Say So!

Lately, I have been implementing a new morning routine, using “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod (no affiliate links). I have gotten up early on-and-off over the years, but haven’t always maintained those stints…

Nonetheless, I find it helpful to wake up before Lydia so I can have some time to gather my thoughts and accomplish a few personal tasks. It helps me feel like I am starting the morning with my best foot forward.

(It helps that my cousin also gets up early and can keep me accountable!)

One part of the “Miracle Morning” that I have come to enjoy is saying affirmations. I used to think this was a cheesy way to toot my own horn. Not so appealing!

But now, I realize affirmations are really about calling out the good I see in myself.

It’s a way to give myself grace.

I used to focus more on my weaknesses and failures—but let’s face itthat never helped!

Instead, focusing on the positive through saying affirmations out loud has kept me from going back to bed. Another benefit is that I am retraining my brain every morning.

Now that’s a win-win!

This week, I downloaded a phone app called “ThinkUp which already has a ton of affirmations listed. There is a free version, where you can list 5 affirmations (theirs or DIY). But, for about $15, you can buy the premium version which allows you to track as many as you want.

I have already used a number of the affirmations in the app, but I have put in quite a few of my own, too. Some of them are simple statements like, “I love who I have become.” Some are statements about God’s faithfulness to me. Others are Scripture verses, like Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Some of the affirmations I put in are quotes by famous people, like, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” by Eleanor Roosevelt.

I’ll take all the reminders I can get. As long as it motivates and encourages me, it counts!

Interestingly, while the affirmations about me are true, some of them are not easy to do. Yet they give me something to work toward and achieve.

For example, “I appreciate the ability to rest” is true, but I have to remember to actually do this regularly! Taking care of myself and resting is so important.

One cool part of the app is that you can record the affirmations in your own voice. So, instead of just reading them to yourself, you can listen to them. I love this because it’s essentially reprogramming my self-talk. (It also reminds me of the good in other people.)

God loves affirming us, too! In Matthew 3:17, the Father affirmed Jesus and said how pleased He was with His Son. He loves us the same! Praise God!

Here are some other affirmations I have found helpful:

“I enjoy waking up early to reach my goals.”

“I love taking care of my body so my body can take care of me.”

“I focus on progress, not perfection.”

 “I give myself grace and extend it to others.”

“I am doing my best and that is enough.”

“I am well-loved and have lots of people cheering me on.”

“I am grateful for my life’s challenges because they help me grow and become who I am.”

“Put on the full armor of God.” (from Ephesians 6:10-18)

“I am resilient and keep moving forward.”

“When I see something good, I say so.”

Ultimately, what God says to me and about me is most important.

I want to repeat what He says!

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Heavenly Father, thanks for affirming me in Your Word. Please renew my mind and transform me from the inside out. Thanks for all You do for me! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you use affirmations on a regular basis? Has it changed anything for you?

Tasks: Download the “ThinkUp” app and record at least 5 affirmations!

Pray and Push Through

I have noticed a theme in my life lately: God is calling me to pray and push through. Keep on keeping on.

Life is certainly crazy at times, but despite the ups and downs, I need to persevere. I may not always see what God is doing, but I need to hang on tight to Jesus!

Change can be a two-edged sword. Sometimes, it seems change will never come. Bored, I can’t stand to bide my time. Then, when abrupt change does happen, I want things to return to the way they were! (I can be so fickle!)

Similarly, perhaps you find yourself in an impossible situation that looks like it will never change. Perhaps what you were hoping for hasn’t come to pass. Or, perhaps life just looks so different… certainly not what you expected.

Maybe it feels like only an ‘act of God’ will bring what you desire! It’s easy to feel down when it seems He is not listening to your cries for help. But, there is hope. Don’t give up!

The good news is that God always hears us and answers each of our prayers. He just may not answer how we want. God answers our prayers in three ways: Yes, No, or Not Yet.

Instead of trying to figure out how to make what we want happen, we can choose to trust God and His timing. God won’t give us anything less than His best.

He already gave us Jesus, His greatest gift—everything else is just gravy!

It’s a relief knowing God hears me and has good plans for me.

Even if God says No—or makes me wait it out—I am grateful I don’t have to make the final decision. I just have to be faithful and do what He has asked me to do.

