It’s Totally Unfair!

This has been an… ‘interesting’… year already. I have seen God direct my path and use me to make a practical difference in other peoples’ lives. But, honestly, I’ve also seen some things that seem totally unfair to me or others…

For example, recently a friend slipped on her child’s Legos in the dark, hitting her entertainment center—with her face.  She busted her nose and needed major surgery. An accident yes, but still unfair.

Another friend had to forgive someone for major offenses when they clearly didn’t deserve it. Forgiveness is required for that relationship to move forward. But it’s definitely not fair.

I have seen friends struggle with various injustices, such as discrimination, financial difficulties, and health problems, too. It is easy to see how anger and resentment build up.

My own story is complex with its own challenges and I know yours is, too. We don’t have time to rehash or compare our stories here… Besides, these issues are not always bad—though at times they really do seem unfair.

Most of us, if we allow ourselves, could easily go down the “poor me” path or the “this would be better if” road. But one thing is certain: Complaining doesn’t help.

If our emotions are allowed to run the show, we will get stuck and never move forward! Instead, I have learned the best thing I can do is redirect my focus back to Jesus. When we bring Him our fear, pain, sorrow, anger, resentment, and embarrassment, He gives us hope, healing, wholeness, peace, forgiveness, and joy.

We can trust Jesus through and through. As both God and man, He has a unique perspective. He understands what each of goes through because He has been there, too.

You see, Jesus faced the same types of battles. Quite often, He didn’t know where His next meal was coming from or where He would sleep. Yet, He was expected to help people at all hours of the day/night. He was often put to the test and judged unfairly. He was used by the people but rarely thanked.

Also, Jesus was like a local celebrity so He was scrutinized at a higher level. He never could win over everyone—but He reached out to help as many as would receive Him.

All Jesus did was done with love. He healed people and comforted them. He even raised the dead back to life! He taught new ways to love and used His own life as an example to follow. Yet, he was still rejected.

Then, at the end of His young life, Jesus was wrongly accused and suffered a horrible death on the cross. Completely unfair. But to Jesus, we were worth it. He loves us so very much!

When I compare my conditions to what Jesus faced, I have no room to grumble. Jesus was well-acquainted with the ups and downs of life. So… if Jesus had to struggle, then we have no excuse.

At least we are in good company!

By definition, grace is an unmerited or unearned favor. Yes, God’s grace toward us is also unfair! We don’t deserve any of it!

Thankfully, God does not see our uncertain circumstances like we do. He can see the end from the beginning—and His thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours.

Trials have a way of refining us for the better—though it may take some time to see how. But no matter what we face, God loves us and is for us. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. He leads us and guides us.

God never changes. And no problem or difficulty—however big or bad—can change God’s goodness toward us. He has us covered!

Yes, God’s grace is unchanging, unfailing, unrelenting, unearned—and praise God, totally unfair!!


Heavenly Father, thanks for Jesus! Your everlasting love and abundant grace toward us are beyond unfair. Thank You! Help us have the right attitude as we walk in grace, love, and forgiveness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you respond when life seems unfair? Can you trust Jesus?

Tasks: Listen to “O’Lord” by Lauren Daigle and “Grace that Won’t Let Go,” by Mark Harris

Filled with Joy

This week, in addition to Thanksgiving, we are celebrating Lydia’s birthday! Regarding gifts, Lydia only requested one thing: a little toy bird. Of course, I bought it and kept it as a surprise. Actually, I bought her two because I couldn’t decide between them…

Then, a couple weeks ago, we were discussing her birthday. On a whim, I jokingly asked, “Well, what if I don’t get you a gift? Would that be okay?”

To my surprise, Lydia didn’t even blink. Immediately, she cheerfully replied, “That’s okay, Mom! You could just draw me a picture instead.” She went on to explain, “That’s what I do for you since I can’t go and buy you gifts when it’s your birthday or Christmas.”

While I was touched by her response, Lydia probably figured she would get gifts from other people… So perhaps she wasn’t concerned with missing out on a gift from me.

