you His goodness.

Look for the gift of God’s grace…. Jesus!! He is a wonderful savior and friend.

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Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus. What a precious gift! Be with those who are hurting this season. Show them just how much you love them and bring them peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: What are your favorite Christmas traditions?

Tasks: Do something special for someone who needs encouragement this season. Pray with them, invite them over for dinner, help them decorate (or clean!), or listen to them talk of their loved one. Even a small act of kindness can mean so much to someone who is hurting.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom

Choose Joy

I have previously written about a choice we have to make between fear and faith. Choosing faith is about consistently trusting Jesus and not giving in to fear. If it were easy, everyone would do it! 🙂

Another choice we can make is between joy and misery. I don’t always remember that I have a choice in how I feel…but I do have a choice. I can’t control the outcome or situation, but I can control how I react…

So lately, I have been being more proactive—planning ahead of time what my ‘reaction’ will be in a given situation. I think about my day in terms of all the choices and activities I face.

I choose between getting up early or sleeping in. I also choose my attitude each morning when getting myself and Lydia ready for the day. I consider all the people I will see and influence through conversations. I even think about what I’m going to have for lunch or dinner, and the fact that I need to go to the store at some point.

Not all of these will go as I imagine, and that’s to be expected. Quite often, life seems upside down. There will be some surprises!

But instead of making my emotions the center, I focus my heart on Jesus. This helps me not attach my faith to the outcome…but to Jesus alone.

He is the one who determines my steps.

Ultimately, my ‘success’ is not measured by the world’s standards. It comes down to if I am obedient to God, to follow His instructions. And that takes work…effort.

As such, I aim to go to sleep at a certain time. I tell Lydia how much I love her. I choose to pray for my patients before I get to work. I do my best with what I have.

Yet, there is one more way I can prepare myself for success: I can choose joy ahead of time. Or, at the very least I can choose not to be miserable, by having a good attitude and not complaining!! There is joy in serving the Lord!

Happiness is linked to whether our environment is pleasing to us. Happiness, while certainly good, is based on emotions. It is subject to change based on what happens.

Cue the emotional roller coaster…when times get tough!

Joy is more internal, not dependent on outward circumstances, which can change quite rapidly. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and is from God. It’s not optimism or positivity, as nice as those are. Joy comes when God fortifies us with His strength.

Joy shines most brightly in the midst of trials. Choosing joy comes with trusting God and stepping forward in faith. Joy is invaluable. It’s not always easy, but choosing faith, joy, and Jesus is always worth it!

Neither faith nor joy is easy all the time. If they were, we wouldn’t struggle—and we wouldn’t need Jesus. There will be tough days ahead…guaranteed.

But by God’s grace, we have made it through every other tough day so far. And praise God, we can keep moving forward in joy and faith…even if we don’t feel like it!

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God, thank You for being with us in each trial. Thanks for leading us and preparing the way. Help us not get stuck in our emotions, but move forward with wisdom, courage, faith, joy, and grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you consider yourself ‘joyful’? Why or why not?

Tasks: Listen to “Joy” by For King and Country. Make sure you turn it up and dance!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Finding Grace Weekly Recap, Miscellaneous

Finding Grace #133

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a good week, full of fun events. On Sunday, a pastor I know from Illinois visited; he knows my parents too. He gave me a shout out from the pulpit. It was fun to connect with him after the service. It’s a small world!

On Tuesday, I left work late and missed picking up Lydia from the bus. I texted my neighbor, Melissa, who was able to take Lydia home. When I arrived a few minutes later, she asked if Lydia could stay and play. During that time, I was able to complete a few chores and my Wednesday blog post. Then, she fed us both dinner and dessert! I’m grateful for Melissa’s generosity and God’s provision! Thank you! 🙂

Lydia worked really hard, read and studied all her JBQ questions. She was able to answer all the questions correctly and moved on to the next booklet. I enjoyed leading her group and am impressed by how many kids are memorizing God’s word. What a blessing!

I had my “Facing Fear, Finding Faith” Bible study on Thursday. I’m really grateful for the opportunity to lead the group. Going through this with others helps me, too. I’m glad we don’t have to be afraid!

Today, Lydia and I went with our friend, Sara, to a local ‘junk market’ at the fairgrounds, which as you may guess has antiques, upcycled items, jewelry, specialty foods, as well as new house decor. All afternoon, we had so much fun perusing the market! It’s a fun tradition! I bought a few fun magnets for my refrigerator and a couple of pictures.