I can praise God while I am waiting (and still hoping) but also know if it is ultimately a No, then He has something even better in store. Waiting on God is a win-win!

What joy! I can’t go wrong!

“God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him.” –Jim Elliot

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Father God, You are so good! Thanks for always giving me Your best. Help me trust You more as I wait. By Your grace and power, I won’t give up! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you holding onto a dream that seems beyond you? Are you tempted to walk away from it? Could it be that God wants you to press in closer to Him?

Tasks: Read The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. Listen to “The Way” by Pat Barrett.

Book Review: Joni & Ken

This summer, I have been reading several memoirs, many of them related to faith or medical issues. Recently a friend loaned me a book called Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story and I have finally gotten around to reading it.

I have a large ‘to be read’ pile, but I could barely put this book down!

I was somewhat familiar with Joni Eareckson Tada’s story, of how she broke her neck in a diving accident as a teen and has been a quadriplegic ever since. However, I had no idea all that she has been through or how she and her husband make their marriage work.

The book highlights each of their struggles—and how they haven’t given up. Joni has been dealing with intense chronic pain for many years even without true feeling in her limbs. Pain medication barely takes the edge off. She also has had broken bones, pressure ulcers, severe pneumonia, and even breast cancer.

Ken, as a caregiver, has his own challenges that require perseverance. He has also had to take a backseat to his wife’s fame. As a result, Joni and Ken’s marriage has been tested and refined… Yet, these experiences have grown their relationship. Furthermore, they have been able to advocate for other people with disabilities.

I really appreciate—and recommend—this book because it was very real with no pretense. Life is not peachy all the time. Yet, this story proves that suffering can serve to draw us closer to Jesus. Indeed, God has been faithful to see the Tadas through.

Each of us has our own troubles that can define us or refine us. We have the choice whether to give up or give it to God. We can choose to stop in our tracks when life gets tough, or we can choose to move forward even when we don’t see where we are going.

We can trust Jesus because He never lets us down!

Each time I read or hear a story documenting God’s grace, goodness, and faithfulness in the midst of uncertainty, it makes me trust Him more for the outcome of my story too. Whatever you are facing today, know God loves You—He is for you and with you!

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God, thanks for writing our stories with grace and love. You are so kind and good—the best is yet to come! Help us trust You with the details. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you familiar with Joni Eareckson Tada? Watch this video! What good books have you read lately?

Tasks: Consider how you can be a blessing to someone with ongoing needs—medical or otherwise. Even just a little encouragement can be a good start!

Book Review: And Still She Laughs

I recently finished a book called, And Still She Laughs: Defiant Joy in the Depths of Suffering, by Kate Merrick. This book took me by surprise. (No affiliate links!) It is somewhat like a memoir in that the author explains some details of her story. Her 8 year old daughter died of cancer and she shares glimpses into that ordeal.

Even though this tragedy happened years before, the book was more ‘raw’ than I expected. Still, I enjoyed it! While anyone could benefit from this book, I’d highly recommend the book for someone in the early years of grief and loss.

I really appreciated how the author compared her story to three ladies in the Bible. Ms. Merrick and King David’s mistress, Bathsheba, both lost a child under very different circumstances. Yet, God used the ups and downs, shame and embarrassment of Bathsheba’s story to comfort the author. Ms. Merrick wrote how Bathsheba walked with her through this chapter of her life.

Next, Abraham’s wife, Sarah, longed for a child so much that she took matters into her own hands. This created so… many… other… problems. I have read this story in Genesis 18:9-15 countless times—but somehow I must’ve misinterpreted Sarah’s laugh. I always thought she laughed because she was nervous… Nope!

9 “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him. “There, in the tent,” he said.

10 Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

13 Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”

Perhaps the biggest revelation to me in this entire book was that Sarah laughed out of bitterness. I imagine an eye roll with attitude, like, “Ha! Yeah right! I’ll believe that when it happens…” After years of waiting, she had let herself grow bitter with disappointment and unfulfilled dreams. Not only was I surprised by this, I was somewhat convicted too.

Because I realized… sometimes I act similarly. Whenever God shows me something good He wants to give me, but then makes me wait it out, I tend to doubt His goodness and plan. If I’m not careful, I can let that grow into bitterness and reject all the good God wants to do in me, for me, with me, and through me.