In the past, Lydia has gotten cards or presents from friends and family in several states. A good Father, God always makes sure she is taken care of. She is well-loved!

On her birthday, Lydia took popcorn for a snack at school. Then, at lunchtime, I joined her class for their meal. I also saw most of our little neighborhood friends. It was a fun experience! The kids were so excited to have a visitor.

 Overjoyed, the kids wiggled as they stood in the lunch line. They each wanted to sit next to me, show me a trick, or tell me an interesting story. The principal read a special Thanksgiving story, and I enjoyed talking with Lydia and her classmates.

After school, we went to Cherry Berry for frozen yogurt. Then, we came home to open presents. Lydia was happy with my gifts—a puzzle and two little birds that sing and can repeat what you say. (I may be regretting that soon!) She also received gifts from friends and family. Thank you!

Over the years, I have learned so much while watching Lydia learn and grow. She loves to read and do math! It is amazing to see her become who God intended. Indeed, she has many of Dave’s best qualities. I know he would also be so proud of her.

This season (and birthday) is our fifth time celebrating without Dave. Sometimes it can still be a little bittersweet. Each year has been so different, yet the Lord has been so kind and generous to us. The joy of the Lord is my strength!

Nothing can replace Dave, yet while we miss him, we keep moving forward. God loves watching His children grow through trials and walk in Victory. We can always celebrate His goodness and grace because God’s love never fails.

These days, I don’t often cry because of grief. Instead, if I am teary-eyed, it is usually because I am so thankful for all the Lord has done for us!

This week—and through this season—we will celebrate our many gifts, new milestones, and our dear friends and family… This year, our hearts are filled with joy.

Thanks to all who continue to encourage us and check in on us from time to time. Thanks for all your prayers and support! It means so much to us. We are truly blessed.


Father God, You are so good and gracious. Thanks for taking such great care of us. Help us remember just how much You love us. Let us share Your love with those around us, especially during this holiday season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: What are you thankful for? How have you grown this year?

Tasks: Call a friend who needs some encouragement during this season. Take them a meal or invite them over to visit. Be a blessing to them!

All I Can Do

Lately, I have had the honor of praying for a variety of people. These prayer requests include everything from relationship issues, health problems, job uncertainty, financial strain, parenting difficulties, big decisions, relief from natural disasters, and more.

I’m glad to pray for others and share their burdens in practical ways. But as I consider these needs, along with my own, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed. On my own, I am totally inadequate to handle them all. Thank God for Jesus!

I don’t need fancy words or impressive deeds for Jesus to answer my prayers. He eagerly waits to hear from each of us because He loves us so much!

When life is just too much to handle on my own, I need Jesus.
The converse is also true: When life is going well, I need Jesus.

 Sometimes, all I can do is draw close to Jesus. Anytime I need help, I can lean on the Lord, my Rock. He is my strong tower so I run to Him. When I don’t know what else to do…sometimes, that’s all I can do.

When I fall, I know He will catch me. When I humbly surrender everything to Jesus, He lifts be back up–better than before. The good news is that Jesus readily offers His grace and truth, strength and joy, mercy and forgiveness. He is so good!

Whatever I am facing—bad or good—I can bring it to Jesus. When I leave the issue in His hands, I can rest and pray, listen and obey.  He is mighty to save.

I can choose to trust God over my feelings. I can choose joy and gratitude over fear and self-doubt. I can choose to stand in Victory instead of living defeated. He is the Wonderful Counselor and the Prince of Peace!

I can choose to forgive myself and others, leaving the past where it belongs. With God’s abundant grace, I can move forward in faith. He is more than enough for me.

Yes, I can cling to Jesus, knowing He will never leave me on my own. I can also ask for wisdom, clarity, and courage. Really, that’s the least I can do.

Praise God, I don’t have to beg or grovel for help. Jesus is right here with me! He longs to do for me what I cannot do for myself. But, I do have to choose to let Him help me.