We’ve had beautiful weather this week, but, it is starting to get cooler. I’ve noticed fewer Monarch butterflies day-by-day…and the Canada geese also are starting to head south. The trees are also starting to change colors. The autumn is a short season, but it is so lovely! 🙂

Where did you find God’s grace?

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Personality

Moving Past Fear, Anxiety, and Worry

Last week, I started a small group Bible study for ladies, called Facing Fear, Finding Faith. We use a workbook and Scripture to discuss Biblical coping methods for facing fear, anxiety, and worry. It takes what we know from clinical psychology and combines it with God’s word. A powerful double whammy!

I am the facilitator for my group, which meets at my house, but we all have opportunities to share ideas with each other. I am looking forward to growing with these ladies!

For the purposes of our study, fear, anxiety, and worry are treated the same. But, the definitions provided in the workbook are listed separately. (source, page 2)

Fear: The cause of the threat is known, and is based in reality.

Anxiety: The threat is unknown. Because the individual cannot pinpoint the source of threat, an overall uneasy feeling of dread results.

Worry: The threat may be known or unknown. The individual is consumed with a nagging, excessive concern.

As I prepared to lead the group, I spent a lot of my time considering how each of these has impacted me. To my surprise, what I generally have always categorized as generalized fear, could actually be anxiety or worry.

Additionally, not all fears are negative. Some fears are healthy and keep us safe. There is a rational component, such as not touching a hot stove because you’d get burned. In this case, fear seems fairly relatable. Anyone could be afraid of a known threat based in reality.

The workbook, however, is more focused on the overwhelming and unhelpful side of fear. The problem occurs when fear stops you from being bold and living a full life.

Taking my hot stove example to the extreme, you might never cook anything at all or avoid the entire kitchen for fear of a hot stove. Then, it becomes irrational or life-controlling.

Surprisingly, I relate more to anxiety than I previously would have guessed. At times, I can get kind of jittery inside, yet it takes me a while to understand what is causing me to be agitated. Just even pausing and becoming more aware has helped!

For me, worry boils down to focusing on something so much I neglect other thoughts or tasks. I can get so stuck in my head sometimes! 🙂

So why am I explaining this to you?

Well, for one thing, week one of this study was eye-opening to me because I thought I just struggled with fear—but didn’t understand the role anxiety and worry played.

I already feel a million times more at peace, just by distinguishing the different factors at work. I’m excited as I prepare for week two!

Plus, by identifying the problem, I can quickly take it to Jesus and let Him help me. He is the Light of the World and displaces all fear and darkness! Praise God!

Unwittingly, fear used to be my default. I didn’t even truly realize it until my late-husband Dave got diagnosed with cancer. Then, God taught me how to deal with my fear.

It wasn’t fun, simple, or pretty—but I am so grateful.

Finally, I know many other people deal with these types of issues too. No one should have to deal with fear, anxiety, or worry alone. My hope is this will be a prompt to get some help, professional or otherwise, and break free from fear, anxiety, and worry.

Don’t give up!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for setting me free from fear. Thank You that I don’t have to be afraid. Help me walk in your power and strength. Renew my mind and show me new ways to keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you deal with fear, anxiety, or worry? One…or all three?

Tasks: First, consider asking a counselor or trusted friend (or both!) for help.

Second, listen to “The Way (New Horizons)”  by Pat Barrett. It always reminds me of God’s goodness and redirects my focus back to Jesus. I love the lyrics:

“It’s a new horizon and I’m set on You
And You meet me here today with mercies that are new
All my fears and doubts, they can all come too
Because they can’t stay long when I’m here with You”

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Personality, Wisdom, Words

Say So!

Lately, I have been implementing a new morning routine, using “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod (no affiliate links). I have gotten up early on-and-off over the years, but haven’t always maintained those stints…

Nonetheless, I find it helpful to wake up before Lydia so I can have some time to gather my thoughts and accomplish a few personal tasks. It helps me feel like I am starting the morning with my best foot forward.

(It helps that my cousin also gets up early and can keep me accountable!)

One part of the “Miracle Morning” that I have come to enjoy is saying affirmations. I used to think this was a cheesy way to toot my own horn. Not so appealing!

