Finding Grace #400

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Leaves Autumn photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a solid week with lots going on each night after work and school. And work was busy as usual, too!

On Monday, Lydia and I went to the chiropractor for routine adjustments. I’m thankful to have finally found a female chiropractor just a few minutes away. We go every couple months, and I feel much better physically than I did even a year ago.

Tuesdays are usually my blog writing days (well, nights), but this week, it was also Halloween. I had to shovel new snow in the early morning before work. (Most of it has melted!) Then, Lydia went trick-or-treating with a friend, while I stayed home to pass out candy and write. It was a good night, and we enjoyed some classic chocolate treats!

We had a good Wednesday night at church. My Alpha group talked about the topic of evil in the world and how we get distracted from God’s purposes. Lydia said the youth group topic was about dealing with fear. Timely topics all around!

On Thursday, Lydia had her first orchestra concert! It was a combined program with the middle school and high school (6th -12th grades, of course). I sent the link to my family, and it was so cool that they got to watch from several states and time zones. Lydia had a blast and can’t wait for the next concert!

Last night, Lydia and I made chicken fajitas and a delicious fruit salad after I got home from work and coffee with a friend. Then, we relaxed and watched a movie after a long week!

Today, Lydia is not feeling as well, so she is taking it easy. I am trying to get caught up around the house and also doing a little relaxing. I’m thankful for Saturdays!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #395

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Free Apple Red photo and picture

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This week was good, and we did some fun activities!

Lydia invited a friend over for Wednesday night youth group. The topic was on godly friends, and then they enjoyed apple cider and smores. It was fun hearing them laugh on the way home!

This week, I took home some fresh apples a coworker brought in to share. I made some apple fritters, which were delicious! She was unsure of what to make (which is one reason she was giving some away), so I let her borrow my food processor and gave her some tips.  It’s fun to collaborate!

On Friday night, my coworkers all got together for a baby shower. We had a lot of fun laughing, eating, and watching them open baby gifts. It was fun to see my friends’ little kids and a big German Shepherd, too!

Today, Lydia and I did Saturday things, including chores around the house and even mowed this evening (maybe the last time this season!). I made some phone calls and worked on some projects. Then, we watched the movie, Elemental!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Finding Grace #383

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?!

This was a fun week with lots of awesome highlights!

On Monday, I went to work and had a busy day, in that only three of our team were there! Most of my coworkers had approved time off, and one person was sick. We usually don’t try to cut it short like that, but thankfully, we were able to get all the work done.

We celebrated Independence Day on Tuesday. Lydia and I went to see the new Indiana Jones matinee (really good!) and then hung out with several families in our neighborhood that evening. I also invited our African friends over for fireworks and explained our American customs. We had fun catching up over watermelon and s’mores. Moreover, it was hilarious when the youngest kept shoving marshmallows into her mouth, even when her mom was ‘yelling’ at her to stop. 🙂 They clearly don’t eat many sweets, and I love that good parenting translates across cultures!

This week, at work, I spent a couple of days tracking down specialty devices for a patient with tube feeding. I went downstairs to the pharmacy to look through their supplies and spent time with my boss looking online. We found two good solutions, and the patient was very happy. I hope it eases their challenging situation a little.

Yesterday, I had an older patient who was malnourished with several long-term conditions. But, he was fun to talk with and eager to learn! His 90+-year-old parents are in good health, recently driving an hour to pick him up from the hospital! And, his mom still occasionally sends food home with him because she knows he’s not eating enough. (He did a subtle eye roll but clearly adores her.) 🙂 It was heartwarming and funny at the same time. A mother’s love never ends!

Today, we did little things around the house. We started by eating fruit pizza with my morning coffee on the deck. It was perfect, and I enjoyed listening to the melody of my windchimes blend in with the birdsong. Later, Lydia packed for church camp, and I got in a good workout. Thanks, Lord, for these summer days!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Hospitality and Banana Bread

Back in September, I wrote a post entitled, “Immigrant Introductions,” where I mentioned my new neighbors, who are from South Africa. If you recall, I was concerned about them finding some snow gear!

Well, here is a little bit of an update! The wife/mother is really sweet and sometimes calls to check in. Last Friday, I missed her call but texted her back. She replied that she was just missing us, and as soon as I read that, it struck me that she was also probably missing her family (thousands of miles away).