God is so gracious to heal and forgive! Sarah trusted God and then named her promised son, Isaac, which means laughter. What joy she must have felt after all those years! After this chapter, I decided to keep an open mind and not automatically laugh away things I don’t understand.

The last Biblical heroine to be discussed was Mary, the mother of Jesus. Again, this was rather enlightening because often, I read her story focused on the action surrounding Jesus…not on how she must’ve felt about all that happened.

It is interesting to compare and contrast these three ladies in Jesus’ genealogy. Where Bathsheba was comforting, and Sarah was convicting, Mary was challenging. Mary just had so much faith in what Jesus could/can do! Despite watching her beloved Son suffer and die on the Cross, she found joy in God’s promises to her.

The books ties up with a glimpse at the Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31:25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Regardless of our circumstances, we can choose joy—and even laugh—because of all Jesus has done (and continues to do) for us.

It’s safe to say, I gleaned more from this book than I thought I would.

There is freedom knowing Jesus carries us. We don’t have to solve all our problems; we just have to come to Him. We can laugh (or cry) in His presence and He will heal our hearts.

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God, thanks for the healing You bring. You are so good! Thanks for giving us joy and the ability to laugh despite our circumstances. May we stay in Your presence and soak up Your grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you read any good books lately? Do you have a recommendation for me?!

Tasks: If you are grieving or know someone who is, consider this book. <3

Book Review: When God Doesn’t Fix It

Recently, I finished another book that I’d highly recommend to anyone dealing with grief or trying to understand how life has turned out so differently than planned…

The book is called, When God Doesn’t Fix It, by Laura Story. Like the other memoir I reviewed, this book also was published two years ago, but I wasn’t ready for it then. I’m so grateful for God’s healing grace—and for how far He has brought me!

The author is an award-winning singer, songwriter, and worship leader. But twelve years ago, her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent a ‘successful’ surgery. However, he now has several deficits including short-term memory problems and loss of peripheral vision. Parts of the story are very funny and other parts are very poignant.

The book has many parallels to my own story, yet both are still unique. Of course, I can relate to the ups and downs of dealing with health issues. When he was sick with cancer, my late-husband, Dave required more care as time went on, but didn’t improve. Life never returned to the way it was.

Ms. Story dispels several myths we believe about God and shows the Truth using Scripture. The Lord always keeps His promises (See 2 Corinthians 1:20)! But often, we place expectations on Him that He never agreed to do for us. Then, we tend to feel betrayed and blame God when He doesn’t come through like we think He should.

Take, for example, the subject of healing. Indeed, Jesus certainly did heal many people. However, as great as that was, physical healing was not His main goal. We see in Luke 19:10 that Jesus came “to seek and to save that which was lost.” Thus, He had a greater purpose in mind than just physical healing…

(The book gives more details and more examples, but I can trust the Lord for greater things in my life too!)

I appreciated that Ms. Story wrote honestly about her faith journey, one that has more questions than answers. She and her family have repeatedly prayed for healing but have had to learn to move forward without the resolution they desire. Her husband’s condition has not improved, but they have chosen to grow through the experience.

Ms. Story didn’t pretend to understand the “why factor.” Instead of demanding God to fix her family’s problems, they are embracing the present journey. They are choosing to praise Jesus and live for Him, becoming better, not bitter.

This book reminds me that we don’t have to have all the answers to walk by faith.

God is SO good!!

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Father God, thanks for all You do for me. Thanks for graciously guiding me and providing for me. Help me to praise You even when I don’t understand my circumstances. Help me to walk in faith! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are your God-sized questions that seem to have no answers? How can you trust Jesus and move forward?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Blessings,” by Laura Story. If you read her book, When God Doesn’t Fix It, let me know what you think!

Finding Grace #112

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was full of beautiful weather and God’s grace! Lydia played outside on several days and it was all around enjoyable for both of us. Thank You, Jesus!

Work went well and included a meeting with several dietitians and nurses! It was nice to have a change of pace and connect with other like-minded health professionals.