But now, I realize affirmations are really about calling out the good I see in myself.

It’s a way to give myself grace.

I used to focus more on my weaknesses and failures—but let’s face it—that never helped!

Instead, focusing on the positive through saying affirmations out loud has kept me from going back to bed. Another benefit is that I am retraining my brain every morning.

Now that’s a win-win!

This week, I downloaded a phone app called “ThinkUp” which already has a ton of affirmations listed. There is a free version, where you can list 5 affirmations (theirs or DIY). But, for about $15, you can buy the premium version which allows you to track as many as you want.

I have already used a number of the affirmations in the app, but I have put in quite a few of my own, too. Some of them are simple statements like, “I love who I have become.” Some are statements about God’s faithfulness to me. Others are Scripture verses, like Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Some of the affirmations I put in are quotes by famous people, like, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” by Eleanor Roosevelt.

I’ll take all the reminders I can get. As long as it motivates and encourages me, it counts!

Interestingly, while the affirmations about me are true, some of them are not easy to do. Yet they give me something to work toward and achieve.

For example, “I appreciate the ability to rest” is true, but I have to remember to actually do this regularly! Taking care of myself and resting is so important.

One cool part of the app is that you can record the affirmations in your own voice. So, instead of just reading them to yourself, you can listen to them. I love this because it’s essentially reprogramming my self-talk. (It also reminds me of the good in other people.)

God loves affirming us, too! In Matthew 3:17, the Father affirmed Jesus and said how pleased He was with His Son. He loves us the same! Praise God!

Here are some other affirmations I have found helpful:

“I enjoy waking up early to reach my goals.”

“I love taking care of my body so my body can take care of me.”

“I focus on progress, not perfection.”

 “I give myself grace and extend it to others.”

“I am doing my best and that is enough.”

“I am well-loved and have lots of people cheering me on.”

“I am grateful for my life’s challenges because they help me grow and become who I am.”

“Put on the full armor of God.” (from Ephesians 6:10-18)

“I am resilient and keep moving forward.”

“When I see something good, I say so.”

Ultimately, what God says to me and about me is most important.

I want to repeat what He says!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for affirming me in Your Word. Please renew my mind and transform me from the inside out. Thanks for all You do for me! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you use affirmations on a regular basis? Has it changed anything for you?

Tasks: Download the “ThinkUp” app and record at least 5 affirmations!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Personality, Procrastination

Shredding Inadequacy and Indifference

This past Sunday, I was feeling a little blah (aka unmotivated and indifferent). I was also feeling inadequate. I’m sure there are several reasons, including needing to do a lot of housework, while running short on sleep and exercise.

On Sunday, it all was weighing me down because I have struggled to find a good routine lately and have not been meeting my personal goals.

So, on the way to church, I prayed to refocus on God and asked Him to make me a blessing to others at the morning service. Then, I heard a song that spoke to what I was feeling. Every moment can be used to worship God no matter what we are feeling.

Sad, bad, mad, glad, or blah…take it to Jesus!

Ironically, that day the pastor’s sermon was similar. The message was about reclaiming our soul (our mind, will, and emotions) from the world’s influences. We can easily get drained or lose sight of who we are in Christ if we don’t keep things in check.

I felt convicted that I need to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s nudges…humbling in a good way. I was also challenged because often I get stuck in a cycle of performance. Sometimes, I try to reach goals on my own, forgetting to rely on Jesus and what really matters.

It’s not all just paying bills, dishes, laundry, parenting and work. For me, it can also include too much social media times and games, or even too much reading. These activities are fine by themselves, but can be major distractions at times.

Quite possibly, my biggest soul killer can be too much thinking (daydreaming, problem solving, planning, or worrying about things I can’t control). I happen to enjoy thinking quite a bit, but want to make sure my thoughts are God-centered and not self-centered or fear-promoting.

On Monday, Lydia and I took my paper shredder to an office store. Random, I know, but mine was jammed—and had been for at least a month or two. (Yes, I also have been ignoring my to-be-shredded pile for far too long!) With a little nudge from God, I finally decided to ask for help with it.

Well, my shredder was beyond repair so I opted to buy a new one. I didn’t really want to spend more money, as I had recently been to that same store three other times (including for school and office supplies).

To my surprise, I found a floor model that was a major upgrade from my old shredder for about 75% off the original cost. This model was about the same cost as the tiniest shredder on the shelf. And, it was so big it took up the almost the entire cart!