Yes, the Lord is my refuge, my strength, my righteousness, and my defense.
I wholeheartedly trust in His unfailing love. Indeed, that’s the best thing I can do!

Heavenly Father, thank You for hearing us when we pray. With you, nothing is impossible. Help us listen and obey as You work through us. You are so good, Lord. Refresh us with Your sweet grace and love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Are you trying to meet your own needs or are you asking the Lord for help?

Tasks: Meditate on Psalm 59:17.

Decisions, Decisions

So far, this school year is off to a good start. I’m glad Lydia is enjoying the learning process. I am keeping up with coordinating everything behind the scenes. Clothes, hair, breakfast, backpack, library book, permission slip, *optional* homework, special shirt for spirit week, snacks, lunch, bus…the list goes on!

As usual, I’ve had to juggle (and re-juggle) several competing priorities. Most of us do that every day. The difference is that I’ve also had several new requests for my time.

Should I take on more work? Should I join the PTO? Should I volunteer for this activity? Am I available to help with X and Y? Can I meet this deadline? To do or not to do…?

Over the last few weeks, many people have asked me to be involved in a variety of activities. I’m so glad to have such opportunities! But, I haven’t committed to many of them…just yet.

Instead, I’ve been relying on the Lord for help in managing each task and request. It takes time and prayer to discern what to do in each season. I would be foolish to think I can do it on my own. I want to know His plan for me, because that’s where I want to be.

So, my prayer for the last month-and-a-half has been, “Lord, please direct my steps.”

I am so glad God’s grace covers me each day. I hate the feeling of letting people down, but I only have so much wiggle-room in my schedule. I only have so much energy on reserve! (I’m glad I finally realize this!) 😉

So, instead of worrying about not doing enough, I celebrate how God made me unique. He never created me to do EVERYTHING… But there are things only I can do.

Even without extra activities, life can feel a little hectic at times! As I pray about what should be in my schedule, I consider how much time, effort, and resources each option will require. Then, I consider if it is wise to add (or delete) something.

Here’s another blog post about making decisions. I always find these ideas helpful!

I am really enjoying this current season. I’m thankful for the grace and freedom to do what God has put in front of me for the moment. And praise God, I don’t have to do it perfectly!


Heavenly Father, thank You for all You do for me. As I review each opportunity, show me which path to take. Help me to choose wisely and bring You glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you decide which activities to add or delete from your calendar? How do you know when you need to make a change?

Tasks: Take a look at your current responsibilities. Pray, asking the Lord to show you if you need to make any changes.

Making Toast in the Bathroom

It’s funny how one day can be so different from the next. On Monday, each of our activities was spaced out with adequate time in between. On Tuesday, we had the about the same time margins with even less activities…but I felt disorganized and unprepared.

On Monday, Lydia started two weeks of swimming lessons in the late afternoon. Water safety is imperative, so the time commitment is worth it. However, adding an activity always gives me less time elsewhere. This week it threw off my routine…

Thus, on Tuesday, I felt behind from the get-go. I woke up groggy, despite getting adequate sleep. It took Lydia awhile to get dressed and I soon realized I forgot to pack lunches the night before. Everything took longer!

I threw together breakfast (and lunch) for the road, but rushing only cost me time. First, I chose a too-small container and had to dump Lydia’s breakfast into a larger one. Then, I spilled something and had to clean it up.

Back and forth, I ran around the kitchen. I grabbed lids, baggies, and paper towels to wipe up my messes. Finally, I looked at the clock as I poured my coffee to-go. I was late!

Enter GRACE.

I took a few deep breathes and prayed, reconnecting with what was important. I thanked God for my flexible schedule. I was later than I had planned to be at work, but I wasn’t really late. As long as I arrived earlier than my presentation, I would be okay. I could stay later and still get my hours in on the back-end of my work day. Not a big deal.

Then, I decided to slow down and focus. No amount of stress is worth a car accident or something worse. Being safe and healthy is more important than being “on time” (especially with my flexible schedule).