I finished a great audiobook this week and have been contemplating God’s grace ever since. When Breath Becomes Air, by the late Paul Kalanithi, was so good. It was as comforting and encouraging as it was bittersweet. It was a great reminder to not take anything for granted… Not our day or job or time, and not our family or friends or health.

Lydia had an exciting week at school, which included a field trip and school program. On Friday, after her ‘Three Piggy Opera,’ we went to the bookstore, read a dozen books and ate a sweet treat. Then, we visited a music store and a gift shop, before eating dinner at Blaze Pizza. Then, we watched the movie ‘Pele’ on Netflix. We had the best time together! I love my sweet girl! God is so good to me…

Today, we enjoyed the gorgeous weather around 60 degrees! Lydia played outside with friends while I updated our little free library. We noticed my tulips coming up and also the start of green grass!! Praise God!

Where did you find God’s grace this week?

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Book Review: When Breath Becomes Air

This week I finished a book that has been in my queue for quite some time. The book, When Breath Becomes Air, was published in 2016, but in all honesty, I wasn’t ready for it back then.

Several friends recommended the book, but I didn’t know if I could handle the intensity at the time. I didn’t want to get sucked into another cycle of grief!

Now, however, I am in a much different place. I decided to listen to the audio version, but I do have a copy of the physical book as well. I highly recommend this book!

The book was written by Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon diagnosed with lung cancer in 2013 at the age of 36. He died in March 2015 just before his 38th birthday, and this book tracks his journey from physician to patient.

The story is quite compelling on its own, but even more so because of our own experience with cancer. I was struck by the similarities between this story and ours.

Mr. Kalanithi was on the verge of reaching his career goals—yet was sidetracked with sickness. Like my late husband, Dave, he did his best at work—regardless of how he felt physically. Both men loved their jobs!

The book also discusses how terminal illness can make a marriage and other relationships stronger. That happened to us too. Mr. Kalanithi sought to secure a good future for his wife, Lucy, and infant daughter, who was born while he was sick. He was always thinking about them.

As his death grew nearer, time seemed to slow down for the author. All of his accolades and accomplishments did not matter. He just wanted to soak up time with his wife, little daughter, and other loved ones.

Mr. Kalanithi was particularly close to his family, and I appreciated the fact that they were so supportive. I, too, am grateful for all the support we have received from family and friends!

For much of the book, it was as if I was hearing Dave tell his side of the story. I found it comforting to perhaps understand a little more about how Dave might’ve felt.

The book was different enough from my experiences that I didn’t have a hard time listening. Yet, the last few chapters were quite compelling because the author’s thoughts, feelings, and physical limitations paralleled what I went through with Dave.

Despite the heartbreak, it was reassuring to hear the same types of questions we dealt with regarding chemo, palliative care, and end of life decisions.

I was encouraged to hear Mr. Kalanithi talk about his faith and hope. He knew the risks and statistics about lung cancer but was never hopeless. He wanted to live his life to the fullest and sought purpose and meaning each day.

Both Mr. Kalanithi and Dave were in their mid-thirties when they were diagnosed and died. Mr. Kalanithi had lung cancer and Dave had colon cancer, but both are not as common in younger people. (Though, that may be changing now.)

Both men had young daughters too little to remember their fathers. Cady Kalanthi was 8 months old when her daddy died; Lydia was 17 months old when Dave died. I’m thankful for the legacies these men left behind.

Neither the author nor my late husband spent much time feeling sorry for themselves. They didn’t complain, but were brave and set an example for others!

If you haven’t already read this book, please consider it! It was helpful to remember that my story is not all that unique. Instead of focusing on all I have lost, I can cherish what I do have: Lydia and precious memories.

Praise God, I also have hope and a good future ahead of me (Jeremiah 29:11)! Yes, Life has turned out differently than expected, but Jesus has been so faithful all these years.

He is so good to us!

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Dear God, thanks for taking such good care of me. Thanks for Your protection and provision through life’s ups and downs. Thank You for your grace! I trust You for a good future. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you read any good books lately? Do prefer physical books or audiobooks or ebooks?

Tasks: Check out this book! Let me know what you think!

Finding Grace #110

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

As I reflect on God’s grace this week, I am filled with gratitude. It was a full week, and while we accomplished a lot, it didn’t seem too daunting. It was fun and relaxing!