In that moment, I felt God’s grace and love because He knew just what I needed. I had wanted a bigger shredder so I don’t have to empty the other one as fast. But I hadn’t planned to buy one because of the cost.

Thus, it felt like a blessing to get such a deal on this giant new shredder—like God hand-picked it for me! I’m grateful I didn’t miss what He wanted to do for me. Acknowledging God’s presence encouraged me and reenergized me!

Even something as trivial as a paper shredder can be a tool God uses to draw us closer to Him. It also felt like a positive step in tackling my messy office floor! Quite a few unruly piles of paper have accumulated over time!

Later, in another moment of brave humility (is that a thing?), I felt motivated to ask a friend for help. I need some accountability! She gladly agreed to come help me go through some boxes and clutter that have also been weighing me down.

Soon, we’ll chat and catch up as she helps me sort through shelves and stuff I have been putting off instead of putting away… Cleaning and organizing is better with friends, right?!

I’m grateful that God meets us where we are…mess and all.

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God, thanks for not giving up on me! Thanks for making me new from the inside out. May my heart and life bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are ways that you take care of yourself (your soul)? How do you let God take care of you?

Tasks: Look for ways to revitalize your walk with Jesus. Look for Him in ordinary moments. Perhaps He has a surprise for you as you draw closer to Him!

 

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Miscellaneous, Perfectionism, Personality, Prayer, Wisdom, Worship

Free Indeed

Happy Independence Day!! I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating our country, our freedom, and all our blessings. I appreciate all the brave military men, women, and their families who have served and protected us. Thank you for your many sacrifices.

About a month ago, my next-door neighbors went to see Mt. Rushmore. Their kids came over to play one day and I asked how the trip was. Their son is a little younger than Lydia. He told me, “I liked George Washington because he fought ALL the bad guys!”

I love his enthusiasm! May we all celebrate like that today!

On Sunday, one of our pastors reminded us that worshipping God is our greatest freedom. When we worship, we are on the ‘cutting edge’ of what God is doing in America. There is so much power in our praises. But while religious freedom is part of our country’s foundation, how easily we take it for granted!

Worship brings us closer to God—and in His presence, we are set free from all that weighs us down. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. He gives us peace!

Case in point: Fear is subtle and I didn’t realize until Monday afternoon that I was worrying about some upcoming plans and decisions. While I have learned to deal with fear much quicker than in the past, this still caught be by surprise.

One reason I have been anxious is that I don’t have all the details yet and I don’t want to make a mistake. (Of course, that is just life. We all deal with that.) But on occasion, my old perfectionistic tendencies still try to trip me up and I get stuck!

Then, on Monday evening, I went to church for a special worship session. Singing helped me refocus on the Lord and turn my burdens over to Him. There was a brief sermon, and afterward, I humbly asked for prayer.

During the sermon on Monday night, the pastor gave some cool facts about the universe. In summary, our sun is a fairly small star compared to others that are farther away. Of course, Earth is even smaller than the sun… and so, we humans are just a small dot in the universe. It was a great reminder of how big God is.

Even more, I gained perspective on the size of my problems versus God’s love for me.  God is much more capable than me and has greater plans! Jesus gives me His strength to do difficult things. So, I don’t have to be afraid or try to figure out everything on my own!

As I worshiped God on Monday, my fear subsided. I felt His presence and decided to trust Him more. I still don’t know exactly how everything will work out, but I have peace.

I know God will help me: He is for me and with me.  

My Victory is in Jesus! I am free indeed.

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Heavenly Father, thank you for blessing America. On this Independence Day, may we remember that we are dependent on You. May we never forget the price YOU paid for our freedom. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Question: Do you have special holiday plans today?

Task: Listen to ‘Who You Say I Am’ by Hillsong Worship.

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance

Keep On Kayaking

On Sunday afternoon, Lydia and I celebrated a fun accomplishment! We went kayaking! For me, it was a dream come true…something I have wanted to do with Lydia for quite some time.

Kayaking was a personal victory on several fronts. First, I simply managed to do it! Paddling on a river is one of my favorite things to do—I love the challenge and find it relaxing. Yet, I haven’t gone out in years.