I prayed about what to do, and within a few minutes, I invited them all over to our house to visit. I am so glad I did!

Free photos of Hyacinth

Of course, everyone needs food, but we also use it for social occasions. Food is welcoming, eases us into conversation when needed, and it can serve as a way to share cultures. One of the things I love about being a dietitian is that food is always applicable!

As I considered what food to serve our guests, I thought about starches. Common all over the world, breads, rolls, flatbreads, rice, oats, potatoes, corn, etc. are always familiar and tend to bring comfort. (In our American context, we are privileged to be able to choose or not choose these foods as we see fit and to meet our goals, but others around the world often don’t have that luxury.)

Indeed, I considered what my other African friends would recommend. I recalled that one of my Kenyan friends survived on bread and rolls for his first few months in America – he wasn’t sure what to make of all the other foods! A friend from Ghana loves to bake, and she has a penchant for banana bread, which she first had in Fargo. 🙂

Now, I could have made some treats, but I really didn’t have a lot of time to bake. So, I bought some items to share: banana bread, donut holes, and some tiny cinnamon roll bites from the local grocery store’s bakery section. We don’t buy these often, but it was perfect for a family of five, plus Lydia and me. We already had some little tangerines and kiwis on hand, so we were set.

Free photos of Food

On Sunday afternoon, they ran from their apartment building to our house. We started talking easily, and Lydia played some games with the three kids – two boys and a girl. It was good for her to share her toys because as an only child, she really doesn’t get many opportunities! It’s easy to share toys in public, but when they are yours, it’s different.

We adults had a lot to talk about! We discussed American holidays, including upcoming days off school, such as Veterans day, Thanksgiving, and so on. The mom’s birthday is on Black Friday, so I explained what that is, and we joked that she might find some good deals. I briefly explained my story of how Dave and I came to Fargo and how he died when Lydia was little. We talked a little about cancer, and I showed them Dave’s picture. They were kind and sympathetic.

They told me of their arrival in America. They flew into New York, then took the Amtrak train all the way to North Dakota. They were amazed at the variety of landscapes, and also how most people used credit cards – not cash, which was all they had. Someone kindly bought them food because the train vendor couldn’t make the change they needed. Through their comments, I gathered the cost of food feels high to them and that they are shopping at some of the local thrift stores. (They are still looking for adequate snow gear).

We discussed working in healthcare – they are both nurses. He is already working at a local hospital, and she is still studying for her American nursing exam (NCLEX). They loved hearing about how I work with Veterans. This led to talking a little about politics, and it was fascinating to hear what these new immigrants had already learned about American politics. Because I am a federal employee, I didn’t say too much, but they clearly have opinions about us in other countries!

Free photos of Bread

After a little while, I invited them to the table to eat. I served coffee, tea, a fizzy fruit drink, and apple juice (certainly a treat for us, too!). I’m happy to report they loved the food overall. I explained what each item was, and sure enough, they enjoyed the banana bread! I also verified that they had found good grocery stores including some of the African markets, so they can find foods they like and that meet their needs.

Ironically, the kids still had their own preferences and ways of eating as American kids do. One wanted a little butter but was bummed her mom spread it so thin. One took a couple extra pieces of banana bread, and then was made to eat it all to avoid waste. One was scolded when they asked for a second donut hole. They all enjoyed precisely one kiwi each since they are ‘very expensive’ where they come from. It was funny but also humbling.

Besides the warm conversation, my favorite part was when we were cleaning up. Of course, the mom wanted to help clean up. I looked over to the kitchen, and there she was washing the dishes (mostly plates and forks).

I said, “Oh, no! You are my guest. Don’t worry about that. Why don’t you go sit down.”

She was determined, her hands full of soapy water. Then, I remembered that she is a mother and changed tactics.

I smiled at her and said, “You know, I will have Lydia do these later. It will be a good lesson for her in hospitality and service.” Immediately, she laughed knowingly and agreed to save the dishes for Lydia. Motherhood for the win!

Free photos of Child

All in all, we had a great visit. It was amazing to know these friends are so different, yet we have a lot in common. We enjoy good food, fun, and family, but we also have the fellowship of Jesus! We have different church backgrounds, but that really doesn’t matter.  God calls every tribe, every tongue, and every nation unto Himself. How wonderful!