On the way to work, I heard a quote…something to the effect that Life is 10% what happens to us (circumstances) and 90% what we make of it (attitude). At any rate, I can choose to see the glass half-full! I ended up only about fifteen minutes later than I had planned and was still early for my presentation. Thanks, Lord.

I discussed my morning with my coworker. She laughed and said, “At least you didn’t have to make toast in your bathroom!” She explained that she had a similar morning when her kitchen outlets blew a fuse. Her family was all ready to go except breakfast. Instead of waiting around to find the problem, she was resourceful!

Praise God, I got ahold of my attitude before it got the best of me. I ended up having a good day and was able to laugh it off. I was productive at work and swimming lessons in the evening went well. I even remembered to prepare breakfast and lunches in advance!

Often, Life is unpredictable and feels out of control. Regardless of your circumstances, you are in charge of your attitude. But, you don’t have to deal with it all alone! With God’s help, nothing is impossible. Lean on Him for grace and strength. His timing is perfect and His plan is good.

Most of our daily stressors are minor. They are not worth losing our cool. Thankfully, most of us will never have to make toast in the bathroom!


Father God, You are gracious and wise. Thanks for the creativity to solve problems as we live for you. Give us inner peace in the midst of chaotic circumstances. May we bring You glory in all we do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: How do you handle daily stress? Do you pray, journal, call a friend, exercise, or what?

Task: Find a healthy way to de-stress!

Like A Beast

Yesterday, I enjoyed a movie date with my sister and two close friends. We went to see Beauty and the Beast during Lydia’s school hours. My neighbor’s little boy attends there, too, so her husband picked up the kids while we enjoyed the movie. We had a great time!

It’s always fun to think about how I am like the beautiful heroine. But over the weekend, sadly, I was more like an ugly BEAST! In a rash moment, I made a huge mistake.

In short, I blindsided a dear friend by pointing out some (perceived) faults. I didn’t plan to say anything negative or disrespectful, but I really hurt my friend. I totally blew it. To make matters worse, I kept talking. I tried to backtrack and smooth over what I had already said. But the damage was done.

This friend has many wonderful and admirable qualities, but I didn’t get a chance to mention those. This friend is bold and courageous, yet gentle and caring. My friend has strong character and always seeks to do the right thing. This friend encourages me and challenges me to be my best. My friend is faithful to pray for me and Lydia and checks in with us from time to time. We so appreciate our friend.

Yet, in a few short minutes, I nearly ruined our friendship. At least that’s what it felt like.

So, I apologized and went home. On my own, I tearfully considered all that had gone wrong in such a short time. I had wanted to build up my friend, not tear them down. I try to encourage others, but in this case, I did the exact opposite. I was clearly in the wrong. I offered another apology, but knew my friend needed some time (and space).

The next day, my friend was much more gracious to me than I deserved—honest, but not condemning. Just like Jesus. There’s no excusing my poor behavior that day, and I hope to make it up to my friend soon. But trust is earned.

I’d like to say this is an isolated event. This type of thing doesn’t happen often. Even so, there are lots of other times I have messed up! That’s why I need Jesus!

Jesus is kind and considerate, firm yet caring. He does not jump to conclusions and is always willing to give me a second chance. The Lord is slow to anger and rich in love.

Indeed, Jesus offered mercy and forgiveness before I ever knew I needed it. He saved me according to His grace, not because of anything I have done or ever could do. I could never make things right on my own. (See Ephesians 2:4-5)

Clearly, I’m not perfect… but whether I act as Beauty or the Beast, I am grateful for forgiveness, second chances, good friends and God’s grace!


Heavenly Father, you are gracious and compassionate. Thank You for being merciful when I don’t deserve it. Thank You, Jesus, for taking my punishment on the cross. Thank You for loving me so much and not letting sin separate us! Help me love like You do. In Your Name, Amen

Questions: Have you seen the new Beauty and the Beast movie? In what ways are you like Belle? In what ways are you like the Beast? (Hopefully, I am not the only one!) 🙂

Tasks: Praise God for His forgiveness! Do a quick heart check to determine whether you need to offer someone an apology or offer forgiveness. Then do it!