It can be difficult to try new things or go to new places on my own, let alone with a child! Sometimes, I don’t give myself enough credit… In fact, I had previously talked myself out of canoeing or kayaking this month because it seemed overwhelming to coordinate our schedule with the rental facility hours, weather, the water conditions, etc.

Second, I wasn’t sure Lydia would be able to paddle much, and I didn’t know if I could handle everything on my own. Between paddling and safety, there’s a lot to consider! Besides, even if she could paddle, I thought for sure, she’d want to quit after two minutes…and/or start complaining.

Earlier in the week, I decided to scout out the area beforehand so we knew where to go. It was easy to find and there were several vessels available…check. I picked up a ton of brochures to read…check. Lydia seemed to enjoy it…check.

On Sunday, the forecasted rain looked like it might miss us. Then, I showed Lydia a couple YouTube videos on paddling so she knew the basics. (It was better than nothing, haha!!) And, with a leap of faith, we headed over to Moorhead, MN.

I had very low expectations and mostly just wanted to get Lydia some experience. At the dock, I decided to ask a few questions and let the workers give me feedback on if it was a good idea. If they advised against it, I told Lydia we’d go geocaching along the shore instead.

After explaining my concerns, the workers assured me that we could do it! The water was high and the current was fast due to recent rainfall, so they suggested a kayak instead of a canoe because it is lower to the water level. It would be more manageable in the fast water.

So, we put on our life jackets and got a quick lesson in paddling. Then, I helped carry the tandem kayak to the dock and we were off! We paddled up stream and then, later, coasted back. There were other families and individuals doing the same.

I’m happy to report, Lydia totally proved me wrong! She did so well, and went far beyond my expectations. She never complained, she paddled like a machine, AND she asked if we could go again soon. 🙂

We made it under two bridges and I bet next time we can go to the third! We both had a lot of fun and were proud of ourselves. It was very fulfilling. Win-win!

I’m glad I didn’t let fear stop me from taking Lydia on the water by myself. I now feel confident that we can have many more adventures together! We will definitely keep on kayaking… Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for giving me courage and for protecting me! You fill my life with good things. Please direct my path and help me keep moving forward in faith. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is on your summer bucket list? Is anything holding you back from accomplishing those adventures?

Tasks: Don’t let fear dictate your steps—choose to move forward in faith! Quite likely, you’ll find some blessings and surprises along the way!

Posted on in Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Life is Short, Miscellaneous, Parenting, Perseverance, Wisdom

The Difference Between Moving On and Moving Forward

Yesterday, we reached a big milestone in our grace journey. It was five years since Dave died…and five years of walking it out step-by-step.

Each moment has been drenched in God’s grace.

Five years ago, it felt like this milestone would never arrive. I had no plan and no clue what to do. (And for a planner, that’s kind of a big deal!) Suffice it to say, we faced a lot of challenges.

Yesterday felt noteworthy—yet at the same time felt just like any other day. The normalcy of it made me even more aware of God’s thorough healing. While it hasn’t been easy, I’m grateful.

I want Lydia to associate this day with goodness—instead of pain or sorrow—and identify the overwhelming Victory we have in Christ. So, each year I’ve given her a small token to mark the occasion.

Needless to say, Lydia was excited about yesterday. She woke up with such anticipation, “This is going to be a great day!” I loved her cheerful attitude; she loved the little cat ring I gave her before school.

So yesterday, we celebrated Dave’s memory and that he is safe and secure… By God’s grace, we are still standing strong! Thank You, Jesus. Every Victory is found in You!

Often, we pray for God to do big things, and then want to tell Him how to accomplish all our ideas. But His ways are bigger than our ways. Our small minds cannot comprehend all the good He has in store for us.

 As He promised in Romans 8:28, God has used this horrible tragedy for my good and His glory…so I can, in turn, help others and bless them. My goal is to then point people back to see God’s goodness in their own lives.

Honestly, I don’t need to understand the “why factor.” I am just grateful that God knows exactly what we need. His grace covers me and I can move forward in Victory.

Victory starts with Jesus at the Cross and His Resurrection but then carries over into everyday life. Each day brings opportunities to live victoriously. We have the choice to stand firm or move forward.

For me, standing firm means NOT running away from all the pain and sorrow—which is the exact opposite of what I sometimes want to do. Standing firm means not giving up even an inch of that holy ground. Moving forward is taking that first step and then another and another.

Some Victories are large and some are small. Some come easy and some are a struggle. Either way, slow and steady progress is still good.