Our guests were conscious of the time and stayed about two hours, then told the kids to clean up and say thank you. Good parenting is not limited to one culture or another! In fact, all five of them said thank you about twenty times! I hope we will see them again soon. Already on Monday, the kids eagerly waved to Lydia on the bus!

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Gracious Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of friendship and hospitality. I pray these new friends will feel welcome and continue to adjust. Please keep them safe in their new surroundings. Help me be a good neighbor and friend. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are the go-to foods that you serve when people come over? Have you had anyone new over lately?

Tasks: Take a leap of faith and invite someone to your home, or take them out for coffee or tea (consider splurging on one or two treats!).

Weary Traveler

Ah, the last few weeks have been a little trying for me! Yes, I have been repeatedly taking my worries to the Lord, focusing on rest and sleep, and other self-care tasks. Listening to uplifting music and exercising also have helped when I can squeeze them in.

In all, I am grateful God is doing the heavy work. But sometimes, I still have to do the difficult thing and show up and work hard. That’s just life!

Personally, I have been stretched in a variety of ways. As such, I have been more sensitive to people’s thoughtless comments… things better left unsaid. Instead of just letting things roll off my back, I have had to work at not taking them to heart.

I have also been keeping friends and family in prayer when they share their concerns. All normal things, really, but sometimes the ups and downs of life just add up.

The good news is that I have heard some recent (positive) updates in all these areas. That relieves a little of the pressure when we see God at work. I am glad He is so good at being God!

Rockclimbing, Success, Mountain, Mountains, Climber

Earlier this week, a dear friend and I were catching up. We were comparing similar stories and I had a really good laugh when she told me “love is not irritable.” Don’t you love when ‘iron sharpens iron?!’

She was speaking about 1 Corinthians 13:5, which also mentions love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. It was just what I needed to stop being annoyed! 😉

When times get tough, it can be easy to wish things were different or to think the grass is greener somewhere else. If we aren’t careful, we miss all the good things around us…. and there is soooo much good!

In hindsight, we see our out-of-control emotions were part of the problem. Most of the time, just need to hang on, adjust our expectations, and let God do His thing.

Though, I did recently remind Him I can only be one place at one time… so He ‘needed’ to take care of all the other pressing details. Ahem. 😉 But, instead of clearing my schedule for me, He rearranged it and helped me get everything done! I was hoping for an easy out, but He gave me the grace and strength to persevere.

Then, a little while later, I came across Psalm 61 and also the songs, “Fires” and “Weary Traveler,” both by Jordan St. Cyr. These reminded me that we all face trials and we all have a choice in how we handle them. Challenges are part of the refining process, but they don’t last forever. So, don’t give up!

Yes, we can do difficult things with God’s help! He empowers us and helps us do the impossible. He leads us and shows us what to do. He ordains our steps and has perfect timing. He bears the brunt of the burden. He stands with us in the fires of Life and carries us when we are weak and tired.

I’m grateful God’s grace is not a matching program. His goodness and grace are more than enough to meet our needs! And, He helps us extend that grace to others, too.

I’m glad God is God and I am not! He does not change like shifting shadows. He is our constant Rock, a refuge in time of need. He is trustworthy and sure. Thank You, Jesus!

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God, thanks for Your kindness and patience!! Thanks for not giving up on me. Help me extend others the grace You have given me. Help me be loving, not irritable!! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Have you been calm and peaceful lately, or more easily irritated? How can you let LOVE shine through?

Tasks: Listen to the song, “Fires,” by Jordan St. Cyr and also his song, “Weary Traveler.” So good!!

Notice the Joy

It’s funny how seasons come and seasons go. Sometimes it seems nothing changes; but sometimes, it seems everything has changed! Often, we just take things for granted and we don’t see anything new. We fail to notice the joy that comes with those new seasons. But, God is always at work, and I believe He is always doing something new in our lives.

Over the last few months and even over just a few short weeks, I have noticed some new things in my life. Most of them are subtle, as new habits are forming. It is good to let go of what is not serving us well anymore. One small change can lead to the next!

Architecture, Skyscraper, Urban, City, Construction

First, my hair has grown a few inches, mostly because I just hadn’t taken time to get it cut. I was busy with work and school and so many other things! But after it grew past the awkward stages, I realized I enjoyed it. I still like it short and have recently gotten a trim, but now I can put it up in a longer ponytail which can be very helpful at times!