On Being a Servant

Earlier this week, I heard that the average person spends 85% of their time thinking about themselves and the other 15% thinking about others. Wow, what a disconnect!

Of course, Jesus is the ultimate example of selflessness. He loved us so much, that He did something about it. He came down into our mess to save us. But Jesus didn’t stop there. He gave us every blessing and lets us work with Him! What grace!

People are Jesus’ priority. And, because we are His ambassadors, we should follow His lead. But this requires sacrifice… It may cost time, money, or energy/effort. Or, all of these combined! This seemed to come naturally to my late husband, Dave. He was such a servant! For me, though, it’s something I continually have to cultivate.

So, how do we go from self-focused to servanthood?

Seek input from others. Be willing to listen to their ideas, yet refuse the urge to gossip.

Help solve problems, even if there is no gain for you.

Encourage one another. Lift each other up and don’t tear each other down.

Think “we” instead of “me.” Work together as a team to accomplish more.

Be considerate. How will _______ (this decision or action) affect everyone else?

Treat others respectfully, even if they don’t treat you the same.

Practically speaking, this may be watching someone’s children, house work, yard work, or helping someone cross the street. It could be yielding to another car in traffic or letting someone go ahead of you at the grocery store. It doesn’t have to be over-the-top.

Yesterday, my heart was touched when a man in a wheelchair held the door for me!

We are transformed by serving others. Our hearts and attitudes change as we help meet others’ needs and join Jesus in His work. In fact, the closer we grow to Him, we become His friends, not just servants.

It’s much more fun and effective to work or serve with your friends, right?!

Being a servant is an act of worship. At the end of my life, I want to hear Jesus say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” But He probably won’t say, “Well thought, good and faithful servant.” We need to put our love in action.

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Yes, it may be costly, but it helps to keep the right perspective. Our work is for the Lord Himself and He will reward us richly (in various ways). With Jesus, we always come out ahead!

In the end, loving others is not about me. People don’t need to see more of me, me, me. We exhibit Christ’s love so others may know Him personally. More of Him, less of me.


Heavenly Father, You are so gracious. Thank You for calling us friends! Help us see where You are working and join You there. Give me a servant’s heart. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Do you find serving others to be a challenge, or is it easy for you? Do you have any other ideas to share on being a servant?!

Tasks: Look for new opportunities to serve each day. Be creative and considerate. Write a thank you note to someone who blessed you!

Work In-Progress

Lately, I have been reading several articles and opinion pieces about the election. Although, it seems everyone has a slant these days. There is much ‘passion’ on every side.

But, I have to remember: There are opinions… and facts. And then, there’s the Truth!

If I were to put too much stock in it all, it could be easy to give in to fear of the unknown. But change does not have to mean doom-and-gloom.

Despite the craziness of the election and its aftermath, God’s power, grace, and love for us are not diminished. Indeed, God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind (see 2 Timothy 1:7)!


And while I see the big picture, I am also reminded that our corporate responses do not negate our personal responsibilities. “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

In other news, Lydia’s birthday is less than a week away. She’s excited for her special day! Of note, I am using this ‘opportunity’ to reevaluate what I am teaching Lydia. I think it’s wise to do this from time to time, anyway! 🙂

After all, I am her ‘first’ teacher!

While Lydia was interested in the election, I felt it was still important to maintain the same boundaries I always do when discussing adult topics. (We’ve already dealt with some pretty heavy topics—such as death and cancer—these last few years.)

I always tell the truth, but I don’t share details that are beyond Lydia’s age and comprehension. I don’t want to confuse her, burden her, or make her needlessly afraid.


Someday Lydia and I will talk about bigger, more complicated concepts. Sure thing. But some issues can be broken down into smaller ones right now. These topics include the power of our words, not gossiping or blaming others, and not taking offense.

It can be overwhelming at times, on top of our other daily tasks. But lessons on character, friendship, and serving others are always appropriate. We read books on a variety of topics, role play certain scenarios, and talk about life together.