It is strange to think that many of my friends now, never even met Dave… These days, I don’t share as much about him because sometimes the timing or mood isn’t right. Still, I appreciate anyone who will listen when I really need it. Thank you!!

After a big life change, people often get a ‘grace period’ to adjust. Though, after five years, perhaps some people would say it is time to move on. (I get it. Life goes on.) But, there is a difference between moving on and moving forward. And really, you can’t do both!

Moving on implies that we need to cut our losses and forget the past. Just get over it already! Moving on feels like an either/or option. You can either stay stuck or leave everything behind.

Moving forward, on the other hand, acknowledges the pain, grief, loss, or other wound but chooses to see beyond it. It is inclusive of one’s past and current experiences but allows for new options in the future. Moving forward may seem agonizing at first but is worth it in the long-run.

Moving on is the gut reaction—handling it on your own. Keep your head down and work hard to push through the pain. The problem is that approach is not sustainable. It uses up our energy so we have nothing left to give.

Moving forward, then, is the grace response—letting Jesus do the heavy work. Keep your head high—focused on Jesus—honor the past, and be brave. Surprisingly, we find more energy and power because the Holy Spirit covers our weakness and renews us with His strength.

Each person’s journey looks different. There is no one-size-fits-all ‘right’ way to deal with life’s pain and trials. But, for me, the greater Victory is found in moving forward with Jesus. He is faithful and can do far more than we could ever ask or imagine!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for all Your grace and goodness toward us. All glory and praise to You, Lord. Help us continue to move forward in Victory as you bring freedom and wholeness. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Questions: What are your thoughts on standing firm, moving forward, and moving on? Do you feel like you are living in Victory—or still struggling?

Tasks: Praising God is one way to keep moving forward and refocus on Jesus. Listen to this song: “Surrender” (Fight My Battles) by Michael W. Smith

Posted on in Books and Movies I Like, Fear/Don't Fake Brave, Journey of Grace, Miscellaneous, Perseverance, Wisdom, Worship

Book Review: When God Doesn’t Fix It

Recently, I finished another book that I’d highly recommend to anyone dealing with grief or trying to understand how life has turned out so differently than planned…

The book is called, When God Doesn’t Fix It, by Laura Story. Like the other memoir I reviewed, this book also was published two years ago, but I wasn’t ready for it then. I’m so grateful for God’s healing grace—and for how far He has brought me!

The author is an award-winning singer, songwriter, and worship leader. But twelve years ago, her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent a ‘successful’ surgery. However, he now has several deficits including short-term memory problems and loss of peripheral vision. Parts of the story are very funny and other parts are very poignant.

The book has many parallels to my own story, yet both are still unique. Of course, I can relate to the ups and downs of dealing with health issues. When he was sick with cancer, my late-husband, Dave required more care as time went on, but didn’t improve. Life never returned to the way it was.

Ms. Story dispels several myths we believe about God and shows the Truth using Scripture. The Lord always keeps His promises (See 2 Corinthians 1:20)! But often, we place expectations on Him that He never agreed to do for us. Then, we tend to feel betrayed and blame God when He doesn’t come through like we think He should.

Take, for example, the subject of healing. Indeed, Jesus certainly did heal many people. However, as great as that was, physical healing was not His main goal. We see in Luke 19:10 that Jesus came “to seek and to save that which was lost.” Thus, He had a greater purpose in mind than just physical healing…

(The book gives more details and more examples, but I can trust the Lord for greater things in my life too!)

I appreciated that Ms. Story wrote honestly about her faith journey, one that has more questions than answers. She and her family have repeatedly prayed for healing but have had to learn to move forward without the resolution they desire. Her husband’s condition has not improved, but they have chosen to grow through the experience.

Ms. Story didn’t pretend to understand the “why factor.” Instead of demanding God to fix her family’s problems, they are embracing the present journey. They are choosing to praise Jesus and live for Him, becoming better, not bitter.

This book reminds me that we don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.

God is SO good!!

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Father God, thanks for all You do for me. Thanks for graciously guiding me and providing for me. Help me to praise You even when I don’t understand my circumstances. Help me to walk in faith! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are your God-sized questions that seem to have no answers? How can you trust Jesus and move forward?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Blessings,” by Laura Story. If you read her book, When God Doesn’t Fix It, let me know what you think!