Indeed, my morning routine is a little quicker now because I don’t have to help my hair to go under! It takes less work, and I have a few extra minutes in the morning to work on little tasks around the house. A win-win as I embrace the natural outward flip at this length!

Oddly enough, my hair makes me look different in the mirror, but I have seen even more changes internally. Growing out my hair has given me a new perspective on who I am and what I like. It has made me rethink other changes I could make. Being open-minded has helped me see potential in other areas, too!

I am all about creating solid, sustainable habits, but change can be difficult for many of us. Yet, what if we just ease into something new or just try it for a week without a major commitment? What if we challenge ourselves to think differently and trust God for something greater?

Nothing is impossible for God, but often it seems we are holding something back. It could be related to fear, laziness, or just lack of enthusiasm. But remember, the first step is the hardest, and tiny steps in the right direction are still considered movement. Use joy as a motivator because there are built-in rewards that keep us moving forward.

So, another recent change is this: I have changed my morning commute. I was taking the highway, which may be slightly faster but is also more stressful at that hour. First, the morning sun shines in my eyes for several minutes. Second, I find myself subconsciously trying to beat other cars on the road. 🙂

It doesn’t necessarily involve speeding… But, if someone pulls in front of me or is going slower than I like, it irks me. Then, I am trying to get ahold of my attitude before walking into work. It is a small thing, but still a stressor I don’t need or want. So now, I take a parallel journey through town and look forward to the drive.

It has more stoplights, but there is less traffic and we naturally have to go slower. If I leave early enough, I hit mostly green lights, which really boosts my mood! The sun is not in my face as much, but I can still enjoy the fall colors and beautiful sunrises. In fact, I have found more joy in this new route because I feel calmer and can focus.

Yesterday morning, the sunrise was bright orange and purple!

Additionally, I have been parking in the overflow area across the street from work. That way, I always have a spot and don’t have to waste time circling around the usual lot. I also save time getting on the road after work because there are only a few cars leaving at any one time (instead of 50+ cars inching along in the other parking lot). Ironically, the highway is the faster, less stressful route on the way home. And, I have been picking up Lydia five minutes earlier, which feels great!

It does help that I have also switched to a backpack instead of a purse and a lunch box for work. I can walk a little more freely and the weight is carried over by my back rather than my arms and shoulders. Keeping everything in the backpack has also helped to relieve the stress of forgetting something because I can keep things in one place!

After this change, I have incorporated other ideas such as drinking tea at night. I am usually a ‘plain jane’ with tea. I don’t like a lot of flavored options or sweeteners, so lately, just decaf green tea or decaf black tea is fine with me. The joy comes through the process of making and drinking the tea. It is more ritualistic than coffee, which is my daily habit. Another bonus has been that if I am enjoying the tea, I don’t feel the need to have a late-night snack! So, my gut feels better too.

Drinking more tea has led to other changes, too. I have several great pieces of equipment that get regular use, but from one week to the next, I don’t always rotate through them all. In the last few weeks, I have been incorporating different activities into my exercise routine. This has helped me recover faster and avoid burnout while making my goals more achievable.

There are other habit changes I have made, but it’s fun to think they all started with NOT getting a haircut… Perhaps you have made small changes due to COVID or some other circumstances. Don’t give up if you don’t see progress right away! See all that can happen in just a few short months, and let that joy bring creativity and renewed purpose!

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Father God, thanks for helping me take small steps and celebrate small wins. Help me be obedient to all You are asking me to do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What is one small lifestyle change you can make this week? Does it scare you or do you feel confident?

Tasks: God gives us His power, as we change and become more like Jesus. If there is an area you are struggling in, ask Him to show you one small thing you can do differently. Then, watch it snowball and gain traction as you celebrate other wins! Check out this worship song: “New Thing” by Hillsong Young & Free

Hiccups, Pineapple, and Fear

When I picked up Lydia from daycare on Monday, she had hiccups.

After a couple of moments of listening to her, I told her how I usually get rid of them. I take a deep breath and hold it. Then, I swallow without letting go of the air. Somehow, this resets my diaphragm muscle, which helps my lungs spontaneously fill up and expel the air.