As a single mom, I do the best I can each day. We are all a work in-progress, and of course, I don’t have all the answers. But I rely on God’s help through it all.


I pray Lydia will truly understand God’s love for her. I pray she will love God and walk her unique path with Him all the days of her life. I pray Lydia will be compassionate, that she will put God’s love in action as she seeks to help others.

Of course, I want Lydia to know that she is capable of doing many wonderful things, if she is willing to work hard. We each have an advantage area, but success is never guaranteed.

Regardless of what life throws at us (fair or not), we don’t have to have a victim mindset. With Jesus, we are more than conquerors. I encourage Lydia that she can do all things she is called to do, because Jesus will give her His strength.

I’m teaching Lydia to be responsible for her choices. Oh boy, this is a tough one to teach, day in and day out. Currently, this means reinforcing first-time obedience and some daily chores. Little by little, she’ll get there.

Lydia’s also learning what gratitude is, and attempts to write thank you notes. At this point, this typically means a hand-drawn picture with stickers and her name on it. 🙂


Slowly but surely, I am teaching Lydia to master her emotions. A life-long challenge, this goes beyond simple optimism or having a good attitude (though, that always helps). Feelings can change in the matter of a few minutes, but harboring negative emotions won’t resolve anything.

Ultimately, we are blessed to be a blessing. We are called to love others and be respectful, even if we don’t always agree with someone. What I teach Lydia at home, will have lasting impact not only in her life, but also those she connects with.

One by one, we each have the opportunity to serve others and make a difference.


Heavenly Father, thanks for being with us in the daily struggles of life. Please give us wisdom. Help us to love and honor each other, despite our differences. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: Have you learned anything ‘new’ lately by watching current events? Are there any changes you will make in your personal life as a result?

Tasks: For the next news article or opinion post you see, look for the original quotes, facts, or figures. Compare the conclusions!

In God I Trust

I stayed up late into the early morning hours, watching the US election results! Whoa.

I’m not quite sure what to say. Regardless of the outcome, the nation remains divided.

I voted early last week, and felt comfortable with my decisions.

Yet, I am still trying to wrap my mind about What. Just. Happened.


I have mixed feelings. I’m glad the election itself is over, because it was a long time coming. At the minimum, it is a big turning point for America.

As a parent, I want to put on a brave face. Lydia was very interested in learning about the election and who I might vote for. I didn’t want to alert her to the craziness, but did explain a few key issues in kid-friendly terms. Of course, I want to protect her innocence.

I’m still not sure how to explain democracy to my preschooler.

As with any election, the economy, environment, judicial system, and many key social issues are at stake, for better or worse. We’ll see what happens, domestically and internationally. This election took a toll on personal relationships, too… I am sad for my friends, family, and so many others who were depending on a different outcome.

But I think we can all agree on this:

Either way, our new leader needs our prayers. Now more than ever. I can’t even imagine the mind-boggling stress, temptations, flack and chaos that comes with being President of the United States.


I wonder what the next few months and years will hold. But I don’t have to worry.

In God I trust.

We will always be disappointed if we place our hope and expectations on people, no matter how ‘qualified’ they might be. Our leaders will rise and fall, but Jesus is still in control. He is trustworthy, faithful and just. He will make all things right, in the end.

Thankfully, no matter who is in the White House, Jesus remains on the eternal throne. He is the soon-returning King, and the only One Who Saves! God, we need you!

My eyes are on Jesus. He loves us, and His plans for us are good.

We can have peace right now, because He’s not surprised or put-off by our current events. Despite all odds, we can stand firm. He will not leave or forsake us. He’s got this!


No matter what happens next, here are some things that will not change…

I will not tolerate hatred, blame, or ill will. Never have, never will. But I will always be gracious to those who look, think, or act differently than me.

I will not give up hope. But I will continue to pray about the future of America.

I will not get weighed down or caught up in the drama. But I will be cheerful, kind, and respectful to everyone I meet.