This week was filled with creative pursuits! I tried a few new recipes, including a spaghetti sauce with no added sugar. I met some personal writing goals as well. This boost of creativity carried over to my dreams, too! I had several interesting dreams and slept very soundly! In one dream, I was trying to sell a house, but the house kept morphing between a tree house, brick house, and condo. Another dream revolved around politics and a circus… perhaps it mirrored real life in more than one way! 🙂

Perhaps my vivid dreams were also related to two intense audiobooks I finished. The books, If I Run, and, If I’m Found, by Terri Blackstock, kept me in suspense. I had to take a break at times to let the intensity subside, but both were very well-written. I have the audio version of the third book, If I Live, too. I hope to listen to it soon!

On Wednesday, I shared my story with a group of moms at my church. I always appreciate any opportunity to speak about God’s grace in my life. It is healing for me! Each of our personal stories has value. As we share our stories with each other, we are encouraged to embrace what God is doing in our lives. He is so good!

On Thursday, we took a tour of Lydia’s new school for next year. It was fun to see so many neighbors! We enjoyed learning about the school and meeting some of the staff. Everyone was friendly and Lydia should have a smooth transition in the fall.

We still have a decent amount of snow on the ground, but much of it melted this week. We were “supposed” to get more snow this weekend, but I think we will miss it. Many friends across the Midwest got hit instead… Thankfully, I saw a few more signs of spring. I saw the return of songbirds this week, including Mr. House Finch who serenaded me on Thursday and Friday! 🙂

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #99

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This week was full but good! Once again, I felt God directing my steps each day. I helped friends, met important writing deadlines, and was productive at work. I’m grateful!

Recently, I noticed my furnace wasn’t quite working like it should. I set up an appointment for this week to have it checked out. Turns out, the furnace was fine and just needed a little servicing. I will make sure to keep the maintenance up from now on… Oddly enough, the batteries in my thermostat needed to be changed, though they have lasted about 7 years as-is! Thankfully, the batteries were an inexpensive fix! 

On Wednesday, Lydia scored a book called, The Book With No Pictures, which she loved. She remembered it from last year and started reading it to herself in the bookstore. I couldn’t resist buying it for her. She kept laughing for about an hour!

After several years of going back-and-forth, I finally decided to get a remote starter for my car. I had a coupon, so that helped. 😉 A friend and I went to coffee during that time, and we also enjoyed some tasty treats. I was thankful for the good conversation and a ride!

The weather was fairly mild this week in the upper twenties and thirties. Spring is still a long way off (at least in Fargo), but I can see it will be here before we know it!

Lydia cheered at today’s basketball games (for Upward Sports). She is really enjoying it! The basketball players must’ve been in Kindergarten or first grade. They were so little but surprisingly coordinated. We are looking forward to a great season!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #92

I love giving God a shout out for what He has done. We don’t do that nearly enough!

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was a good and interesting week as I saw God working all around me! On Monday, Lydia’s school let out two hours early due to blizzard conditions. A blizzard means poor visibility, not necessarily a ton of snow. I ran two errands just as the storm was starting and was glad to get home safe. When I picked her up from the bus, Lydia said, “Mom, I am only a little sad…because I love school so much!” We spent the rest of the day doing fun little projects!

Early in the week, I met with some ladies in a writing group. We meet once a month, and I shared about my blog. It was fun to see how much I have grown through the writing process. Later in the week, I had another important writing meeting. I left feeling encouraged about a big project. There is still a lot to do, but I am on the right track!

This week, I shared a video with a friend after we talked at church. The video was about something called a Journible. This is a simple little journaling book in which one can copy the Bible by hand. There are many benefits, including understanding and remembering God’s word at a new level. I have a few friends who decided to do this with me. If you would like to join us (or need more information), leave a comment here or check out Grace and Lemonade on Facebook. I will post more information there. I’m excited to encounter God’s word in a more personal way!

Lydia and I decorated our Christmas tree last night. We listened to Christmas music, and I tried my best not to be sentimental. It is still a little bittersweet to put up old ornaments that Dave loved so much. But, seeing Lydia’s face light up was well worth the emotions I was facing. This season, I am choosing to walk in Victory!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!