I’m happy to report that Lydia tried my method with success!

Lydia then told me how her friend stops hiccuping. She said that when you have hiccups, thinking of pineapples will make them go away!

I asked Lydia what she meant, and she started yelling: “Pineapples are fruit! Pineapples are yellow! Pineapples are spiky! Pineapples are sweet!”

Go ahead and try it, if you want. Report back if it works! 😉

I laughed and said, “You can do the same thing with fear! You can yell, ‘I won’t be afraid! Jesus loves me! I will not fear!'” Then, I told her how we can speak God’s Word over our fears. By doing so, we exchange fear for faith.

Below, I put a simple list of Bible verses that we can apply to our fears.

Psalm 23:4 (ESV) says,Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Psalm 27:1 (ESV) says, “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

Isaiah 41:10 (ESV) says,fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV) says, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

1 Peter 3:14 (NLT) says, “But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats.”

1 John 4:18 (NIV) says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Life is full of hiccups, yet we don’t have to be afraid. Sometimes, life is sweet like a pineapple. But even when life gets tough, we can reset and trust God! Breathe in His Word and exhale His strength. 

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God, thanks for always taking such good care of me. You are such a good provider. Thank You that I don’t have to be afraid! Help me trust You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Question: How do you get rid of the hiccups?

Task: Print out these verses and keep them accessible for the next time you are afraid!

Finding Grace #252

You may have seen the acronym GRACE as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. Grace is also God’s unmerited favor, or God doing for us what we cannot.

I find grace overflowing with God’s love, joy, peace, blessings, mercy, power, provision, protection, and wisdom. Thank You, Jesus!

Where did I find God’s love and favor—His abundant grace—this week?

This was another short work week, followed by another long weekend! I took off New Year’s Eve to spend time with Lydia. We had a fun, relaxing day together. We played games,  had a dance party, ate appetizers, and stayed up until midnight. It was fun!

This week, I am grateful for neighborly help. On Wednesday, my neighbor and a friend came to help me start my snow blower! It was recently fixed, but I still was having trouble. So, they showed me a “trick” to ensure it starts more regularly. I must’ve done it in the past, but never realized it!

The last few weeks have been busy, of course, with work, holidays, and more. But, I am grateful for a little rest sprinkled in, too. It was just what I needed!

Teaching Lydia gratitude is important to me. So, this week we worked on several thank you notes for all our Christmas gifts. She did most of them on her own and didn’t stall too much. I think all the practice is paying off!

Today, Lydia and I did a little housework and ran some errands. Then, we made some black bean and corn salsa (Lydia’s favorite) and some cherry-peach crisp with a topping of  pureed rehydrated figs, oatmeal, cinnamon, and pecans! It was so good, and we didn’t even miss the sugar and butter!

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These are only a few examples, but God’s grace never runs out!

There’s grace in every situation—we just need to look for it. God promises if we seek Him, we will find Him (see Jeremiah 29:13)!

Dearest, THINK

Like most people, I receive many emails everyday. Recently, I received an email that stood out. The email itself was of little importance, but what surprised me was that it started off with, “Dear Natalie.” I would expect that greeting in a thank you note, but even those are somewhat rare these days.

The email was professional in nature but it struck me as personal, friendly, and surprisingly refreshing. Just those two words, “Dear Natalie,” left me with a positive feeling about the situation.

It has been awhile since I have received an email that stayed with me like that. Perhaps that’s because much of what I (or we?) have seen and heard lately is bickering. We seem to have lost cordiality and common sense!

These days, what we say and do carries big impact. That’s always true, but now it seems there is even more at stake. Our interactions could affect someone else for eternity, either bringing them to Jesus or turning them off.

Yes, we all have opinions, and we have the ‘right’ to share them. However, we need to remember to hold these conversations in the proper time, place, and context so that others can receive them well. Otherwise, we are just a resounding gong or clanging cymbal!

There are opinions, and then there are facts. We tend to confuse the two and elevate the importance of opinions and preferences. Let’s take every thought captive and subject it to God’s Truth (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).

We can all quote the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them to unto you.

Then there’s also the adage: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

Needless to say, we could all communicate better! Let’s see others as God sees them. Treat them with kindness, respect, and generosity. We are all in this together.

That may mean sending a kind note to someone who has been rude. Or, going out of your way to be generous to someone who took advantage of you. Or, just simply respecting the person enough not to argue back.