I will not gripe, groan, or gloat. But I will live at peace with others, as much as it depends on me (Romans 12:18).


And I will be grateful for the opportunities given to me.

Thanks to those who have gone before me, I can vote and use my voice wisely.

I can pray… and use the freedoms I have to make a real difference.

So I will not give in to fear. I will focus on unity, not division. And, I will be loving, encouraging and supporting to those who need it most.

Ultimately, my citizenship is in Heaven (Philippians 3:20). In God I trust. He’s got this!


God, You reign over all. Thank You for your continued grace and mercy on our nation. Please help our leaders seek Your wisdom. Bring Your Peace, and help us live peaceably with one another. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Questions: Did you vote in the election? Was it an easy decision or challenge for you?

Tasks: Pray about how you can promote peace and good-will in your relationships.


A Friend Loves at All Times

We have some really cute and funny kids in our neighborhood. For the most part, they all play really well together. And since many of them come over to my house to play, I have a prime opportunity to observe their social interactions.


In general, Lydia appears to be an extrovert and thrives on being around others. She loves knocking on doors (with permission) to ask if friends can come out to play. Lydia talks about and misses her friends when they are unavailable. Even so, when several of these kids get together, it’s possible someone could feel left out.

Although most parents try to teach their kids to share, use their manners, and be kind, most of us understand how it feels on the other side. We’ve all had those moments.

I like to look out for underdogs and wallflowers and want Lydia to do the same. To help her understand what I mean, she’s had to apologize on occasion for hurting someone’s feelings. I make her ‘take a break’ from playing with friends when tensions arise…because I don’t want her to take them for granted.

I wish it was always that simple!

We also role play different scenarios, where Lydia is ‘left out’ or where she stands up for someone who is. I regularly challenge Lydia to be on the lookout for someone who needs a friend. It doesn’t always work out as I hope. But when someone is left out, everyone else also misses out… on what that person has to offer.

As I talk with the other parents, we compare notes. It’s good to be on the same page!


I suppose the concept of ‘being a friend’ hits home for me because I have relied so much on my friends these last few years. Lydia does not realize this just yet…but we would’ve never made it without God’s grace and all the loving support we received, from people near and far.

When Dave was sick, friends and family around the world—in England, Greece, Singapore, Spain, Sweden, not to mention all over the United States—prayed for us and helped us. Almost every week, we received something encouraging in the mail: Cards, gifts, handmade items, food deliveries, books, and more.

Many of the Fargo friends who played such an important role in our cancer journey have moved away for various reasons. But from my limited perspective, I like to think that perhaps God had them in Fargo because they had a special part to play in our story.

It is fascinating to think of how God orchestrated all these peoples’ lives to intersect them with ours when we needed it most. Only He could set up such perfect timing!

They stood with us during our roughest moments. And when our faith faltered, these friends pointed us to Jesus. When we had no strength of our own, they carried us to Him.

Friends mowed our lawn each week, watched Lydia at a moment’s notice (and kept her overnight), or took our dog, Britain, for weeks at a time. Yes, these friends were the hands and feet of Jesus in ways we had never seen before!


Thank you. I am still in awe.

Of course, this does not diminish the significant role our own families played… but indeed, many of those friends and neighbors became like family! Without a doubt, Lydia and I are doing well because of ALL the loving sacrifices made on our behalf!

I hope Lydia understands: When you’re at your worst, a true friend is still loyal.

Like a golden retriever! 🙂

It has come full circle for me lately. In many cases, I am now praying for and encouraging dear friends all over the world in their own trials. It is such an honor to return the favor!

Sooo…This week Lydia and I are reviewing Proverbs 17:17 (above) and parts of 1 Corinthians 13. These verses have been good reminders for me too! And though some friends have moved away, God has also given me many new friendships. He is so, so good to me!


Gracious God, thanks for dear friends and family. Thanks for the encouragement You provide through them. Help us love one another! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Questions: What does friendship mean to you? When was the last time you told your friends and family that you love and appreciate them?