You may not agree on issues, and that is okay. But consider each person as if they were your own dearest family member. Your parent, your child, your sibling, your grandparent. Treat people well.

Lately, I have seen Christians belittling others in person and online for their choices regarding masks, school, social events, etc. That doesn’t bring God glory in any way!

Dear friends, let’s pray and think carefully think before we speak. Peacemakers.

Discussion is good, and action is even better. But, what we really need right now is God’s mercy and grace. He alone is the Solution we need. 

If we want to be angry, fine. But, let’s seek God’s righteous anger. We, as humans, clearly don’t exhibit anger very well! Let God’s love, care, and compassion lead the way.

If we seek justice, we need to seek Jesus. He is our Peace. If we make plans, let’s first discuss them with the Master Planner. He is our only Hope.

These are tough times in American culture and around the world. Prayer is our first step, not a last resort. After that, let’s listen to each other, walk wisely, and love like Jesus.

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Dear God, thanks for loving us so dearly. Thanks for taking such good care of us. God, we need Your mercy to deal with all our challenges. We cannot do this without You. Please give us wisdom and grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: If the Bible says we are to submit to the government and be obedient, don’t you think He will help us as we honor His word? What is at stake if we don’t? (That does NOT mean we follow blindly. We pray, vote, trust and obey God first. Fear God; honor the King.)

Tasks: Before you speak (or write) your thoughts, THINK. Is is True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?

In Defense

“Maybe we should stop disliking people for what we have heard and be grateful God does not dislike us for what He knows.” –TobyMac

That quote reminds me of the impact of our words. Recently, someone was talking negatively about a friend of mine and put me in an awkward position. Yes, my friend certainly has faults, but I still enjoy their company.

I couldn’t discern if the person talking to me was jealous of my friend or actually had valid information. Either way, I heard an earful of unwanted gossip and was caught off guard.

While I tried to defend my friend, I don’t think I did an adequate job. Now that I’ve collected my thoughts, I’ll be sure to speak up next time. In the meanwhile, here’s what I should have said to the other person, but didn’t.

I don’t know about all that, but I really appreciate my friend! They have been good to me. They have selflessly helped me in countless ways over the years, often putting their own tasks on hold. I have learned so much from them, just as they have learned from me.

We have prayed for each other, and we have seen each other grow in Christ. Yes, perhaps they still have things to work on, but I’m grateful for how far they’ve come.

Furthermore, I want to see the good in people and hope they do the same for me. God knows I have faults too. But, because of Jesus, we have received mercy, grace, and forgiveness. We should extend the same toward others.

Similarly, let’s offer the benefit of the doubt. We weren’t there, so we don’t know the full story. Even if we were there, we wouldn’t necessarily know why things happened.

That doesn’t mean we ignore bad behavior, make excuses, or skip accountability. Yes, restitution is important, but there are many complex factors involved. It’s not always an easy, black-and-white answer.

Instead, when I sense an issue needs to be addressed, I ask my friend for their input and perspective. We don’t always agree, but we trust each other. We don’t make assumptions; we try to understand each other’s heart and intentions.

Remember, each person has God-given potential and a unique purpose. If we define someone by all their faults and failures, it’s likely they’ll never rise above them and fulfill God’s plan for their life.

They won’t come higher unless we raise our expectations of them. Let’s challenge them and encourage them along the way. Let’s agree with God and call out the good we see.

Let’s focus on everyone’s strengths, and cover their weaknesses with love. Let’s pray for people and mentor them, when possible. Not everyone is our responsibility to reach, but we can still set a godly example and point people to Jesus.

We need to be very careful not to ruin someone’s reputation with hearsay. So, let’s walk in a worthy manner and be wise in our interactions with everyone. We never know what they may glean from us… positive or negative influences that shape who they become.

We cannot change anyone, but we can extend grace toward everyone so they see Jesus and come to Him. Watching our words is difficult at times. But with Jesus, nothing is impossible.

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God, thanks for Your great mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Please help us continue to grow and get along with each other. Give us the unity of heart and purpose. Strengthen our relationships with each other so we can bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you deal with gossip? What else should I have said?

Tasks: Before you talk about someone, check your own heart. Memorize Ephesians 4:29, which says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)